Dave,
I'm a lawyer in Fort Fun. My partners are always on my tail about doing more pro bono, but I can't stand working for free for the typical welfare pukes who feel like they can coast on the system.
On the other hand, I'd be honored to step to the plate and give you a hand if you need anything. Double honored. I'm a civil litigator, but becuase I DO so much collection work, I can give you some pointers on dealing with and restructuring debt.
Now, if you haven't done so already, you need to take the first step toward extending your options in the job market and stopping the "flow" of $$ as much as possible. Sit down and write out a budget of all of your monthly expenditures. Then start cutting. Your house, for example, will probably have to go. Its better to make a "work out" deal with the lender and give a deed in lieu of foreclosure, then to actually have them come in and pursue an actual forclosure, which will wipe you out of another $10K in their fees and stuff unnecessarily. Depending on the dollar value left on your loan, you may be able to simply "walk" from that obligation. If you've got a big enough chunk of equity, you could sell the house and get some cash at closing. My guess is you haven't had the house long enough to have that kind of equity. So, see if family or friends can take you and yours in for a short while, until you can find cheaper digs. One of my very wealth clients went through exactly what you're experience when he was in his thirties. He moved his wife and three boys into a double-wide for two years, and in the end, it all worked out. Your pride will hurt, brother, but if you let yourself get forclosed and put into a big hole financially, you're going to have a toughter time crawling out. Better to swallow that pride now, make the right moves, and then get back into the swing as things come along.
Are you taking stopgap employment? In N. Colorado, the builders and roofers are just about to hit their heavy season, and they're always willing to train. Lets see... landscapers will also be getting busy, and the tire shops (Discount Tire, Big O) will all be hitting their stride this summer. Also, a lot of places in the college towns (Boulder, Greeley, Ft. Fun) will be losing student employees so you may be able to take advantage there. Take one of these jobs, and make sure it pays health insurance. You need to get your wife on an insurance policy ASAP if she's not already. You need to ask questions, so that you can get a job you can quit and move on and still have COBRA mandated health insurance eligibility. Try to work 4 weekdays and all weekend if you can. Spend your extra weekday hitting the street with resumes looking for a job in your "true" calling. But don't count on that right now. I've got clients in the IT business up here, and everyone is hungry. People are being let go, not hired. So you need to focus on surviving. Remember, every hour is an opportunity. Even if you're not "fully employed" during that hour, and are not living up to your highest wage earning potential, getting SOME income for that hour is better than getting no income. You can never get that hour back once its gone. Double up and moonlight 2 or 3 nights a week. Its doable, and the extra couple hundred a week will come in handy.
I saw on CO-AR15 that you're selling your guns. That hurts, but remember that in the end its "all just stuff." Hopefully, your buyers will be gentlemen and offer to sell back to you at cost anything they buy during your fire sale. I sure would.
Do you have two cars? You'd be surprised how easy it is to go down to one. Half the insurance; half the car payment; half the gas. You'll have to help each other get from here to there, but if you've been married as long as you say you'll do fine.
Lets see... I'm not sure about donating blood these days, as the bloodbanks have been very successful in brainwashing people into thinking that they should give blood for free. But back when I was in college you could (and I sometimes did) deposit blood twice a week, at $20 a pop. Something to look into, at least.
(An alternative to selling your house: Rent it out, furnished, at approximately 75% of going rate on a 6 month lease. This will only be cost effective if you get good tenants and if you can secure somewhere to stay for free during the interim. That won't be easy with a wife and two kids, but it won't be impossible either. Your girls can and should share a room. So really, all you need is two bedrooms somewhere.
Anyway, just some random thoughts.
But mainly, if you need me to respond to some pissant collection attorney or get someone of your back, I'd be glad to. For free. De nada. We're all part of a group here, and we need to watch each other's backs sometimes. Just IM me.