i am in my second marriage. and i am happier with my second husband. as the first one is a jerk. but that's a different story. i believe that if you stop doing the things you did while you were dating. that marriages usually go down the toilet. and you have to love your partner through the good and bad times. my husband and i are the best of friends. cause we were bestfriends for 5 years. not to mention i think we know each other pretty well and we don't fault one another over things that happened in the past. and the number one cause of divorce these days are "money" and "adultry". jmo

Lady_of_the_Wolf

Divorced - never smelled it coming.  

The ex's lieing, cheating ways have left me unable to trust anyone in a relationship ever again - so be it.  Essentially she started cheating before we were even married.  I suspected but decided to trust someone for once in my life.  Eventually, when our son was about 2, she decided she wanted this other guy to move in, bye to me, told me some of what she had done to make me want to leave.  A month later, she is pregnant with the other guys kid, cheating on him to get him to leave, and wanting me back because I am such a great guy and "I don't know what I was thinking, you should come back for our son if nothing else.  I don't ever want to be with anyone but you".

Right.  

A week later she had a new live-in boyfriend - I knew the guy.  Two months later I run into him and all he says to me after deciding if he should run away or not, is "Why didn't you warn me?"  I laughed.

I won't even get into my bank accounts and credit cards - nothing like buying essentials for the new apartment and having them refuse your credit.  She obviously planned ahead.

I got married under the impression that it was a one time only deal.  Oh well, my time is done.

I did get my revenge though.  I act like her friend to this day.  Never once have I yelled at her, been goaded into fighting with her as she so desperately seems to want, or even come close to hitting her.  I knowingly encouraged her into a situation I knew she could not emotionally handle.  So far she has refused to commit herself as her psychiatrist (psychologist? I never remember) has recommended, but she is on so many antidepressants and other drugs I can't keep  them straight.  She is on a royal mind-fuck from hell and she cannot get out of the situation.

Sorry so long [:)].  I know I sound bitter, and maybe I am a little but, well..... so be it.  I don't let it affect me much.

Shadowblade
i don't think you are being bitter about that. she cheated on you and you have every right to be that way. why should a woman only feel that way. why can't a guy. i mean us women want equality in everything. so why can't a guy have the same feelings towards his ex-wife, like i do with my ex-husband. it goes both ways. and after i was divorced from my ex for about a year. i found out he cheated on me several times. but that's okay,cause i am in a better marriage now and very happy. not too mention my second marriage has lasted longer than the first one.

Lady_of_the_Wolf

You forgot my situation, hopefully will be divorced in a few months.

Shadowblade your situations sounds pretty similiar to the one I am going through. Just my wife can't get pregnant again without having some work done first. But she takes quite a few pills herself to keep from getting to looney. Turns out that Mr. right likes to make sure he wins his arguments with her, Ooops I guess she didn't see that in her future.

I was married the first time for 2 years. I am currently at 6 years on this one...

Well, thanks.

To tell the truth I'm not as bitter as I sound.  I've done far worse to her with a single recommendation 4 or 5 years ago than she can ever do to me - and she still hasn't figured it out.  I feel guilty sometimes but I don't let it bother me much.  I'm not usually one to post details of my life online, but I guess I needed to say something...  Damned if I know what though.

It's good to hear that marriage works out for people sometimes.  

Married 13 years. Almost got divorced but decided to give it another chance.....I am glad I did. A good marriage is like hitting lotto, I am lucky as hell and I don't think that I will get this lucky again so I work hard at staying married.