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Posted: 4/13/2006 10:02:27 AM EDT
Background: I work in a cube farm with a bunch of SW engineers and psuedo-engineers. This is not exactly a construction site or the like, but with deadlines looming, the stress-level and tensions sometimes rise to the breaking point.

A couple of days ago there was a heated argument between a couple of guys, so serious, that I thought it might come to blows. The question that I started thinking about was "what would I do if a coworker threw a punch at me?"

Normally, I'd fight back, but considering my job is on the line, I've decided that discretion is the better part of valor. I'd end up taking the "bitch route" and heading to HR.

What say you?
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 10:04:30 AM EDT
sounds good.
then you would sue the company for allowing a "hostile and dangerous work environment".
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 10:05:04 AM EDT
In my office? I'd go ahead and let him punch me. He'll be out of a job, and I'll be healed up in a day or two. Fuck "valor" in the workplace, I've got bills, a wife and a daughter.
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 10:08:59 AM EDT

Originally Posted By SubnetMask:
In my office? I'd go ahead and let him punch me. He'll be out of a job, and I'll be healed up in a day or two. Fuck "valor" in the workplace, I've got bills, a wife and a daughter.



Not only that, but you've got the rest of his life to take care of that during off-duty hours.
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 10:13:56 AM EDT
If I needed the job, I would block his punch and egress the area. If I didn't need the job and knew I could get another I would kick his ass.
I've been in sort of that situation a couple times. Both times I was lucky in that I didn't need the job and knew I could get another.
The first time, a coworker in a warehouse (it was a summer job while I was in college) took a practical joke too far and I went after him but he ran like a scalded ape and got away. The second time, a drunk and abusive customer at the rental car agency at which I was the assistant manager threatened to "wait outside for me" and I jumped right up, got in his face and said "Fuck outside, do it right here. Throw down. Now."
He started doing the "umm, but, umm..." dance and finally his embarrassed wife pushed him out the door. Both times, I didn't need the job and would have gone round with them.
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 10:14:14 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/13/2006 10:16:18 AM EDT by markl32]
I'd use a LEO type hands up in front of my face, palms out, open hands for defense against a sucker punch. Other than that I am de-escalating as much as possible, both verbal and physical. If he gets a hold of you then of course you have to defend yourself. He should never get a hold of you.

As a manger I have been "fronted" three times. The above manor of de-escalation worked to defuse the immediate situation. All three times the aggressor was fires in 24 hours w/o benefits.

Don't be mistaken for an aggressor. Ever.

As a side note all three cases of workplace violence were perpetrated by gun hating liberals. They are truly the dangerous ones.
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 10:17:52 AM EDT

Originally Posted By SubnetMask:
In my office? I'd go ahead and let him punch me. He'll be out of a job, and I'll be healed up in a day or two. Fuck "valor" in the workplace, I've got bills, a wife and a daughter.


+1
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 10:21:47 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/13/2006 10:27:25 AM EDT by NumbNut]

Originally Posted By darealickt:

Originally Posted By SubnetMask:
In my office? I'd go ahead and let him punch me. He'll be out of a job, and I'll be healed up in a day or two. Fuck "valor" in the workplace, I've got bills, a wife and a daughter.


+1



+1

As a manager I had a ass that I prayed would hit me so I could get rid of him. Instead I was subjected to verbal harassment that was always out of hearing range of anyone else. Now some other fool has him for a star employee.
By the way it was a Gov't job so you can't fire them without a minimum of 2-3 years of documentation. I KNOW FIRSTHAND!
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 10:22:39 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/13/2006 10:23:42 AM EDT by Dragracer_Art]
Places I've worked in the past would usually fire BOTH people involved. No questions asked.
'Sorta put the responsibility to diffuse the situation squarely in both peoples hands.
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 10:26:17 AM EDT
Have you ever seen Fight Club?
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 10:28:57 AM EDT
HR, press charges.

vengence under my terms
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 10:30:14 AM EDT

Originally Posted By markl32:
I'd use a LEO type hands up in front of my face, palms out, open hands for defense against a sucker punch. Other than that I am de-escalating as much as possible, both verbal and physical. If he gets a hold of you then of course you have to defend yourself. He should never get a hold of you.

As a manger I have been "fronted" three times. The above manor of de-escalation worked to defuse the immediate situation. All three times the aggressor was fires in 24 hours w/o benefits.

Don't be mistaken for an aggressor. Ever.

As a side note all three cases of workplace violence were perpetrated by gun hating liberals. They are truly the dangerous ones.



+1
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 10:30:50 AM EDT

Originally Posted By mcnielsen:
Have you ever seen Fight Club?


Well, I didn't specify, but we are talking about if someone other than yourself threw a punch at you.
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 10:36:12 AM EDT
OC him.


Link Posted: 4/13/2006 10:39:24 AM EDT
im military, sooo, I cannot be fired. in your situation, fuck it, defuse the situation, or let him swing at you and then get out of the situation without swinging back, his ass, not yours.
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 10:42:22 AM EDT
Throw down of course.
But since I'm 6' 130lbs (hence the skinny), I often favor preemption when it comes to fisticuffs.
At least that way I can be assured of landing at least one good punch (even if it is a sucker punch).
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 10:44:06 AM EDT
Draw down

This is a toughie, I would say HR and press charges.
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 10:45:02 AM EDT
You have the right if he invades your personal space to f-him up
never let someone "throw the first punch"
there is a good chance you wont recover to defend yourself
mho.
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 10:46:58 AM EDT
If it is a punch coming toward my face it will be blocked and/or the guy would get knocked out depending on the threat level. If he is going to stop I will just block it, but if it feels as though he is going to keep on me hell probably have a broken arm and will be laying on the floor.

I got sucker punched in the face once before and I have vowed to myself under NO circumstances will ANYONE ever hit me like that again.
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 10:53:55 AM EDT
Kick ass and take names. Here at my jobs (Full and Part time) just for being in the fight you would be fired. Wouldn't matter if you didn't fight back and got the poopy kicked out of ya, you would still get termanated. So, fight to win and then get ready to press charges if they do...
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 10:55:10 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/13/2006 10:56:08 AM EDT by John_Wayne777]

Originally Posted By TheCynic:
Background: I work in a cube farm with a bunch of SW engineers and psuedo-engineers. This is not exactly a construction site or the like, but with deadlines looming, the stress-level and tensions sometimes rise to the breaking point.

A couple of days ago there was a heated argument between a couple of guys, so serious, that I thought it might come to blows. The question that I started thinking about was "what would I do if a coworker threw a punch at me?"

Normally, I'd fight back, but considering my job is on the line, I've decided that discretion is the better part of valor. I'd end up taking the "bitch route" and heading to HR.

What say you?



You let him hit you.

Then you have him fired.

And sue the company.

Then move to a private island.

If that isn't an option, taking up a classic defensive position and trying to de-escalate is a pretty good idea.
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 10:56:14 AM EDT
Other... find a way to get him to do some of your bitch work.
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 10:58:02 AM EDT

Originally Posted By mcnielsen:
Have you ever seen Fight Club?



Don't talk about Fight Club here...
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 10:58:07 AM EDT
None of the Above. Knock his ass out, then HR, then press charges, then file a lawsuit against both him and the company.

Reasoning: I did nothing to deserve being punched. My first objective is to stop the assault. Just running away may not be an option. Then HR to get his ass fired. Charges because assault is assault and just getting a beat down by me may not be enough of a lesson under the circumstances. As the aggrieved party, civil suites against him for initiation force, bodily harm, risk of employment. Against the company as their "no firearms in the buildings" policy allowed this nutball to think they could safely attack me. They failed to adaquately provide for my security by stripping me of my self-defense tools.

Take a settlement. Retire on a private island in the Bahamas.
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 11:08:04 AM EDT



i'd de-escalate, shake hands, and walk away.

when things cooled down, i'd offer to swing by the bar later and buy the guy a beer to apologize, then promptly go to HR and report the incident.

later, i'd get a few beers in the fu*ker, and beat his ass in the parking lot outside. call the cops, report that you tried to make-up, but the more intoxicated he got, the more agressive he became. cite the earlier incident.

he'll spend the night in lock-up, and get shit-canned the next morning...


Link Posted: 4/13/2006 11:10:38 AM EDT

In order:

Pop smoke
Escape in the confusion
Find his car in parking lot; flatten two tires and key the driver's side door
Make my way to the guy's house
Shoot his dog
Twice
Go home, eat some Fritos.

Link Posted: 4/13/2006 11:13:14 AM EDT
Screwing with a man’s job or calling the police on him is a terrible thing to do and I would only do it in the most extreme of cases. If the guy was apologetic afterwards then I wouldn’t press anything. People get pissed and occasionally lash out, I’m big enough to deal with it and not go crying over a little bruise. But he had better come to me in a pretty dang submissive manner. If he tries to play arrogant after he’s had a few minutes to cool off then maybe a police report would be in order.

That’s because some people mistake being man enough not to overreact for being someone’s bitch. And the guy needs to understand that he’s getting shown mercy through strength and not seeing cowardice through weakness.

If it weren’t for the little inconvenience of the law, I would tell the person I accept his challenge and the duel would be fought with sabers at sunrise tomorrow. The man could then either formally apologize, (an apology I would gladly accept.) Or, he could fight me to the first three blood drawing wounds. (A punch doesn’t warrant a duel to the death.) Dueling is much more civilized than involving the police and courts.
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 11:18:44 AM EDT
Put your you-know-what in his you-know-where. Repeat as needed, and then post pics.

That'll teach him.
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 11:19:12 AM EDT
Id let him hit me (with witnesses),then sit back and watch him and his cardboard box o' shame walk out he front door with an escort.

Id rather have a black eye than a pink slip.
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 11:21:41 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Evil_Ed:
In order:

Pop smoke
Escape in the confusion
Find his car in parking lot; flatten two tires and key the driver's side door
Make my way to the guy's house
Shoot his dog
Twice
Go home, eat some Fritos.






Sounds like a good plan.
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 11:24:16 AM EDT
Depends a lot on the exact situation.

Most likely, the guy is a decent, normal co-worker who is getting a little too hot over some trivial issue. If one of you cools it down a little and de-escalates, it probably won't come to anything.

Some of you guys are talking like the other guy is some street thug. There aren't any thugs where I work. If there are a bunch of thugs were you work, you should probably either get them fired, or find a new job. Unless of course your job is to deal with them (LEO, Prison guard, etc.)
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 11:24:17 AM EDT
You got it. My paychecks are too important to my family to risk.

Besides, revenge is a dish best served cold.
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 11:28:18 AM EDT

Originally Posted By NumbNut:

Originally Posted By darealickt:

Originally Posted By SubnetMask:
In my office? I'd go ahead and let him punch me. He'll be out of a job, and I'll be healed up in a day or two. Fuck "valor" in the workplace, I've got bills, a wife and a daughter.


+1



+1

As a manager I had a ass that I prayed would hit me so I could get rid of him. Instead I was subjected to verbal harassment that was always out of hearing range of anyone else. Now some other fool has him for a star employee.
By the way it was a Gov't job so you can't fire them without a minimum of 2-3 years of documentation. I KNOW FIRSTHAND!



+1

As far as the other posts on this thread - shame on you guys~ HR
Figured there were a bunch of internet warriors (wimps) on this board but you guys out right said it.

Link Posted: 4/13/2006 11:32:38 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Thuban:
Screwing with a man’s job or calling the police on him is a terrible thing to do and I would only do it in the most extreme of cases. If the guy was apologetic afterwards then I wouldn’t press anything. People get pissed and occasionally lash out, I’m big enough to deal with it and not go crying over a little bruise. But he had better come to me in a pretty dang submissive manner. If he tries to play arrogant after he’s had a few minutes to cool off then maybe a police report would be in order.

That’s because some people mistake being man enough not to overreact for being someone’s bitch. And the guy needs to understand that he’s getting shown mercy through strength and not seeing cowardice through weakness.

If it weren’t for the little inconvenience of the law, I would tell the person I accept his challenge and the duel would be fought with sabers at sunrise tomorrow. The man could then either formally apologize, (an apology I would gladly accept.) Or, he could fight me to the first three blood drawing wounds. (A punch doesn’t warrant a duel to the death.) Dueling is much more civilized than involving the police and courts.




Nope. He screwed with his own job. I'll not continue working with a violent person and why should I leave when he can't control himself? No police, no courts, but he's for damn sure the one leaving... not me. I get stressed too. Not once have I needed to attack someone at work over it.
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