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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 8/28/2001 5:13:56 AM EDT
YOU KNOW YOU ARE FROM SOUTH CAROLINA WHEN Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway near Whitmire. “Vacation” means going to the family reunion. You’ve seen all the big bands 10 years after they were popular. You measure distance in minutes. You know several people who have hit a deer. Your school classes were canceled because of cold. Your school classes were canceled because of heat. You’ve ever had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day. You think ethanol makes your truck “run a lot better.” Stores don’t have shopping carts; they have buggies. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year. You use “fix” as a verb. Example: I am fixing to fix dinner. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain,or animal (including pesky insects!). You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. (And your car as well!) You carry jumper cables in your car ...for your OWN car. You know what “cow tipping” and “snipe hunting” are. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent. The local papers cover national and international news on one page but require 6 pages for sports. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday. You find 90 degrees F “a little warm.” You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and Christmas. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1,000 or more. (Shoot, lots of towns with fewer have one!) Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite pastime known as “goin wal-martin” or off to “Wally World.” You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather. A carbonated soft drink isn’t a soda, cola, or pop ... it’s a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. You recognize that cheese grits and catfish nuggets is a meal that must have been bestowed upon the people by the Lord Himself. You can be satisfied with a meal consisting only of a hunk of bread with flavored flour and water (a delicacy known as “biscuits n’ gravy”).
Link Posted: 8/28/2001 9:56:29 AM EDT
YOU KNOW YOU ARE FROM SOUTH CAROLINA WHEN - Hey, that's not funny. Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway near Whitmire. - The other day when I was leaving Clinton to head to Prosperity (old joke, I know) I was delayed a good two minutes by a traffic jam just like that. I complained about it to my wife for the next three days. “Vacation” means going to the family reunion. - Got to get away some how. Plus, they're usually in places with cheap motel rooms unlike the beach or Orlando or Gatlinburg. For that matter, most of us from South Carolina have never actually stayed in Mytle Beach. It's much cheaper to rent a room in a slum to either the north or south of the beach. We let the Canadians pay for those "high-dollar" rooms. You’ve seen all the big bands 10 years after they were popular. - The band Kansas played last spring here at a city festival. They rocked. You measure distance in minutes. - I live about 10 minutes from Spartanburg and 25 from Greenville. You know several people who have hit a deer. - And, served them for dinner. Your school classes were canceled because of cold. - You can't expect students to learn when the classroom is below 65. Your school classes were canceled because of heat. - Ditto except w/ above 100. What's your point? You’ve ever had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day. - More than 10 days per year. I think it's a factor of the lack of insulation in our homes, and our refusal to let the weather dictate to us what appropriate clothing is. You think ethanol makes your truck “run a lot better.” - Don't know, my truck doesn't run to try it. Stores don’t have shopping carts; they have buggies. - Bi-Lo's and Wally-Mart's have buggies. What's your point? You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year. - It's better for the engine to leave it running than to keep stopping and restarting it. Plus, some people just don't know if their car is going to start back if they do stop the engine. You use “fix” as a verb. Example: I am fixing to fix dinner. - And, do it 5 times per converstation without realizing it. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain,or animal (including pesky insects!). - The Bubba festival wasn't named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal. Or, was it? You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. (And your car as well!) - Because we expect the criminals to have some shame. If we see them, they won't hurt us. You carry jumper cables in your car ...for your OWN car. - Always prepared, what's your point? You never know when your 15 year old battery is going to decide to prematurely die. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco. - Maybe salt should be included twice. We use lots of that even on vegetables. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent. - They do. The local papers cover national and international news on one page but require 6 pages for sports. - 6 pages for national sports and another 6 for local high school football. You find 90 degrees F “a little warm.” - It's a good chance to go cut the grass w/o sweating too much.
Link Posted: 8/28/2001 9:57:02 AM EDT
(cont) You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and Christmas. - Christmas can be chilly if you don't own any long sleeve shirts or warm jackets. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1,000 or more. (Shoot, lots of towns with fewer have one!) - Some non-towns have one, like at an intersection between two well traveled (10+ cars per hour) roads that aren't near a town. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite pastime known as “goin wal-martin” or off to “Wally World.” - Got to buy the things we need. What's your point? You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather. - At 70 degrees, my wife thinks it's time to carry a light jacket, because "I might get a chill." A carbonated soft drink isn’t a soda, cola, or pop ... it’s a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. - Coke, God's gift to man to help us overcome 100+ degree temperatures. Well, that and sweet tea. You recognize that cheese grits and catfish nuggets is a meal that must have been bestowed upon the people by the Lord Himself. - You forgot shrimp and grits. BTW, real shrimp and grits has gravy on it. Also, any chopped-up piece of animal deep fried into a nugget is a good meal, not just catfish. You can be satisfied with a meal consisting only of a hunk of bread with flavored flour and water (a delicacy known as “biscuits n’ gravy”). - The right gravy CAN be a good meal. You put enough chunks of sausage in something, and it's just going to be good. Like I said, I don't think your post was funny. :)
Link Posted: 8/28/2001 10:08:11 AM EDT
You'r wrong ! You are talking about Arizona.
Link Posted: 8/28/2001 10:12:34 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/28/2001 10:12:53 AM EDT by Lihr]
You know several people who have hit a deer. Your school classes were canceled because of cold. Your school classes were canceled because of heat. You’ve ever had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day. I live in North Dakota and at least these apply for me. [sniper]
Link Posted: 8/28/2001 10:17:17 AM EDT
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Thats soooooooo funny I gess people from the South are big fat butt heads!LOL! [:(!]Don't let me see you down here,I have not feed the Gators yet.
Link Posted: 8/28/2001 10:26:24 AM EDT
A couple of Alabama hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls > to > the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back > in > his head. > > The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the > operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" > > The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy. I can > help. First, let's make sure he's dead." > > ....There is a silence, then a shot is heard. > The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says, "OK, now what?"
Link Posted: 8/28/2001 10:27:39 AM EDT
A couple of Alabama hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls > to > the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back > in > his head. > > The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the > operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" > > The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy. I can > help. First, let's make sure he's dead." > > ....There is a silence, then a shot is heard. > The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says, "OK, now what?"
Link Posted: 8/28/2001 10:28:36 AM EDT
HeHeHe!!!! Game - Set - Match! :D
Link Posted: 8/28/2001 10:30:16 AM EDT
Originally Posted By garandman: A couple of Alabama hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls > to > the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back > in > his head. > > The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the > operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" > > The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy. I can > help. First, let's make sure he's dead." > > ....There is a silence, then a shot is heard. > The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says, "OK, now what?"
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LOL Words can not describe how true it is. Good old Alibama, 5 million people, 15 last names. [sniper]
Link Posted: 8/28/2001 10:34:37 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Lihr: You know several people who have hit a deer.
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I live in VA and damned near hit a deer myself! But then again, Virginia IS south of the Mason-Dixon line....
Link Posted: 8/28/2001 10:38:01 AM EDT
Most of that would be true of anyone who doesn't live in New York City, Chicago, or Los Angeles. This morning the Temp was 55 in Peoria, IL, and now the temp is approaching 90. Colorado high-country is even worse. When I go backpacking, I wake up to frost, but by noon the temp hits 85 degrees! As for wildlife, nothing tastes better than Deer off the Grill!
Link Posted: 8/28/2001 10:39:10 AM EDT
My mother, brother, and a couple of my cousins have hit deer. I have almost hit several myself. There isnt a decent size city for over120 miles from here. Its all farm land and full of deer! kind of sucks [sniper]
Link Posted: 8/28/2001 10:59:53 AM EDT
BTW I am from South Carolina! I Love my grits, eggs over easy and country ham for breakfast.I have sweet tea in my veins. Bye the way to all people north of the Mason Dixon line and west of the Mississippi River. (and Florida also)putting sugar in the tea at the table is NOT the same as sweat tea. ;)
Link Posted: 8/28/2001 11:39:34 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/28/2001 11:40:20 AM EDT by thebeekeeper1]
Link Posted: 8/28/2001 11:43:58 AM EDT
Hey Garandman your wrong ! A true Alabamian would have shot twice. We always make sure something is really dead. I will have to admit it was a funny joke. Take Care. Moose
Link Posted: 8/28/2001 11:57:26 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Moose41: Hey Garandman your wrong ! A true Alabamian would have shot twice. We always make sure something is really dead. I will have to admit it was a funny joke. Take Care. Moose
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I've also heard it told 'bout West Virginians. My wifes family is from there, and its tooooo true.
Link Posted: 8/28/2001 12:08:35 PM EDT
I [u]must[/u] be from the South! I didn't find a damn thing wrong with any of those examples. Eric The(Forget?Hell!)Hun[>]:)]
Link Posted: 8/28/2001 12:22:51 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Breugel: putting sugar in the tea at the table is NOT the same as sweat tea. ;)
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AMEN TO THAT. My family originates in Alabama and Tennessee so I feel your pain living here in Ohio. NO ONE knows anything about sweet tea. Better yet, no one knows anything about mixing sweet tea and lemonade. Now that's a good southern mix.
Link Posted: 8/28/2001 12:24:13 PM EDT
Originally Posted By McUZI last year on AK-47.net: [b]North?[/b] Honda Civics, and Kawasaki Ninja's [b]McSouth?[/b] Chevys and Harleys [b]North:[/b] Cow-tounge sandwiches, a light Merlot, and Bach. [b]McSouth:[/b] Ribs, Beer, and Molly Hatchet. [b]North?[/b] Antique Percussion Revolvers, Fine Perazzi Shotguns, and pretty display cases. [b]McSouth?[/b] Ak's, Colt Pythons, and more time shootin our guns rather than admirin' 'em. [b]Yankees say:[/b] "Flaaaaahriah [b]McDixieboys say:[/b] Flo(r)duh ("R" optionial) [b]McSouth?[/b] "Daddy, I done got knocked up" "Dammit girl, who did it?" "Billy-Joe" [b]North?[/b] "Father, i'm pregnant" "Well, darling, who is responsible?" [b]***EDITED***[/b] [b]McSouth?[/b] Church on Sunday. [b]North?[/b] Synagogue on Saturday [b]North?[/b] Jerry Springer. :eek: [b]McSouth?[/b] Jerry Miculeck :) [b]McSouth?[/b] Pretty Girls. [b]North?[/b] Jerry-curls. [b]North?[/b] "...racism is bad. They [i][b]all[/i][/b] aren't that way..." [b]McSouth?[/b] [b]***EDITED***[/b] [b]In the McSouth,[/b] Granny's armadillo shell and palm branch stew is a cure for the common cold. What we call "Alternative Medicine" [b]In the north,[/b] "life partners" William and Thomas adopt a young Honduran boy. What y'all call an "Alternative Lifestyle" [b]North?[/b] Full of "swimmin pools and movie stars. [b]South?[/b] Full of Yankee fools and Racin Cars. [b]South?[/b] Beers [b]North?[/b] Queers So, y'all Yankees can keep what you got. Dosen't look like much to me anyway. Hell. If the north was so damn great, why do y'all come to Flaaaahridah when you get old??
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Link Posted: 8/28/2001 12:28:20 PM EDT
"If that's true, then what are people from even farther south, who can't even figure out how to vote?? Hu we can vote just fine my man it's just you dick headed yankes that can't figure we voted. Just keep Bill Daly up there with you.
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