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Posted: 10/22/2004 9:55:23 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/1/2004 9:22:57 AM EDT by shaggy]
the gun issue?


My past girlfriends have always been cool with it - never been a problem. Lately though, it seems as soon as it comes out I own guns and like to shoot, I find myself wondering why I made such a dumb mistake as to be honest & upfront. A couple weeks ago I met a girl I was really into. We went out a couple times and I never made mention of it. Things were going quite well until last time we were out. Somehow it came up in casual conversation and I got this look like I had just announced I had the ebola virus. At that point, it was like she couldn't get done with her coffee, get out of there and catch a cab fast enough. If thats her attitude, thats fine, but it would have been nice to know it was an issue before I dropped a few hundred bucks on dinner & drinks. On the other hand, is it better to just come right out with it at first and risk sounding like some nutcase? ("Hi, my name's Shaggy and I collect machine guns. Would you like to go out for dinner?") I mean, I like to be upfront and honest, and I make no excuses or apologies for my hobbies but lately it seems its just a great way to ruin a night out.

Link Posted: 10/22/2004 10:06:49 AM EDT
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 10:08:27 AM EDT
Ever think you don't have to be a daddy just 'cause she has a kid?

You'd be amazed how much they can add to a life, even as say...... a little brother kind of figure.
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 10:09:27 AM EDT
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 10:16:02 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/22/2004 10:42:35 AM EDT by GabbasaurusRex]
Guns are a big hobby of yours, right? I should hope so if you're on these boards.

I think you know damn well that no woman that won't stick around because you have guns is not worth your time. I really think you should stick with being honest and upfront; maybe you should have even mentioned it sooner so you didn't waste so much time and money. I'm not saying that as soon as you pick s girl up you should yell out "I like guns!" or paint a sing on the side of your car, but during that first date when you're talking about what you like to do in your spare time, mention your firearms hobby. If the girl you're with gets freaked out and bolts, then it's only one night that you wasted. Maybe an easier way of saying it is "now I know it sounds kinda scary, but a big hobby of mine is..." and go from there. Maybe if you talk about it calmly enough it'll be less intimidating.

And then again, maybe the next chick you date will be just as much into guns as you are. You never know, dude.
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 10:17:46 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:
She also has an 8 year old son, and I don't want to be daddy.
<sigh>



I'm sure your not perfect either.

You can have someone in your life who will appreciate explosives as much as you.
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 10:18:40 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:

Originally Posted By HeldHostage:
Ever think you don't have to be a daddy just 'cause she has a kid?

You'd be amazed how much they can add to a life, even as say...... a little brother kind of figure.

Good freakin point! Thank you!



I hope you're serious . The mother and the kid both realize he already has a daddy and the kiddo probably fears a "replacement" father. Let him know you just want to be his friend, not his father.
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 10:21:54 AM EDT
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 10:27:36 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/22/2004 10:27:51 AM EDT by PointlessSilly]

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:
and I have to work to keep out of the classification of 'total slob'. I'm getting better though



Maybe your not the total slob you claim.. -> Test

Link Posted: 10/22/2004 10:29:09 AM EDT
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 10:31:49 AM EDT
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 10:34:26 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/22/2004 10:35:15 AM EDT by RED_5]

Originally Posted By PointlessSilly:

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:
and I have to work to keep out of the classification of 'total slob'. I'm getting better though



Maybe your not the total slob you claim.. -> Test




haha


YOU ARE 26 % WHITE TRASH !

The white trash in our blood will not keep you from becoming a doctor or a lawyer, but it will keep you from a good haircut and any sort of fashion sense.

Link Posted: 10/22/2004 10:34:43 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:

'Course I'm not perfect. She's anal (cut chicken, wash hands, bleach the sink, wash hands again, etc), and I have to work to keep out of the classification of 'total slob'. I'm getting better though

That's not anal, that's safe...does she work in the foodservice industry? I do.
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 10:37:34 AM EDT
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 10:41:04 AM EDT

Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:
Guns are a big hobby of yours, right? I should hope so if you're on these boards.

I think you know damn well that no woman that won't stick around because you have guns is not worth your time. I really think you should stick with being honest and upfront; maybe you should have even mentioned it sooner so you didn't waste so much time and money. I'm not saying that as soon as you pick s girl up you should yell out "I like guns!" or paint a sing on the side of your car, but during that first date when you're talking about what you like to do in your spare time, mention your firearms hobby. If the girl you're with gets freaked out and bolts, then it's only one night that you wasted. Maybe an easier way of saying it is "now I know it sounds kinda scary, but a big hobby of mine is..." and go from there. Maybe if you talk about it calmly enough it'll be less intimidating.

And then again, maybe the next chick you sate will be just as much into guns as you are. You never know, dude.



Hey Gabs..Know anything about Shaggy we don't?

Seriously, I agree with everything she said. I have run into the opposite problem here in Kali...not knowing when to bring up my gun fetish. I have found that men here in SoKal are cool if you like women, think being tied up is cool, have been in prison, do drugs, thumb your nose at the law, and think animals have a place during sex, but if you keep a pistol under your bed you must be the root of all evil. I have literally been walked out on during a date by a guy once I mentioned that I own guns.

I have learned that it is best to get controversial things like that out of the way before the situation turns into dating. It may/will limit your dating prospects but hey, why would you want to be with someone who thinks guns are evil in the first place? A friend of my mother's was told that if she wanted to continue seeing him, she had to get rid of her pistol. This was after she explained that she had been brutally raped when she was 12 and that learning how to use the gun was the only thing that helped her get back any kind of self confidence and feeling of safety. Some people just don't get it; and they are not worth your time or affection
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 10:44:17 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/22/2004 10:44:46 AM EDT by GabbasaurusRex]

Originally Posted By tjmz:

Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:
Guns are a big hobby of yours, right? I should hope so if you're on these boards.

I think you know damn well that no woman that won't stick around because you have guns is not worth your time. I really think you should stick with being honest and upfront; maybe you should have even mentioned it sooner so you didn't waste so much time and money. I'm not saying that as soon as you pick s girl up you should yell out "I like guns!" or paint a sing on the side of your car, but during that first date when you're talking about what you like to do in your spare time, mention your firearms hobby. If the girl you're with gets freaked out and bolts, then it's only one night that you wasted. Maybe an easier way of saying it is "now I know it sounds kinda scary, but a big hobby of mine is..." and go from there. Maybe if you talk about it calmly enough it'll be less intimidating.

And then again, maybe the next chick you sate will be just as much into guns as you are. You never know, dude.



Hey Gabs..Know anything about Shaggy we don't?


..... (not answering)
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 10:46:50 AM EDT

Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:
Guns are a big hobby of yours, right? I should hope so if you're on these boards.

I think you know damn well that no woman that won't stick around because you have guns is not worth your time. I really think you should stick with being honest and upfront; maybe you should have even mentioned it sooner so you didn't waste so much time and money. I'm not saying that as soon as you pick s girl up you should yell out "I like guns!" or paint a sing on the side of your car, but during that first date when you're talking about what you like to do in your spare time, mention your firearms hobby. If the girl you're with gets freaked out and bolts, then it's only one night that you wasted. Maybe an easier way of saying it is "now I know it sounds kinda scary, but a big hobby of mine is..." and go from there. Maybe if you talk about it calmly enough it'll be less intimidating.

And then again, maybe the next chick you sate will be just as much into guns as you are. You never know, dude.



In theory, I totally agree with you, but I spend about 95% of my time in NYC. Very few gun owners here, and even just being a republican (especially these days) can be a very big black mark against you. I thought keeping it quiet until they could see I was a gentleman, be friendly, polite, etc would be best to diffuse the natural anti-gun biggotry. Problem is, who wants to put a lot of time and money into getting to know someone just to get blown off because they can't see past their irrational fears? The flip-side is coming right out with it; which usually means another miserable night at home watching TV alone, surfing ARFCOM, and wishing I was out somewhere.
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 11:32:48 AM EDT
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 1:40:36 PM EDT

Originally Posted By RED_5:

haha


YOU ARE 26 % WHITE TRASH !

The white trash in our blood will not keep you from becoming a doctor or a lawyer, but it will keep you from a good haircut and any sort of fashion sense.




Are you my brother? I got the same thing!

Shaggy, you are what you are! Don't hide it. Maybe explain it, because the only thing I could think that would be chasing these women off would be ignorance. What got you into guns? Tell them about that perhaps. But in the end, if she does cut and run then she wasn't a keeper anyway. Do you really want to kiss a chick who has her head up her ass?
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 2:14:36 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/22/2004 2:16:19 PM EDT by diabolical_chicken]

Originally Posted By Persephone:
Shaggy, you are what you are! Don't hide it. Maybe explain it, because the only thing I could think that would be chasing these women off would be ignorance. What got you into guns? Tell them about that perhaps. But in the end, if she does cut and run then she wasn't a keeper anyway. Do you really want to kiss a chick who has her head up her ass?






if you want to cut down on the number of dates, take gabby's suggestion and make it part of the causal, getting-to-know-you chatter

i am a recovering liberal who didnt care either way about guns--i now love to make them go BOOOOOM--it can be done


Link Posted: 10/22/2004 3:12:34 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/22/2004 3:15:02 PM EDT by shaggy]

Originally Posted By Persephone:

Originally Posted By RED_5:

haha


YOU ARE 26 % WHITE TRASH !

The white trash in our blood will not keep you from becoming a doctor or a lawyer, but it will keep you from a good haircut and any sort of fashion sense.




Are you my brother? I got the same thing!

Shaggy, you are what you are! Don't hide it. Maybe explain it, because the only thing I could think that would be chasing these women off would be ignorance. What got you into guns? Tell them about that perhaps. But in the end, if she does cut and run then she wasn't a keeper anyway. Do you really want to kiss a chick who has her head up her ass?




Now that I've finished wiping the chicken orzo soup off my monitor...


I don't try to hide who I am or what I like to do, but I don't try to shove it down anyone's throat either. I guess its more a question of when is the best time to bring it up and roll the dice. If you do it at the outset, you may not be given a chance to show that you (as a gun owner) aren't some sort of cammo-clad, tobacco-chewing, militia nutjob many women associate with black rifles. OTOH, if you wait, you can end up investing a lot of time and money into someone who will just cut & run because of their misguided beliefs and irrational fears despite having a fair opportunity to get to know you better.

Then again, I've been shot down for so many other ridiculous reasons it probably shouldn't bother me...but it does.



Link Posted: 10/22/2004 3:18:33 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/22/2004 3:19:56 PM EDT by QuietShootr]
30% WHITE TRASH" The white trash in my blood will not keep me from becoming a doctor or a lawyer, but it will keep me from a good haircut and any sort of fashion sense.
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 3:23:32 PM EDT
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 4:35:11 PM EDT

Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:
I think you know damn well that no woman that won't stick around because you have guns is not worth your time. I really think you should stick with being honest and upfront; maybe you should have even mentioned it sooner so you didn't waste so much time and money. I'm not saying that as soon as you pick s girl up you should yell out "I like guns!" or paint a sing on the side of your car, but during that first date when you're talking about what you like to do in your spare time, mention your firearms hobby. If the girl you're with gets freaked out and bolts, then it's only one night that you wasted. Maybe an easier way of saying it is "now I know it sounds kinda scary, but a big hobby of mine is..." and go from there.



big +1 on that, wasted a year and a half of my life with one girl who turned out to hate guns. Now with AK-47 tattoed on the wrist the anti gun types get weeded out when they see me without a watch (unfortunantly though, now I can only attract ghetto girls )

Link Posted: 10/22/2004 4:47:35 PM EDT
NEVER a dumb mistake to be honest and up front.

ALWAYS a dumb mistake for a chick to dis shaggy
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 4:48:31 PM EDT
Let them get to know you a little before dropping the gun bomb. Most people that I know, even the anti crowd, don't go off when they find I'm into shooting. They have usually decided long before that time that I'm not a threat to them by my actions.
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 4:53:37 PM EDT
40% white trash.

Danny
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 5:10:02 PM EDT

Originally Posted By PointlessSilly:

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:
She also has an 8 year old son, and I don't want to be daddy.
<sigh>



I'm sure your not perfect either.

You can have someone in your life who will appreciate explosives as much as you.



.....FWIW......my kids are often referred to as "the accomplices"!
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 5:18:34 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/22/2004 5:20:05 PM EDT by Helldog40]
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 5:34:37 PM EDT


HAHA!
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 7:20:05 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/22/2004 7:36:15 PM EDT by Green_Ammo_223]

Originally Posted By Mmanwitgun:


wasted a year and a half of my life with one girl who turned out to hate guns.


Dude! It took you a YEAR to find that out? Was she that good at wool pullin or do you need a brick to the head? Just razzin ya.

ETA: and a half!
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 7:28:44 PM EDT

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:
She also has an 8 year old son, and I don't want to be daddy.
<sigh>



Nothin wrong with a female that has kids. You gots to look at the total picture.

Unless, you just don't want to be around kids.
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 7:42:30 PM EDT
Hey guys, my ol' lady books our room at Knob Creek and reminds ME what weekend we gotta go. She agreed to put off our child one year so I could buy another M16. Last night she loaded a beta for me while I cooked dinner. You gotta find the right girl. Oh btw, she is a fashionable lady, not a dyke. AND SHE IS A HOTTIE!!!!
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 7:43:46 PM EDT

Originally Posted By bubba99:
Hey guys, my ol' lady books our room at Knob Creek and reminds ME what weekend we gotta go. She agreed to put off our child one year so I could buy another M16. Last night she loaded a beta for me while I cooked dinner. You gotta find the right girl. Oh btw, she is a fashionable lady, not a dyke. AND SHE IS A HOTTIE!!!!



Lucky guy!
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 7:54:58 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Helldog40:
As soon as the conversation over coffee on the FIRST casual date turns to "what are your hobbies?" mention that you "like to shoot".


I think the most important way to do it is to act nonchalantly about it. No offense, Gabbasaurusrex, but I wouldn't feed a prosepective phobia by starting off with, "...I know it sounds kinda' scary...". My GF is a yankee and at first she was a little put off by all my guns, but once she realized that I've been raised with them and have never shot anyone deliberately or accidentally and I got her to understand that they don't have minds of their own and don't just "go off" like the media loves to report she's warmed up a liittle. She's still not a gun nut like me, but she tolerates them and now has a S&W 642 - it's even +P+ rated, but she doesn't appreciate that fully.
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 8:16:46 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/22/2004 8:17:46 PM EDT by Green_Ammo_223]
Hey Shaggy...this is my sister-in-law, she lives in the village where ever the hell that is. She is really fun, cool, sweet and SINGLE! She doesn't know a lot about guns but she is my sis so she is really interested in them. She has shot a few of my guns and said it was a "rush". She is the one in the red top.

Link Posted: 10/22/2004 8:49:05 PM EDT

Originally Posted By bubba99:
She agreed to put off our child one year so I could buy another M16.



But does she want a boy or a girl?
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 8:54:12 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Bucko:
I think the most important way to do it is to act nonchalantly about it. No offense, Gabbasaurusrex, but I wouldn't feed a prosepective phobia by starting off with, "...I know it sounds kinda' scary...". My GF is a yankee and at first she was a little put off by all my guns, but once she realized that I've been raised with them and have never shot anyone deliberately or accidentally and I got her to understand that they don't have minds of their own and don't just "go off" like the media loves to report she's warmed up a liittle. She's still not a gun nut like me, but she tolerates them and now has a S&W 642 - it's even +P+ rated, but she doesn't appreciate that fully.



Off topic, but why do you say yanks are anti-gun?

Link Posted: 10/22/2004 9:35:22 PM EDT
She wants a Colt. It is supposed to be for her
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 10:18:21 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/22/2004 10:19:27 PM EDT by G-Rated]

Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:
I think you know damn well that no woman that won't stick around because you have guns is not worth your time.



+1

Save yourself time, money, and pain and suffering.


If she bolts at the mention of gunz, she is either a raging anti, or insecure and skittish.


If she does NOT bolt at the meniton of guns she is one of the following:

1. Normal and understanding (you're normal and aren't going to kill her, understanding of your hobbies). Obvious good prospect.

2. Already into guns. Speaks for itself!

3. Adventurous and possibly wild (thinks guns sound wild and adventurous and she's down). It may not work out in the long run, but she's quite possibly also adventurous in bed! At the bare minimum it'll be fun for a while.
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 10:23:24 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/22/2004 10:38:07 PM EDT by Bucko]

Originally Posted By PointlessSilly:
Off topic, but why do you say yanks are anti-gun?


There tend to be more liberals in the northeast especially in NJ whence she came.



Originally Posted By Green_Ammo_223:
Hey Shaggy...this is my sister-in-law, she lives in the village where ever the hell that is. She is really fun, cool, sweet and SINGLE! She doesn't know a lot about guns but she is my sis so she is really interested in them. She has shot a few of my guns and said it was a "rush". She is the one in the red top.

img.photobucket.com/albums/v478/GreenAmmo223/scan.jpg




Seriously though: go for it, Dude.
Link Posted: 10/23/2004 1:50:45 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/23/2004 3:21:40 PM EDT by Helldog40]
Link Posted: 10/23/2004 3:02:22 PM EDT

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:

Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:

'Course I'm not perfect. She's anal (cut chicken, wash hands, bleach the sink, wash hands again, etc), and I have to work to keep out of the classification of 'total slob'. I'm getting better though

That's not anal, that's safe...does she work in the foodservice industry? I do.

LOL, she's the one who described herself as anal.




Maybe she had something else in mind??? Does Popper/pics come to mind??.....
Link Posted: 10/23/2004 4:02:29 PM EDT
Link Posted: 10/23/2004 4:09:14 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/23/2004 4:11:35 PM EDT by Lorie40]

Originally Posted By Helldog40:

in NYC, the really deviant chicks go for guns, republicans, and guys with values....if only because STRAIGHTguys are so rare in that part of the citythat THEY qualify as deviant....



hang in there Shaggy, we ALL love you! Those girls don't know what they are missing out on and it is their loss.



edited for clarity
Link Posted: 10/23/2004 4:17:22 PM EDT
Link Posted: 10/23/2004 4:53:38 PM EDT
Link Posted: 10/23/2004 5:01:50 PM EDT
Link Posted: 10/23/2004 5:06:39 PM EDT
Link Posted: 10/23/2004 5:20:32 PM EDT
Link Posted: 10/23/2004 5:23:50 PM EDT

Originally Posted By PointlessSilly:

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:
and I have to work to keep out of the classification of 'total slob'. I'm getting better though



Maybe your not the total slob you claim.. -> Test



14% Whitetrash here: what kind of BS is this:
You, my friend, have class. You are so not white trash. You are more than likely Democrat, and your place is neat, and there is a good chance you may never drink wine from a box.
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