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9/19/2017 7:27:10 PM
Posted: 10/19/2002 11:24:08 AM EDT
One of my shooting buddies is a LEO, and his 13 YO son is a pretty good kid. Now this LEO is built like a bear, but carries himself like Gentle Ben, and ACTS a bit slow upstairs sometimes, to boot. You'd never know he's a cop, but he chews up defense attorneys left and right. Sort of like a bearish Colombo.He's funny as hell, and as sharp as a tack. Anyway, his kid needs a ride someplace, and while I'm at it, how's about a pack of Marlboros. Yeah sure, I say. And off the kid and I go to the nearest quickie mart. So in we go, grab cokes and wait in line. At the counter I ask for a pack of smokes. Fine. The do-gooder behind me starts in giving me a lecture about how bad smoking is, etc etc. I looked at the guy with a WTF look on my face, and picked up the cigarettes. Then I stuff them into the kid's shirt pocket. I tell him that I quit 15 years ago, and I'm just buying them for my kid. His jaw falls and he almost shouts in astonishment. You let your kid smoke? He asks. I tell the guy that the kid only smokes when he drinks. His jaw falls even further. Two LEOs in line behind us are really smirking. The guy looks up at the LEOs. He asks them if they heard what was going on.The cops then realize that they're going to have to appease this gullible idiot because he looks like the type of noodnik that'd call in a complaint. Still smirking, one of the cops goes up to the kid and asks him why a good looking, nice young man like him would drink. Suddenly the clouds parted, and a ray of sunlight from the heavens pierced the skies and shone on his cheribic, youthful face. The Living portrait of naivete, purity and innocence. He looks up at the LEO, opens his mouth to speak. "Uncle Jerry says that Canadian Whisky washes the dope out of my system." Almost 30 people in the damned place, including the two LEOs howled. You should have seen the look of total humiliation on the busybody's face. He dropped his merchandise and fled.
Link Posted: 10/19/2002 11:27:55 AM EDT
LOL - That was damned funny! Serves that jerk right for not minding their own bidness. -934
Link Posted: 10/19/2002 11:33:14 AM EDT
That kid has a bright future!
Link Posted: 10/19/2002 11:35:22 AM EDT
Oh man, my sides are hurting from that one!!! Thanks for the laugh, piccolo. [:)]
Link Posted: 10/19/2002 11:36:33 AM EDT
oh damn thats funny. I just read this to my roomate and both she and I are both ROFLOMFAO. Give that kid a cookie!!!
Link Posted: 10/19/2002 11:49:49 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/19/2002 11:50:14 AM EDT by kpel308]
Link Posted: 10/19/2002 12:17:59 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/19/2002 12:18:15 PM EDT by -UHLEK-]
Originally Posted By kpel308: A-men, brothers! ROTFLMMFAO!!
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Great, now my wife wants to know why I am laughing and taking a shit at the same time. (Is it normal to surf the net while taking a crap??)
Link Posted: 10/19/2002 12:39:43 PM EDT
My wife one time started telling me something before morning coffee( I hate when she does that) She started in on how this new house even has TV jacks in the bathroom, and asks why anyone would want them there. And on and on and on. And I got no coffee in me yet. As usual, I opened my mouth and bats flew out. "Some shows OUGHT to be watched while sitting on the toilet," I said. "Take Jerry Springer. When we find out our 17 yo son is getting married to an 87 yo transvestite, we won't have to change our pants." Needless to say, the day went downhill from there.
Link Posted: 10/19/2002 12:48:54 PM EDT
LOL! Actually, most T.V. would best be viewed while on the head.
Link Posted: 10/19/2002 1:18:53 PM EDT
Originally Posted By ar10er: LOL! Actually, most T.V. would best be viewed while on the head.
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Yes, that's what I try to tell my wife...hmm now if her head was flat on top...
Link Posted: 10/19/2002 3:00:06 PM EDT
figured I bump this one up so the evening gang has a shot at it
Link Posted: 10/19/2002 3:04:27 PM EDT
That was beautiful. I haven't laughed that hard in weeks.
Link Posted: 10/19/2002 3:43:51 PM EDT
Thanks for the post. First time I've laughed out loud in months.
Link Posted: 10/19/2002 6:02:45 PM EDT
BTT. That is a [b]great[/b] story!
Link Posted: 10/19/2002 6:04:17 PM EDT
LMAO Thanks, I needed a good laugh. [:D]
Link Posted: 10/19/2002 6:04:29 PM EDT
Link Posted: 10/19/2002 7:47:52 PM EDT
reposted for the night owls. I'm outta hear in an hour. BTW, If I email one of you guys a story, can you post it for me? I'm doing a little something in my off time on Word and don't have the proper setup.
Link Posted: 10/20/2002 12:09:14 AM EDT
With quick thinking like that,the kids got a bright future.
Link Posted: 10/20/2002 12:18:18 AM EDT
Thats hilarious!
Link Posted: 10/20/2002 12:20:31 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/20/2002 1:19:49 AM EDT by Stealth]
Great story. I wouldn't have believed you could outdo yourself with the Caine Mutiny spoof, but this one was awesome. Thanks again!!
Link Posted: 10/20/2002 12:55:17 AM EDT
Good Lord - that's SWEET!!!!
Link Posted: 10/20/2002 4:37:57 PM EDT
Originally Posted By piccolo: reposted for the night owls. I'm outta hear in an hour. BTW, If I email one of you guys a story, can you post it for me? I'm doing a little something in my off time on Word and don't have the proper setup.
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Be glad to. I'll take them any way I can get them.
Link Posted: 10/20/2002 4:51:27 PM EDT
Link Posted: 10/20/2002 5:00:06 PM EDT
Link Posted: 10/20/2002 5:07:47 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Mordwyn: Give that kid a cookie!!!
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Cookie hell...that quick response deserves something stronger than a cookie!!![;)] He IS 13 years old.... cookies AND milk!!! ByteTheBullet (-: p.s. off to watch Sopranos. bye.
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