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Posted: 1/19/2008 4:14:10 PM EST
***************************** Top Secret - Majestic  ******************************

25 May 2008

Subj: Initial Tactical Analysis - Cloverfield Entity

Para 1 - Introduction: On 22 May 2008 at approximately 0200Z, a large entity of extraterrestrial origin attacked Manhattan NY.  The entity proceeded to destroy most of the island.   Large entity was accompanied by many minor entities.  The large entity was engaged with conventional US Army, USANG and Air Force personnel and equipment.  The entity appears to have escaped.  Damage to the entity is unknown.

Para 2 - Forces Engaged: USANG forces were first on scene and engaged entity.  Small arms, AT rocket fire and 120mm tank cannon were used, to no effect.  As artillery units arrived on scene, entity was engaged with 155mm and 203mm HE cannon fire, to no effect.  Artillery fire was kept to a minimum, due to large numbers of civilians in the engagement zone.  As large swaths of Manhattan were cleared of structures by the entity, Air Force equipment was cleared for engagement.  Air Force A10 aircraft engaged with 30mm cannon and AGM-65 fire, to no noticeable effect on the entity.  A B2 aircraft engaged entity with 16 900KG JDAM munitions.  Entity appeared to be momentarily stunned, possibly injured, but quickly recovered.  After Presidential clearance was forthcoming, four MOAB munitions were deployed in a time on target salvo against the entity.  The entity, apparently unharmed, then left the vicinity of Manhattan island via the Atlantic.

Para 3 - Analysis of Entity:  Confirmation of extraterrestrial origin was obtained by analysis of minor entities accompanying large entity, as well as small samples of large entity, including fecal matter.  Entities exhibited non-terrestrial DNA analog.  Large entity displayed possible low level intelligence.  Actions of entity when engaged by forces indicates possible tactical behavior, such as deploying minor entities against US forces.  Large entity is approximately 800 feet in length and stands approximately 350 feet tall.  Small entities are approximately 3 feet in length.  Oral contact with small entities that breaks the dermis leads to death of the victim.

Para 4 - Conclusion: All indications lead to the assumption that the large entity is still at large.  Naval, Coast Guard and Air Forces are currently searching for the entity.  Multiple large sonar contacts have occurred.  Presidential clearance for tactical nuclear release has been given.

***************************** Top Secret - Majestic  ******************************
           
cmmg
Link Posted: 1/19/2008 4:19:57 PM EST
[#1]
Godzilla is going to Manhattan in May?  That sucks!  I'm booked for Manhattan in August and want to spend time doing research at the NY Historical Society.  D*mn!  Can't he wait until October when I'm done?
Link Posted: 1/19/2008 4:22:38 PM EST
[#2]

Quoted:
***************************** Top Secret - Majestic  ******************************

25 May 2008

Subj: Initial Tactical Analysis - Cloverfield Entity

Para 1 - Introduction: On 22 May 2008 at approximately 0200Z, a large entity of extraterrestrial origin attacked Manhattan NY.  The entity proceeded to destroy most of the island.   Large entity was accompanied by many minor entities.  The large entity was engaged with conventional US Army, USANG and Air Force personnel and equipment.  The entity appears to have escaped.  Damage to the entity is unknown.

Para 2 - Forces Engaged: USANG forces were first on scene and engaged entity.  Small arms, AT rocket fire and 120mm tank cannon were used, to no effect.  As artillery units arrived on scene, entity was engaged with 155mm and 203mm HE cannon fire, to no effect.  Artillery fire was kept to a minimum, due to large numbers of civilians in the engagement zone.  As large swaths of Manhattan were cleared of structures by the entity, Air Force equipment was cleared for engagement.  Air Force A10 aircraft engaged with 30mm cannon and AGM-65 fire, to no noticeable effect on the entity.  A B2 aircraft engaged entity with 16 900KG JDAM munitions.  Entity appeared to be momentarily stunned, possibly injured, but quickly recovered.  After Presidential clearance was forthcoming, four MOAB munitions were deployed in a time on target salvo against the entity.  The entity, apparently unharmed, then left the vicinity of Manhattan island via the Atlantic.

Para 3 - Analysis of Entity:  Confirmation of extraterrestrial origin was obtained by analysis of minor entities accompanying large entity, as well as small samples of large entity, including fecal matter.  Entities exhibited non-terrestrial DNA analog.  Large entity displayed possible low level intelligence.  Actions of entity when engaged by forces indicates possible tactical behavior, such as deploying minor entities against US forces.  Large entity is approximately 800 feet in length and stands approximately 350 feet tall.  Small entities are approximately 3 feet in length.  Oral contact with small entities that breaks the dermis leads to death of the victim.

Para 4 - Conclusion: All indications lead to the assumption that the large entity is still at large.  Naval, Coast Guard and Air Forces are currently searching for the entity.  Multiple large sonar contacts have occurred.  Presidential clearance for tactical nuclear release has been given.

***************************** Top Secret - Majestic  ******************************
           


Oh, no. There goes Tokyo. Go, go, Godzilla.

Yeah.
Link Posted: 1/19/2008 4:22:58 PM EST
[#3]
Did you write this or find it on the web?
Link Posted: 1/19/2008 4:23:51 PM EST
[#4]

Quoted:
Did you write this or find it on the web?


Wrote it.  Beer helped.

Link Posted: 1/19/2008 4:25:16 PM EST
[#5]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Did you write this or find it on the web?


Wrote it.  Beer helped.



Bastard.

I was trying to find the Slusho/Tartugo tie in.
Link Posted: 1/19/2008 4:25:39 PM EST
[#6]
Edit: Looks like I was wrong
Link Posted: 1/19/2008 4:25:43 PM EST
[#7]
With all the 'net pre-release hype, it wouldn't surprise me if this is an "official" release and portends Cloverfield II.

Well done, regardless.

I'm supposed to see it Tuesday with a buddy as my wife is NOT into monster movies.  From all the reviews I've read here and elsewhere I have decided it's gonna be a "go" on it.  Not a huge fan of the shaky camera mocumentary format, but the story sounds interesting enough and I am a Lost fan (J.J. Abrams) so I'll pay my money and takes my chances.

ETA: oops, OP admitted to writing it while I was posting.  Damn it.
Link Posted: 1/19/2008 4:27:20 PM EST
[#8]
Pretty neat.
Link Posted: 1/19/2008 4:31:40 PM EST
[#9]
Here we go-part 2! can't wait

If it's real...hard to say with this film,but it's getting to be fun.

Probably the best gaint monster movie in years.

Edit:

You're close anyway-the pics suggest it may still be alive,alien? who knows? I still say we're gonna have a part 2
Link Posted: 1/19/2008 4:38:22 PM EST
[#10]

Quoted:
Here we go-part 2! can't wait

If it's real...hard to say with this film,but it's getting to be fun.

Probably the best gaint monster movie in years.

Edit:

You're close anyway-the pics suggest it may still be alive,alien? who knows? I still say we're gonna have a part 2


Heh.  I guess I need to break down and actually SEE the movie...

Abrams has stated that the monster is an alien.  Also, I heard that early, review versions of the movie showed the monster shaking off, jumping in the ocean and swimming away, after the credits.

I think they cut that part out before the release.

Link Posted: 1/19/2008 4:40:51 PM EST
[#11]
Godzilla would win
Link Posted: 1/20/2008 3:54:28 AM EST
[#12]
Bump for the day crew.
Link Posted: 1/20/2008 3:59:53 AM EST
[#13]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Did you write this or find it on the web?


Wrote it.  Beer helped.



Good job;

Down a few more beers and keep writing.
Link Posted: 1/20/2008 12:37:52 PM EST
[#14]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Quoted:
Did you write this or find it on the web?


Wrote it.  Beer helped.



Good job;

Down a few more beers and keep writing.


Thanks.

Too bad I didn't write it Friday night, I was into the Wild Turkey...

Link Posted: 1/20/2008 1:08:34 PM EST
[#15]

Quoted:
Godzilla would win


Fire Godzilla owns

Link Posted: 1/20/2008 1:13:08 PM EST
[#16]
pretty good write-up
Link Posted: 1/20/2008 1:22:25 PM EST
[#17]
I'll just download it bootleg
Link Posted: 1/20/2008 1:30:57 PM EST
[#18]
"History shows again and again, how nature points out the folly of men.
GO GO GODZILLA!"

- B.O.C.
Link Posted: 1/20/2008 3:42:44 PM EST
[#19]
830+ reads and NOBODY has mentioned "Top Secret - Majestic".

I guess that means everybody understands...

Link Posted: 1/20/2008 3:44:47 PM EST
[#20]
Why does EVERY SINGLE DISASTER/SUPERHERO MOVIE happen in Manhattan?
Link Posted: 1/21/2008 7:43:38 AM EST
[#21]

Quoted:
Why does EVERY SINGLE DISASTER/SUPERHERO MOVIE happen in Manhattan?


Big target, like Tokyo.

Link Posted: 1/22/2008 6:30:04 AM EST
[#22]
It looks like Cloverfield broke the record for a January opening weekend.

Link Posted: 1/22/2008 9:05:09 AM EST
[#23]
Okay, I'll bite.  I haven't seen the movie yet and don't understand the "Majestic" reference.  Care to elaborate a bit?
Link Posted: 1/22/2008 9:12:24 AM EST
[#24]
I didnt really like the movie.
However I would like to see a good picture of it. I remember thinking it looked alot like the monster in the pit from Retrun of the Jedi.
Link Posted: 1/22/2008 9:15:47 AM EST
[#25]

Quoted:
Okay, I'll bite.  I haven't seen the movie yet and don't understand the "Majestic" reference.  Care to elaborate a bit?


Abrams has stated that the monster is an alien.  "Majestic" is a reference to the supposed Majestic 12 group formed to study UFO and Alien activity on earth.

I just threw that in to see if anybody noticed.

Link Posted: 1/22/2008 9:19:23 AM EST
[#26]
height=8
Quoted:
Why does EVERY SINGLE DISASTER/SUPERHERO MOVIE happen in Manhattan?


Lots of shit to destroy, yo.
Link Posted: 1/23/2008 6:56:06 AM EST
[#27]
How stupid do you have to be, to run TOWARD the monster?  Especially while the Army is poring fire into it!

Link Posted: 1/23/2008 6:56:17 AM EST
[#28]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Why does EVERY SINGLE DISASTER/SUPERHERO MOVIE happen in Manhattan?


Lots of shit to destroy, yo.


Word?
Link Posted: 1/23/2008 7:01:16 AM EST
[#29]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Did you write this or find it on the web?


Wrote it.  Beer helped.



Wow.  Is there anything beer can't do?
Link Posted: 1/23/2008 7:01:45 AM EST
[#30]
I hated Cloverfield.
Link Posted: 1/23/2008 7:24:45 AM EST
[#31]

This is as close to what it looks like as I can find. Kind of a mix of these two. Still looking for a good screen shot from the movie.

Rancor from return of the jedi:



And the ORGA from godzilla
Link Posted: 1/23/2008 8:26:47 AM EST
[#32]

Quoted:
Why does EVERY SINGLE DISASTER/SUPERHERO MOVIE happen in Manhattan?

A giant freak-magnet buried somewhere deep underground?
Link Posted: 1/23/2008 10:26:24 AM EST
[#33]
Screen shots?

Please step away from the monster:





B2 bombing run:




Lunch:


Link Posted: 1/23/2008 10:34:26 AM EST
[#34]
If the monster is still alive I would love for someone to explain the new pictures on www.1-18-08.com .
Link Posted: 1/23/2008 10:39:47 AM EST
[#35]
I was so completely disappointed by this movie.  Total crap.
Link Posted: 1/23/2008 10:43:35 AM EST
[#36]

Quoted:
If the monster is still alive I would love for someone to explain the new pictures on www.1-18-08.com .


Look at the mouth pictured above.  Now, look at the "bloody meat" picture on www.1-18-08.com.  See how they kinda match?

Those are pics of whales the monster had been chewing on.

The original cut of the movie showed the monster getting up, shaking off, jumping in the water and swimming away, after the credits.  

Link Posted: 1/23/2008 10:47:07 AM EST
[#37]
Very nice "report"! I liked the Majestic reference.
Link Posted: 1/23/2008 10:51:38 AM EST
[#38]
How does one keep 800-feet-long monsters that attack NYC top secret?
Link Posted: 1/23/2008 10:59:00 AM EST
[#39]

Quoted:
I was so completely disappointed by this movie.  Total crap.


I sort of agree, I cant stand how everybody sucks off J.J. Abrams. All the guy does is jerk around his audience.
Link Posted: 1/23/2008 11:11:25 AM EST
[#40]
Add NAPALM to the next arsenal. I'm curious to see how a flaming gel sticking on it works. It should be enough to kill the parasites. I was hoping to see flame throwers on those parasites too.
Link Posted: 1/23/2008 11:13:51 AM EST
[#41]
And where were the Power Rangers during this attack?
Link Posted: 1/23/2008 11:14:35 AM EST
[#42]

Quoted:
How does one keep 800-feet-long monsters that attack NYC top secret?


Remember in Men In Black 2 when the torch on the Statue of Liberty did the flashy, memory wiping thing?
Link Posted: 1/23/2008 11:24:25 AM EST
[#43]
Nuke it from orbit...




In reality, that kind of shit would have gotten a nuclear response, even in the middle of friggin NYC.
Link Posted: 1/23/2008 11:29:24 AM EST
[#44]

Quoted:
Nuke it from orbit...




In reality, that kind of shit would have gotten a nuclear response, even in the middle of friggin NYC.


It's the only way to be sure.
Link Posted: 1/23/2008 11:43:37 AM EST
[#45]
You used the word entity 29 times.
Link Posted: 1/23/2008 11:45:54 AM EST
[#46]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I was so completely disappointed by this movie.  Total crap.


I sort of agree, I cant stand how everybody sucks off J.J. Abrams. All the guy does is jerk around his audience.


Some people like to be mentally engaged in what they're watching, not just sit there, stare, and be spoon-fed a story because they're too lazy, or stupid, to think about it or use their imaginations.

Link Posted: 1/23/2008 11:51:37 AM EST
[#47]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Quoted:
I was so completely disappointed by this movie.  Total crap.


I sort of agree, I cant stand how everybody sucks off J.J. Abrams. All the guy does is jerk around his audience.


Some people like to be mentally engaged in what they're watching, not just sit there, stare, and be spoon-fed a story because they're too lazy, or stupid, to think about it or use their imaginations.




Mentally engaged?
By 1-1/2 hours of jarring camera work that made it hard to watch?
The build up to a monster that was lame at best?
Or was it the crappy storyline and "done a hudred times over" save the girl plot?

While I enjoy a movie that keeps me guessing this was not one of them. If you thought it was, maybe you should be giving movie advice.
Link Posted: 1/23/2008 12:02:45 PM EST
[#48]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Quoted:

Quoted:
I was so completely disappointed by this movie.  Total crap.


I sort of agree, I cant stand how everybody sucks off J.J. Abrams. All the guy does is jerk around his audience.


Some people like to be mentally engaged in what they're watching, not just sit there, stare, and be spoon-fed a story because they're too lazy, or stupid, to think about it or use their imaginations.




Mentally engaged?
By 1-1/2 hours of jarring camera work that made it hard to watch?
The build up to a monster that was lame at best?
Or was it the crappy storyline and "done a hudred times over" save the girl plot?

While I enjoy a movie that keeps me guessing this was not one of them. If you thought it was, maybe you should be giving movie advice.


One of the big pulls of the movie (just like with Lost) is all of the web stuff that goes along with/contributes to the story. If you don't think looking it up is worth the time or energy, then you weren't the intended audience and it's no wonder you didn't like it.

And with hundreds, or maybe thousands, of monster movies that have been made, coming up with a monster that's completely original is pretty much never going to happen again, so that's a pretty weak argument. "The monster roared and was as big as a skyscraper, that's so been done before, gawd!"
Link Posted: 1/23/2008 12:12:31 PM EST
[#49]
I wonder what makes you pop when the little entities (ha) bite you?

Marlena got bit and popped in what, five minutes?  That is a little fast for an infection.  It must be some toxin that makes the blood pressure shoot up until you pop.  That could explain her dizziness and bleeding eyes.

 
Link Posted: 1/23/2008 12:16:46 PM EST
[#50]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Did you write this or find it on the web?


Wrote it.  Beer helped.




Thats a surprise.  Wow.  
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