Just got this from my neighbor (a former Army MP) this morning...it's a hoot.

Last night, around 7 pm, she was driving on I-75 here in FL.  Some clown in a crown vic (the dark tint, yellow strobe light on the roof, and the side mounted spotlight indicate an off-duty mall ninja) had a little case of road rage because she wasn't driving fast enough- and apparently he couldn't/wouldn't pass her in the middle or right hand lanes.  (Apparently, when 'running hot,' mall ninjas still like to obey traffic laws).

 Anyhow, this whacko starts flashing her with his spotlight...then he starts flashing his yellow strobe light as well.  She said he had some kind of an air horn or aftermarket horn going too.  Shameless.

After motioning her to pull over like this for a few minutes, this guy started to get frustrated with her.  So then, he actually tried to run her off the road.  

 She pulls over and stops her truck.  This guy (his little yellow light still flashing) pulls up behind her about 50 yards away and stops.  She waits, thinking he will get out of the car, and then she can drive away.

 Instead of getting out, he hauls ass and rams her truck ---guess what happens to the mall ninja then???   You guessed it, sportsfans, the airbag in his car deploys!  

 To make a long story short, my neighbor's truck had a little paint rubbed onto the back bumper, with no major damage (good Chevy girl-she drives a 1972 pickup-built like a rock apparently), and the asscricket off-duty mall ninja got a little more than he bargained for too.  
 
Ramming a big truck with a crown vic---what the hell are they teaching these new mall ninja recruits at the training academy these days?

 

We had a guy like that in my guard unit, he drove around with a yellow light waiting to direct traffic.
He always passed the tests for cop, and never passed an interview (so never got to the psych)
They would never take him on any deployment where he would have a gun and bullets.
At last his dream was coming true, we had an all MP call up for germany for 9 months, and he was going.
That made him lose his mind in joy and he broke into a prison 'testing security' for all our safety.
The army locked him in a hospital for a while and decided that his mental problems were because of his last name, so they changed it and released him as cured.

Tell her to get the hell out of the left lane.  

I know it's a joke, but I don't get it. What was his last name? (Dumas?)

Not to defend the dumbass cop wantabe but your neighbor should move over if she was driving slowly in the left lane.

No offense or reflection on you, Dis, but even if your neighbor was moving at what *she* felt was an acceptable speed in the left lane, she needs to get the hell out of the way for those moving faster.

I read an article in a paper out here by a guy that does "traffic columns", and someone did a poll on drivers, including left-lane sitters. A large percentage of them thought it was THEIR RIGHT/RESPONSABILITY to regulate traffic, i.e., keep their fellow motorists from moving too fast.

This is ridiculous and presumptuous in the extreme. Think of your nosy neighbor standing outside and recording how much water you use to water your grass during a water restriction. Would you think the person a conciencious, needed addition to law enforcement or a nosy, busybody asshole?

Don't give me the "we should slow down unsafe drivers, for they can hurt others!!" either. If you think there aren't enough cops on the highway writing tickets, please tell me where you live, because I would love to live in such a nirvana. The reality is, left lane sitters force the flow of traffic to pass on the right, which is not only illegal, but EXTREMELY DANGEROUS. Ever notice how much bigger the blindspot is on the back right than on the back left? Ever notice how suprised you are when someone jumps in front of you from the LEFT lane? Just plain deadly. I would bet good money that more accidents are caused from this very situation than from someone pegged in the left lane on a straight highway hauling ass.

Someone in the far right could be coming over, legally, to use that middle lane to pass. If I'm bobbing in there to pass some thoughtless, brainless asshole, I'm going to get crushed, and so is that poor slob. I can't see back there, and the guy in the far right shouldn't even have to be looking for me (although hopefully he is).

Bottom line? I think that cops should write reckless driving tickets for left-lane sitters. I'd love to see their faces turn red as they felt all their junior law-enforcement power being thrown in their faces.

Another huge part of this problem, of course, is that cars are the great equalizers. Someone who is weak and ineffectual and unable to assert themselves when dealing with others suddenly has the power of a ton and a half of steel on their side, just like everyone else. I find that many people can't handle this heady increase in their ability to stand equally with others. I believe most cases of roadrage are either perpetrated by these people "getting even" or normal people pushed to the limits of sanity dealing with them.

I hate to say this, and it certainly doesn't apply to all women, but it does seem that they get INSANELY aggressive and obstructionist on the road. That's been my experience, at least.

Enough.

Live Free or Die.

Vass

The last name thing ain't no joke, that is what the wonderful and caring medical officers in the army did for the poor man to cure him of all his problems.

His old last name was "Harry", they changed it to the name of a car part, Mc something (I only saw him 3 or 4 times after he was cured)

Interesting replies to the original post considering this moron rammed her vehicle intending to cause damage and maybe more.
I don't give a shit how pissed YOU are....Road Rage is never acceptable...that's part of the problem in this country.. most people just accept violence as a viable solution to simple problems. Time for a flood.

Someone may correct me on this, but I thought there were laws on the books stating that If approach from the rear while in the left lane you are suppose the merge to the right, no matter the speed.  I thought I saw this in one of my law books.  If this is the case, LEO should start issuing coupons to these drivers.
SugarD  

I used to wonder why they never seemed to get tickets.  The amazing thing is, when you put a lightbar on your car, they move over when they see you coming!  

Had this happen to me in Charlotte last year.  Kept passing this woman driving in the fast lane about 5mph slower than traffic, so she'd speed up, then slow down, rinse, repeat, etc.  She decides to slide in front of me to let traffic by, running about 75 pulls maybe 10 feet off my front bumper and brakes down to 65.  You've gotta wonder about someone who would pull a Cavalier in front of an Excursion and slam on the brakes.

What does this have to do with Mall Ninja's you ask? I'm trying to figure that one out myself.

Hey Dave, you're the one that's pissed, so throttle down, turbo.

There's more to this story than is being said, obviously, because I hardly think it ends with "she had a little paint rubbed off". Ninjaboy's bag is deployed, they're sitting on the side of the road, and then.....what?

No dis to Dis, (sorry couldn't resist) but there isn't enough of this story to comment ON. There IS enough to comment on as far as left-lane sitters in general.

I don't believe anyone said violence was an acceptable solution. I certainly didn't. What I did say is that I believe that people who can't take a deep breath after dealing with some ass driving aggressively and calm down is probably an ineffectual nothing in real life, or someone who has been so harrassed by said nothing that he loses his mind. Neither person is right. I didn't make an explicit judgement on either, because the conclusion should be evident.

That being said, I WOULD like to know what happened after the ramming. This is like starting a story "The guy pointed the gun at me, and pulled the trigger. Can you believe it? What a jerk!"

Live Free or Die.

Vass

Your right.  The passing on the right law, at least in KY, is to keep people from passing on the shoulder at speed.  But, if somebody is stopped in the lane of traffic (2 lane rd with shoulder), you can pass them on the shoulder.

http://www.ar15.com/forums/topic.html?ID=132089

Which is the truth?

Get back out there and sell some cars.

 On Texas interstates there are signs posted stating that the left hand lane is for passing only. You move to the left to pass slower traffic, then move back to the right lane.

i was driving one night and a group of teens in a SUV pulled up behind me at a read light and started flashing dash lights and a full bar light on top.  i dont know if their daddy was PD or FD, but the way they were using them, could have gotten them a felony.  i didnt move and they got mad at me.   then they did something real stupid, they started running hot on the beltway/tollway. lights sirens and everything.  the stupid part about it was that there are always police startion every so many miles.  thats because it is the tollway. i dont know if they got bust or not, but i hope they did!

that is inpersonation of a police officer which at least in texas, is a felony.  go file on him!

[url]http://www.ar15.com/forums/topic.html?id=132089[/url]

1. Engage right turn signal.

2. Change lane.

3. Copy license plate number.

Problem solved, crisis averted

For what?  How does that solve anything?

Did you see this on Gomer Pyle or MASH? Your telling me an Army Doctor petitioned a civilian Judge and after conferring with a crazy man decided on a name change that cured his dysfunctional behavior. Tell me what episode so I can catch it on "TV Land".

Don't want a war over this, so I will post details.
It was the 1776th MP co, 210 MPBN, Michigan Army Guard. Home armory Taylor, Michigan.
It was the 1995-96 call up to Germany.
The guys name prior to the deployment was "Paul R Harry" and he used the middle initial.
The prison he broke into was in Fort Dix (on the grounds not military) and he did it just before Christmas 1995, right after the army jerks made the whole unit requal (three months after our last qual) and then shoot the NJ state police shoot/no shoot sim.



 

The prison turned him over the the unit, who turned him over to the army for lockin care. They kept him in the hospital for a few months, and renamed him I think Mcpherson(?) (we all thought it was after the front struts on a car) because the old last name was the cause of his crazy need to be a cop and to hit himself in the head and call himself names.
He was cured by the change of last name, no drugs or followup army care, and was returned to full duty.
Prior to calling BS on me check out the story.

ROTFLMAO!

I don't know which story is funnier! Mall ninja or Army MP.

And I don't doubt either of them.

Is it in this weeks or next weeks TV Guide?  Are you sure this did not happen in band camp once?

It's a MallNinja man, what do you think happened! He flipped out and cut her head off while guitars jammed in the background.[;D]

Last weeks....I couldn't take the guard no more, and the air guard would not touch me after being army guard.
Now I am just too busy anyway being a lawyer...but one guy tried to get me back in (a story for another time and thread)

[img]www.ar15.com/members/albums/Dave%5FG%2FBS1%2Egif[/img]             [img]www.ar15.com/members/albums/Dave%5FG%2FBS1%2Egif[/img]

Ok, I belive you.