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Posted: 3/29/2009 9:28:09 PM EDT
I'll fix the title if need be but anyway here's the situation. I posted this in TEAM in a relavent thread and figured I would offer myself as cannon fodder for the masses

I got a text message one day from an old HS friend. She said my Ex from HS sent her a friend request on facebook. She accepted. Wife and I looked her up. She's "friends" with my older Brother. Why? I have no idea. This is the girl who I was still messing around with till we were 22 or so. I may have knocked her up. Don't know, don't care. I left for Kuwait and came back to never see her again. She does have a kid that's the right age but it could have been someone else's kid. Yup, wife knows about it and doesn't seem to care. I have no idea what my brother knows either. It's kind of a secret in the family since the parents didn't like her. I'm sure she knows how to find me, she just hasn't yet.


The wife is kind of interested to contact her. I keep saying to leave well enough alone. She thinks it's shitty of me that I don't want to know if I'm a father or not. The girl is trouble and I would prefer to just stay away. Frankly, I'm suprised that she hasn't contacted me especially if she knows how to. It's been about 5 years since I last saw her.
Link Posted: 3/29/2009 9:29:42 PM EDT
You're not. The kid is.
Link Posted: 3/29/2009 9:29:48 PM EDT
Let the sleeping dogs lie.
Link Posted: 3/29/2009 9:30:13 PM EDT
EJECT...take the wife and head for the hills...or find a AFcomer and grab a shovel no really
Link Posted: 3/29/2009 9:31:38 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Plissken:
You're not. The kid is.




Link Posted: 3/29/2009 9:32:07 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Plissken:
You're not. The kid is.


Link Posted: 3/29/2009 9:32:40 PM EDT
I see child support wage garnishment in your future.
Link Posted: 3/29/2009 9:33:23 PM EDT
Originally Posted By JoeCoastie:
I'll fix the title if need be but anyway here's the situation. I posted this in TEAM in a relavent thread and figured I would offer myself as cannon fodder for the masses

I got a text message one day from an old HS friend. She said my Ex from HS sent her a friend request on facebook. She accepted. Wife and I looked her up. She's "friends" with my older Brother. Why? I have no idea. This is the girl who I was still messing around with till we were 22 or so. I may have knocked her up. Don't know, don't care. I left for Kuwait and came back to never see her again. She does have a kid that's the right age but it could have been someone else's kid. Yup, wife knows about it and doesn't seem to care. I have no idea what my brother knows either. It's kind of a secret in the family since the parents didn't like her. I'm sure she knows how to find me, she just hasn't yet.


The wife is kind of interested to contact her. I keep saying to leave well enough alone. She thinks it's shitty of me that I don't want to know if I'm a father or not. The girl is trouble and I would prefer to just stay away. Frankly, I'm suprised that she hasn't contacted me especially if she knows how to. It's been about 5 years since I last saw her.


Yeah right.....
Link Posted: 3/29/2009 9:33:42 PM EDT
that was pretty good. However, it could have been the guy she was married to at the time. So, no, he possibly wasn't. Yeah, I did some fucked up shit and regret it.
Link Posted: 3/29/2009 9:34:25 PM EDT
Originally Posted By JoePatriot:
Originally Posted By JoeCoastie:
I'll fix the title if need be but anyway here's the situation. I posted this in TEAM in a relavent thread and figured I would offer myself as cannon fodder for the masses

I got a text message one day from an old HS friend. She said my Ex from HS sent her a friend request on facebook. She accepted. Wife and I looked her up. She's "friends" with my older Brother. Why? I have no idea. This is the girl who I was still messing around with till we were 22 or so. I may have knocked her up. Don't know, don't care. I left for Kuwait and came back to never see her again. She does have a kid that's the right age but it could have been someone else's kid. Yup, wife knows about it and doesn't seem to care. I have no idea what my brother knows either. It's kind of a secret in the family since the parents didn't like her. I'm sure she knows how to find me, she just hasn't yet.


The wife is kind of interested to contact her. I keep saying to leave well enough alone. She thinks it's shitty of me that I don't want to know if I'm a father or not. The girl is trouble and I would prefer to just stay away. Frankly, I'm suprised that she hasn't contacted me especially if she knows how to. It's been about 5 years since I last saw her.


Yeah right.....


trust me, I would prefer to believe that and I hardly do.

Link Posted: 3/29/2009 9:35:18 PM EDT
If it is your kid and you're not helping and don't care It sounds like you're a turd and the kid is probable better off without you.
Link Posted: 3/29/2009 9:36:53 PM EDT
wait till hes 18 then get a hold of her that way you don't risk the chance of having to give him presents or pay child support.
Link Posted: 3/29/2009 9:37:48 PM EDT
It's a trap!

(can't find the trap pic)
Link Posted: 3/29/2009 9:43:52 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/29/2009 9:47:04 PM EDT by JoeCoastie]
Originally Posted By Thefryzone:
If it is your kid and you're not helping and don't care It sounds like you're a turd and the kid is probable better off without you.


Let me clarify, not that it's any better but what I meant was, I don't care to find out if the kid is biologically mine or not. Not that I know he's mine and don't care. Deep down, I'm conflicted to find out or not. Like I said, she was married at the time and it's to my understanding that the other guy claimed him and knew/didn't care or she duped him. It was all confusing at the time but the timing didn't match up completely but it was too close to tell from what I remember. Anyway, all I know is that she hasn't bothered to find me and I don't want to contact her (let sleeping dogs lie).
Link Posted: 3/29/2009 9:48:21 PM EDT
I'd want to know. I'd kind of wonder about anyone who wouldn't.
Link Posted: 3/29/2009 10:22:35 PM EDT
Originally Posted By WinstonSmith:
I'd want to know. I'd kind of wonder about anyone who wouldn't.


wonder what exactly? Trust me, I have my days where I think about it.
Link Posted: 3/29/2009 10:35:47 PM EDT

Originally Posted By fcat:
It's a trap!

(can't find the trap pic)

Here's one for you:


Link Posted: 3/29/2009 10:36:07 PM EDT
Originally Posted By JoeCoastie:
Originally Posted By WinstonSmith:
I'd want to know. I'd kind of wonder about anyone who wouldn't.


wonder what exactly? Trust me, I have my days where I think about it.


Wonder if the kid was mine, and if I was maybe leaving my kid with some crazed psycho because it was more convenient to.

It would eat me up until I knew.
Link Posted: 3/29/2009 11:04:04 PM EDT
Link Posted: 3/29/2009 11:08:59 PM EDT
A paternity test is in your future.
Link Posted: 3/29/2009 11:09:40 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Tim_the_enchanter:
A paternity test is in your future.


I don't doubt that for a second.
Link Posted: 3/30/2009 4:32:40 AM EDT
Originally Posted By kraftwerk:
I see child support wage garnishment in your future.



tread lightly
Link Posted: 3/30/2009 4:37:50 AM EDT
IF it is your child she could be waiting to sue you for BACK OWED child support payments. I have heard of this happening to some guys.
Link Posted: 3/30/2009 4:43:18 AM EDT
so, you were banging a married chick who got pregnant around the same time?

If so, I would leave it alone, as she undoubtably told her then husband that it was his, and in the divorce, he will be paying the support. He most likely has accepted the child as his, you would be messing up three lives if you pursue it.

If for some reason you turned out to be bio-dad, what good would come of knowing this information?

Are you going to offer him a refund?

It is about the child, and his relationship with his father.

Reverse the situation. You are (insert age) and find out that mom cheated on dad, and this guy who you never met is now in the picture. Now divorced parents are really fighting over you, and 'dad' doesn't want to see you any more, and mom is mad because he quit paying her. Now you are broke, mom is crying, and daddy doesn't love you anymore.

But hey... your wife is curious, so what the hell.
Link Posted: 3/30/2009 4:52:39 AM EDT

Originally Posted By rangermonroe:
so, you were banging a married chick who got pregnant around the same time?

If so, I would leave it alone, as she undoubtably told her then husband that it was his, and in the divorce, he will be paying the support. He most likely has accepted the child as his, you would be messing up three lives if you pursue it.

If for some reason you turned out to be bio-dad, what good would come of knowing this information?

Are you going to offer him a refund?

It is about the child, and his relationship with his father.

Reverse the situation. You are (insert age) and find out that mom cheated on dad, and this guy who you never met is now in the picture. Now divorced parents are really fighting over you, and 'dad' doesn't want to see you any more, and mom is mad because he quit paying her. Now you are broke, mom is crying, and daddy doesn't love you anymore.

But hey... your wife is curious, so what the hell.
Well said....

Link Posted: 3/30/2009 4:56:15 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Thefryzone:
If it is your kid and you're not helping and don't care It sounds like you're a turd and the kid is probable better off without you.



Yup, it's confirmed that you are a bastard.
Link Posted: 3/30/2009 4:58:19 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Scott_In_OKC:
Let the sleeping dogs lie.


+1
Link Posted: 3/30/2009 7:13:13 AM EDT
Originally Posted By rangermonroe:
so, you were banging a married chick who got pregnant around the same time?

If so, I would leave it alone, as she undoubtably told her then husband that it was his, and in the divorce, he will be paying the support. He most likely has accepted the child as his, you would be messing up three lives if you pursue it.

If for some reason you turned out to be bio-dad, what good would come of knowing this information?

Are you going to offer him a refund?

It is about the child, and his relationship with his father.

Reverse the situation. You are (insert age) and find out that mom cheated on dad, and this guy who you never met is now in the picture. Now divorced parents are really fighting over you, and 'dad' doesn't want to see you any more, and mom is mad because he quit paying her. Now you are broke, mom is crying, and daddy doesn't love you anymore.


But hey... your wife is curious, so what the hell.


This really does need to be said again. Then show it to your wife and ask her why she wants to try and screw up some kids life.
Link Posted: 3/30/2009 7:30:48 AM EDT
Are birth certificates public record????

if so, go look up the child's birth certificate to at least know who she claimed to be Daddy. That'd be a start. Most likely she listed hubby as daddy. That's the usual for red headed surprise child.



Link Posted: 3/30/2009 7:45:10 AM EDT
Originally Posted By SteelonSteel:
Are birth certificates public record????

if so, go look up the child's birth certificate to at least know who she claimed to be Daddy. That'd be a start. Most likely she listed hubby as daddy. That's the usual for red headed surprise child.





I thought they were. I tried finding it thru the dept of vital records in the original state. I asked her who she listed as the father when we were still talking (before I got home from Kuwait) she wouldn't tell me.
Link Posted: 3/30/2009 7:49:59 AM EDT
Originally Posted By StraightShooter7:
Originally Posted By Plissken:
You're not. The kid is.




Link Posted: 3/30/2009 8:06:45 AM EDT
Mom always said that only she knew for sure who our father was.
Link Posted: 3/30/2009 8:10:01 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Dracster:
Mom always said that only she knew for sure who our father was.


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