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Posted: 8/9/2014 11:35:37 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/30/2014 10:43:44 PM EDT by Stripeknight]
...................
Link Posted: 8/9/2014 11:38:04 PM EDT
Sorry to hear, been there done that. Some of the drug mfg have programs to assist patients with meds, my own mother was getting her $900/mo blood thinner and others for free when she went thru cancer
Link Posted: 8/9/2014 11:40:51 PM EDT

Focus on your mother and yourself, don't waste any energy with your father's nonsense and don't entertain anymore of it.

You're on the right track, stay on it and deny his drama.

Best wishes.


Link Posted: 8/9/2014 11:42:35 PM EDT
Best of luck to you and your mom!
Link Posted: 8/9/2014 11:44:53 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Stripeknight:

I just don't understand my piece of shit father and how he could treat my sick mother this way. Some one... please help me understand.........
View Quote

There is nothing to understand.

Some people are just assholes and deserve to be alone.
Link Posted: 8/9/2014 11:46:05 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/9/2014 11:49:42 PM EDT
If you dont understand him, you just wont.

The only thing I can offer is actual payers for the three of you and your family



I really wish I could do more OP
Link Posted: 8/9/2014 11:53:37 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/9/2014 11:56:17 PM EDT by Stripeknight]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Diger440:
If you dont understand him, you just wont.

The only thing I can offer is actual payers for the three of you and your family



I really wish I could do more OP
View Quote



I appreciate the kind words. There are only two family members left to discuss as far as I'm concerned. The man who was once my father is now destitute, cut off and no longer a person I will ever speak too again. A man takes care of his wife through thick and thin and my mother is the kindest person I know. To HELL with the man who would abandon this kind women in her greatest time of need.
Link Posted: 8/9/2014 11:55:27 PM EDT
My thoughts and prayers, out to you, and your mom, OP

As per your father; maybe he's going through denial? People react in different ways when they hear (potentially) life changing news.

Either way, hang in there, brother.
Link Posted: 8/9/2014 11:55:40 PM EDT
Sorry to hear that. Like said above just do the best you can for your mother and try not to concentrate to much on the old man. It's hard, I lost my dad a few years ago to it, and I got a whole new outlook on life after that, realising how short it really is. It sounds like you already know what to do and you will never regret it. We only have one. Lots of good stuff out there nowadays. I know a few people that have beat it. Prayers sent.
Link Posted: 8/9/2014 11:56:42 PM EDT
You know what to do. Don't worry about shit that doesn't really matter and focus on mom.

Good man
Link Posted: 8/9/2014 11:58:43 PM EDT
Prayers for you and your mother OP


Ignore your father, he isn't worth even thinking about.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 12:04:01 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Stripeknight:



I appreciate the kind words. There are only two family members left to discuss as far as I'm concerned. The man who was once my father is now destitute, cut off and no longer a person I will ever speak too again. A man takes care of his wife through thick and thin and my mother is the kindest person I know. To HELL with the man who would abandon this kind women in her greatest time of need.
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Originally Posted By Stripeknight:
Originally Posted By Diger440:
If you dont understand him, you just wont.

The only thing I can offer is actual payers for the three of you and your family



I really wish I could do more OP



I appreciate the kind words. There are only two family members left to discuss as far as I'm concerned. The man who was once my father is now destitute, cut off and no longer a person I will ever speak too again. A man takes care of his wife through thick and thin and my mother is the kindest person I know. To HELL with the man who would abandon this kind women in her greatest time of need.


Sucks to have the drama in your life that you didn't expect to have. Take care of your mother as you have planned. For your father nothing. Prayers.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 12:06:23 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/10/2014 12:07:26 AM EDT by c7aea15]



Couldn't that be a little harsh?

I obviously don't know the guy or all the details but maybe he is just freaked out and scared and doesn't know how to express it.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 12:07:20 AM EDT
There's nothing to understand. Your old man is a piece of shit. I have plenty in my family, I cut them out of my life. You and your mom should do the same.

Prayers out OP.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 12:08:15 AM EDT
Shit dude. Support your mother. Cancer can be pretty manageable these days. What kind of cancer if you don't mind me asking.

Also, your father can be lashing out because he doesn't know how to handle it. I'd tell him to act like a man myself, honor his commitments.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 12:17:52 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/10/2014 12:19:56 AM EDT by Stripeknight]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By azeppelinfan:
Shit dude. Support your mother. Cancer can be pretty manageable these days. What kind of cancer if you don't mind me asking.

Also, your father can be lashing out because he doesn't know how to handle it. I'd tell him to act like a man myself, honor his commitments.
View Quote


Thank you for the advice. Although how do you explain to a man without honor the idea of commitments?.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 12:27:51 AM EDT
Prayers sent.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 12:41:08 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Stripeknight:


Thank you for the advice. Although how do you explain to a man without honor the idea of commitments?.
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Originally Posted By Stripeknight:
Originally Posted By azeppelinfan:
Shit dude. Support your mother. Cancer can be pretty manageable these days. What kind of cancer if you don't mind me asking.

Also, your father can be lashing out because he doesn't know how to handle it. I'd tell him to act like a man myself, honor his commitments.


Thank you for the advice. Although how do you explain to a man without honor the idea of commitments?.



I think you answered it with your question. Best of luck. Do your best.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 12:52:35 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/10/2014 12:53:52 AM EDT by edb66]
OP, there is a lot more to your animosity with your dad than you have spoken of in this thread.

Stop focusing on him.

Focus on your mom and how you and she can get the best treatment you can both find and afford. Her quality of life and yours is what is important.

The old man can go suck eggs if he doesn't want to play nice.

And best wishes for you and mom.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 1:04:20 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/10/2014 1:05:32 AM EDT by Stripeknight]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By edb66:
OP, there is a lot more to your animosity with your dad than you have spoken of in this thread.

Stop focusing on him.

Focus on your mom and how you and she can get the best treatment you can both find and afford. Her quality of life and yours is what is important.

The old man can go suck eggs if he doesn't want to play nice.

And best wishes for you and mom.
View Quote


Yeah, because hearing your mother is getting thrown out from her home based on getting cancer inspires clues of the average person towards potential and conclusive previous animosity. Nice work there Detective.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 1:07:06 AM EDT
Prayers inbound
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 1:07:25 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/10/2014 1:08:26 AM EDT by azeppelinfan]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Stripeknight:


Yeah, because hearing your mother is getting thrown out from her home based on getting cancer inspires clues of the average person towards potential and conclusive previous animosity. Nice work there Detective.
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Originally Posted By Stripeknight:
Originally Posted By edb66:
OP, there is a lot more to your animosity with your dad than you have spoken of in this thread.

Stop focusing on him.

Focus on your mom and how you and she can get the best treatment you can both find and afford. Her quality of life and yours is what is important.

The old man can go suck eggs if he doesn't want to play nice.

And best wishes for you and mom.


Yeah, because hearing your mother is getting thrown out from her home based on getting cancer inspires clues of the average person towards potential and conclusive previous animosity. Nice work there Detective.



I don't think we knew about that definitively. If you give details we might be able to help, if you need to bitch and scream we are hear for that to.

Edit: Team is a better place for sound advice. If you need a membership let me know.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 1:09:47 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/10/2014 1:10:22 AM EDT by Stripeknight]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By azeppelinfan:





I don't think we knew about that definitively. If you give details we might be able to help, if you need to bitch and scream we are hear for that to.

Edit: Team is a better place for sound advice. If you need a membership let me know.
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Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By azeppelinfan:
Originally Posted By Stripeknight:
Originally Posted By edb66:
OP, there is a lot more to your animosity with your dad than you have spoken of in this thread.

Stop focusing on him.

Focus on your mom and how you and she can get the best treatment you can both find and afford. Her quality of life and yours is what is important.

The old man can go suck eggs if he doesn't want to play nice.

And best wishes for you and mom.


Yeah, because hearing your mother is getting thrown out from her home based on getting cancer inspires clues of the average person towards potential and conclusive previous animosity. Nice work there Detective.





I don't think we knew about that definitively. If you give details we might be able to help, if you need to bitch and scream we are hear for that to.

Edit: Team is a better place for sound advice. If you need a membership let me know.


Thank you sir I appreciate the support.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 2:01:57 AM EDT
I think I may have spoken less than clearly.

Focus on mom. Focus on you.

Best wishes for both of you.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 2:04:15 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By edb66:
I think I may have spoken less than clearly.

Focus on mom. Focus on you.

Best wishes for both of you.
View Quote


Well stated.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 2:17:19 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/10/2014 2:20:57 AM EDT by ToledoXJ]
This is way more common than anyone would guess.
When my wife had breast cancer I can't believe how many people told me I was a "great guy for sticking by her".

They all got from me. I never considered not doing so, but apparently it happens all the time.

My situation got fucked up when her mom decided to leave her husband of 13 years the day she had her port put in. She wasn't there at all for her own daughter because she couldn't gut it out for a few more months. Haven't talked to that bitch in 10 years. My wife just now started to talk to her again.

OP You never said what brand of cancer but it is something that people survive. The road there sucks but it can be beat.
Accept what is and take care of business.


EDIT: Be aware that people will say the wrong things, at the wrong time over and over.
Your father doesn't get a pass, but others should.
I can't begin to tell you the stupid shit people said to me when they found out we were going through this shit
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 2:53:41 AM EDT
What a terrible situation. I hope your Mom will get the medical treatment she needs and that she makes a full recovery. You are doing the right thing by taking her in and helping her out.

Sometimes you can't explain or understand why people do terrible things.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 4:39:33 AM EDT
he will regret what he said soon enough. Maybe it was just a come to jesus moment all at once and his life flashed before his eyes
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 7:09:37 AM EDT
Don't try to understand ... it isn't worth the emotional cost.

Just be there for your mother.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 7:15:22 AM EDT
You and yours are in my prayers, bro.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 7:19:11 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By SIRIUS1:

Focus on your mother and yourself, don't waste any energy with your father's nonsense and don't entertain anymore of it.

You're on the right track, stay on it and deny his drama.

Best wishes.


View Quote



This pretty much sums it, and I'll say a prayer for your Mom as well as your family.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 7:27:34 AM EDT
Sorry to hear about your mom's cancer, and I hope she gets through it. My step-father passed away from it last year.

Your dad, who may/may not be a piece of shit, is probably tranfering fear into anger.

So instead of being afraid of losing his wife and being alone, which scares him, he turns it into anger at her, which he can deal with.

Either way, zero him out of your life now, and take care of your mom.

Good luck to you both.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 7:33:12 AM EDT
Don't have much to add except good luck OP. Hope things work out with Mom.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 7:35:44 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By SIRIUS1:

Focus on your mother and yourself, don't waste any energy with your father's nonsense and don't entertain anymore of it.

You're on the right track, stay on it and deny his drama.

Best wishes.


View Quote


+1 and sorry Man, stay positive for your Mom.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 7:40:41 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Stripeknight:
I haven't posted in awhile, but I could use your guy's support tonight, my mother called and confirmed that she has cancer. My father yelled at her this evening and said it will be too expensive to support her now that she has cancer and he never saved for any type of retirement and he is ready to retire in a few years since she also works to pay the bills in their house hold....

I explained to my mother on the phone that she can move out of my fathers house and move in with me and I will pay for her expenses to live and her medical bills as I own my house outright and make 6 figures a year.

I just don't understand my piece of shit father and how he could treat my sick mother this way. Some one... please help me understand.........
View Quote



I just found out that my Mamaw has cancer. Don't worry about your POS father. Be there for your mom. Focus on her, and help her. Let your dad figure shit out by himself. Best of luck to you.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 7:56:26 AM EDT
Good luck OP.

Fuck cancer.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 7:56:31 AM EDT
God be with you.
Cancer can be beaten and cured especially when caught early.
Although each case is different. Never give up hope. Get the best treatment possible. She can live a normal lifespan loved and happy.
She will be fine. You all need to focus only on that.
Prayers of healing, strength and guidance sent.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 8:15:47 AM EDT
Prayers sent for your Mom and you. Bless you for stepping up and being there for your Mom. Sorry about the trouble with your dad but he sounds like a self-centered piece.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 8:21:38 AM EDT
Blessings for you and your Mom, be prepared to hire a care giver to give yourself a break.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 8:24:37 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By stoner63a:
Sorry to hear, been there done that. Some of the drug mfg have programs to assist patients with meds, my own mother was getting her $900/mo blood thinner and others for free when she went thru cancer
View Quote


Check with your county health services for guidance on signing up for cheap/free meds OP. They can help you find a lot of those non-governmental programs.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 8:27:31 AM EDT
Prayers sent for your family.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 8:28:10 AM EDT
People react in sometimes a inappropriate manner when under stress. I've seen it many times in the hospital clinics. This may account for your dad's outburst.


Do what you think is right.


But try to avoid saying what you really think to your mom.

I've seen where the spouses forgive each other in the end. But not the one's who spoke their mind.

Just remember this is an emotional time for all involved.

Hope your mom responds well to all treatment .


gd
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 8:33:50 AM EDT
OP,,,I am NOT taking up for your Dad ,,,but,,,I lost my Mom to cancer just after I graduated HS. I was 18 at the time. My Dad was a wonderful man and as supportive as any human could be to both me and Mom during a very difficult time. I can tell you however that my Dad was not the same man that I`d known for 18 years. The stress, loss of his partner, constant worry etc. changed him. He was not mean to me but in his own soft way encouraged me to look out for myself as he was overwhelmed by what was happening. He went from a man that lived to have fun with us to a desperate man pretty quickly. I understood, at least on the surface, what he was going through but not until much later in life did I fully understand the burden it was on him. Sorry for your situation. Take care of your Mom. I , during my senior year of HS, spent many evenings at home with mine even though the "gang" called all the time and invited me to go with them. I don`t regret for a minute not going out with friends. I now know I would have regretted all my life not spending those precious moments with my Mom.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 8:41:53 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Stripeknight:
I haven't posted in awhile, but I could use your guy's support tonight, my mother called and confirmed that she has cancer. My father yelled at her this evening and said it will be too expensive to support her now that she has cancer and he never saved for any type of retirement and he is ready to retire in a few years since she also works to pay the bills in their house hold....

I explained to my mother on the phone that she can move out of my fathers house and move in with me and I will pay for her expenses to live and her medical bills as I own my house outright and make 6 figures a year.

I just don't understand my piece of shit father and how he could treat my sick mother this way. Some one... please help me understand.........
View Quote



Don't beat your brains out trying to understand, just bring her into your home and look after her. Life is full of challenges and this is a big one, Godspeed.
Link Posted: 8/10/2014 8:56:02 AM EDT
Stripeknight

Just take care of your mom as we know you will do. ( Also been there & done that: Mom passed in 2005 due to cancer )

As far as your dad is concerned...............NOT COC compliant...
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