One of my shooting buddies is a LEO, and his 13 YO son is a pretty good kid. Now this LEO is built like a bear, but carries himself like Gentle Ben, and ACTS a bit slow upstairs sometimes, to boot. You'd never know he's a cop, but he chews up defense attorneys left and right. Sort of like a bearish Colombo.He's funny as hell, and as sharp as a tack.
Anyway, his kid needs a ride someplace, and while I'm at it, how's about a pack of Marlboros. Yeah sure, I say. And off the kid and I go to the nearest quickie mart.
So in we go, grab cokes and wait in line. At the counter I ask for a pack of smokes. Fine.
The do-gooder behind me starts in giving me a lecture about how bad smoking is, etc etc.
I looked at the guy with a WTF look on my face, and picked up the cigarettes. Then I stuff them into the kid's shirt pocket.
I tell him that I quit 15 years ago, and I'm just buying them for my kid.
His jaw falls and he almost shouts in astonishment. You let your kid smoke? He asks.
I tell the guy that the kid only smokes when he drinks. His jaw falls even further.
Two LEOs in line behind us are really smirking. The guy looks up at the LEOs. He asks them if they heard what was going on.The cops then realize that they're going to have to appease this gullible idiot because he looks like the type of noodnik that'd call in a complaint.
Still smirking, one of the cops goes up to the kid and asks him why a good looking, nice young man like him would drink.
Suddenly the clouds parted, and a ray of sunlight from the heavens pierced the skies and shone on his cheribic, youthful face. The Living portrait of naivete, purity and innocence. He looks up at the LEO, opens his mouth to speak.
"Uncle Jerry says that Canadian Whisky washes the dope out of my system."
Almost 30 people in the damned place, including the two LEOs howled.
You should have seen the look of total humiliation on the busybody's face. He dropped his merchandise and fled.