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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 5/10/2002 6:55:28 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/10/2002 7:17:46 AM EDT
In a parking lot, never park next to the sliding door of a van. If there's a van next to your driver's side door when you return to your car, climb in from the passenger side. It's way too easy to be pulled in from the wide opening of a van door when -- especially when your back is turned and you're working your door's lock. Always have (at least) one hand free to respond to whatever needs to be responded to. Don't be afraid to drop whatever it is that's tying up your hands (unless it's a child or a weapon). Have a separate stash of mugger money from your wallet. Be ready to throw it as far as you can if you're mugged -- muggers will likely chase the money and NOT you. For guys, ALWAYS use a stall in a public bathroom. A urinal leaves you too vulnerable. While a stall door isn't exactly bank vault secure, it's (a) an extra step for the bad guy and (b) a moment or two extra for you to respond. I'm sure there are other things that I do without thinking about it...
Link Posted: 5/10/2002 8:07:30 AM EDT
Ronin: Glad I'm not the only one who always uses a stall. I was the first one to speak with a customer who was mugged in the restroom of a fast food restaraunt where I worked. I will never forget the rage and disgust on his face. Someone simply opened the door and "hugged" him while he was at the urinal. Other hints: 1) When exiting your house in the morning, lock the door on the way out and close it quickly. If a bg is waiting, at least your family will be locked in. 2) Keep a spare weapon stashed in your trunk, possibly under the carpeting. Carjackers/kidnappers like to put people in their own trunks during transportation to a more discreet location. It would be nice to have a second chance. 4) Keep your gun hobby to yourself. "Loose lips sink ships" and firearms are a prime target for burglars/robbers. 5) Put bells on your doorknobs. We use the very small ones that make noise at the slightest disturbance. That's all I can think of now. -White Horse
Link Posted: 5/10/2002 8:22:34 AM EDT
Keep your car doors locked, even with the windows rolled down. Hints of danger mean "Go" not "stop". See Reginald Denny for the opposite. Don't go out with married wimmin or play pool with people that bring their own stick.
Link Posted: 5/10/2002 8:38:40 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/10/2002 9:51:57 AM EDT
Hey Ed, in most bad neighborhood's that I've lived in your #5 could be very bad for your health. Looking a latino gangbanger in the eyes is like saying "I challenge you". It's not a good idea. I'd say walk erect. Look around you. Almost swagger, but don't eyeball the element.
Link Posted: 5/10/2002 10:57:03 AM EDT
Originally Posted By ronin47: For guys, ALWAYS use a stall in a public bathroom. A urinal leaves you too vulnerable. While a stall door isn't exactly bank vault secure, it's (a) an extra step for the bad guy and (b) a moment or two extra for you to respond.
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It's also much easier than trying to keep your pistol from showing or printing. When pumping gas don't stare at the meter and keep aware instead. When stuck in line I often stand facing 90 degrees rather than stare at the back of the head of the guy in front of me.
Link Posted: 5/10/2002 11:11:46 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/10/2002 11:28:45 AM EDT by EdAvilaSr]
Link Posted: 5/10/2002 1:21:30 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Francisco_dAnconia: When pumping gas don't stare at the meter and keep aware instead. When stuck in line I often stand facing 90 degrees rather than stare at the back of the head of the guy in front of me.
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That reminds me that if I have to use a pay phone (less and less common since mobile phone coverage extends almost everywhere I go now), if the cord isn't long enough for me to face my surroundings and keep my back to the phone, I move along to find another phone. Credit card offers, etc. that come in the mail get shredded and thrown away [b]right before[/b] trash pick up OR get used as tinder. (Okay, it's not a street safe issue but identity theft ain't fun either). If I'm in a potentially high threat area, I won't wear my watch. Not only is a watch a potential target, it's among the top three excuses used by bad guys to get into your personal space ("Excuse me, do you know what time it is?"). If I'm not wearing a watch, I'm less likely to be asked. And even if I am asked, I can say a quick, "No," and keep on moving.
Link Posted: 5/11/2002 9:53:06 PM EDT
My dad was a police officer and always made sure I had a empty glass soda bottle within reach. Just brake it on the dash or steering wheel and you have a instant defense weapon. Also, in a crowded parking lot at night I always look under my car from a safe distance before I approach the door, you are vunerable for someone to grab you by your ankles and bring you down.
Link Posted: 5/11/2002 9:57:19 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/11/2002 9:58:12 PM EDT by Wolfpack]
Link Posted: 5/12/2002 12:08:39 AM EDT
Some of you guys will dismiss this. When doing the eye to eye thing with a potential threat, on a subway for instance, before anything has even happened, I imagine kicking the living shit out of that person in detail. Where, when and how hard, etc. First it gives you a game plan. Kinda important. Also starts the adrenelin process and get's you into the game. But mostly, it comes across. I swear I've seen a few guys completely perceive it. Not advocating ESP ability or anything, but it still comes across. Maybe just as attitude, I don't know. But I've seen a few guys who completely understood they had been threatened.
Link Posted: 5/12/2002 12:24:19 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/12/2002 1:09:21 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Shadowblade: I can relate... While I don't actually imagine kicking everyone's ass that I run into, I am aware of what I will do if threatened. It all comes across subliminally because no one ever messes with me and I have had people that I know say that they were scared of me when we met. I'm not a big guy and I don't threaten anyone in any way they can put into words, but there is something there and I don't pretend to understand it completely.
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It probably has something to do with the whole non-blinking stare thing.[:D]
Link Posted: 5/12/2002 2:37:26 AM EDT
Originally Posted By ARndog:
Originally Posted By Shadowblade: I can relate... While I don't actually imagine kicking everyone's ass that I run into, I am aware of what I will do if threatened. It all comes across subliminally because no one ever messes with me and I have had people that I know say that they were scared of me when we met. I'm not a big guy and I don't threaten anyone in any way they can put into words, but there is something there and I don't pretend to understand it completely.
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It probably has something to do with the whole non-blinking stare thing.[:D]
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...mmmmmmm..... kinda like a boxing match w/o your fists raised,just sizing each other up, or hockey players facing off to fight.
Link Posted: 5/12/2002 3:56:22 AM EDT
1) We all cut off other drivers on the road and not think much of the other driver. But its quite possible that the other person is pissed off and is seeking to make a revenge. Maybe you are driving a nice car and the other person wants it. You are well dressed and bad guy thinks you got $$$$. If I see same vehicle following my car for awhile, I would begin switching lanes. If he/she continues follow movement of my car, I would turn into a small side street to make sure its not a coincidence. If all is well, I would circle the neighborhood before driving home. 2) At the intersection, I would pretend to slow down and at the last minute (before the signal turns red) I would floor the gas pedal forcing the car behind me to stop while I make a getaway. If the follower runs the light to follow me then I know I got a problem. 3)At a drive up ATM or fast food drive through window, I would deliberately leave a space between my car and the car in front of me. 4)Avoid eye contacts if I see threatening person walking towards me. Look for possible evacuation route and ways to protect myself. 5)Everything is a weapon! In a self defense situation, use anything thats available to protect you or to create a diversion. You can put your car key between two fingers and use it as a poking device. If someone tries to mug you at knife point in a grocery store parking lot, use the shopping cart to keep the distance between you and the knife. Sand in the eye works. Most building has fire extinguisher. Spray it into the eye or use it as a club. 6)If the bad guy is armed with a gun, you might as well do what he/she says, don't fight back. Not all of us are fortunate enough to have a CCW permit. Your chance of outrunning the bullet is slim. One time some guy cut me off so I honked. He got pissed off and started following me. So I pulled into a parking lot near an apartment complex. He parked his car and got off. I also got off my car. He put his hand in the jacket and acted like he was reaching for a gun. He then asked me what my problem was. I told him that his car almost hit mine. I kept my body behind the car so that if he shoots, I'll be somewhat protected from the bullets. I also put my hand in the jacket to pretend like I had one too. After tense moments, he eventually drove off. I think I did couple things right that day. One, was shielding myself behind my car. Two, being where other people are likely to see me or hear me. 7) Finally, do a quick physical and mental analysis of the opponent. Can you take on this guy? Is he high on drugs? Is he serious if he says he is going to kill you? Then decide whether to fight, surrender or run.
Link Posted: 5/12/2002 11:18:17 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Shadowblade:
Originally Posted By SteyrAUG: Some of you guys will dismiss this. When doing the eye to eye thing with a potential threat, on a subway for instance, before anything has even happened, I imagine kicking the living shit out of that person in detail. Where, when and how hard, etc. First it gives you a game plan. Kinda important. Also starts the adrenelin process and get's you into the game. But mostly, it comes across. I swear I've seen a few guys completely perceive it. Not advocating ESP ability or anything, but it still comes across. Maybe just as attitude, I don't know. But I've seen a few guys who completely understood they had been threatened.
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I can relate... While I don't actually imagine kicking everyone's ass that I run into, I am aware of what I will do if threatened. It all comes across subliminally because no one ever messes with me and I have had people that I know say that they were scared of me when we met. I'm not a big guy and I don't threaten anyone in any way they can put into words, but there is something there and I don't pretend to understand it completely.
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Yeah, you noticed it too. I don't do this with everyone I encounter, only probable threats.
Link Posted: 5/12/2002 6:53:54 PM EDT
The following is a lengthy messages that was posted to the Tactics list by Greg Hamilton a few years ago.
I changed/added to this based on rereading this and Jay Swans questions. There are three postures that are assumed by people: submissive, assertive, and aggressive. People attract attention because of the first and last. With the first it is obvious that you have no boundaries or you don't enforce your boundaries. In the case of aggressiveness you are forcing your boundaries upon others. It's pretty obvious that if you have weak boundaries someone will test them. What doesn't seem as obvious is that if you project your boundaries to strongly you will also attract negative attention in the form of a hierarchical conflict. Since it seem everyone on this list loves to make military analogies. I would like to define camouflage: that which hides, blends, or deceives. In other words if you don't want trouble; don't be noticed for any reason. Be like everyone else. Be invisible. The invisible posture is assertiveness. Assertiveness is only about you, it doesn't compromise anyone else's boundaries or status. It is a live and let live posture. It is also a posture that says, "I don't compromise my boundaries or status.
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Link Posted: 5/12/2002 6:55:29 PM EDT
continued
As for eye contact, it will also be interpreted within the same model. If you avoid eye contact, or make short eye contact and then look down, this is submissive. On the other hand if you hold eye contact longer than it takes for the other person to see that you have seen them, that is aggressive. Assertive eye contact is just long enough that everyone knows that everyone knows. If you add in a nod or greeting to another meat eater and they respond, you have built some rapport and have set a bit of a truce. I.e. I see you, you see me, we are both dangerous, but we don't have a problem with each other. When dealing with panhandlers it is best to deny their existence, while letting them know that you know they are there. If you make eye contact with this type it is the introduction and the start of a relationship, and now you will have to talk to them. You are not being submissive with your lack of eye contact, you are being assertive. Once positive contact is made on their part, then face your head towards them and respond with a simple non-aggressive "no thank you" and keep moving during the exchange. I.e. get out of the kill zone. If they continue respond with a louder "NO" or "I said NO" but keep moving. Each verbal should be accompanied with consistent body language i.e. boundary setting position with a hand (palm out, arm half extended at shoulder level) No pointing, it's aggressive and as our mothers told us it's rude. If the person gets too close, you will be forced to stop and fully face them. Keep your one hand in boundary setting position and sweep your clothing aside a inch or two with your strong hand (concealing your palm) say loudly "I said NO, leave me alone!" if they try to speak, cut them off at the first word with "NO, leave me alone!" The reason we escalate to loud after the first interaction is we want to put a spotlight on them, because cockroaches don't like the light. If everyone is looking at them they will usually back down. Always create more distance every time you can and disengage and leave at first opportunity, but do so assertively. Remember this model is for bums, not hunters.
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Link Posted: 5/12/2002 6:56:36 PM EDT
continued
If you challenge a hunter and put the spotlight on him, you may force him to fight to "save face" as his buddies are watching, or you will give him the final justification to fight "that asshole was dissin me". If you are dealing with a hunter you can start the same, but don't yell, just speak firmly. Don't sweep the jacket fast, just do it casually. Give him an out. Meaning he won't just leave you alone because you told him to, he must leave this engagement without his status being lowered. He will need to verbally interact with you a few times so he can show himself and everyone else he wasn't scared, and could have took you if he wanted to. You and he will know the truth and that's all that matters. He must leave without being lowered on the food chain. Professional victimizers cannot risk being injured. It takes away from their productivity and makes them potential victims. Pain or jail time is not half as bad as injury, as neither lowers their status (in fact jail time may increase their status.) This doesn't mean they want to go to jail, but they are afraid of it less than they are of injury or death. They don't select victims by saying "Oh look that guy/women will give me a good fight." By saying "leave me alone" as opposed to "get out of here" you are reinforcing the fact that you do not wish to impose on others, you just don't want to be imposed upon. Assertiveness no aggressiveness. You could also use something like "Get away from ME." As this includes YOU and YOUR boundaries as the central issue. Saying "Get out of here" is the same form a boundary issue as saying "Get a job/haircut/life." Try something like that on the street and see how long you stay standing.
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Link Posted: 5/12/2002 6:57:33 PM EDT
continued
With hunters you may have to explain yourself more. Follow the model given for harassers and nonviolent rapists/victimizers. Aggressiveness and submissiveness both have a tactical niche and are important postures, but assertiveness is the default posture. I also, courtesy of upbringing and jobs have lived in the lowest income areas of Seattle, Columbus GA, Memphis, and Fayetteville NC and have formalized these techniques there. I have used them on everyone from bangers to outlaws bikers and have never had a serious problem. But of course I'm also willing to walk my talk. Professionals will sense a bluffer, but bluffing is better than nothing, unless you know how to use submissive posturing effectively. The only times I've attracted attention was when unaware (it looks submissive) and upon initial contact I've corrected the hunters opinion of me immediately. The group that you will have the most problems with are the young bucks who haven't mastered the victim selection process yet, and who are courtesy of deadly testosterone build up, still trying to build a rep. Avoidance first. Then assertiveness and patience next. Let them vent while holding you boundaries. Calmly and confidently explain your position and continue to repeat it. Be careful not to get emotionally involved and make the mistake of going to aggressive. You will then say or do something offensive and BOOM you've got a fight. Be to stupid and you may have a fight with a lot of people.
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Link Posted: 5/12/2002 6:59:03 PM EDT
continued
More on rapport. It is important to build rapport with hunters, because it not only identifies you as one, but it puts you in the category of hunter that is mature and respectful of others. As opposed to the young, dumb ones trying to move up the food chain. For harassers and nonviolent victimizers/rapists the first step is to set the boundary/identify the offensive behavior. "Don't touch me like that, I don't like being touched like that", "You are in my personal space, don't stand so close to me", "That was offensive, don't talk to me like that, I don't like that kind of talk". This is the WHAT and WHY stage, now you must immediately follow with the WHO AM I/WHAT AUTHORITY DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU stage. America is the land of Why? Who the hell are you to tell me? And by what authority do you command me? If you can answer these questions before the victimizer has a chance to talk, there will be nothing left for them to argue about. It is best to backstop your authority with society at large; this gives you the authority of everyone, with everyone on your side. I.e. "No one likes being touched like that", "No one likes having people that close to them", "No one likes being spoken to that way". At this point you can continue to be very firm (don't get aggressive) or you can give the person an out by saying something like "I know you didn't mean to be offensive, but you were. Don't ever do it to me again." Make sure to include the last part of "Don't ever do it to me again." As you want it very clear you will not now, or ever compromise your boundaries. The response you get will tell you a lot about the type of victimizer you are dealing with. They will respond with one of the three options submissive, assertive, or aggressive. If the person responds with an assertive "I'm sorry, I apologize, I was wrong" they probably are, and it was an honest mistake based on temporary stupidity (many times caused by intoxication) or lack of social/etiquette knowledge. Watch them for future mistakes but they are probably not a problem.
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Link Posted: 5/12/2002 7:00:13 PM EDT
continued, still
This is the way you should respond if YOU make an etiquette error "Are you dating her? I didn't know that. I'm sorry, my mistake. I was wrong, it won't happen again." Very few people will continue to be aggressive after you have admitted all wrong doing, apologized, and said it will never happen again (of course this assumes you were only talking to her, not caught in bed with her. This will only work for small errors.) On the first line you can insert anything "I didn't know this was yours", "I didn't know I cut in front of you", etc. If the victimizer responds with a mealy mouthed/submissive "I'm sorry, blah, blah, blah" while continuing to try to get close, you have a real victimizer on your hands. Watch body language on this, it will tell all. You will commonly see anger in their eyes, but they will try to conceal it with submissive posturing. This person works on compromising one little boundary at a time, and trying to gain trust. The principle being like throwing one passenger from the sleigh at a time to the wolves, it doesn't seem like such a big deal each time a person gets sacrificed, but in the end you still all end up dead.
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Link Posted: 5/12/2002 7:01:27 PM EDT
last one, I promise
The aggressive victimizer will respond with an attack on you "You asshole/bitch you're just uptight. I was just having fun, etc." They will attack you and your boundary and continue to justify themselves. It will be all your fault. Hold your ground. Tell them you don't care what they think of you, just never do it again. Remember don't get aggressive. That will be hard with this type of person, because they are experts at manipulating you to get angry and say something offensive to THEM, so they can then have proof that the whole thing was your fault. This person could become violent in a date rape type situation, in a work situation the risk of job loss/legal problems will usually prevent violence. With the date raper you must be careful while matching and leading them to prevent escalation. The situation will be highly volatile, so be very ready for violence (and never see them again.) This could go on for pages but this is the basics. Just like weapons usage, if you don't do dry and live practice you probably will have a hard time doing it for real. Dry practice verbal interaction in your head, out load when alone, and with a role playing partner. If you don't role play very well, script the thing and read the parts to each other until you are comfortable with them. You can't just decide to be assertive in an confrontation, you must make it the way you live all the time. I'll probably be doing a seminar on this subject again at this years N.T.I. Happiness is being high on the food chain. Greg Hamilton [url]www.InSightsTraining.com[/url]
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Link Posted: 5/12/2002 7:11:40 PM EDT
I do so many things, there are way to many to list... but reading some of these reminded me of one that relates to road rage. If someone is driving behind you, or you are passing them, check to see if any windows are down on the side near you (use your mirrors). Keep an eye on the windows. If they are down, adjust your speed accordingly, just to ensure that nothing is thrown or to verify they are not going to shoot their gun at you.
Link Posted: 5/12/2002 11:28:57 PM EDT
Link Posted: 5/13/2002 12:25:35 AM EDT
Does avoiding driving in large cities count? (ever want to attract some negative attention? try driving really slow through west-side milwaukee after dark with rap music playing...they will all want to be your friend.[:D])
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