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Posted: 7/26/2013 6:25:46 PM EDT
[#1]
I should add Im court order to pay 60%.. But, like I said, I have never gotten a bill. just a txt every couple of months "hey you owe this"
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Posted: 7/26/2013 6:29:16 PM EDT
[#2]
If it ain't on paper it didn't happen.
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Posted: 7/26/2013 6:29:16 PM EDT
[#3]
Tell the judge.
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Posted: 7/26/2013 6:29:28 PM EDT
[#4]
Think of it as a "stupid tax"?
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Posted: 7/26/2013 6:32:35 PM EDT
[#5]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
If it ain't on paper it didn't happen. Yeah this. No offense man but it sounds like you're fucked. When dealing with an ex and kid/child support EVERYTHING needs a paper trail. |
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Posted: 7/26/2013 6:33:54 PM EDT
[#6]
Dude I dont want to go deep into it now (TGIF), but I'm a CPA who deals with this a lot, PM me and I will detail a response tomorrow if you want.
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Posted: 7/26/2013 6:34:11 PM EDT
[#7]
Does your agreement order a certain timeline for you ex to submit bills? Mine states she has 15 days.
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Posted: 7/26/2013 6:34:38 PM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yeah this. No offense man but it sounds like you're fucked. When dealing with an ex and kid/child support EVERYTHING needs a paper trail. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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If it ain't on paper it didn't happen. Yeah this. No offense man but it sounds like you're fucked. When dealing with an ex and kid/child support EVERYTHING needs a paper trail. So she can just rack up a shit ton of bills then send a receipt at anytime and I have to pay? even if the daycare lady has not given her a receipt? |
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Posted: 7/26/2013 6:34:47 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yeah this. No offense man but it sounds like you're fucked. When dealing with an ex and kid/child support EVERYTHING needs a paper trail. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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If it ain't on paper it didn't happen. Yeah this. No offense man but it sounds like you're fucked. When dealing with an ex and kid/child support EVERYTHING needs a paper trail. yep, but it goes even beyond that... |
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Posted: 7/26/2013 6:35:09 PM EDT
[#10]
I was in your same boat in NY. She (said she) paid her sister to watch our daughter. I asked my ex-sister in law to bill me or provide a receipt and I would pay her directly. Never happened, so I stopped paying it. I waited for the ex to take me to family court and get it ordered. The court should have included it in your support order as an add on (example: your CS payment is $500 bi weekly + your pro-rata share of the day care costs. Also, unless the care provider is a family member, the ex should be using a licensed care provider and you can argue that point to the court.)
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Posted: 7/26/2013 6:41:05 PM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Does your agreement order a certain timeline for you ex to submit bills? Mine states she has 15 days. No, and I had to pay 1000 in to fed taxes because I could not claim my daycare last year... |
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Posted: 7/26/2013 6:45:01 PM EDT
[#12]
I don't know how you're state works.....but, NEVER, EVER PAY HER ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT IS REQUIRED THRU THE COURT!!!!!!!
As said before, it don't matter unless you have a receipt. Before I got custody of my kids, I paid CS to the ex cunt thru the county circuit clerk. Plus, I made damn sure I got a receipt from the clerks office each time I paid. Cover your ass. I've heard too many horror stories of dudes getting buttfucked by the CS system because ex wife got pissed and cried dude not paying child support, and dude didn't have receipts to prove otherwise. |
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Posted: 7/26/2013 6:49:04 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I don't know how you're state works.....but, NEVER, EVER PAY HER ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT IS REQUIRED THRU THE COURT!!!!!!! As said before, it don't matter unless you have a receipt. Before I got custody of my kids, I paid CS to the ex cunt thru the county circuit clerk. Plus, I made damn sure I got a receipt from the clerks office each time I paid. Cover your ass. I've heard too many horror stories of dudes getting buttfucked by the CS system because ex wife got pissed and cried dude not paying child support, and dude didn't have receipts to prove otherwise. every check I have written has "daycare" written on the memo line. However she has never sent me a bill, or a receipt. Basicly I have paid her based on a TXT. Radio silence for the last 3 months and daycare now all of a sudden I "owe" 700 bucks..... 
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Posted: 7/26/2013 6:52:48 PM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I was in your same boat in NY. She (said she) paid her sister to watch our daughter. I asked my ex-sister in law to bill me or provide a receipt and I would pay her directly. Never happened, so I stopped paying it. I waited for the ex to take me to family court and get it ordered. The court should have included it in your support order as an add on (example: your CS payment is $500 bi weekly + your pro-rata share of the day care costs. Also, unless the care provider is a family member, the ex should be using a licensed care provider and you can argue that point to the court.) Did you still have to pay? or did the judge tell her she was fucked? She can prove she paid this lady with her checks im sure, however if this lady wont give her proof (times dates ssn daycare number ect) do I still get fucked? |
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Posted: 7/26/2013 6:56:08 PM EDT
[#15]
OP, the very first thing you do before ponying up any more dough is get an invoice or receipt.
Her unlicensed daycare proivider's potential tax and legal problems are none of yours. Plus, do you really want your child in the care of an unlicensed provider? if she bitches tell her to take it to the judge. |
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Posted: 7/26/2013 6:58:38 PM EDT
[#16]
Do you 1099 your daycare payments?
 Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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Posted: 7/26/2013 7:00:35 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Did you still have to pay? or did the judge tell her she was fucked? She can prove she paid this lady with her checks im sure, however if this lady wont give her proof (times dates ssn daycare number ect) do I still get fucked? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I was in your same boat in NY. She (said she) paid her sister to watch our daughter. I asked my ex-sister in law to bill me or provide a receipt and I would pay her directly. Never happened, so I stopped paying it. I waited for the ex to take me to family court and get it ordered. The court should have included it in your support order as an add on (example: your CS payment is $500 bi weekly + your pro-rata share of the day care costs. Also, unless the care provider is a family member, the ex should be using a licensed care provider and you can argue that point to the court.) Did you still have to pay? or did the judge tell her she was fucked? She can prove she paid this lady with her checks im sure, however if this lady wont give her proof (times dates ssn daycare number ect) do I still get fucked? I had to pay because my ex-SIL wrote a statement that she was paid $X-amount. Having said that, I wasn't charged retro-actively. I just had to pay from that point on. |
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Posted: 7/26/2013 7:02:23 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Do you 1099 your daycare payments?
Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile I tried, but the daycare lady would not give me her info as she does not claim the income... I need either her ssn or ID number. |
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Posted: 7/26/2013 7:04:47 PM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I had to pay because my ex-SIL wrote a statement that she was paid $X-amount. Having said that, I wasn't charged retro-actively. I just had to pay from that point on. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
I was in your same boat in NY. She (said she) paid her sister to watch our daughter. I asked my ex-sister in law to bill me or provide a receipt and I would pay her directly. Never happened, so I stopped paying it. I waited for the ex to take me to family court and get it ordered. The court should have included it in your support order as an add on (example: your CS payment is $500 bi weekly + your pro-rata share of the day care costs. Also, unless the care provider is a family member, the ex should be using a licensed care provider and you can argue that point to the court.) Did you still have to pay? or did the judge tell her she was fucked? She can prove she paid this lady with her checks im sure, however if this lady wont give her proof (times dates ssn daycare number ect) do I still get fucked? I had to pay because my ex-SIL wrote a statement that she was paid $X-amount. Having said that, I wasn't charged retro-actively. I just had to pay from that point on. God I hope this is true... I hate to roll the dice. But im not paying a dime until I get a bill. Im just worried about looking bad in the courts eyes for not paying.. |
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Posted: 7/26/2013 7:05:02 PM EDT
[#20]
Are you in the city? If so I have the name of a very fair and great attorney for you.
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Posted: 7/26/2013 7:07:42 PM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
God I hope this is true... I hate to roll the dice. But im not paying a dime until I get a bill. Im just worried about looking bad in the courts eyes for not paying.. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
I was in your same boat in NY. She (said she) paid her sister to watch our daughter. I asked my ex-sister in law to bill me or provide a receipt and I would pay her directly. Never happened, so I stopped paying it. I waited for the ex to take me to family court and get it ordered. The court should have included it in your support order as an add on (example: your CS payment is $500 bi weekly + your pro-rata share of the day care costs. Also, unless the care provider is a family member, the ex should be using a licensed care provider and you can argue that point to the court.) Did you still have to pay? or did the judge tell her she was fucked? She can prove she paid this lady with her checks im sure, however if this lady wont give her proof (times dates ssn daycare number ect) do I still get fucked? I had to pay because my ex-SIL wrote a statement that she was paid $X-amount. Having said that, I wasn't charged retro-actively. I just had to pay from that point on. God I hope this is true... I hate to roll the dice. But im not paying a dime until I get a bill. Im just worried about looking bad in the courts eyes for not paying.. If you have been paying child support that is within the 17% of your gross income and can prove it, you should be fine. Like I said, the court should have included it as an add on to your CS payment. |
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Posted: 7/26/2013 7:16:39 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
If you have been paying child support that is within the 17% of your gross income and can prove it, you should be fine. Like I said, the court should have included it as an add on to your CS payment. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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I was in your same boat in NY. She (said she) paid her sister to watch our daughter. I asked my ex-sister in law to bill me or provide a receipt and I would pay her directly. Never happened, so I stopped paying it. I waited for the ex to take me to family court and get it ordered. The court should have included it in your support order as an add on (example: your CS payment is $500 bi weekly + your pro-rata share of the day care costs. Also, unless the care provider is a family member, the ex should be using a licensed care provider and you can argue that point to the court.) Did you still have to pay? or did the judge tell her she was fucked? She can prove she paid this lady with her checks im sure, however if this lady wont give her proof (times dates ssn daycare number ect) do I still get fucked? I had to pay because my ex-SIL wrote a statement that she was paid $X-amount. Having said that, I wasn't charged retro-actively. I just had to pay from that point on. God I hope this is true... I hate to roll the dice. But im not paying a dime until I get a bill. Im just worried about looking bad in the courts eyes for not paying.. If you have been paying child support that is within the 17% of your gross income and can prove it, you should be fine. Like I said, the court should have included it as an add on to your CS payment. I pay the 17 plus 60% of daycare, I carry the insurance, plus have to pay 60% of uncovered medical.. |
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Posted: 7/26/2013 7:19:08 PM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Dude I dont want to go deep into it now (TGIF), but I'm a CPA who deals with this a lot, PM me and I will detail a response tomorrow if you want. A CPA who knows family law? I can't count how many of my cases started with a CPA giving legal advice. No offense, but please leave the law to lawyers.  Edited: OP, hire a lawyer. If you can't afford one go to a legal aid clinic. Your ass can be sent to jail for child support crap in many states so don't take chances. |
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Posted: 7/26/2013 7:20:31 PM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
A CPA who knows family law? I can't count how many of my cases started with a CPA giving legal advice. No offense, but please leave the law to lawyers.
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Dude I dont want to go deep into it now (TGIF), but I'm a CPA who deals with this a lot, PM me and I will detail a response tomorrow if you want. A CPA who knows family law? I can't count how many of my cases started with a CPA giving legal advice. No offense, but please leave the law to lawyers.
Whats your take on the situation then? Im assuming your a lawyer. |
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Posted: 7/26/2013 7:21:53 PM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Whats your take on the situation then? Im assuming your a lawyer. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Dude I dont want to go deep into it now (TGIF), but I'm a CPA who deals with this a lot, PM me and I will detail a response tomorrow if you want. A CPA who knows family law? I can't count how many of my cases started with a CPA giving legal advice. No offense, but please leave the law to lawyers. Whats your take on the situation then? Im assuming your a lawyer. You need a NY family law lawyer. Family lawyers are usually specialists. I don't want to give out anything further in case I lead you down the wrong path. But let a lawyer handle it before the state gets involved. |
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Posted: 7/26/2013 7:24:50 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
You need a NY family law lawyer. Family lawyers are usually specialists. I don't want to give out anything further in case I lead you down the wrong path. But let a lawyer handle it before the state gets involved. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Dude I dont want to go deep into it now (TGIF), but I'm a CPA who deals with this a lot, PM me and I will detail a response tomorrow if you want. A CPA who knows family law? I can't count how many of my cases started with a CPA giving legal advice. No offense, but please leave the law to lawyers.
Whats your take on the situation then? Im assuming your a lawyer. You need a NY family law lawyer. Family lawyers are usually specialists. I don't want to give out anything further in case I lead you down the wrong path. But let a lawyer handle it before the state gets involved. lawyer fees vrs 700 in daycare... I cant afford either 
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Posted: 7/26/2013 7:30:28 PM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I tried, but the daycare lady would not give me her info as she does not claim the income... I need either her ssn or ID number. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Do you 1099 your daycare payments?
Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile I tried, but the daycare lady would not give me her info as she does not claim the income... I need either her ssn or ID number. From everything I've read so far, plus with this...... You need talk to a lawyer. No offense, but it sounds like you are getting buttfucked with no lube. Seriously. |
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Posted: 7/26/2013 7:30:44 PM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted: lawyer fees vrs 700 in daycare... I cant afford either Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Dude I dont want to go deep into it now (TGIF), but I'm a CPA who deals with this a lot, PM me and I will detail a response tomorrow if you want. A CPA who knows family law? I can't count how many of my cases started with a CPA giving legal advice. No offense, but please leave the law to lawyers. Whats your take on the situation then? Im assuming your a lawyer. You need a NY family law lawyer. Family lawyers are usually specialists. I don't want to give out anything further in case I lead you down the wrong path. But let a lawyer handle it before the state gets involved. lawyer fees vrs 700 in daycare... I cant afford either At least get a free consult. Most lawyers still do that. |
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Posted: 7/26/2013 7:32:23 PM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I pay the 17 plus 60% of daycare, I carry the insurance, plus have to pay 60% of uncovered medical.. Then you are just like me (except I got tagged with 70%). You should already have an amount spelled out by the court that includes the day care. The ex should have presented the court with her day care expenses when you went before the judge/magistrate. Like I mentioned earlier as an example your 17% = $500 bi-weekly + 60% of child care expenses(let's say that is $15 a day x 5 days a week to you), that equals a payment of $650 bi-weekly + the court has you carry your child on your health insurance, and you pay 60% for out of pocket medical expenses (also known as extra ordinary expenses, usually co-pays and uncovered medical/dental). You can pay the medical based on your EOB's from the insurance company or have the doctor send you a copy of the bill. ETA: Read your CS order, there is a breakdown of what you should pay and what she should pay. |
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Posted: 7/26/2013 7:36:52 PM EDT
[#30]
lawyer up now.. get it in the court system, the court will fuck you but... you will have a paper trail
It was the best 1500.00 I ever spent. After 4 years of giving up 49% of my take home pay,The court after petition found I was the parent that my son should live with. At the age of 5 I was granted custody of my son and waived all child support from my ex. My boy is 17 now and I would not change a thing. Good luck man the system it tilted to the wife
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Posted: 7/26/2013 8:01:39 PM EDT
[#31]
I feel like you have to tell your ex that unless you get documents so that you can both justify and write this off, you've got to take this back to court. Don't be a jerk about it, but just explain to her that you're getting screwed by her choice of day care provider, or that you aren't comfortable with your child being in the custody of an unlicensed, uninsured day care provider who is lying to the government about their taxes. That latter argument will likely be a silver bullet if you go to court - and she/lawyer probably knows it.
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Posted: 7/26/2013 8:07:39 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
lawyer up now.. get it in the court system, the court will fuck you but... you will have a paper trail It was the best 1500.00 I ever spent. After 4 years of giving up 49% of my take home pay,The court after petition found I was the parent that my son should live with. At the age of 5 I was granted custody of my son and waived all child support from my ex. My boy is 17 now and I would not change a thing. Good luck man the system it tilted to the wife good new is our judge went through a nasty divorce, his ex wife took him to the cleaners so he is very pro man.... |
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Posted: 7/26/2013 8:10:07 PM EDT
[#33]
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I feel like you have to tell your ex that unless you get documents so that you can both justify and write this off, you've got to take this back to court. Don't be a jerk about it, but just explain to her that you're getting screwed by her choice of day care provider, or that you aren't comfortable with your child being in the custody of an unlicensed, uninsured day care provider who is lying to the government about their taxes. That latter argument will likely be a silver bullet if you go to court - and she/lawyer probably knows it. I hope so, Im tempted to set up the court date my self... then again I don't want to poke the bees nest... I feel like the man always gets fucked. Last thing I want to do is call her bluff and end up with a 7 2 off suit while she sits there with a full house... |
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Posted: 7/26/2013 8:11:37 PM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I tried, but the daycare lady would not give me her info as she does not claim the income... I need either her ssn or ID number. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Do you 1099 your daycare payments?
Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile I tried, but the daycare lady would not give me her info as she does not claim the income... I need either her ssn or ID number. Sounds to me like the daycare lady needs to be reminded that the IRS always enjoys learning about people who earn income and don't report it...
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Posted: 7/26/2013 8:15:43 PM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Sounds to me like the daycare lady needs to be reminded that the IRS always enjoys learning about people who earn income and don't report it... Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Do you 1099 your daycare payments? Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile I tried, but the daycare lady would not give me her info as she does not claim the income... I need either her ssn or ID number. Sounds to me like the daycare lady needs to be reminded that the IRS always enjoys learning about people who earn income and don't report it...  |
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Posted: 7/26/2013 8:16:12 PM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Sounds to me like the daycare lady needs to be reminded that the IRS always enjoys learning about people who earn income and don't report it... Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Do you 1099 your daycare payments?
Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile I tried, but the daycare lady would not give me her info as she does not claim the income... I need either her ssn or ID number. Sounds to me like the daycare lady needs to be reminded that the IRS always enjoys learning about people who earn income and don't report it... she knows, im hoping she wont give my ex any info.. |
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Posted: 7/26/2013 8:21:57 PM EDT
[#37]
baby sitting can screw a ex wife as well. i had a friend, who was paying $50.00 a week to his ex for several years.( since the day she filed for divorce, so she could work), well, she goes to court two years later, to increase her support because her ex, had a pay raise.
the judge asked what the $50.00 a week was for. she replied child care. when was your last job? TWO YEARS EARLIER. 
judge punched it up on a calculator, and told her, how would you like to pay your ex back this XXXX thousand dollars?? lump sum? she about shit a brick, and asked if it could be taken from her support check $10.00 a week. judge said it could come out, at $100.00 per week. it cut his support from $200.00 a week, to $100 a week. ex wife about died. |
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Posted: 7/26/2013 8:50:19 PM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Does your agreement order a certain timeline for you ex to submit bills? Mine states she has 15 days. Mine is for 30 days here in Oregon. After that she is SOL. |
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Posted: 7/26/2013 8:52:36 PM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I hope so, Im tempted to set up the court date my self... then again I don't want to poke the bees nest... I feel like the man always gets fucked. Last thing I want to do is call her bluff and end up with a 7 2 off suit while she sits there with a full house... Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: I feel like you have to tell your ex that unless you get documents so that you can both justify and write this off, you've got to take this back to court. Don't be a jerk about it, but just explain to her that you're getting screwed by her choice of day care provider, or that you aren't comfortable with your child being in the custody of an unlicensed, uninsured day care provider who is lying to the government about their taxes. That latter argument will likely be a silver bullet if you go to court - and she/lawyer probably knows it. I hope so, Im tempted to set up the court date my self... then again I don't want to poke the bees nest... I feel like the man always gets fucked. Last thing I want to do is call her bluff and end up with a 7 2 off suit while she sits there with a full house... That's what the free consult is about. A good lawyer will tell you if you are poking the hornet's nest. |
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Posted: 7/26/2013 8:54:33 PM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
lawyer fees vrs 700 in daycare... I cant afford either Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Dude I dont want to go deep into it now (TGIF), but I'm a CPA who deals with this a lot, PM me and I will detail a response tomorrow if you want. A CPA who knows family law? I can't count how many of my cases started with a CPA giving legal advice. No offense, but please leave the law to lawyers.
Whats your take on the situation then? Im assuming your a lawyer. You need a NY family law lawyer. Family lawyers are usually specialists. I don't want to give out anything further in case I lead you down the wrong path. But let a lawyer handle it before the state gets involved. lawyer fees vrs 700 in daycare... I cant afford either Dude, you can't afford not to! |
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Posted: 7/26/2013 9:06:16 PM EDT
[#41]
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That's what the free consult is about. A good lawyer will tell you if you are poking the hornet's nest. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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I feel like you have to tell your ex that unless you get documents so that you can both justify and write this off, you've got to take this back to court. Don't be a jerk about it, but just explain to her that you're getting screwed by her choice of day care provider, or that you aren't comfortable with your child being in the custody of an unlicensed, uninsured day care provider who is lying to the government about their taxes. That latter argument will likely be a silver bullet if you go to court - and she/lawyer probably knows it. I hope so, Im tempted to set up the court date my self... then again I don't want to poke the bees nest... I feel like the man always gets fucked. Last thing I want to do is call her bluff and end up with a 7 2 off suit while she sits there with a full house... That's what the free consult is about. A good lawyer will tell you if you are poking the hornet's nest. Agreed, but my feeling (and why I said 'don't be a jerk about it') is that you're going to be fine, because she's -NOT- using a childcare provider. She's paying a babysitter, maybe, but what you have is (and I think you need to specify this) unlicensed, uninsured person marketing their services as a childcare provider, and then not paying taxes on their business. We all know this happens all the time, but in this case, you need to say, effectively, 'I need a bill from a real person in order to pay this'. If you express a willingness to pay, but a concern about (A) what you are paying 'for', and (B) who is caring for your child, you're likely gonna be OK in court. You might end up paying it, but the judge probably isn't going to bend you over because you want a receipt and want to know the qualifications. You approach this as 'Hey, I'll pay for KinderCare, but who is this person who's taking care of my kid, why can't I get certs, and what am I paying for' and the Ex is far more likely to have 'splainin' to do that you are. |
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