I don't know how many people here have worked a job that was boring a lot of the time, but I got to thinking about the stuff we used to do at this place I worked in high school.  The place I worked for was a petroleum supply place, basically anything related to automotive or mechanical that needed oil we carried it.  So as you can imagine we had some spare time to pull pranks and practical jokes.  Here's a few I remember seeing or being part of.

My manager was always joking around and had a good sense of humor so he kind of encouraged this stuff.  One day at the store I'm in the back pulling some orders to go out and I hear the manager over the PA "Brian the proctologist called and good news, you're not pregnant.......bad news you've got Herpes"  I cried over this one I laughed so hard.

We had this office girl who helped in the store and warehouse when we needed her.  Really cute girl, I'd practically grown up with her brother we've known each other since grade school. She's the typical teenage girl, extremely worried about how she looks while she's doing some real work with the guys.  She'd been complaining about gaining a few pounds and needing to lose weight so I walk by her and put my hand on her stomach and say "Make it kick, make it kick!".  She wasn't too amused, but her cousin who's female and the rest of the guys thought it was funny.

I came up with this idea after seeing some stuff on the news about "wall art".  My manager drank coffee regular enough he kept his own coffee cup in the warehouse at our desks.  So we had done some regular maintenance on the forklift and had an extra tube of grease out.  Lightbulb goes off!  I get his coffee mug and climb on top or a pallet full of oil cases and put a good amount of grease on the bottom of the mug and stick it to the wall about 12 feet off the ground.  He's finds it the next morning laughs and says "that's gonna be a bitch drinking out of it from that position I'd better get some straws".

I think this was my most favorite prank I ever saw pulled at work.  The owner's son was the kid that got away with anything and pretty much everyone else despised him.  Now I was about 17 at the time this happened, the manager and owner's son both went to school together and were in thier early 30's at this time.  They had this ongoing feud of trying to out prank one another.  Now there was a Vet office across the road and they always had the greenest grass in town no matter what time of year.  It was well known not to walk across the lot next to the vet's office unless you wanted to ruin your shoes from the remains of Alpo and 9 lives.  
So the manager is eating a brownie one day during our break and drops half of it in the floor that's covered in dirt and oil-dry dust.  He picks it up and looks at us and grins and says "I'm gonna show this little bastard a real joke."  He starts to roll it around in his hands until it resembles a yard cigar.  He goes outside to the parking lot and open's the owner's son's SUV door and places it in the front drivers seat.  We all take a late break so we can watch his reaction when he leaves for lunch.  Talk about someone getting pissed off, he starts immediately pointing a finger at all of us talking about how he's gonna have us all fired.  So the manager tells him to cool down and goes to see what the "problem" is.  He looks at us and was like "Ok who did this I want to know right now", like we didn't watch him put it in the car already laughing.  So he asks the owner's son what he wants and he says "I want to kick someone's ass over this".  So the manager looks at us and says "OK" reaches in and picks up the brownie real quick and tosses it at the son and hits him in the shoulder!  We're all laughing so hard now this guy is about to cry, and finally the manager picks up the brownie again and takes a big whiff and says "These brownie's from the vending machine sure are realistic looking aren't they"


Anyone else have work pranks that they can share without putting their current job at risk?

Two words, Nitro paste.

tag for hilarity?

I always just worked

Back in the 80's I worked with a guy I was semi friends with, we went fishing every once and while. The only problem was he could not stop fucking with me. Always cracking jokes about  me in front other people, I kept warning him payback would be a muther fucker.  One day he went a little to far. I had been to Spencer's gift shop. They had some gag envelopes with printed return addresses like XXX Video Connection, Alcoholics Anonymous, ect. I chose the one that said VD Clinic. I knew this skank barfly he fucked. So I typed up a letter saying she Identified him as one of her sexual contacts and that she had tested positive for AIDS, and that he needed to be tested. Now this was the era of dot matrix printers and I had a word processor that printed just about laser quality, and let me make some realistic letter head, so it looked pretty convincing for those days and times. Now on the second page of the letter I ended it with "FUCK YOU VERY MUCH, DR. Ty" so he would know he had been had. Now this guy and his brother still lived at home.  I mailed it on a Wednesday, my appendix ruptured on Friday morning, I went to the hospital, he left to go fishing Friday afternoon and when his brother got home he checked the mail. Now his brother finds the letter and can't stop himself from opening it. His brother being somewhat of a devious asshole, takes the second page, that lets num nuts know its a joke, and trashes it. Gives his mom the letter . She freaks, now this is before cell phones so the guy can't be reached at the lake he is at. This was in Texas and they were originally from Florida, the freaking out mom calls her brothers and sisters, in Florida and is telling them that her son has tha AIDS, a couple of his uncles catch a plane and come to Texas to help calm her down. Num nuts comes home late Sunday night, from fishing and walks into the shit storm at his parents house. He freaks at first but then he gets suspicious and goes to the skanks house. She denies going to a clinic, so he suspects me then but, without the second page he never had any proof.

im in iraq and im very bored sometimes so i got on thinkgeek.com and orderd up the "annoyatron" device. it makes a random beep noise at random times. the AC went out in our office so everyone was hot and bothered. so i hooked it up. at first everyone was like what is that sound? then another genius came up with the idea that the monitors for the computers had a built in alarm if it got to hot. so everytime it would beep they would get up and feel eachothers monitiors and turn them off for like 5 minutes or so. i was in tears the whole day this was going on and they never figured it out that i was playing a joke. shit was classic. i told them a week or so later what i had done and they all got a good laugh out of it.

We had this new kid who was always telling on us at work .
One day he was at a window talking to me and my buddy snuck up behind him and started pushing him thru the window ,I grabbed his hands and my buddy closes the window down on him.
I'm looking at him in the face yelling you know what we do to people like you ,I know you've been telling on us.
He's swearing he did'nt(I know for a fact because my boss told me)
Well 'My buddy pulls the kid's pants down and starts hooting and hollering,the kid starts crying and his eyes get huge.Buddy whips off his belt and gives this 20 year old kid a swat on his bare ass opens the window and kicks him thru.
Kids running down the streeet crying loudly pulling up his pants and falls down a few times.
20 mins later my boss is calling me on the phone ,asking who the fuck is trying to fuck my nephew,He's laughing so hard he can barely talk.
Turns out my boss hated the little fucker.
Kids truck sat there all week because he was too scared to come get it
lol

Back in the Dark Ages before cell phones people used to use alpha numeric pagers.
I would occasionally page bosses or coworkers to the Jimmy Swaggert pledge line or the National Gay Alliance.

My second job we had this really fat boss who was a total @*#$ and every few days I would go and un-do some screws in his chairs so they would break every time he sat in one of them.

OK, this is kind of a long story, but here goes.

After the movie step brothers came out, a lot of the funny phrases and whatnot became catchphrases at my job, my thing was to tell everyone "you have to call me dragon", I even made up a name tag with this on it, and answered the phone saying my name was dragon, even the manager thought it was pretty funny, and no customers ever complained, so I did it for a while. Now this was when I was living in NY, so when I was getting my transfer to a store in AZ taken care of, we came up with the idea to tell the district manager out here in AZ that "his name is tom, but you have to call him dragon." just to see how he would react and if he would actually do it.


Fast forward a few months, and there are occasional calls on the phone asking if dragon works there.


Oh yeah, once I found some sites with soundboards that weren't filtered out, so I used schwarzenegger and jack black soundboards to prank other stores.

I work in a small department of about 10 guys and we have all worked together for years except for a guy named Bill.
Bill had worked with us for about a year at an entry level position. He was not the smartest guy around, but he was a hard worker and most us liked him.
Then Bill got moved up to a position that required a little more thinking on his part and he could not keep up, and production on his line began to slow down,
and management decided to fire Bill.

Well most us that worked with him thought they should have allowed him to move back to his old job instead of firing him.
Well I had a pretty good idea of how I could mess with my supervisor and make him feel bad about firing Bill.
The next week I was going to be on vacation so I informed our lead-man of my plans so he could keep things under control.
While I was on vacation I found a picture of a newspaper article and using Photoshop I removed the text and replaced it with my own.

The article explained that a local man named Bill was found dead in his house after an apparent suicide and that family members reported he was upset about losing his job.
I then e-mailed this article to my supervisor, but what I didn’t know was that our lead-man who knew about my plan had called in sick that day.  
What happened is my supervisor read the article and became very upset and decided to call a meeting of the entire department to tell them about Bill killing himself.
So now everybody in the department is now upset and my supervisor decides to inform H.R. so they can bring grief counselors out and take up a collection for his kids.
About an hour later I received a phone call from a guy I work with who knows me pretty well and asks if this is real and if it’s not then I need to call and let my supervisor know because the news is spreading throughout the company and has even reached the president. I called and explained that it was a fake and I went to work the next week thinking that I was in deep shit and could possibly lose my job. Luckily everyone in upper management thought it was funny and nothing happened to me.
Now I am known as the guy who killed Bill.

At a restaurant I went to the back, got a sardine, and put it in a friend's apron.  My original plan was not to tell him about it at all, but I decided that was to mean so I said "hey, I put a Sardine in you're apron, you should probably take it out before it gets to smelly."  Appreciating my honesty, he says thanks and promptly forgets I'd done it.  Well he remembered two days later when he got in his car where he'd been keeping his apron.    He had to throw away his apron, the managers had to give him a new one  Luckily they didn't make him pay for it, because I'd already told him I'd pay for the new one if necessary.

Another crazy ICU prank. Sometimes it's fun to zap someone with a train of four nerve stimulator. It's something we use to see if a patient is truly paralyzed from the meds we give them. Dial it down to a low power and get your buddy's arm when he's not looking. It doesn't really hurt but they jump like they bumped into a tarantula.

reminds me of the " hold this plug wire" routine

We had skunks at my facility....

-Some would trap them in buckets and toss them into rooms that needed to be checked later, such fun...

-Some would get hold of the gas masks when not supervised during training of some poor saps and unscrew them a turn or 2. Then when the masks were needed vomit galore ensued.

-Fill someones lunch bag up with water and freeze it before the end of  shift.

-Hoist someones jacket up on the flag pole at night

-Wrap someones car with plastic packing sheeting on thier last night prior to a transfer.

-toss oranges and apples through the control center grate above the operations office, or wet toilet paper into that controled environment


More to come when I am not in the fog of heavy alcohol induced forgetfullness...

1.   Buy some rainbow "gay pride" stickers.. the little 1" X 1 1/2" (the size of expiration month/year stickers on license plates) Put said stickers on unsuspecting coworkers plates.... on different corner... don't cover up any BMV stickers as that may be unlawful.



Whalaaa.. they are cruisin down the road wondering why he's getting strange looks when people pass...



I heard*** these stickers can be bought in like a sheet of 20. They even make reflective ones



2.  When someone forgets to log off their windows login (we share computers)  don't be shocked the next time they log in to see fat chicks in swimwear, dude's in spedos, anything pro-Obama -  Were a Republican workplace!  So that last one reeeallly pisses em off



3.  Take a screenshot of desktop, then hide desktop icons, and set screenshot as background... they will double click, and double click, and then start cussing.....  funny as fuck.  Just interveine and fix it for them before they call IT complaining their workstation is fubar'd