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Posted: 1/9/2003 11:41:52 AM EDT

by Pettus L. Read
Tennessee Farm Bureau

Hey Buddy, Want To Buy A Toilet?

     It was a dark and cloudy night as two men in solid black clothing prepared to cross the Canadian border and enter the United States. The weight of their boxes of illegal merchandise was almost too much to carry, but they knew the only way some people would receive relief in the states was for them to take the risk. Their cargo contained important items that would help the
U.S. citizenry regain the ability to flush away the trails of a highly regulated life.
     What were the men smuggling? Could it have been drugs, rum, top secret weapons of war, high-tech manufacturing equipment, or were they seeking liberty and freedom?
The answer is none of these items. They were actually smuggling toilets from Canada to the United States. That’s right! Simple, ceramic, high-flow and water gurgler toilets. No ifs, ands, or buts about it, America has finally gone over the edge.
     Due to a law passed in 1994 found in the Energy Policy and Conservation Act, Congress mandated that toilets sold in the U.S. can use no more than 1.6 gallons of water per flush. That amount is less than half the flow they had used prior to the passage of the new mandate.
     The new law was passed to conserve water, which is a very noble thing to do. The only problem is the new method of flushing is not working. Following the passage of the new law, Americans moved into new homes or had to replace their old water wasting, cracked models with the new swishy thrones. They soon found themselves forced to flush, and flush, and flush
     Americans were soon wanting their old toilets back, but is was too late. So being the enterprising people we are, we have resulted to what many of us do best. We break the law and look for what works.
     People are now going into the darkness of the night to old buildings being remodeled to cart off a prized ceramic throne that has been thrown into the garbage. I know an individual who has two older models in his garage just in case Y2K reoccurs and he is caught without a backup for indoor
plumbing if it should break.
     The new need for one flush instead of two is causing people to rethink moving from their older homes to new ones. One couple has asked that it be written in their sales contract that they can take their old john with them when they move. Forget the stove or refrigerator, just let them have
their commode.
     People are giving up their hand guns just so they can keep their toilets. That’s getting serious.
I have the new low-flow units in my house and I understand the concerns. I have even considered putting turbo-chargers in my units to help the flow.
     We may have decreased water usage, but have also caused the American public to go to the lowest form of illegal evolvement. Smuggling toilets must be it.
Link Posted: 1/9/2003 11:46:55 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/9/2003 11:47:14 AM EDT by 2whiskeyP]
I don't like those preban toilets anyway.  Keep on snagging my nuts on the bayo lug![toilet]
Link Posted: 1/9/2003 11:51:18 AM EDT
How do commercial toilets work? They seem to flush pretty good.
Link Posted: 1/9/2003 11:55:26 AM EDT
Link Posted: 1/9/2003 11:55:45 AM EDT
Why don't they just move to a free flushing state??

I mean, this shit is important!!

Link Posted: 1/9/2003 11:58:54 AM EDT

As a contractor I have run into this problem too. The newest 1.6 gal toilets really are designed to flush better with the 1.6 gals of water.  

I also have found the old high flow tanks are not interchangable with the new bowls.

Anyone interested in purchasing a Pink pre ban 1960's American Standard bowl and tank for $400 bucks should email me as soon as possible. Only willing to part with one, first come, first serve.  

Link Posted: 1/9/2003 11:59:43 AM EDT
I got a couple Pre-Ban's for sell or trade![peep]

Let me know what you have and we can work something out!

Link Posted: 1/9/2003 12:07:00 PM EDT
When toilets are outlawed, only criminals will shit in them.

(Honest citizens will use a 5 gallon bucket.)
Link Posted: 1/9/2003 12:10:31 PM EDT
You guys might want to take this to the EE forum!

IBTL [;)]
Link Posted: 1/9/2003 12:15:03 PM EDT
Will the BATF(Beareau of Alcohol Toilets and Firearms) come crashing through your door
if your caught illegally converting post ban toilets in to pre ban ones?
What is the penalty for installing a DIHFS
(Drop In High Flow Sear)?
Link Posted: 1/9/2003 12:15:14 PM EDT
We ran into this back in '94 when we relocated our office.  The owners remodeled the new office space, and that included replacing the old toilets.  They replaced them with standard 5 GPF toilets (still available from Home Depot at that time) and [i]the inspector gigged them for not using low-flow toilets![/i]   Freaking ridiculous.
Link Posted: 1/9/2003 12:21:46 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/9/2003 12:23:29 PM EDT by FatMan]
When they were first required, the toilet manufacturers simply reduced tank size, with no thought to how the reduced flow/pressure would perform.  My experience with one of these early "three flush wonders" was frustrating, to say the least.  

When I replaced a cracked commode this year, I was forced to use a 1.6 gal/flush unit.  I was pleasantly surprised.  The technology has finally caught up with the mandate.  

The upside it that the smaller tank fills quicker, so the time spent scalding in the shower when one of my kids flushes the toilet is virtually cut in half!!

Edited fer spellin'!
Link Posted: 1/9/2003 12:30:14 PM EDT
My preban is buried in my back yard.  Seriously, I live three hundred feet from lake Michigan and we have to flush the low flows three times. Congress is full of fools
Link Posted: 1/9/2003 12:35:45 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/9/2003 12:49:05 PM EDT
This is serious stuff.  I have heard of people bringing their toilets with them when they move.

I heard somewhere that some folks tried to get these regulations removed a few years back, but the toilet manufacturers prevented it.  It seems the standards and regulations allow them to manufacture things more cheaply.
Link Posted: 1/9/2003 2:18:29 PM EDT
I just bought a new house, and of course it came with low flow toilets in all 3 bathrooms.  I have young children who like to use a little more paper than is necessary, but not an amount that should give a decent toilet any trouble, and I kid you not, I get at [i]least[/i] a clog a day, requiring approximately 5-7 flushes and a plunger.  Let's see, 1.6 gal. x 7 = 11.2 gal. per episode?  Yup, we're sure saving water now!  Fucking bureaucratic, environmentalist morons!
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