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10/20/2017 1:01:18 AM
9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 8/17/2005 5:58:00 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/17/2005 5:58:20 PM EDT by DK-Prof]
I'm not making it up!

She had an electrical contractor over today to install some canned lights in her house - but she had bought these fancy-schmancy 4-inch canned lights herself, with integral transformers (or something like that), that worked really well for the application she need. Apparently, they were quite unusual, and really cool, and the contractor thought they were awesome.

So, fortunately I did not need to drive 350 miles to kick his ass.

Link Posted: 8/17/2005 5:59:25 PM EDT
You know you guys should really move in together.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 5:59:33 PM EDT

Originally Posted By DK-Prof:
I'm not making it up!

She had an electrical contractor over today to install some canned lights in her house - but she had bought these fancy-schmancy 4-inch canned lights herself, with integral transformers (or something like that), that worked really well for the application she need. Apparently, they were quite unusual, and really cool, and the contractor thought they were awesome.

So, fortunately I did not need to drive 350 miles to kick his ass.




Good thing, I bet an asskicking is hell in those wooden shoes.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 6:13:25 PM EDT

Originally Posted By vanilla_gorilla:

Originally Posted By DK-Prof:
I'm not making it up!

She had an electrical contractor over today to install some canned lights in her house - but she had bought these fancy-schmancy 4-inch canned lights herself, with integral transformers (or something like that), that worked really well for the application she need. Apparently, they were quite unusual, and really cool, and the contractor thought they were awesome.

So, fortunately I did not need to drive 350 miles to kick his ass.




Good thing, I bet an asskicking is hell in those wooden shoes.



Splinters man!

Link Posted: 8/17/2005 6:17:39 PM EDT
When did you get married? I guess I don't pay attention too well...
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 6:18:56 PM EDT
Why shouldn't he love them, don't you?

Vulcan94
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 6:20:53 PM EDT
You two don't live with each other?
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 6:23:00 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Dru:
You two don't live with each other?



dude dont ask, i asked the same thing the other day in another one of his wifes other house thing.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 6:27:08 PM EDT
Cans....are those above the belly button, or below???

Link Posted: 8/17/2005 6:29:56 PM EDT
What did he think of her fridge?
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 6:29:57 PM EDT
Why canned lights when you can have canned sunshine ?
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 6:31:25 PM EDT

Originally Posted By garandman:
Cans....are those above the belly button, or below???




Good point!!!

BTW - just in case you missed it or I forgot, Best Wishes to you both on the marriage!!!
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 6:32:33 PM EDT

Originally Posted By southeast_scrounger:
What did he think of her fridge?


Careful now....


Link Posted: 8/17/2005 6:33:28 PM EDT
You used the word cans in (not necessarily) polite conversation. Congratulations DK_Prof! You're nolonger Dutch! Welcome to being an American.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 6:34:48 PM EDT

Originally Posted By parshooter:

Originally Posted By southeast_scrounger:
What did he think of her fridge?


Careful now....





I guess I need to watch more TV or something. All these sexual references are lost on me.

Link Posted: 8/17/2005 6:36:27 PM EDT

Originally Posted By vanilla_gorilla:

Originally Posted By DK-Prof:
I'm not making it up!

She had an electrical contractor over today to install some canned lights in her house - but she had bought these fancy-schmancy 4-inch canned lights herself, with integral transformers (or something like that), that worked really well for the application she need. Apparently, they were quite unusual, and really cool, and the contractor thought they were awesome.

So, fortunately I did not need to drive 350 miles to kick his ass.




Good thing, I bet an asskicking is hell in those wooden shoes.



Plus, you can't sneak worth shit wearing those shoe .... clop, clop, clop.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 6:42:38 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/17/2005 6:50:14 PM EDT by Lockedon]

Originally Posted By jkstexas2001:

Originally Posted By vanilla_gorilla:

Originally Posted By DK-Prof:
I'm not making it up!

She had an electrical contractor over today to install some canned lights in her house - but she had bought these fancy-schmancy 4-inch canned lights herself, with integral transformers (or something like that), that worked really well for the application she need. Apparently, they were quite unusual, and really cool, and the contractor thought they were awesome.

So, fortunately I did not need to drive 350 miles to kick his ass.




Good thing, I bet an asskicking is hell in those wooden shoes.





Plus, you can't sneak worth shit wearing those shoe .... clop, clop, clop.




Link Posted: 8/17/2005 6:45:06 PM EDT
As long as he didnt say he was going to put his bike in her trunk
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 6:47:21 PM EDT
I told my sister inlaw's sister that I loved her CONES. How big they were, etc....


She had a basket of pine cones, which she thought I was talking about.


Everyone in the room knew what I was talking about, except her.


She's blond.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 6:49:37 PM EDT

Originally Posted By fight4yourrights:
I told my sister inlaw's sister that I loved her CONES. How big they were, etc....


She had a basket of pine cones, which she thought I was talking about.


Everyone in the room knew what I was talking about, except her.


She's blond.



OK, were needing an English to horn dog translation key here....

Link Posted: 8/17/2005 6:50:42 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/17/2005 6:50:58 PM EDT by fight4yourrights]

Originally Posted By garandman:

Originally Posted By fight4yourrights:
I told my sister inlaw's sister that I loved her CONES. How big they were, etc....


She had a basket of pine cones, which she thought I was talking about.


Everyone in the room knew what I was talking about, except her.


She's blond.



OK, were needing an English to horn dog translation key here....




Cones = boobs

never heard that one before?
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 6:50:59 PM EDT
Some of us electrical contractors have guns too...

The white light you get from low voltage (12volt)"can lights" is great. Very bright when the high beam is on

get your self a good dimmer for the cans for real. Lutron makes good ones for low voltage
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 6:51:19 PM EDT

Originally Posted By garandman:

Originally Posted By parshooter:

Originally Posted By southeast_scrounger:
What did he think of her fridge?


Careful now....





I guess I need to watch more TV or something. All these sexual references are lost on me.




You're old. We'll get you through the language until you rot away at your computer though.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 6:54:39 PM EDT

Originally Posted By fight4yourrights:
Cones = boobs

never heard that one before?



Not so much....

Yabows, devil pillows, hooters, sweater puppies, zoomers, but not cones.

Cones are found at Baskin Robbins or placed on the side of the road by the DOT.



Link Posted: 8/17/2005 6:56:16 PM EDT

Originally Posted By vanilla_gorilla:

You're old. We'll get you through the language until you rot away at your computer though.



Us old farts are MUCH more direct and unambiguous about our sexual references.

Life's too short to be playin' games.

Link Posted: 8/17/2005 7:05:11 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/17/2005 7:05:40 PM EDT by FLAL1A]

Originally Posted By jkstexas2001:

Plus, you can't sneak worth shit wearing those shoe .... clop, clop, clop.



Well, remember, Denmark used to known as "the Lowlands" because of the at or below sea level elevation of much of the country. So I would guess that they work fine for clandestine ops over there, what with the muddy ground and all.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 7:08:52 PM EDT

Originally Posted By garandman:

Originally Posted By fight4yourrights:
Cones = boobs

never heard that one before?



Not so much....

Yabows, devil pillows, hooters, sweater puppies, zoomers, but not cones.

Cones are found at Baskin Robbins or placed on the side of the road by the DOT.






JOE BOB'S CANONICAL "HOOTER" LIST

JOE BOB'S CANONICAL "HOOTER" LIST

The following is the world's most complete list of synonyms
for the female breast. Got one that's not listed here?
Drop an email to Joe Bob at joebob@joebobbriggs.com
and we'll get it added.
-----------------

A-B-Cs
Abbott and Costello
Airbags
Alaskas
All Day Suckers
Alpha Betas
Alps
Amazons
Ample Supply
Amortisseurs (shock absorbers)
An Bord Bainne (Irish-language; literally, "The Milk Board", The organisation
which oversees the dairy industry in Ireland)
Angel Cakes
Annette Funicellos
Ant Bites
Appalachians
Apple Dumpling Shops
Apples
Arthritis
ArtichokesAssets
Atom Smashers
Attic
Aurorae Australis
Avant-postes (Outposts)
Avant-scenes (Apron - of stage)
Avanteges -Advantages
Avocados
Awning
B-52's
Babaloos
Backbreakers
Baby Baits
Baby Feeders
Baby's Best Friend
Baby's Dinners
Baby's Public House
Babylons
Back Rubbers
Bag O' Groceries
Baggies
Baggos
Bags
Bag­ungas
Bait and Lure
Balboas
Balcon - Balcony
Balloons
Baloobas
Banana Squeezers
Bangers
Bangles
Banzis
­Baps
Barbeaus
Barnacles
Barnes and Noble
Basketballs
Bassoons
BatonsBaubles
Bazongas
Bazonkers
Bazookas­
Bazoomas
Bazooms
Bazoombas
Beaco­ns
Beanbags
Beautiful Eyes
Bebops
Bedtime Beach Balls
Beestings
Begonias
BejonkersBen and Jerry
Bert and Ernie
Berthas
Best Friends
Betty Boops
Bettys
BiBs (bigger is better!)
Big Bazooties
Big Berthasa
Big Boppers
Big Brown Eyes
Big Foot Radials
Big Sacks of Jugs
Bigguns
Bikini Stuffers
Billibongs
Bio Domes
Biscuits
Bits Of Tid
Bizcochos
BJ & the Bear
Blenders
Blimps
Blinkers
Blockbusters
Blouse Bunnies
Blue Ridges
Bob & Doug
Bob & Ray
Bob & Tom
Bobolas
Bobos
Bodacious Ta-Tas
Boingos
Boites-a-Lait (Milk Bottles)
Bolshy Groodies
Bombastic Mams
Bombers
Bombshells
Bonbons
B­ongos
Bonkers
Bonnie and Clyde
Boobage
Boobalicious
BoobersBoobies
Boobs
Bookends
BookrestsBoomers
Boom-Boom Rockets
Boons
Boops
Boosters
Boso­m Buddies
Bosoms
Boston Wobbelers, The
Bottle
Boulderados
Boulders
B­ouncers
Bouncing Beauties
Bouncing Bettys
Boy Bait
Bozos
The Boys
Bra Buddies
Bra Busters
Bra Fight
Bra Stuffers
Brad Pitts
Brail for "Suck me"
Brain Busters
Braunsteins
Breakfast Tray
Breast Friends
Breastages
Breastaurant, The
Breasteses
Breastest Friends
Breasticles
Breasts
Breed Winners
Brisket
Bristol Cities
Bristols
BRitney's Assets (BRAs)
Bronskis
Brown Speckled Pups
Brownies
Brustwarzes
Bubbas
­Bubbies
Bubble Cups
Buckets
Buds
Bugs
Bulbs
Bulges
Bullets
Bumper Cars
Bumper Guards
Bumpers
Bumps
Bumps In The Night
Buoys
Bushell-Bubbies
Bust
Busters
Busties
Butt­er Bags
Butterballs
Buttons
CaboodlesCachongas
Cadillac Bumpers
Cafe La Mama
Calabazas
Cams
Cannisters
Ca­nnon Balls
Cannons
Cans
Cantaloupes
Ca­pitol Domes
Car Waxers
Carachas
Cargo
CaricaturesCarumbas
Casaba Melons
Casabas
Castinets
Castles in the Air
Cat Heads
Cha-Chas
Chachabingos
Chalky Cliffs
Chalupas
Charlie's Angels
Charlies
Chaw
Cheek Warmers
Cherry Cakes
Cherry Caps
Chest Hams
Chest Meat
Chest Ornaments
Chesterfields
Chesticles
C­hestnuts
Chet-Flasted
Chi-Chi's
Chickadees
Chickaroonies
Chihu­ahuas
Chimichangas
Chimpanzees
Chiqu­itas
Chock Blocks
Chockey-nips
Choochoos
Chombalonies
ChubsChumbawumbas
Chungas
Chopons
Cinch Sacks
Circus Tents
Claire-de-Lunes
Clams
Cleft Udders
Coconuts
Cold Weather Indicators
Combreastables
Commode Cloggers
Concitas
Cones
Congas
Conundrums
Corkers
Coun­tess and The Lady
Cowabungas
Coxcombs
CreamersCream Pies
Creampuffs
Cruise Missles
Cubs
Cuddly Dudes
Cuhuangas
Cupcakes
Cup-Runneth-Over Cups
Curves
Cushions
Da-Das
Dactylic Delights
Dagmars
Dairy
Dairy Makers
Dairy Pillows
Dandies
Danglers
Dangling Participles
Danny Devitos
Davey & Goliath
David Duchovneys
Dead Heat in a Zepplin Race
Demigods
Dennis DeYoungs
Desperados
Dessert
Deux Oeufs Sur La Plat
Devil's Dumplings
Diddies
Ding Dongs
Dingers
Dinghies
Dinglebobbers
Dingos
Dinners
Dir­igibles
Dirty Pillows
Distributor Caps
Dolly Partons
Domes
Donkey's Ears
Doodads
Doorbells
Doorknobs
Doozers
Doozies
Dopplegangers
Do­uble Dribbles
Double Ds
Double Trouble
Double Whammies
Doudounes
Doughboys
Drooper­s
Dual Air Bags
Dual Floppies
Duckies
Duece And A Halves
Dueling Banjos
Dugs
Du monde au balcon (French; size-dependant; ; literally, "to have the world on one's balcony")
Dum Dums
Dumbells
Dumplins
Dunes
Dura­nte's
The Dutch Alps
Dynamic Duo
Dynamite
Earmuffs
Eartha Kitts
Eclairs
Eggplants
Eggs
Egos­
Eigers
Eisenhowers
El Primo Torpedos
Elephants
Ellby and Arb
Emerson Bigguns
Emmersomes
Empress and the Queen
Enchiladas
Epcots
Epees
Eri­c and Lyle
Ericas
Everest and Kilimanjaro
Ewers
Exegeses
Explosive­s
Eyes
Fahrphegnuggens
Fahrvergnugen­s
Feedbags
First Base
Flapjacks
Flappers
Flat Plains
Flesh Bulbs
Flesh Fillets
Flesh Fujis
Flesh Melons
Floaters
Floats
FlopdoodlesFloppers
Flotation Devices
Flotteurs - Floaters
Flowers of Attitude
Fly Swatters
Fly Tetas
Fog Lights
Footlights
Fred and Ethyl
Fried Eggs
Friends
Front Bum
Front Porch
Frontal Elevation
Frontal Female Water Wings
Frosties
Frybabies
FujiyamasFun Bags
Fun Domes
Funnel Cakes
Gagas
Gajoombas
Garbage Bags
Garbonzas
Garbos
Gazingas
Ga­zelles
Gazongas
Gazoombas
GeminisGenaustahagens
George and Gracie
Geraldos
The Girls
Girlie Bumpers
Girlthangs
Glad Bags
The Gland Canyon
Glands
Glandular Endowments
Glass Cutters
Globelets
Globes
Glockenspei­ls
Gnugens
Gob Stoppers
God's Greatest Creation
God's Milk Bottles
Godzillas
Golden Bozos
Golden Domes
Gongas
Goobers
Good Bits
Goodies
Goodyears
Goombas
Go­onas
Grab-Ems
Grand Jeans (French)
Grand Tetons
Grapefruits
Gravity Magnets
Great Galloping Galoogies
Great Wobblin' Wazoobies
Grillwork
Groodies
Groupie­s
Guavas
Gubiczas
Gumballs
Gumdro­ps
Gunboats
The Guys
Hakuna Mutatas
Hallelujahs
Hammocks For Two
Handfuls
Handle Bars
Handholds
Handsets
Hand Warmers
Hangers
Hanging Cucumbers
Happy Bags
Happy Pillows
Hat Hangers
Headbangers
Headers
Head Lamps
Headlights
Headphones
Headsets­
Heavers
Heavy Duty Honeydews
Hefties
Heifers
Helicopter­s
Hematomas
Hemispheres
Hercules and Achilles
Hershey Kisses
High Beams
High Pockets
High-Rise Weather Balloons
Hills
Hindenburgs
Hinderbin­ders
Hippos
Ho Hos
Hobey J's
Hogans
Holmes & Watson
Home Sweet Home
Honey Dews
Honkers
Honorarium
Hood Ornaments
Hoohas
Hoosiers
HootersHoovers
Hoppy and Bob
Horns
Horrorshow Bolshy Groodies
Hot Air Balloons
Hot Commodities
Hotcakes
Hottentots
Houn­ds, The
House of Lords
How's Your Father's
Howitzers
Howlers
Hubba Bubbas
Hubcaps
Huffies
Hug Bumps
Huge Maguffies
Huggy Bears
Hugh Jooters
Human Tetherballs
Humdingers
Humonganoids
­Humpin' Hooters
Hurricane Lanterns
Hush Puppies
Hypnotizers
ICBMs
Ice Caps
Ice Cubes
Idahos
Igloos
Il y a du beau monde (said of a genreously endowed woman - literally "there are a lot of people there")
Implants
Inflatables
Ios
Ip­sedixits
Isaac Newtons
Itty Bits
Itty Bitty Titties
I-Want-Thems
Jackanapes
Jaggers
JahoobiesJambalayas
Janet Jacksons
Jawbreakers
Jelly Bells
Jemimas
Jerry-Bilts
Jersey Cities
Jets
Jibs
Jigglies
Jiggler­s
Jiggly Wigglies
Jobbers
John And Paul
Jordans
Jubblies
JuggernautsJuggies
Jugglies
Jugs
Jukes
Jumb­lies
Jumbo Chickpeas
Jumbos
K-12 & Everest
Kabombas
Kabukis
Kagemushas<­BR>Kajoobies
Kalamazoos
KanchenjungasKarl Marx and Joseph Stalin
Kawangas
Kayaks
Kazongas
K­azoos
Keepers
Kettle Drums
Kiwis
Knicknacks
Knobbers
K­nobs
Knockers
Kongas
Kukla, Fran, and Ollie
Kumquats
La Breas
Lactating lungs
Lactic Lobes
Lacto Grenades
Lactoids
Lampoons
Launch Codes
Laurel and Hardy
Lean-To's
Lemons
Lethal Weapons
Leverage
Lewinskis
Lewis and Witties
Lightbulbs
Lindas
Lip Fodder
Little Duckies
Llamas
Load Stones
Loaves
Loaves fo love
Loblollies
Locklears
Long Range Tanks
Lollies
Lollipops
Lollos
Lo­okers
Lost Sheep
Love Handles
Love Jugs
Love Lumps
Love Melons
Love Muffins
Lovlies
Low Riders
Lucky Charms
Lug 'Ems
Lulas
Lulus
Lung Covers
Lung Hammers
Lung Nuts
Lungwarts
Luscious Lip-smackers
Macaroos
Mackerels
Madonnas­
Magnates
Magnets
Magnificent Pontoons of Love
Magookins
Maguppies
MaharanisMahatmas
Majestic Mountains
Major Dongs
Major League Mammaries
Major Motion Picture Material
Male-Madness Inducers
Mamacitas
Mambazos
Mammalia­n Protruberances
Mammarambas
MammariesMammary Lane
Mammies
Mams
Man Magnets
Man Puppets
Mangos
ManNIPulators
Mappemo­nde (those old fashioned maps showing two hemispheres)
Maracas
Marangos
Marasc­hinos
Margaritas
Marimbas
Marshmallo­ws
Marx Brothers
Massage Pillows
Matching Headlights
Mau Maus
Mausers
Mazongas
McDLT's
McF­loppities
Meatbags
Meatballs
Meat Loaves
Melon Patch
Melones
Melons
Mesmerizers
­Mickey and Minnie
Mike and Ike
Milk Bags
Milk Bottles
Milk Cans
Milk Duds
Milk Fountains
Milk Jugs
Milk Makers
Milk Melons
Milk Shakes
Milk Towers
Milk Wagons
Milky Sacks of Calcium
Milky Moos
Minarets
Minesweepers
Minneapol­is and St. Paul
Minnebagos
Missles
Mobutus
M­ogambas
Mojuba's, The
Mole Hills
Mommas
Mondos
Moneymakers
M­onroes
Montezumas
Moo Moos
Moogies
Moon Pies
Moonlight Sonatas
Mosobs
Mosquito Bites
Mother Loads
Mounds
Mounds of Jello
Moutain Peaks
Mountains
Mount Fujies
Mouthwatering Scoops Of Flesh
Moveable Feast
Muchachas
Muffins
MulligansMurphies
Mushmelons
Mutt and Jeff
Nancies
National Geographics
Nature's Founts
Nature's Little Thermometers
Naughty Bits
Nay-Nays
Nectarines
Neeners
Nenes
Nev­ernevers
Nibards
Niblets
Nibs
Nic­e Pair of thru'pennies
Nice Set Of Hands
Nice-uns
Nichons
Nin-Nins
Ninnies
Ninny Jugs
Ninth and Tenth Wonders of the World
Nippeloons
Nippelos
NippersNipples
Nipple-Caddies
Nipple Sundaes
Nips
Nodes
Nodules
Noochi­es
Noogies
Norks
Northern Neon-Beamed Headlights
Nortons
Nose Cones
Nubbins
Nuclear Wareheads
Nukes
Num-Nums
Obelisks
Oblations
Oboes
Off-On Volume & the Channel Selector
Omigods
Oompas
Oppenheimers­
Oracles
Oranges
Orbs
Ostrich Eggs
Ottomans
Overhang
Overstuffed Cushions
Overstuffed Pillows
Owls
Padding
Paducahs
Pag­odas
Pair
Pair of Problems
Palms
Palookas
Pamelas
P­ancakes
Papayas
Parabolas
Pare-chocs (bumpers)
Parrots
Part Numbers, The
Party Bags
Party Hats
Party Passes
Pastor Baiters
Pastries
Paw Patties
Peaches
Peacocks
Peakers
­Peaks
Pears
Pebbles
Pects
Peepers­
Pencil Erasers
Pendulums
Penis Pillows
Perkys
Perpetual Entertainment
Personal Flotation Devices
Pert and Perkies
Pete and Repeat
Pia Zadoras
Pick & Peck
Pies
Pike's Peaks
Pillows
Pimples
Ping Pings
Pink-nosed Puppies
Pinkies
Pinky & Perky
Pips
Pirate's Dream
Planetoids
Pleasant Eminences
Pleasure Mounds
Pleasure Peaks
Plentifuls
Plucktifuls
PlumsPneumatic Bliss
Pods of Lust
Pointer Sisters
Pointers
Points
Pokers
Po­lygons
Pom Poms
Ponderosas
Pontoons
Poppinjays<­BR>Portable Typewriters
Potatoes
Presidential Pair
Pretty-Pretties
Pride And Joy
Professors
Proof That God Exists
Protuberances
PT Boats
Pumpkin Patch
Pumpkins
Pumps
Puppies
Push­matahas
Push-Ups
Pyramids
Quakers
Quantities
Q­uantum Heaps
Quasars
Quit-its
Quonset Huts
Rack
Rackage
Radar Domes
Radials
Ragtag and Bobtail
Raisins
Ralph Waldo Emersons
Rangoons
Raquels
Raspberry Ripples
Reasons To Live
Red Carpets
Rib Balloons
Rib Bumpers
Rib Cushions
Rib Flaps
Rivets
Roberts
Rockets
Rockies
RomansRoploplos
Rosebuds
Rositas
Rotors<­BR>Rotundas Grandes
Roundabouts
Roundies
Roundtr­ippers
Ruby Reds
Rudolphs
Running Lights
Saggers
Saggies
SalamandersSaline bags
The Saline Solutions
Salt & Pepper
Sams
Sandbags
Sapphos
Satellites
Schmeebs on those Nortons
Scones
Scoops
Scud Missles
Scylla & Charybdis
Searchlights
Set
Shabba-dos
Shakers
Shebas
Shelf
Shermans­
Sherman Tanks
Shimmies
Shirt Potatoes
Shirt Stuffers
Shivarees
Shlobes
Shmozobs<­BR>Shock Absorbers
Shock And Awe
Shoe Buffers
Show Stoppers
Sierra Madres
Sigfried And Roy
Silicone Earmuffs
Silicone Sisters
Silicones
Silicone Suprise Supremes
Silos
Silver Stars
Sir Galahad and King Arthur
Skeeter Bites
Skeeter Chews
Skin Sacks
Ski Slopes to Heaven
Skooners
Slappers
Smart Set
Smith and Wesson
Smoothies
Smuggling Raisins
Snack Rack
Snorbs
Snow Cones
Snow Tires
Snowy Prominences
Snuggle Pups
Sockdollagers
Sopapillas
Space Aliens
Spark Plugs
Specials
Speed Bags
Speed Bumps
Spheres
Spic And Span
Splazoingas
Spongecakes
Spontan­eous Combustibles
Spuds
Sqaushers
Squaw Valley
Squeeky Toys
Stacks
Stanley and Livingston
Stash in the Dash
Stocking Stuffers
Strap Hangers
Stratus-spheres
Stress Busters
Stripper's ATMs
Stuff
Stuffing
Stun Grenades
Sturgeons
Sucklebags
Sugar Cubes
Sugar Plums
Super Droopers
Supernauts
Sultanas
Sweater Bumpers
Sweater Kittens
Sweater Meat
Sweater Melons
Sweater Mittens
Sweater Puffs
Sweater Puppets
Sweater Puppies
Sweater Stuffers
Sweat Glands
Sweetrolls
Tahitis
TalentsTallapoosas
Tamales
Tambourines
Tan­go & Cash
Tankers
Tartugas
Tassles
Tas­tykakes
Tatas
Tater Tots
Tats
Tatties
Tattlers
Teacup­s
Teatolas
Teats
Tee Pees
Teetees
Teeters
Tentacles
Te­rrible Twos
Terrible Twosome
Tetas
Tetons
Thangs
Thank Yous
Thelma And Louise
Thingamajigs
Thingamajugs
Thi­ngies
Thousand Pities
Thwackers
Ticket Punchers
Ticket Sellers
Tidbits
Tiddly-Winks
Tig Bitties
Tig Ol' Bitties
Time Zones
Tippers
Tishomingos
TitbitsTits
Titskis
Titter
Titties
TNT'­s
Tobacco Pouch
Tomatoes
Tom-Toms
Tom & Jerry
Tongue Depressors
Tongue Twisters
Tonsils
Toolbags
TootersTootsie Pops
Top Bollocks (or Top Bollox)
Tora Boras
Torpedoes
Tortillas
TortugasTotos
Totties
Towers
Towering Twin Peaks
Town and Cities
Tracts of Land
Tribbles
Turaluras
Twangers
­Tweakers
Tweedledee & Tweedledum
Tweekers
Twin Cities
Twin Peaks
The Twins
Two Eggs, Sunny Side Up
Two Puppies in a Burlap Bag
Twofers
Tympanies
Type 2s
Uberalles
U-Boats
Udders
Uhurus
Umbrellas
Uml­auts
Upper Karoos
Upper Ten
USDAs
Utopia
Van Dorens
Victrolas
Volcanoes
Volksvani­ns
Volumes
Volvos
Voos
Wa-wa pedals
Wahwahs
Waldos
Wallace & Grommit
Wally and the Beav
Wally Wispoppers
Walters
Wanna Bs
Warheads
Warts
Water Balloons
Watermelons
Weapons
Wedding Tackle
Whammers
Whapoons
Whatchacall­ems
Whim Whams
White Rabbits
Whole and 2%
Whoopies
Whoppers
Wibbly Wobbly Wonders
Widebodies
Wigglers
Wigwams
Willie & Waylon
Wilsons
Windbags
Windjammers<­BR>Windmills
Windshield Wipers
Winnebagos
Wipers
WobblersWomanhood
Wonder Twins
Wonderments
Wongas
Wonkas
W­oodymakers
Woofers
Wookies
Wopbopalo­obops
Workbench
World Trade Centers
Wows
Wreaths
Xenoliths
X-Rateds
X-Ray Glasses
Xylophones
Yabbos
Yabos
Y­ahoos
Yams
Yayas
Yazoos
Yeast Dough
Ying Yangs
Yippie & Yahoo
Yippies
Yolandas
Yomamas
Yo­wsers
Yubees
Yum-Yums
Yummies
Yugos
Z-bras
Zagger & Evans
Zeppelins
Ziggurats
Ziggys
­Zingers
Zippys
Zoom Zooms
Zoombas
Zoomers
Zwiebacks
Z­Z Tops
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 7:13:27 PM EDT

Originally Posted By garandman:

Originally Posted By vanilla_gorilla:

You're old. We'll get you through the language until you rot away at your computer though.



Us old farts are MUCH more direct and unambiguous about our sexual references.

Life's too short to be playin' games.




I tried being direct and unambiguous about sex one time.

Still have a loose tooth from that one.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 7:14:28 PM EDT
You guys got married, but dont live together?

Huh?
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 7:19:05 PM EDT
You getting used to saying, "My wife" yet?

Just married joke.V

Conversation overheard in the grocery store between two nubian goddesses.
First goddess, "I hear you got married last week, is it so"?

Second goddess, "Sista, it's so so I can't hardly touch it with a powder puff"!
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 7:23:14 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Zippy_The_Wonderdog:
You guys got married, but dont live together?

Huh?



+1

What did I miss?

Link Posted: 8/17/2005 7:30:35 PM EDT
So I guess I was the only one who thought this was about silencers....
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 7:35:35 PM EDT
"i like her bangs"
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 7:40:42 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/17/2005 7:41:23 PM EDT by DK-Prof]

Originally Posted By DrMark:

Originally Posted By Zippy_The_Wonderdog:
You guys got married, but dont live together?

Huh?



+1

What did I miss?





It's a career thing. It's not that we don't WANT to live together, it's that not a lot of research universities have two openings in the same department in any given year PLUS we would have to be the two best qualified people in the country. So we are both going to play out our tenure clocks at our current universities, and see what happens when we both go up for tenure in the next year and a half.
Either way - it will almost certainly be resolved within the next two years - and then hopefully we'll end up in the same city. If either of us gets tenure at our respective universities, then we will end up in the same city - we just don't know which city it will be.

But after living in separate cities for seven out of the last nine years, you get used to it.

Oh - and all you jokers. You're ALL on my list!

ETA: And an ass-kicking with clogs WOULD hurt!
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 7:50:03 PM EDT

Originally Posted By DK-Prof:

It's a career thing. It's not that we don't WANT to live together, it's that not a lot of research universities have two openings in the same department in any given year PLUS we would have to be the two best qualified people in the country. So we are both going to play out our tenure clocks at our current universities, and see what happens when we both go up for tenure in the next year and a half.
Either way - it will almost certainly be resolved within the next two years - and then hopefully we'll end up in the same city. If either of us gets tenure at our respective universities, then we will end up in the same city - we just don't know which city it will be.

But after living in separate cities for seven out of the last nine years, you get used to it.



Hey, it's always fresh, exciting, and joyous to see each other. There are worse ways to preserve a relationship.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 7:54:03 PM EDT

Originally Posted By FLAL1A:

Originally Posted By DK-Prof:

It's a career thing. It's not that we don't WANT to live together, it's that not a lot of research universities have two openings in the same department in any given year PLUS we would have to be the two best qualified people in the country. So we are both going to play out our tenure clocks at our current universities, and see what happens when we both go up for tenure in the next year and a half.
Either way - it will almost certainly be resolved within the next two years - and then hopefully we'll end up in the same city. If either of us gets tenure at our respective universities, then we will end up in the same city - we just don't know which city it will be.

But after living in separate cities for seven out of the last nine years, you get used to it.



Hey, it's always fresh, exciting, and joyous to see each other. There are worse ways to preserve a relationship.



It IS getting a little old, but it's also nice (in a way).

We usually get to see each other every three week (for a long weekend), and we hang out for much of the summer in one city or the other, and we go to a lot of conferences (and vacation) together. Plus, I get to live exactly the way I want, with my house exactly the way I want. Wake up when I want, eat when and what I want, watch TV all I want, stay up as late as I want, etc.

It's a half-empty, half-full cup kind of deal.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 7:58:12 PM EDT

Originally Posted By DriftPunch:
When did you get married? I guess I don't pay attention too well...





Almost 3 week ago. Pictures and everything - over in the girley forum:

www.ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=71&t=378769
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 7:58:29 PM EDT

Originally Posted By DK-Prof:

Originally Posted By DrMark:

Originally Posted By Zippy_The_Wonderdog:
You guys got married, but dont live together?

Huh?



+1

What did I miss?





It's a career thing. It's not that we don't WANT to live together, it's that not a lot of research universities have two openings in the same department in any given year PLUS we would have to be the two best qualified people in the country. So we are both going to play out our tenure clocks at our current universities, and see what happens when we both go up for tenure in the next year and a half.
Either way - it will almost certainly be resolved within the next two years - and then hopefully we'll end up in the same city. If either of us gets tenure at our respective universities, then we will end up in the same city - we just don't know which city it will be.

But after living in separate cities for seven out of the last nine years, you get used to it.

Oh - and all you jokers. You're ALL on my list!

ETA: And an ass-kicking with clogs WOULD hurt!




Oh! I'm soooo scared! Even I can outrun someone is wooden shoes!



Vulcan94
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 8:10:09 PM EDT
Gee...in my line of work I'd have thought headphones.

cans
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 8:15:34 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Vulcan94:

Oh! I'm soooo scared! Even I can outrun someone is wooden shoes!
Vulcan94




Yeah, but eventually you'll trip over a strategically-placed 200 lb. wheel of Gouda, and then your goose is cooked. I understand that was DK-Prof's granddad's contribution to the war effort during WWII: he was a member of the intrepid "Edamkommando," helping to install Gouda barricades and Schmearcase pits along the "Leidenline" between Venlo and Tegelen on the border with Germany. Rommel is said to have remarked "Auf Maginot, auflachen; auf Leiden erschrecken." (At the Maginot [line], we laugh; at the Leiden [line] we tremble.) Thanks to the efforts of the Edamkommando, Holland's windmills were preserved for the Allies' use in the post-Normandy invasion and occupation of Europe.
Link Posted: 8/18/2005 7:47:23 AM EDT

Originally Posted By FLAL1A:

Originally Posted By Vulcan94:

Oh! I'm soooo scared! Even I can outrun someone is wooden shoes!
Vulcan94




Yeah, but eventually you'll trip over a strategically-placed 200 lb. wheel of Gouda, and then your goose is cooked. I understand that was DK-Prof's granddad's contribution to the war effort during WWII: he was a member of the intrepid "Edamkommando," helping to install Gouda barricades and Schmearcase pits along the "Leidenline" between Venlo and Tegelen on the border with Germany. Rommel is said to have remarked "Auf Maginot, auflachen; auf Leiden erschrecken." (At the Maginot [line], we laugh; at the Leiden [line] we tremble.) Thanks to the efforts of the Edamkommando, Holland's windmills were preserved for the Allies' use in the post-Normandy invasion and occupation of Europe.





Oh, and to add a little more: the ivory tower can be a hard master. That's where my wife and I are at right now. She took a "quasi-faculty" position at a community college, and I am still working in a support role in my field, so that we can still live in the same town (we don't *work* in the same town, but that's another story).

I have turned down three excellent positions in the last three years (still kicking myself for two of them) because of this phenomenon. You would be surprised at how many academic couples don't live in the same town/area, or even state! It just [almost always] comes with the territory.

Jake.
Link Posted: 8/18/2005 7:55:32 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DK-Prof:

Originally Posted By DriftPunch:
When did you get married? I guess I don't pay attention too well...





Almost 3 week ago. Pictures and everything - over in the girley forum:

www.ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=71&t=378769



"Girley??"""
Who you callin' girly clog boy?

The pics are lovely...as is Mrs Prof...I have no idea about her cans....
Link Posted: 8/18/2005 7:59:59 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Vulcan94:

Originally Posted By DK-Prof:


Oh - and all you jokers. You're ALL on my list!

ETA: And an ass-kicking with clogs WOULD hurt!




Oh! I'm soooo scared! Even I can outrun someone is wooden shoes!



Vulcan94



Even seen his wooden shoes?

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