Your Mamma is soooo ugly.......

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Your Mamma is soooo ugly.......

Posted: 9/21/2001 1:37:04 PM EDT

her wooden leg has branches!

Posted: 9/21/2001 1:47:03 PM EDT

[#1]

Yo mama's so ugly, the last time she heard a whistle was when she got hit by a train.

Posted: 9/21/2001 1:58:08 PM EDT

[#2]

----we had to put a sheet over her head so night could creep upon her.

Posted: 9/21/2001 4:31:49 PM EDT

[#3]

You mama is so fat that when she wears a Malcom X shirt, Helicopters try to land on her.
She is so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hotdogs
GG

Posted: 9/21/2001 4:35:09 PM EDT

[#4]

"Your Mamma is soooo ugly......." The madman would do her.[:D] mmk

Posted: 9/21/2001 4:43:21 PM EDT

[#5]

Your momma's teeth are so yellow i can't believe it's not butter!!

[smoke]

Posted: 9/21/2001 4:45:24 PM EDT

[#6]

Your mama is so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck!

Posted: 9/21/2001 4:53:39 PM EDT

[#7]

If someone would have saved all of the splinters picked out of your momma's ass from turnin' tricks on bar room floors they would have enough lumber to build a new whorehouse.

Posted: 9/21/2001 5:01:24 PM EDT

[#8]

Yo mama's so ugly, she has to sneak up on her makeup.

Posted: 9/21/2001 5:02:33 PM EDT

[#9]

I hope you recognize your mom when you get home.....I shaved her back!

Posted: 9/21/2001 5:10:20 PM EDT

[#10]

Somebody is going to get hurt if they talk about my big, fat, ugly mama.

Posted: 9/21/2001 5:12:51 PM EDT

[#11]

Your Momma's so dirty, the bathwater jumps out and says "I'll wait".

[smoke]

Posted: 9/21/2001 5:12:58 PM EDT

[#12]

Yo mamma so fat, you have to grease the doorway and toss a donut through opening to get her out of the kitchen.

Posted: 9/21/2001 5:13:30 PM EDT

[#13]

Yo mamma so fat, she get cut, she bleeds crisco.

Posted: 9/21/2001 5:15:08 PM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:
Yo mamma so fat, you have to grease the doorway and toss a donut through opening to get her out of the kitchen.

View Quote

LMBFUMAO (laughing my big, fat, ugly mama ass off)

Posted: 9/21/2001 5:22:34 PM EDT

[#15]

your momma so fat her blood type is rocky road

Posted: 9/21/2001 5:23:28 PM EDT

[#16]

Yo Mama so fat, when she dance, the band skips.

Posted: 9/21/2001 5:27:27 PM EDT

[#17]

I saw Yo Mama kicking a can down the road the other day. I asked her what she was doing, she said "moving".

Posted: 9/21/2001 5:43:17 PM EDT

[#18]

Your momma is so fat, you have to take 2 planes and a bus just to get on her good side.

Posted: 9/21/2001 6:08:11 PM EDT

[#19]

Yo mamma is sooo dumb...She got locked in the pantry and starved to death.

Posted: 9/21/2001 7:39:41 PM EDT

[#20]

Yo mamas so ugly she'd make a train back up and take a dirt road!

Posted: 9/21/2001 7:44:45 PM EDT

[#21]

Not to hijack this thread, but did I ever tell you guys about the gay whale and the submarine?........
.....It bit off the end and sucked all the seamen out!

Posted: 9/21/2001 7:56:01 PM EDT

[#22]

I hate it when people start out by saying, "Not to hijack this thread", and then hijack the thread. But, since you did it here you go.....Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? He heard the Ref was blowing fouls.

Posted: 9/21/2001 8:45:55 PM EDT

[#23]

Your mama is SO OLD...

I told her to act her age and she died.

Posted: 9/21/2001 8:56:04 PM EDT

[#24]

Your mamas soooo ugly...she caught TREETOPs backpack on fire?

Posted: 9/21/2001 9:12:31 PM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:
Your mamas soooo ugly...she caught TREETOPs backpack on fire?

View Quote

I pity any child born from that woman.

Posted: 9/21/2001 9:27:13 PM EDT

[#26]

Yo' mama tried to sneak up on me the other day - it didn't work - I heared her knuckles adraggin' and took off!

Posted: 9/21/2001 9:28:24 PM EDT

[#27]

yo mamma is so ugly, she used to get you drunk just so you'd suckle her!

Posted: 9/21/2001 10:14:27 PM EDT

[#28]

...fat, she's got more chins than a Chinese phone book.

...fat, when she wears corduroys, her thighs start them on fire.

...old, she owes Jesus a quarter.

...ugly, she has to sneak up on a glass of water just to get a drink.

...ugly, it's against the law to kiss her in 43 states.

Posted: 9/21/2001 10:48:50 PM EDT

[#29]

Yo mamma's so hairy,,, the bitch has to shave her legs with a chainsaw.

Yo mamma's so fat,,, when you took the bitch to sea world? They thought she was the main attraction.

Yo mamma's so ugly??? When you put a porkchop around the bitch's neck so the dogs would play with her, the dogs thought SHE was the porkchop.

Posted: 9/21/2001 11:15:23 PM EDT

[#30]

Your Mama's so ugly, your grandma had to feed her with a slingshot!

Posted: 9/21/2001 11:36:28 PM EDT

[#31]

Your mama is so fat, when she broke her leg, gravy came out.

Your mama is so fat, you say "Kool-Aid", she comes bustin' through the wall!

Your mama is so fat, she goes to KFC and orders the bucket on the roof!!!

Your mama is so fat, she looks at the menu at Denny's and says... "OK!"

Your mama is so fat, when her pager goes off, people think she's backin' up!

Your mama is so fat, when she lies on the beach, green peace thinks she's beached.

Your mama is so fat, she's got her own zip code.

Your mama is so fat, I took a detour around her... and ran outta gas!

_
FS

Posted: 9/21/2001 11:39:04 PM EDT

[#32]

...and the grand finale!!!

[b]Your mama is SO FAT... it takes her TWO TRIPS TO HAUL ASS!!![/b]

LMAO

_
FS

Posted: 9/22/2001 4:14:35 AM EDT

[#33]

Damn, I been wantin' to do this for a long time, but didn't know if it would play. Guess I missed the bus!

Hey Jewbroni: your mama is so ugly, the rabbi need a blindfold for her circumcision!
[devil]

Posted: 9/22/2001 10:13:43 AM EDT

[#34]

Ah, there ain't no "Grand Finale" to mama jokes! People just keep makin' funny ones up - cause your mama's so fat that the beach she goes to every weekend outlawed gray swimmin' suits! They didn't want another harpoonin' attempt!

And people keep askin' what the difference between your mama and bigfoot is... I tell 'em one weighs 486 lbs and smells, the OTHER one has big feet!

Posted: 9/22/2001 10:30:40 AM EDT

[#35]

Your mama so shanky she get's sour dough yeast infections.

Your mama so ugly they had to tie a T-bone stake around here neck so the dog would play with her.

Your Mamas teeth are so yellow when se get's up and yawns in the morning traffic slows down.

Posted: 9/22/2001 10:45:54 AM EDT

[#36]

Your mama's so ugly her nickname in school was [/size=6]DAMN

Posted: 9/22/2001 11:07:37 AM EDT

[#37]

My dick is so big it has a 50 yard line.

My dick is so big it takes 4 fat women and a team of clidesdales to jack me off.

My dick is so big it has casters.

My dick is so big the head has only seen my balls in pictures.

My dick is so big there's still snow on it in the summer time.

My dick is so big I have to call it Mr. Dick in front of company.

My dick is so big I'm its bitch.

My dick is so big it has a dick, and my dick's dick is bigger than your dick.

Posted: 9/22/2001 11:13:17 AM EDT

[#38]

Oh yeah, and yo momma is so fat, homeless people live between the rolls.

Yo momma is so fat, Jimmy Hoffa's body is stuck in the crack of her ass.

Yo momma is so fat, she keeps all her money under her titties.

Yo momma is so fat, when she goes to the gynocolygist it takes 5 doctors and a team of cave explorers.

Posted: 9/22/2001 11:57:41 AM EDT

[#39]

Yo mamas so fat she irons her pants in the driveway

Posted: 9/22/2001 12:40:05 PM EDT

[#40]

--is so fat, you have to roll over 3 times to get off the beeeyatch.

--is so fat, the DEA busted her for carrying around 15 pounds of crack!

--I could have been your DADDY, but the dog beat me up the stairs.

--(if Oprah Winfrey's your momma...) You know, Oprah Winfrey DIDN'T lose weight, they just widened the aisles.