The back-door sport]www.pittsburghlive.com/x/style/columnists/meinzer/s_254774.html]The back-door sport
Friday, September 24, 2004
Dear Sex in the Afternoon: I need a woman's opinion, I guess you could say. I'd like to try anal sex with my girlfriend, but I'm afraid if I bring it up, she'll think I'm (gay). Plus, I don't want to hurt her. I've seen people do it in porno movies, and it looks really hot. I'm not gay or anything. I just want to experiment. How can I talk to her about this without hurting our relationship? We have a pretty good thing going. Also, how do I make sure I don't hurt her?
Dear Guy: When done correctly, anal sex can indeed be super-hot. When done incorrectly, your girlfriend gets the right to kick you square in your sack. So I'm glad you asked for some advice.
The most important word in this column, my friend? LUBE. You must use lubrication. More lube than that. No, seriously ... more. Slop it all over the place. You cannot use too much.
Make sure that the lube you use is water-based, because oil degrades latex and will reduce your condom to tatters. K-Y Jelly, Astroglide and Probe are all good, water-based lubes you can buy in the drug store.
Make sure that the condom you use for her anus never touches her vagina. If you switch it up, you have to use a new condom. Otherwise, you run the risk of infection, and that's just not sexy.
So you've got a gallon of lube and a bunch of condoms -- now what?
It's unlikely that your girlfriend will have any concerns about your sexual orientation. She's your girlfriend, after all, and knows you like getting it on with her. And women know that anal sex is like the Holy Grail of hetero sex. We're on to you.
Tell her you'd love to try it, you think it could be hot for both of you as something additional, not as a replacement to vanilla sex. She might be scared that it'll hurt. Tell her about all the lube you bought.
Go slowly at first -- this means fingers, a few at a time, hugely lubed. Once you can comfortably -- for her -- fit in about four, you may proceed with Mr. Happy. Slowly. With lube.
Thrust slowly at first. It'll feel really weird for her at first. So be encouraging, talking to her throughout. Pay attention to her breasts and clitoris, too. When you bring her to orgasm, you'll see fireworks like nothing else.
Remember, she's the one who's going to have a sore bum later (did you remember the lube?), so she's the boss. If she says stop, stop. Good luck.