Words from S.O. that scare the Hell out of you....

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Words from S.O. that scare the Hell out of you.... (Page 1 of 2)

Posted: 4/25/2001 8:08:15 PM EDT

"Honey, do you know what day this is?....."

[red][size=4] P.R.K.

Posted: 4/25/2001 8:18:38 PM EDT

[#1]

the test came back ......

Posted: 4/25/2001 8:19:08 PM EDT

[#2]

"Honey?? Can you..."

Posted: 4/25/2001 8:20:51 PM EDT

[#3]

"I'am [red]LATE [/red]"

GIB

Posted: 4/25/2001 8:21:15 PM EDT

[#4]

"Dinner is ready!"

Posted: 4/25/2001 8:45:59 PM EDT

[#5]

"Where's the checkbook?"

Posted: 4/25/2001 8:53:32 PM EDT

[#6]

That ones kinda neat. Is it like the other MP5s?

Posted: 4/25/2001 8:53:50 PM EDT

[#7]

You don't love me anymore.....Do you?

Posted: 4/25/2001 8:57:41 PM EDT

[#8]

"Oh, honey...my mom is unpacking her bags in the other room and will stay the entire summer." [:(]

-RoadDog
(Hmmm,that doghouse seems cozy enough)

Posted: 4/25/2001 9:56:05 PM EDT

[#9]

SteyrAUG:

You can only pull that kinda sh!t on the internet.

Live cockiness would get your ass kicked on general principals! [:D]

Oh, I almost forgot. [-!-]

Posted: 4/25/2001 9:57:48 PM EDT

[#10]

"What is this $685 charge to Castle Arms on the Visa?"

"Oh, nuttin', honey. Damn you look sexy today. Did you change your hair? C'mere"

[BD]

Posted: 4/25/2001 10:02:35 PM EDT

[#11]

You love flying more than you love me...don't you?

Posted: 4/25/2001 10:09:43 PM EDT

[#12]

Originally Posted By GI Brat:
"I'am [red]LATE [/red]"

GIB

View Quote

NO SHIT!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: 4/25/2001 10:12:42 PM EDT

[#13]

"I don't recognize this gun..."

Posted: 4/25/2001 11:26:17 PM EDT

[#14]

I thought you had plenty of room in the gun safe, since when did it get so full, hmmmmm? [spank]

Posted: 4/25/2001 11:44:46 PM EDT

[#15]

After getting home from the gun show or gun store...

"Were you good?"

Sometime honesty is NOT the best policy. [}:D]

Posted: 4/26/2001 3:42:01 AM EDT

[#16]

"Wait a minute....this isn't one of my bras...."

Posted: 4/26/2001 3:59:41 AM EDT

[#17]

Joe from Shoot'm UP Guns called and said your ????? will be in on Friday!!!!!! What is he talking about?

Bow

Posted: 4/26/2001 4:10:06 AM EDT

[#18]

You already have enough guns, you don't need any more.

Posted: 4/26/2001 4:11:04 AM EDT

[#19]

Calls me on the cell phone (she HATES talking on the phone....ANY phone):

"We need to talk when you get home...."

Uh-oh!

Posted: 4/26/2001 5:12:50 AM EDT

[#20]

Do I look fat in this?

Posted: 4/26/2001 5:31:09 AM EDT

[#21]

My beautiful wife, "Honey, do these pants make me look fat?"

Halfcocked, "Why no dear. It's not the pants that are making you look fat. Ouch!"

My beautiful wife, standing in front of me, "Do you notice anything different?"

Halfcocked, "Did you stop wearing the wonder bra? Ouch!"

Posted: 4/26/2001 5:34:19 AM EDT

[#22]

Guess what honey, I changed my vacation schedule so I can go to bike week with you!!!

Posted: 4/26/2001 6:47:51 AM EDT

[#23]

Actual events that occurred during my marriage and contributed to my decision to give him the boot:

Him: "Hey, hon, they're selling an L1A1 down at the gun shop and it's a really good price. What'd do you think?"

Me: "Well, it's your reenlistment bonus... spend it how you see fit."

Him: "Good... 'cause I already gave them the check."

Bear in mind that the last few weapons he wanted I bought him... so it was never a matter of me not being okay with it.

Second scenario:

Me: "Hon, we just bounced a check... how much money have you spent lately? I just need to know each week so I can balance the account."

Him: ::pulling wad of ATM slips out of wallet:: "I don't know how much but I saved the slips.."

It was over $650. ::rolling eyes::

Posted: 4/26/2001 6:55:10 AM EDT

[#24]

"We're going on Jerry Springer"

Posted: 4/26/2001 7:05:37 AM EDT

[#25]

With a previous GF of mine:

Anything ending in "?"

... and also many things ending in "." [%|]

I miss her sometimes. Then I adjust my sights...

Posted: 4/26/2001 7:44:21 AM EDT

[#26]

The most famous one: "We don't talk anymore..."

Posted: 4/26/2001 7:49:41 AM EDT

[#27]

Where did this long blonde hair come from?

(from my oriental wife)

Posted: 4/26/2001 9:51:55 AM EDT

[#28]

Quoted:
"We're going on Jerry Springer"

View Quote

Do you get that one a lot Cible? [BD]

Kyle

Posted: 4/26/2001 10:22:36 AM EDT

[#29]

"What? I thought that YOU were watching the baby!"

Posted: 4/26/2001 10:48:41 AM EDT

[#30]

why is it you always have so much to say to people on the net but we dont have anything to talk about??
I just tell her to clean my guns and that will give us something to talk about [}:D]

Another one is "but you went shooting last weekend"
reply and i will be going next too [}:D]

Posted: 4/26/2001 10:50:39 AM EDT

[#31]

Quoted:
"Is it in?"

View Quote

ouch.

Posted: 4/26/2001 10:53:45 AM EDT

[#32]

"...I'm not sure we should with these little red bumps that just popped up..."

[>(]

Good thing that never happened, but I'll be damned if it ever does.

Posted: 4/26/2001 10:56:33 AM EDT

[#33]

why are my lace panties all stretched out?

why does my wonder bra smell like old spice?

where are all the paper towels I bought in bulk from Sam's Club?

are we out of hand lotion again?

what are you doing while I am at work?

Posted: 4/26/2001 11:08:25 AM EDT

[#34]

Last weekend.

Her: Honey, where are the keys?
Me: I thought your car was in the shop?
Her: Yes, I need to use your car to go shopping.
Me: I thought you said you never drove a stick-shift before?

Posted: 4/26/2001 11:16:17 AM EDT

[#35]

Why are you still friends with all of your EX-GIRLFRIENDS!?!

Tyler

Posted: 4/26/2001 11:35:49 AM EDT

[#36]

Quoted:

Quoted:
"We're going on Jerry Springer"

View Quote

Do you get that one a lot Cible? [BD]

Kyle

View Quote

No, Springer has a limit of two visits.[;)]

Posted: 4/26/2001 11:39:04 AM EDT

[#37]

"He always sleeps on the floor until you get home" A second boxer (canine) in a queen bed.

Posted: 4/26/2001 11:44:20 AM EDT

[#38]

"My lawyer said...." No matter what, that one will cost you money.

Posted: 4/26/2001 11:48:33 AM EDT

[#39]

Y'all a bunch of wussies. You don't know Scared until you hear:

"I'm just going to the mall for a few things (or--to the mall with my friends)."

"You're going to be upset with how much I bought"
(For those of you who aren't married, that means--"I F***ed up our budget for the next 12 to 16 months and you better shut up about it".)

"I'm too fat, I don't feel sexy anymore"
(Which means a serious case of Blue Balls until--a. You can buy enough gifts to make her forget about that, or b. she loses 40 lbs--"a" takes a while, "b" ain't never gonna happen.)

and,

the Worst thing you can hear is:

" " (Silence--'cause you don't know what you did wrong, and anything you admit to is probably not the right thing, so it just pours more gasoline on the fire).

Posted: 4/26/2001 11:53:06 AM EDT

[#40]

"UPS came. Is that for you or someone else"

Posted: 4/26/2001 11:53:57 AM EDT

[#41]

Quoted:
why are my lace panties all stretched out?

why does my wonder bra smell like old spice?

where are all the paper towels I bought in bulk from Sam's Club?

are we out of hand lotion again?

what are you doing while I am at work?

View Quote

Should be under "Things that make you go, HMMMMMMMM" Way too much information.
[smash]

Posted: 4/26/2001 11:54:57 AM EDT

[#42]

"Are you seeing another woman?"

Posted: 4/26/2001 12:17:09 PM EDT

[#43]

"You know those pus-filled legions? One of them burst and some weird worm thing came out with spikes covering it's body. No biggie- just thinking out loud."

Posted: 4/26/2001 1:03:06 PM EDT

[#44]

Originally Posted By Steve in VA:
"You know those pus-filled legions? One of them burst and some weird worm thing came out with spikes covering it's body. No biggie- just thinking out loud."

View Quote

I think the topic should be changed to "Words from Steve in VA that scare the heck out of you..." [puke]

Posted: 4/26/2001 3:36:40 PM EDT

[#45]

OK . . . how's this:

"Honey, schmookums, ah, I know that [i]killing[/i] someone is a crime, I'm square on that one, er . . . but . . . what about dismeberment? . . . Is that like, wrong or something, like 'desa . . .' 'desacrat . . .' whatever. Is that a crime, bottom line, oh! . . . and where do you keep that chipper-thing-a-ma-jig . . .?