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Posted: 5/20/2005 2:18:55 PM EST
[Last Edit: 5/20/2005 2:32:12 PM EST by hatebreed]
My 21 year old sister just moved here.....and recently my 29 year old "buddy" decided he wanted to date her. So after some dates that "weren't dates", a week goes by...she's out til 5am and such. It's obvious what is going on. Never a "hey, I like your sister" not a word. Then today he calls like everything is cool. I said "yeah, I aint gonna be doing much hanging out with you."

He asked why, I said why the fuck do you think? Anyway, I basically told the dude to fuck off. What kind of REAL friend wants to fuck yer sister? Am I right here or what? Personally I thought I was erring on the side of kindness not beating his ass for being a sneaky punk.


ETA: He's welcome to date her, we're just not friends anymore.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:20:22 PM EST
Too protective.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:21:52 PM EST
Is he an ok dude? It is your job to protect your sis if you know the guy is a douchebag. If she comes down with an std, she will kick your ass for not warning her
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:22:00 PM EST
Definitely fuck his sister, or mom. What's fair is fair.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:22:14 PM EST
It depends on what she looks like. Post a pic of your sister so we may better analyze your situation.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:23:02 PM EST
If you can call him your friend I don't see why it would be a problem.

This reminds me of some scenes in the movie Scarface. My buddy has a good looking sister and when I accidentally look at her in front of him I can hear that damned music.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:23:30 PM EST
Is she an adult?

If so, it's her business.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:24:00 PM EST

Originally Posted By Zippy_The_Wonderdog:
Too protective.




I don't care if they date. That is her business. I just think a REAL friend would have the courtesy to say something before he starts trying to fondle my fucking sister. It's not about the dating, it's about the lack of respect shown to me.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:25:28 PM EST
He's probably afraid of your reaction. If he thought he was going to lose and/or fight a friend over it, I'm sure he wouldn't feel comfortable telling you right off the bat.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:26:32 PM EST

Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:
Is she an adult?

If so, it's her business.




+1
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:26:38 PM EST
Ok, let me rephrase this one. If you had a buddy....would you consider his sister fair game? I look at it like this....you know 80% of relationships go nowhere. Then sis comes crying to me what a dick he is. So he knew right off the bat there was an 80% chance we wouldn't be firends in the long run. I see that as a character flaw....but after this, let the poll results fall where they may! I came for opinions, just wanted all relavent info there.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:27:02 PM EST
Unless you have been fucking your sister and now you are jealous get over it.

You are not one of those inbreeders are you?

IF this is between 2 consenting adults then you have no stake in it, unless the first statement above is true.

Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:28:01 PM EST

Originally Posted By olds442tyguy:
He's probably afraid of your reaction. If he thought he was going to lose and/or fight a friend over it, I'm sure he wouldn't feel comfortable telling you right off the bat.



EXACTLY! If he thought he was going to lose or fight a friend over it....why is he doing it? It certainly shows he cares more about dicking my sister than us remaining friends...wouldn't you say?
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:31:50 PM EST
Does he actually like your sister? If you really wanted to fuck with him, you would have invited them both out together at the same time and confronted them. If it's just sex, that's messed up but find out first before you judge the situation.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:31:54 PM EST

Originally Posted By Zippy_The_Wonderdog:
Too protective.



+1

A lot of my friends dated my sister. I didn't think it was cool, but it was because I thought:
"Who the f@&k would want to hang out with my sister?"
The only one I can think of that wasn't a friend of mine first is her husband, whom I only met over
a year later and was a great friend from the get go.
Thinking back and being a little egotistical, I think she made the right choices after all they were
good enough to be my friends.

Your friend and your sister hadn't said anything to you because they were probably anticipating
a hysterical reaction wether they were bumping uglies or not.


Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:35:12 PM EST

Originally Posted By olds442tyguy:
Does he actually like your sister?



Well he aint gonna say if he doesn't now is he? He has one girl pregnant right now.....they might have broke up last week. I wasn't trying to let that color my opinion of him since he's ponying up to help raise the child. Kinda weird none the less.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:35:47 PM EST

Originally Posted By SHIPSNIPE1:

Your friend and your sister hadn't said anything to you because they were probably anticipating
a hysterical reaction wether they were bumping uglies or not.




And it sounds like that is exactly what they got. If she is an adult, you have no dog in the fight.

Bob
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:35:47 PM EST

Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:
Is she an adult?

If so, it's her business.



+1000

.....besides, never let a woman come between friends; ANY WOMAN.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:37:06 PM EST

Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:
Is she an adult?

If so, it's her business.




+1
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:37:14 PM EST

Originally Posted By hatebreed:

Originally Posted By olds442tyguy:
Does he actually like your sister?



Well he aint gonna say if he doesn't now is he? He has one girl pregnant right now.....they might have broke up last week. I wasn't trying to let that color my opinion of him since he's ponying up to help raise the child. Kinda weird none the less.



So would you be less upset if the pregnancy did not exist?

Are you looking at your friend as just adding another notch in his belt?
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:37:45 PM EST
[Last Edit: 5/20/2005 2:38:12 PM EST by Master_of_Orion]
If I had a little sister...

And my friend wanted to date her.

If they were simmilar in age.
If He asked me first.
If he was serious and not just screwing her.

Then I would alow it. with my blessing...

If any one those... Especialy the last one were not true than Man he would need to watch out for me. Or I just might...
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:38:19 PM EST
Well they both know what they're doing. If you're going to be mad at anyone, it can't be just your buddy. Let it go and see how it progresses. If anything bad happens, intervene. If not, let them enjoy each others company.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:39:39 PM EST
hatebreed talks to his rifle.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:41:02 PM EST
[Last Edit: 5/20/2005 2:43:05 PM EST by sharky30]
he'd have to ask first and not just start banging, and even then it would depend on the friend. a few of my friends I wouldn't have a problem with, but a few others I would, especially my one not really close friend who constantly cheats on who ever he is dating at the time
but I don't have any sisters
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:41:29 PM EST
[Last Edit: 5/20/2005 2:42:49 PM EST by hatebreed]

Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:

Originally Posted By hatebreed:

Originally Posted By olds442tyguy:
Does he actually like your sister?



Well he aint gonna say if he doesn't now is he? He has one girl pregnant right now.....they might have broke up last week. I wasn't trying to let that color my opinion of him since he's ponying up to help raise the child. Kinda weird none the less.



So would you be less upset if the pregnancy did not exist?

Are you looking at your friend as just adding another notch in his belt?



I might be. There's kind of a line there where I think the girl still thinks he is her boyfriend. As to the adult part....yeah, she's an adult. But she is a young adult, who I let move here into my house, rent free for the sole purpose of improving her life. I got her a job at my wifes business with the sole understanding she would try and become excellent at that job, with the possibilty of making $1000 a week in commission for a part time week. Staying at his house til 5am, him with a kid by someone else on the way, fucking going into work all tired from late night make out sessions aint exactly my idea of taking care of priorites. I just think it is hilbilly bullshit all around. Again though, they are BOTH welcome to do what they want....I want to know if it's wrong for me to cut him off.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:45:12 PM EST

Originally Posted By hatebreed:

Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:

Originally Posted By hatebreed:

Originally Posted By olds442tyguy:
Does he actually like your sister?



Well he aint gonna say if he doesn't now is he? He has one girl pregnant right now.....they might have broke up last week. I wasn't trying to let that color my opinion of him since he's ponying up to help raise the child. Kinda weird none the less.



So would you be less upset if the pregnancy did not exist?

Are you looking at your friend as just adding another notch in his belt?



I might be. There's kind of a line there where I think the girl still thinks he is her boyfriend. As to the adult part....yeah, she's an adult. But she is a young adult, who I let move here into my house, rent free for the sole purpose of improving her life. I got her a job at my wifes business with the sole understanding she would try and become excellent at that job, with the possibilty of making $1000 a week in commission for a part time week. Staying at his house til 5am, him with a kid by someone else on the way, fucking going into work all tired from late night make out sessions aint exactly my idea of taking care of priorites. I just think it is hilbilly bullshit all around. Again though, they are BOTH welcome to do what they want....I want to know if it's wrong for me to cut him off.



I would not cut him off. Sit him down and have a few beers and TALK.

But if your sister is staying at your house then she should follow some sort of rules.
I would not want someone staying at my house and just coming and going at all hours of the day and night. It's not POLITE.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:45:59 PM EST

Originally Posted By hatebreed:
I want to know if it's wrong for me to cut him off.



That could make things alot worse. If you're upset about this, how would you react if she moved in with him. I'm telling you, find a way to talk to both of them at seperate times without them communicating about it, and find out if they like each other or if they're just knockin' boots.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:49:30 PM EST

Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:

But if your sister is staying at your house then she should follow some sort of rules.
I would not want someone staying at my house and just coming and going at all hours of the day and night. It's not POLITE.



Yeah, and going to his house in my car no less. I don't know, I figure let her have natural consequences. If she fucks off late and does bad at work, she gets fired, just like anybody else. If she gets involved in a hillbilly love triangle, i don't want to hear her whine when it backfires..

As to talking with him.....I don't really have anything to say. What should I say? "You better be nice to my sister!" I think that is kind of a given if we ever were friends at all. All I know is where I grew up, unless you REALLLY liked a buddies sister, that shit was off limits. And even if you did REALLY like her, you better be damn careful how you tread.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:50:10 PM EST
Relax, you said he was an OK guy and she's a big girl.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:51:13 PM EST
If you like the guy, let it go.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:52:02 PM EST
If you don't mind me asking, how old is your sister and your buddy. I definately agree she should be more respectful to your generousity. Tell her she needs to be coming home at decent times especially if she's using your car.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:52:27 PM EST

Originally Posted By olds442tyguy:

Originally Posted By hatebreed:
I want to know if it's wrong for me to cut him off.



That could make things alot worse. If you're upset about this, how would you react if she moved in with him. I'm telling you, find a way to talk to both of them at seperate times without them communicating about it, and find out if they like each other or if they're just knockin' boots.



Just to clarify again, I'm not upset they are dating. His pansy assed, hide it from me, sneaky, smooth guy bullshit is why he's over with. If you aint got the balls to tell me straight up you intend to date my sister you don't have enough character to be a friend of mine. It just seems like there is a code of conduct for this sort of thing, ya know, where you don't disrespect your friend to fuck his sister. If she moves in with him...that's cool. He can pay her rent.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:54:09 PM EST

Originally Posted By hatebreed:

Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:

But if your sister is staying at your house then she should follow some sort of rules.
I would not want someone staying at my house and just coming and going at all hours of the day and night. It's not POLITE.



Yeah, and going to his house in my car no less. I don't know, I figure let her have natural consequences. If she fucks off late and does bad at work, she gets fired, just like anybody else. If she gets involved in a hillbilly love triangle, i don't want to hear her whine when it backfires..

As to talking with him.....I don't really have anything to say. What should I say? "You better be nice to my sister!" I think that is kind of a given if we ever were friends at all. All I know is where I grew up, unless you REALLLY liked a buddies sister, that shit was off limits. And even if you did REALLY like her, you better be damn careful how you tread.



Tell him how you feel, that's what you tell him. Then discuss it from there.

Sometimes we who have little sisters have to realize they just want some.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:57:30 PM EST

Originally Posted By olds442tyguy:
If you don't mind me asking, how old is your sister and your buddy. I definately agree she should be more respectful to your generousity. Tell her she needs to be coming home at decent times especially if she's using your car.



She is 21, he is 29. As for coming and going, we are all late nighters. I'm more concerned that she focus on doing an excellent job at work and get ahead in life than focus all that effort on playing touchy feel with boys. I don't like trying to do something for someone and them not appreciate it. Before I'd tell her what to do I'd just tell her she blew it and send her back to mom. As everyone has said, she is a big girl and is way past house rules and warnings. As for the car and all, she is respectful, puts in gas, takes good care of it and with my permission. We have "extra" cars, so it's basically a non issue. I have encouraged her to borrow mine when she needs to and save up for a nice new car of her own instead of the junker she can probably afford right now.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:58:47 PM EST
I married my buddie's little sister.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 2:59:51 PM EST
[Last Edit: 5/20/2005 3:00:41 PM EST by hatebreed]

Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:
Sometimes we who have little sisters have to realize they just want some.



Haha! This I have realized man. Also, just for further info. She dated another buddy. He was cool about it, respectful and no hard feelings. Before that went anywhere she decided he was a dork and dumped him though. None the less, the key is respect man. He should have had the balls to act like a man about it, like the other guy did.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 3:00:27 PM EST
[Last Edit: 5/20/2005 3:02:22 PM EST by olds442tyguy]
21 is still pretty young. Maybe you could have your wife or another family member talk to her? Tell her she needs to be serious and keep things mature and responsible. Same goes for your buddy. He may want to keep it hush hush, but that's not the right thing to do. Let him know in a friend to friend chat that you know what's going on and you just want the truth.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 3:02:27 PM EST
I wouldn't have a friend that I wouldn't want to date my sister. If someone is good enough to be my friend- that is the kind of guy I want my sister to be with!
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 3:02:51 PM EST
If he's a freind then he is probably a good guy that would protect your sister at all costs. Better you know something about the guy then some asshat she might run into somewhere else.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 3:04:22 PM EST
My .02

You're too protective.

Anyone I would consider a friend I would be more than in favor of them dating my sister. Because I know they are good people. If they aren't good people and I wouldn't want my sister dating them I don't consider them friends, they might be aquaintances but not friends.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 3:11:03 PM EST

Originally Posted By Mead:
My .02

You're too protective.

Anyone I would consider a friend I would be more than in favor of them dating my sister. Because I know they are good people. If they aren't good people and I wouldn't want my sister dating them I don't consider them friends, they might be aquaintances but not friends.



Good analogy. Big difference between friends and aquaintances.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 3:14:31 PM EST

If the guy doesn't deserve a woman of your sister's caliber, then the clear answer is no, it's not ok.

If the guy is decent and you might even approve of him dating her if he was a stranger, it's still no - because chances are high that in a week, month, year, or decade, they'll break up, and it won't be very pleasant, and then you'll be stuck between your friend and your sister. Your friend should realize the possibility that this outcome would harm your friendship and stay away to begin with.

Bottom line, freinds don't date relatives of freinds.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 3:19:30 PM EST

Originally Posted By hatebreed:

Originally Posted By Zippy_The_Wonderdog:
Too protective.




I don't care if they date. That is her business. I just think a REAL friend would have the courtesy to say something before he starts trying to fondle my fucking sister. It's not about the dating, it's about the lack of respect shown to me.



Personally, I think you're right on the money.

Etiquette dictates that he should have spoken with you first and made sure it was cool.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 3:24:35 PM EST

Originally Posted By Evil_ATF:

Originally Posted By hatebreed:

Originally Posted By Zippy_The_Wonderdog:
Too protective.




I don't care if they date. That is her business. I just think a REAL friend would have the courtesy to say something before he starts trying to fondle my fucking sister. It's not about the dating, it's about the lack of respect shown to me.



Personally, I think you're right on the money.

Etiquette dictates that he should have spoken with you first and made sure it was cool.



I agree and think the so called friend is being a chump. You have a good head on your shoulders from what I have read. Fuck that overprotective BS it isn't about that.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 3:26:22 PM EST
doesn't matter much to me, everyone has aleady slept with my little sister anyways
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 3:29:48 PM EST
Twas none your business.

Her choice.

Now on the other hand had your friend made advances that were not welcomed and kept it up...
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 3:36:04 PM EST
[Last Edit: 5/20/2005 3:37:42 PM EST by raven]
I dated my friend's sister but we didn't fuck. We went to the same school, she's sweet and good-looking, thought we were cut from the same cloth, but we weren't, found that out from dating her. My friends thought it was weird I was dating her. Her brother (my good friend) never said a word or expressed disapproval.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 3:39:27 PM EST
[Last Edit: 5/20/2005 3:43:27 PM EST by Redcap]
My closest friend was elated when I hooked up with his little sister. He had no knowledge before coming over to my house one evening and walking in the back door, only to see his sister walk out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel. He didn't even seem that surprised!
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 3:39:30 PM EST

You've got the right to be pissed. The guy is being shady. Sounds like your sister may be thinking that since you're the cool big brother she's allowed to get away with some things. She needs rules. I know, acting as brother and guardian is not easy.

My sister has hooked up with plenty of my friends. I don't care too much, she's 27. But when I hear of a guy that disrespected her, then we're not friends.

You're going to have to deal with your sister being with dudes. I could see how you still see her as a child. But, do remember the fun you had at 21 staying out till 5am with someone new.

Talk to her. You don't have to talk to your friend. He created this. If he wants to fix it, he can. But he's a chump.
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 3:43:51 PM EST
I could care less.

If my friend just wanted to bang my sister and she let him, that's her choice isn't it? If he told me all he wanted to do was bang my sister, that's his choice isn't it? If he's banged other girls just to bang them, I should know he would want to just bang my sister shouldn't I?

Or maybe they just really like eachother, in which case it's no different than above, really none of my business.

If he started smacking her around, then it's my business!
Link Posted: 5/20/2005 3:46:06 PM EST
Wasn't this an episode on Friends?

Seriousley, don't loose a friend over it. They're both adults.
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