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Posted: 1/16/2015 10:25:30 PM EST
Somehow it turns out that you were Kim Jong-Il's unknown 4th son. Kim Jong-Un has an unfortunate accident and you find yourself proclaimed as the new dictator for life in North Korea. What do you do?
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:27:08 PM EST
booze

bitches


make some decent movies





bout it
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:28:11 PM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By NUCdt04:
booze

bitches


make some decent movies





bout it
View Quote


What directors would you kidnap?
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:29:05 PM EST
I fuck a few Asians and defect
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:29:18 PM EST
Free the fuck out of North Korea, and turn over North Korea to South Korea as a huge middle fucking finger to the Ruskies and Chinese.
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:30:46 PM EST
[Last Edit: 1/16/2015 10:31:18 PM EST by AESteele]
I would definitely have a sweet shooting range with some full Auto and destructive devices
ETA: and some sideways poon.
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:30:47 PM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Valintino:
Free the fuck out of North Korea, and turn over North Korea to South Korea as a huge middle fucking finger to the Ruskies and Chinese.
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You probably just got yourself killed by hardliners within the North Korean government.
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:31:55 PM EST
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:32:11 PM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By WI_Rifleman:


You probably just got yourself killed by hardliners within the North Korean government.
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Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By WI_Rifleman:
Originally Posted By Valintino:
Free the fuck out of North Korea, and turn over North Korea to South Korea as a huge middle fucking finger to the Ruskies and Chinese.


You probably just got yourself killed by hardliners within the North Korean government.


Purge them first.
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:33:10 PM EST
Have a grand throne, and be carried around by people that were surgically altered to all look like obama.

Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:33:32 PM EST
Hookers and blow party. George W invited!

Because FBHO!!!!!! That's why!)
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:33:52 PM EST
Leave.
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:34:51 PM EST
One of the first things in order would be to drive around in my tank jamming out to Katy Perry

But really, I'd probably be an awesome dictator and the people would cherish and love me.

Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:35:29 PM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Rogue-Sasquatch:


Purge them first.
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Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Rogue-Sasquatch:
Originally Posted By WI_Rifleman:
Originally Posted By Valintino:
Free the fuck out of North Korea, and turn over North Korea to South Korea as a huge middle fucking finger to the Ruskies and Chinese.


You probably just got yourself killed by hardliners within the North Korean government.


Purge them first.


Yep

I would probabyl score a bunch of Korean Trim first as well

(as in all ARFCOM fantasies I am single)

I scored a bunch back when I was 19-20 so it would be all flashback.

The smell of sex mixed with charcoal and ramen

gives me a woody just thinking about it
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:36:24 PM EST
1. Reinstate the entire female population with clones of Grace Park.

3. Profit.


Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:36:54 PM EST
Hire Intacto to arm my army with Tier One Battle Rifles.

Take over the world, 1/4 MOA at a time.
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:37:11 PM EST
[Last Edit: 1/16/2015 10:38:54 PM EST by Danj]
I imagine I could negotiate a sweet deal with the rest of the world to live the remainder of my life in some tropical paradise with immunity from prosecution in exchange for a new government of their choosing.

I don't want any part of keeping a dictatorship intact. Fuck that noise, too much work with little payoff.
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:38:06 PM EST
I wouldn't change a thing

He sure seems to be enjoying himself
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:38:57 PM EST
You know that scene in The Interview where Kim Jong-Un and James Franco do a bunch of coke, fuck a bunch hookers, and go blow shit up with a tank? It would be something like that, but without James Franco.
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:41:21 PM EST
introduce the US Constitution, start public education system, bring in outside help to bring the people out
of the 16th century and welcome them to Capitalism..
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:42:06 PM EST
Could I fire all of my artillery at the PRC, and then defect to Seoul?

If the answer is yes, that is what I wish to do. While on my way out I would also like to moonwalk across the DMZ

Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:42:10 PM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By FlyNavy75:
Hire Intacto to arm my army with Tier One Battle Rifles.

Take over the world, 1/4 MOA at a time.
View Quote

Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:43:45 PM EST
Invade Spain.


C'mon, you know no one would be expecting that. It would be hilarious.
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:44:29 PM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By WI_Rifleman:


What directors would you kidnap?
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Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By WI_Rifleman:
Originally Posted By NUCdt04:
booze

bitches


make some decent movies





bout it


What directors would you kidnap?


Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:44:43 PM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By FooBarBaz:
Invade Spain.


C'mon, you know no one would be expecting that. It would be hilarious.
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I don't think your military has the hardware for that kind of force projection.
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:44:46 PM EST
Originally Posted By WI_Rifleman:
Somehow it turns out that you were Kim Jong-Il's unknown 4th son. Kim Jong-Un has an unfortunate accident and you find yourself proclaimed as the new dictator for life in North Korea. What do you do?
View Quote


Return the Pueblo.
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:45:57 PM EST
I want to fuck the dog that ate my uncle. Wait, what was the question?

Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:45:58 PM EST
BRING ON THE WHORES!
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:45:59 PM EST
Invite James Franco and Seth Rogan over. I hear they're cool dudes.
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:46:07 PM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By FlyNavy75:
Hire Intacto to arm my army with Tier One Battle Rifles.

Take over the world, 1/4 MOA at a time.
View Quote


Early contender for 14'er post of the year.

Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:51:52 PM EST
Take the dogs for a walk around town.
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:53:53 PM EST
I leave.
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:54:37 PM EST
[Last Edit: 1/16/2015 10:58:51 PM EST by VA-BlkRifle]
Outlaw Sig Braces! They are the source of all crime!
No seriously, I'd install myself as Emperor, a la Japan, in say 1939, get them all to the point where I'm God, and declare all Muslims to be the debil. It would be epic trolling on a world scale.
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:56:26 PM EST
Invade China. They'll never see it coming.


Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:57:21 PM EST
LBFM Olympics
Amass largest AK collection; then trade for an AR
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:57:44 PM EST
wake up
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:58:08 PM EST
Try to impregnate all the women.
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 10:58:41 PM EST
Drain the bank account and gtfo
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 11:00:03 PM EST
First I would purge all the hard line communists.
Then I would open dialogue with the rest of the world to get my people fed and my economy started.
Private investment would be encouraged and sought from around the globe.
I would begin diplomatic negotiations with all non communist nations.

Once the people were taken care of and a capitalist economy established I would establish a constitutional republic form of government. The North Korean people would have freedom for the first time ever.

Link Posted: 1/16/2015 11:00:59 PM EST
A bunch of saints in this thread...
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 11:01:55 PM EST
I would start a cash for clunkers program.
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 11:03:21 PM EST
Instead of picking fights with anyone within 3000 miles (and most of the rest of the world) and spending like a drunken sailor I would maybe try to feed the country?
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 11:03:45 PM EST
[Last Edit: 1/16/2015 11:04:41 PM EST by Pangea]
I force those dopey fuckers to say "R" and "L" till the get it right.
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 11:08:50 PM EST
Originally Posted By WI_Rifleman:
Somehow it turns out that you were Kim Jong-Il's unknown 4th son. Kim Jong-Un has an unfortunate accident and you find yourself proclaimed as the new dictator for life in North Korea. What do you do?
View Quote


I would stop pooping, the Uns apparently have a thing about not pooping.
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 11:09:17 PM EST
Get the access info for Kim Jong whatever's offshore accounts, clean out the treasury, and GTFO of North Korea.
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 11:16:15 PM EST
[Last Edit: 1/16/2015 11:18:02 PM EST by Kharn]
First decree: Private plane from North Korea to Switzerland.
Second decree: You must have the wrong number, sorry.

Originally Posted By Pangea:
I force those dopey fuckers to say "R" and "L" till the get it right.
View Quote

A friend taught conversational English in Japan for a few years after college.
His final exam was weighted heavily on their pronunciation of "congratulations."

Kharn
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 11:22:10 PM EST
I would start "Dear Leader Productions"- the official porn company of NK. All videos would star Dear Leader himself (me) and young women hand picked by Dear Leader. Except the Lesbian porn, which features chicks Dear Leader has already banged.

Before anybody tries to be funny- Dear Leader Productions will not make gay porn, as it is strictly prohibited.
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 11:26:23 PM EST
More anti aircraft firing squads.

Lots more.
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 11:27:34 PM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By WI_Rifleman:


You probably just got yourself killed by hardliners within the North Korean government.
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Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By WI_Rifleman:
Originally Posted By Valintino:
Free the fuck out of North Korea, and turn over North Korea to South Korea as a huge middle fucking finger to the Ruskies and Chinese.


You probably just got yourself killed by hardliners within the North Korean government.


As a sign of good will march all Hardliners into the mine fields between the N & S.
Than demand that US of A turn over Barrack and in exchange I will free all of NK.
Seems like a pretty good trade one POS for the freedom of millions. What say you America.
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 11:29:28 PM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By WI_Rifleman:
A bunch of saints in this thread...
View Quote


We all have the option to approach fantasy threads in a humorous or serious way.

In ARFCOM fashion I chose both.
Link Posted: 1/16/2015 11:30:51 PM EST
[Last Edit: 1/16/2015 11:38:36 PM EST by raven]
Purge all the generals and elites under the old regime who didn't want to take a buyout under the new regime.

The buyout would be shares in enterprises started by the flood of foreign investment after North Korea was liberalized. They wouldn't have government power, but they would be rich and free, in exchange for a peaceful abdication of power. Kill anyone who did not take the deal.

After opening North Korea to foreign investment, institute Chicago School free economic reforms like Pinochet did after his coup d'etat, and remain a benevolent dictator offering amnesty to people who were part of the old state if they accepted the coup, and murder any hardliners who resisted. Ask for aid from western countries in exchange for promises of democratization after about 10-20 years of transition, reforms. Surrender all nuclear arms, ballistic missiles, and artillery pointed at Seoul as a gesture of good will.

Eventually give up autocracy in exchange for democratic government and full pardon for the murders it took to get there.
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