'Villages' Retirement Home is Widower's Sex Paradise

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - 'Villages' Retirement Home is Widower's Sex Paradise

Posted: 1/26/2009 11:01:15 AM EDT

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Lady LAKE, Fla. — It's 11 p.m. at the Bourbon Street Bar, and Roselyn's gyrating her hips to the blues band, Sue's sipping a cocktail and flirting with her new boyfriend, and Alan is scanning the crowd for cute girls.

"See those two?" a buxom blonde asks, pointing to an elegant couple at the bar. "They were caught having sex in their golf cart a few weeks ago. It happens a lot!"

Welcome to ground zero for geriatrics who are seriously getting it on.

It's a Thursday night at one of a half-dozen hot spots at the 20,000-acre Central Florida complex called The Villages, the largest gated retirement community in America — and one of the most popular destinations for New Yorkers in their golden years — where the female-to-male ratio runs 10 to 1.

It's a widower's paradise, and the word on the street is that there's a big black market for Viagra.

Though The Villages — which spans three counties with 40,000 homes and more than 70,000 residents — boasts 34 golf courses, nine country clubs, two downtown squares and a slew of restaurants and bars, getting lucky is one of the residents' primary pastimes.

Good news for you guys who thought you might never get laid! Book a ticket to FL

Posted: 1/26/2009 11:02:16 AM EDT

[#1]

I saw this earlier today, and thought to myself.........

This is gonna be on arfcom.

Posted: 1/26/2009 11:07:03 AM EDT

[#2]

Well it is Florida's friendliest hometown!

Posted: 1/26/2009 11:07:38 AM EDT

[#3]

Actually I'm thinking of starting a new business in The Villages, I'll call it "Oak Tree Viagra Delivery."

Posted: 1/26/2009 11:08:40 AM EDT

[#4]

Man, everything does end up on Arfcom sooner or later.

Posted: 1/26/2009 11:09:46 AM EDT

[#5]

Hmm...Is there a minimum age requirement to be a resident?

Maybe I need a vacation home?

I think Sophia Loren and Bo Derek are still hot.

Posted: 1/26/2009 11:10:32 AM EDT

[#6]

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Posted: 1/26/2009 11:18:29 AM EDT

[#7]

Note to self: reassess retirement plan.

Posted: 1/26/2009 11:18:35 AM EDT

[#8]

Best way to get laid is go to a nursing home on bingo night. Especially after their last round of meds.

Posted: 1/26/2009 11:20:30 AM EDT

[#9]

It is that way all over Florida. I have a good friend that lives in Clearwater. He lost his wife two years ago to cancer. He is 64, nice looking, in good health and has a nice pension from Lockheed Martin.

He told me he could go out with a different woman every night if he wanted. He said as soon as the word got around he was availble he got approached many times.

Him and I are part of a group of Lockheed Martin guys in the area that get together for dinner every other month. We are all early retirement guys that worked together for many years. Since Pete lost his wife we have had a dozen dinners. He has brought a different woman each time. He said the women are interest in only two "P" things; pensions and penises.

Posted: 1/26/2009 11:21:00 AM EDT

[#10]

My grandparents live down here. The place is kind of surreal, they all behave like teenagers. You should see the old guys play softball, they go full speed sliding in to base and diving for catches. HIV is a bit of a problem I've been told, the old single guys go get hookers once a month when their checks come in and spend the rest of the time trying to hook up with the local ladies.

Posted: 1/26/2009 11:21:35 AM EDT

[#11]

Woohoo, GILFs.

Posted: 1/26/2009 11:23:44 AM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:

Welcome to ground zero for geriatrics who are seriously getting it on.

What? No pics?

Posted: 1/26/2009 11:25:05 AM EDT

[#13]

These is threads is definitley nots dildos.

Posted: 1/26/2009 11:25:24 AM EDT

[#14]

HIV and other STDs will wipe that place out, if they are not careful.

Posted: 1/26/2009 11:25:51 AM EDT

[#15]

If I wasn't employed and married, I'd move down there and work the scene as a gigolo.

Posted: 1/26/2009 11:26:16 AM EDT

[#16]

Yeah, but STDs are significantly on the rise in the retirement community....

Posted: 1/26/2009 11:26:19 AM EDT

[#17]

I've read that STDs run wild through retirement communities because....

Nevermind, don't want to think about it any more.

Posted: 1/26/2009 11:27:44 AM EDT

[#18]

Tag so I can show this to my wife later, her Dad lives there! You go John W.!!!!! GET SUM!!!

EDIT: I sent her the link, she called me and said her sis had already sent it to her. I told her that her dad is a sick bastard probably trafficking in boner pills. Also told her we are moving there when we get old.

Posted: 1/26/2009 11:33:49 AM EDT

[#19]

You guys know what 70 year old pussy smells like?

Depends!

Posted: 1/26/2009 11:38:36 AM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:
HIV and other STDs will wipe that place out, if they are not careful.

They're all old and retired. What do they care if they get an STD?

Posted: 1/26/2009 11:39:05 AM EDT

[#21]

I have more hope for my generation. Hopefully our internet addiction will allow us to fap to 18-25 year olds on teh interwebs instead.

Posted: 1/26/2009 11:40:22 AM EDT

[#22]

It has LONG been my intention to spend my Winter years at that place. The wife too! We joke all the time that we'll spend all our time running around, once we're that old, who cares? Apparently, it'll work out! Yup, the Villages is where we will be going to die. Oh yeah.

Posted: 1/26/2009 11:47:09 AM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:
You guys know what 70 year old pussy smells like?

Depends!

Posted: 1/26/2009 11:59:57 AM EDT

[#24]

What's less amusing is that there is apparently a national geriatric herpes epidemic from exactly this sort of thing. That too was posted here last year.

Posted: 1/26/2009 12:02:02 PM EDT

[#25]

The ones in the nursing homes that rock back and forth, cradling a baby doll, usually does anal. Or at least that has been my experience.

Posted: 1/26/2009 12:07:11 PM EDT

[#26]

When people develop large enough wrinkles, how can you be sure you're doing it right?

Posted: 1/26/2009 12:09:26 PM EDT

[#27]

I dream about toothless women.

TRG

Posted: 1/26/2009 12:09:59 PM EDT

[#28]

This thread is very, very, hard to masterbate to.

Posted: 1/26/2009 12:16:37 PM EDT

[#29]

Posted: 1/26/2009 12:18:18 PM EDT

[#30]

Quoted:
When people develop large enough wrinkles, how can you be sure you're doing it right?

Roll them in flour and go for the wetter spot.

Posted: 1/26/2009 12:19:44 PM EDT

[#31]

My grandma is there

Posted: 1/26/2009 12:20:39 PM EDT

[#32]

Quoted:

Quoted:
When people develop large enough wrinkles, how can you be sure you're doing it right?

Roll them in flour and go for the wetter spot.

this is a retirement home. there is no wet spot.

the good place is under the diapers.

Posted: 1/26/2009 12:22:12 PM EDT

[#33]

Paging Mister Fielding, Mister Dan Fielding....

Posted: 1/26/2009 12:23:22 PM EDT

[#34]

From another thread because this one needs some imagery

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxxBxvOGXm0

Posted: 1/26/2009 12:27:21 PM EDT

[#35]

Quoted:
My grandma is there

Is she hot?

Posted: 1/26/2009 12:30:04 PM EDT

[#36]

I'm 41 years old. My wife is 47. We have a very hot sex life. I don't see any reason for that to change as we age. So we'd be guilty of this when we got older as well. All you young whipper-snappers gross-out at the old folks... but one day you'll be old too and trust me... you'll still get "dirty" every chance you get!

Posted: 1/26/2009 12:31:19 PM EDT

[#37]

Quoted:
HIV and other STDs will wipe that place out, if they are not careful.

STDs are rampant in the villages. No joke.

Posted: 1/26/2009 12:34:37 PM EDT

[#38]

Quoted:

Quoted:
My grandma is there

Is she hot?

My thoughts exactly!!

Posted: 1/26/2009 12:35:35 PM EDT

[#39]

Quoted:
My grandma is there

What Who is she doing right now?

Posted: 1/26/2009 12:45:28 PM EDT

[#40]

I wonder if they screw like they drive.

Posted: 1/26/2009 12:50:56 PM EDT

[#41]

Quoted:
I wonder if they screw like they drive.

slow and sloppy

Posted: 1/26/2009 12:53:24 PM EDT

[#42]

Quoted:
My grandma is there

Couple of questions:

- Does she have dentures.... PLEASE SAY YES!!!
- How is her hearing?
- Can she walk, it is really not that important really just curious?

Posted: 1/26/2009 12:55:15 PM EDT

[#43]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I wonder if they screw like they drive.

slow and sloppy

Unless there's something wrong [with you], sex gets MUCH better as you age. I may not be able to go as many times at 41 as I could when I was 22. But the trade-off in quantity is WELL worth the quality. NO comparison!

Posted: 1/26/2009 1:17:56 PM EDT

[#44]

Is granny spry?

/badder santa

Posted: 1/26/2009 1:28:02 PM EDT

[#45]

Where do they go at night there, everything is closed by 9pm and the bars that are open are filled with the scumbags that work in the restaurants.

My parents live down there and my friend and I went out drinking two nights in a row down there and no old ladis hit on us just 20 something single mom waitresses.