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Posted: 6/7/2002 4:38:40 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/7/2002 5:19:47 AM EST
... the port-a-potties... knowing that a subterranean devil like himself would feel at home in those hovels of hell. But, alas, he was nowhere to be found.

It was getting late and he had the cover of darkness. We did the only thing we could do to ensure our safety during the long night... had a crawfish and shrimp feed. Rallywagon's medical records indicated he was extremely allergic to shellfish.... if the anaphalatic shock didn't thwart him then the burning pain of the spices would. Agent FrankSquid and CIA operatives Coonass and Creole performed above and beyond the call of duty.

Daylight came slowly.... in the eerie morning light we made out a hazy figure. As it moved closer, it took the shape of....
Link Posted: 6/7/2002 5:21:54 AM EST
... a turtle!!  Rallywagon had sent one of his minions to infiltrate our camp.  Waverunner bravely answered the call of duty and approached cautiously.  With his Super Mega 5 Million Super Duper Totally Sweet And By Sweet I Mean Totally Cool fully automatic weapon, he ordered the mole to "Freeze!"  Failing to comply, Waverunner's hand was forced.  Gallons upon gallons of toxic liquid were shot at the beast until it was clear he was surrendering.  Waverunner forced the enemy to the perimeter of the campsite and then ordered him to move on.  But it wasn't the last that we would see of this determined counter operative.

But trouble was brewing on another front.  Rallywagon had secured....  
Link Posted: 6/7/2002 5:27:23 AM EST
... a parachute.  Rallywagon had somehow made it onto that damned airplane thingie, and we thought that he was about to escape into the skies like a James Bond villain.  He took an extra moment to laugh as the roar of the engine awakened the entire camp, and took pride in the fact that he had evaded our forces, or so he thought.

Then, just a few moments after takeoff...
Link Posted: 6/7/2002 5:39:39 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/7/2002 5:54:04 AM EST
... promptly followed the tracks left by the macaroni salad and gatorade mix stuck to his shoes.  Following the trail became more difficult, as squirrels and birds were quickly moving in for a taste of the macaroni salad.  Eventually, our brave ninja's followed the trail to...
Link Posted: 6/7/2002 6:05:11 AM EST
that damn turtle again. Obviously, this was an attempt by Rallywagon to slow down our hero's charge. Waverunner had been spotted on the side of the road wiping his hands off and shouting something about having to pee. Could that have been a warning to the ninja do-gooders? Unthwarted, the ninjas...
Link Posted: 6/7/2002 6:09:13 AM EST
Drove into town to check on the price of Corn and Hogs at the bank Sign. They used the new "Cav Arms" urban assault vehicle and had to climb in on the left side.

IN the process the ninjas...
Link Posted: 6/7/2002 6:16:19 AM EST
the ATF (Anti RallyWagon Task Force) was putting measures in place to twart any further entrance into the BRC, but all of a sudden....
Link Posted: 6/7/2002 6:23:19 AM EST
....out of the woods stumbled  steyrAug, he was crying!!!.  when asked what happended, he could only stutter out,  "donr,donr, whaaaa!!!!"..., the BRC looked like it was in jepoardy,things were getting ugly, this sounded like a job for.....
Link Posted: 6/7/2002 6:24:21 AM EST
Mall security!  NSFJojo showed up with a case of [b]TANNERITE[/b] in his arms.  Rally grabbed the case and started...
Link Posted: 6/7/2002 6:30:37 AM EST
to run away, when a MALL NINJA grappling hook caught him by the ankle... the Tannerite flew through the air, seemingly in slow motion.  Everyone watched in horror as

Link Posted: 6/7/2002 6:38:12 AM EST
The binaries mixed on impact and blew the culprit six miles up to the Registration tent, where he landed head first in the ...
Link Posted: 6/7/2002 6:42:17 AM EST
the big pile of horse s**t that was freshly dropped by the horse ride tour group passing by.  Once the Evil Rally pulled himself from the horse dung,

Link Posted: 6/7/2002 7:23:21 AM EST
...slowly and quietly crawled on his hands and knees to the nearest garbage can where hid oozed to the bottom of the barrel, hoping to find solitude while he rethought his plan of attack, all the while sending out "vibes" for his evil minnions to seek his whereabouts, wher they would regroup and take the base-camp. Only his plans had failed miserably, since WillysWagon had recently allocated a 6-wheel ATV, and had set forth to seek out the location of the fiendish RallyWagon, by searching each of these potential hideouts!

Link Posted: 6/7/2002 7:30:42 AM EST
the secret came out that RallyWagon was actually WillysWagon's evil twin (seperated at birth).  Willy was raised by by good natured BRC loving people, but Rally was raised by the evil Anti Gun Group, hence his hate for the First Annaul BRC.  Once the news came out why Rally hated the BRC so much,

Link Posted: 6/7/2002 9:42:56 AM EST
proceeded to line up at the food tent for the steak and/or chicken dinner. All this [b]rallywagon[/b] chasing can cause quite an appetite and even our superheros have to eat. [b]Sherm8404[/b] gleefully passed out the steaks but [b]Waverunner[/b] wasn't as popular with the chicken. "Why is that?", he asked to himself outloud? While [b]Sherm8404[/b] worked at a feverous pitch, [b]Waverunner[/b] was left pondering...Could it have been the turtle piss? Did the word spread about his deep, dark secret? Out of the corner of his eye, [b]Waverunner[/b] spotted...
Link Posted: 6/7/2002 9:48:48 AM EST
that Damned Turtle...   It was in the chicken line and appeared to have more "special sauce" for Waverunner...   Thinking on his feet, Waverunner grabbed a drumstick and...
Link Posted: 6/7/2002 9:54:10 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/7/2002 10:05:45 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/7/2002 10:30:42 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/7/2002 11:02:00 AM EST
hand out samples of home made brew "Hand Grenades" "Bug Juice"I think it was called, after drinking a few of these, the "Special Ops Unit" of the BRC began to....
Link Posted: 6/7/2002 11:30:25 AM EST
....sing the Jeopardy Theme music over and over and over and over again in an attempt to audibly flush out the fugitive.

There were, however, some unexpected consequences to this plan...

Link Posted: 6/7/2002 1:48:25 PM EST
the Spec Ops Unit was toooo drunk (or [):)]) to sing half civil, let alone catch the evil man.

Rally decided to use this in his favor by............
Link Posted: 6/7/2002 2:29:07 PM EST
telling the band to continue playing non-stop in an attmept to keep the prizes from being distributed and therefore holding the crowd hostage. [b]NSFJoJo[/b] and [b]Sherm8404[/b] even though highly drunk and unable to see straight still managed to come up with the brilliant idea of switching shirts in front of the bewildered crowd.
[b]Waverunner[/b] on the other hand was reeling in his loss to the female ninja trained in the deadly art of May Tai. Had he not been so awestruck by her beauty he might have faired better. The mysterious female ninja successfully killed off [b]Waverunner[/b] in their last epic battle by beheading him with the trunk of her car and driving away with his Glock Range Bag. Nobody seemed to notice [b]Waverunner[/b] missing, but what of [b]NSFJoJo[/b] and [b]Sherm8404[/b]? Was it possible that...
Link Posted: 6/7/2002 3:59:50 PM EST
that in all the excitement, they slipped away for a covert operation?!?!  Little did anyone know, but the minions of the Evil Rally were planning a dastardly deed.  They were going to de-rail a trainload of little cute bunnies, kittens and puppies destined for an orphanage nearby.  "This made the baby Jesus cry".  But not to worry, our 2 Hero's [b]NSFJoJo and Sherm8404[/b] accompanied by the [b]Ghost of WaveRunner[/b] (who's Kung Fu was now Strong Like Bull), were on their way to stop the dirty deed.

But on their new mission.....
Link Posted: 6/7/2002 4:21:15 PM EST
Link Posted: 6/7/2002 4:25:25 PM EST
totally flip out and crap his pants, wailing hard on his guitar,"goatboy", he said "i want you to...............
Link Posted: 6/7/2002 4:27:35 PM EST
.... cry out, "Why?! Why?!?  Why did I forget the sweet and sour sauce??"  

Not to worry, though, lurking nearby was...
Link Posted: 6/8/2002 6:30:52 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/8/2002 7:31:00 AM EST
To save the kittens of the world, from the evil turtles of the world there by bringing the long sought after peace to the.....
Link Posted: 6/8/2002 2:25:57 PM EST
end of the door prize drawing without a 1960s style riot among the ticket holders.
 Rallywagon, again with an opportunity to capitalize on a diversion, told a drunk Jeopardy singer to pee on the camp fire for amusement.  Then our hero Sherm came to the rescue.......with an excess of straw and Alcohol.  The pee soaked fire began to roar along with the Event Staff, and throw burning ashes into the night.

Rallywagon laughed at the melee in disbelief of his pranking fortune.  Out of the corner of his eye, the evil Rally saw a shadow approaching!.!.!.............      
Link Posted: 6/8/2002 2:58:49 PM EST
It was indeed vinnie who said ,I have come to teach kick-boxing and chew gum.  And I have forgotten to bring any gum, so RW said
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