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Posted: 1/10/2003 4:48:57 AM EST
Note: This is a test for men only, and all *real* men know the answers to these questions. However, women will also benefit by reviewing them so they will understand men and thereby enrich their lives. 1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to: A. Present it to the President of the United States. B. Auction it on Ebay. C. Take it apart. ................................................................... 2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youth do you miss the most? A. Innocence B. Leaving the dinner table immediately after wolfing food. C. Cherry Bombs ................................................................... 3. When is it okay to kiss another male? A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded social conventions. B. When he is the Pope. (No, not on the lips) C. When he is your brother, and you are Michael Corleone and this is the only really sportsmanlike way to let him know that, for business reasons, you have to have him killed. ................................................................... 4. In your opinion, the ideal pet is: A. A cat B. A dog C. A dog that eats cats ................................................................... 5. You have been seeing a woman for several years. She is attractive and intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely Sunday afternoon the two of you are taking it easy. You are watching a football game; she is reading the paper, when suddenly, out of the clear blue, she tells you that she thinks she really loves you, but, she can no longer bear the uncertainty of not knowing where the relationship is going. She says she is not asking whether you want to get married, only whether you believe that you have some kind of future together. What do you say? A. That you sincerely believe that the two of you do have a wonderful future, and you're very happy with the way it's developing. B. That although you also have very strong feelings for her, you cannot honestly say that you'll be ready real soon to make a lasting commitment, but you hope she can be patient with you. C. That you cannot believe the Seahawks called a draw play on third and seventeen. ................................................................... 6. Okay, so you have decided that you love a woman and want to spend the rest of your life with her, sharing the joys and sorrows the world has to offer, come what may. How do you tell her? A. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner. B. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her name, and when she turns to you with the sea breeze blowing through her hair and the stars in her eyes, you tell her. C. Tell her what? ................................................................... 7. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill, and asks you to get your three children ready for school. Your first question to her is: A. Do they need anything to eat? B. They're in school already? C. There are three of them? ................................................................... 8. When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran underwear? A. When it has turned the color of a dead whale and developed holes so large that you're not sure which ones were originally intended for your legs. B. When it is down to eighteen loosely connected underwear molecules and has to be handled with tweezers. C. It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A real guy checks the garbage regularly in case somebody, and we are not naming names, is quietly trying to get rid of his underwear. ................................................................... 9. What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation for the fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for forty years before they finally got to the Promised Land? A. He was being tested. B. He needed the time to train them so they could really kick ass when they finally got there. C. He knew where he was going. ................................................................... 10. What is the single greatest achievement of the human species? A. Democracy B. The remote control. C. Internal Combustion Answers: All the answers are "C".
Link Posted: 1/10/2003 4:54:05 AM EST
[Last Edit: 1/10/2003 4:58:16 AM EST by Fruit_of_the_Looms]
ROTFLMAO!!! What a great way to start the weekend! Thanks. Oh BTW, Real Men don't take tests. [;)]
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