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Posted: 9/3/2008 6:40:35 PM EDT
Just curious, I seem to run into one every once in awhile.
Link Posted: 9/3/2008 6:47:09 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/3/2008 7:02:37 PM EDT by TechGal26]
I don't think so.  I think it may take longer to find the right guy, but I think there is someone for everyone.  


<~~Has high standards, and cats - I choose to think that way~~

ETA: Those who do end up the 'crazy cat lady' are probably dealing with issues that left them alone and unable to be around people - I could very well be thought of as a crazy cat lady, I just happen to have no interest in dating at the moment and I don't see any hurry to find someone tomorrow.  (I'm 25)
It just depends on the person, and how they deal with their problems.  
Link Posted: 9/3/2008 8:11:28 PM EDT
I'm one of those who has high standards.  My philosophy is it's better to have high standards than none at all.  I just know what I'm looking, that's all.
Link Posted: 9/3/2008 9:31:13 PM EDT
What are you looking for, if I may ask.
Link Posted: 9/3/2008 10:10:56 PM EDT
I was single for a long time before I found someone I felt was worth being with. If you settle for less than you want merely to be in a relationship, you close yourself off from the possibility of finding the right person. I'd rather be single and working on my own goals than settling for a relationship that I don't find fulfilling.
Link Posted: 9/3/2008 10:27:40 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ziarifleman:
What are you looking for, if I may ask.


hmmm...

I lean more towards the sensitive personality - no guys, I don't mean weepy.  I mean the kind of guy who comes home from work and helps tidy up or start dinner, ect.

Basics:
easy going,
attractive(to me - I dated the sweetest guy once, but every time I looked at him I could hear my brain screaming - that's just not fair to him or me),
family oriented,  
knows how to talk to/ treat women - whether me or friends,
keeps his own identity - the same person in public and at home,
happy to come home to his family,
spontaneous,
hard working,
preferably religious to some degree.  
And of course a gun owner.

My preferences change after every relationship I am in, I guess a been there dealt with that kind of thing.  
Link Posted: 9/4/2008 2:26:28 AM EDT

Originally Posted By ziarifleman:
What are you looking for, if I may ask.


Um, me?

I am not.
Link Posted: 9/4/2008 3:42:36 AM EDT
Once you get a second cat, that red flag will outweigh 'standards'.
Link Posted: 9/4/2008 5:11:22 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Molon-Labe:
I was single for a long time before I found someone I felt was worth being with. If you settle for less than you want merely to be in a relationship, you close yourself off from the possibility of finding the right person. I'd rather be single and working on my own goals than settling for a relationship that I don't find fulfilling.


What this person said. I had very high standards. I dated one guy before my husband, which was a waste of time. After the ex, I decided I was better off staying single and working hard, waiting for the right one. Then the Husband came along. I have no regrets
Link Posted: 9/4/2008 6:43:06 AM EDT
A female co-worker told me this rule of three marriages:

1.  Marry for love

2.  Marry for money

3.  Marry the youngest guy in the room
Link Posted: 9/4/2008 7:07:05 AM EDT
The answer is the same for any man with high standards:  If you're looking for a companion of similar standards you need to be where other people of similar standards are and associate with people who have the standards you're looking for.

For example:  A man looking for a "virtuous woman" (as described in Proverbs 31) isn't very likely to find her at a bar or strip club.  That's just common sense.
Link Posted: 9/4/2008 8:17:15 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Shane333:
The answer is the same for any man with high standards:  If you're looking for a companion of similar standards you need to be where other people of similar standards are and associate with people who have the standards you're looking for.

For example:  A man looking for a "virtuous woman" (as described in Proverbs 31) isn't very likely to find her at a bar or strip club.  That's just common sense.


I am confused.  How does this mesh with my naughty librarian fetish?  JK!



Link Posted: 9/4/2008 8:20:54 AM EDT
<----  has 3 cats.

<---- is NOT a crazy cat lady.

Link Posted: 9/4/2008 8:26:59 AM EDT

Originally Posted By TechGal26:
I could very well be thought of as a crazy cat lady, I just happen to have no interest in dating at the moment and I don't see any hurry to find someone tomorrow.  (I'm 25)  


But your expiration date for child bearing is nearing, and when you pass it the pool of interested men is going to dwindle significantly.
Link Posted: 9/4/2008 8:29:36 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Skillshot:
But your expiration date for child bearing is nearing, and when you pass it the pool of interested men is going to dwindle significantly.


You're kidding...right?
Link Posted: 9/4/2008 9:01:03 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Glockgirl26:

Originally Posted By Skillshot:
But your expiration date for child bearing is nearing, and when you pass it the pool of interested men is going to dwindle significantly.


You're kidding...right?


Ohhhhhhhh boy.

I'd venture a guess that yes, he's kidding.  On the other hand, there's a significant nugget of truth in there.

A woman's fertility is linked to her age.  Some moreso than others, but the link is there.  Probabilities for infertility and also for birth defects (primarily down syndrome) go up notably in the thirties and increase significantly at age 40 and beyond.  Unlike men's sperm production, a woman's eggs have an expiration date.

So, for a man who wants not only a wife but children too, the ideal age range for his wife is in her 20's.  She's young and healthy, more likely to be fertile, and the probability of birth defects are much lower.

I know that I'm being blunt about this, and that not all men are looking for that traditional family model, but for the traditional family model and men who are looking for it my remarks are essentially spot on.  Thus, women who put off marriage for the sake of getting established in their career, traveling the world, etc., run the very real risk of narrowing the pool of interested candidates.

There's something else that I've noticed personally:  People who put off marriage tend to get comfortable in their single lifestyle.  Marriage involves a lot of work and compromise.  People who put off marriage tend to have a harder time making those compromises.  They don't want to surrender their independence.  This isn't a gender-linked issue either.
Link Posted: 9/4/2008 10:24:33 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Shane333:
There's something else that I've noticed personally:  People who put off marriage tend to get comfortable in their single lifestyle.  Marriage involves a lot of work and compromise.  People who put off marriage tend to have a harder time making those compromises.  They don't want to surrender their independence.  This isn't a gender-linked issue either.


Furthermore, isn't that related to a commitment phobia problem also?

Also... is it also a small fact that as women near the biological end, they might become more sexually frustrated because its their bodies way of telling them that they need to get pregnant and quick?
Link Posted: 9/4/2008 10:26:18 AM EDT
As usual Shane, you're well spoken and presented.  I don't disagree at all.  However, a young woman in her 20's who is a single mom, has also "narrowed her options" so to speak, as many, many single men in this age group who have not yet had children wouldn't look twice at a woman who has.  At 25, a woman still has plenty of good potential child bearing years (barring any other complications) and most guys would run scared from a girl that age who said her biological clock was ticking loudly.

Meh...guess a girl can't win.
Link Posted: 9/4/2008 10:37:37 AM EDT

Originally Posted By daisywench:
<----  has 3 cats.

<---- is NOT a crazy cat lady.



Is so.
Link Posted: 9/4/2008 10:38:27 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Skillshot:

Originally Posted By TechGal26:
I could very well be thought of as a crazy cat lady, I just happen to have no interest in dating at the moment and I don't see any hurry to find someone tomorrow.  (I'm 25)  


But your expiration date for child bearing is nearing, and when you pass it the pool of interested men is going to dwindle significantly.


Suddenly, I feel like a dairy product.

Link Posted: 9/4/2008 10:46:25 AM EDT

Originally Posted By PlaymoreMinds:

Originally Posted By daisywench:
<----  has 3 cats.

<---- is NOT a crazy cat lady.



Is so.


shaddup.
Link Posted: 9/4/2008 10:48:31 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Glockgirl26:
As usual Shane, you're well spoken and presented.  I don't disagree at all.  However, a young woman in her 20's who is a single mom, has also "narrowed her options" so to speak, as many, many single men in this age group who have not yet had children wouldn't look twice at a woman who has.  At 25, a woman still has plenty of good potential child bearing years (barring any other complications) and most guys would run scared from a girl that age who said her biological clock was ticking loudly.

Meh...guess a girl can't win.


Actually I think that you're spot on.  My remarks are geared more towards those who put off marriage deliberately until their thirties or even later.  Even then, the pool of men with traditional values and family image has shrunk from even a decade or two ago.  Age 25 doesn't strike me as a big issue at all.

You're also absolutely correct about the challenges faced by single mothers.  I don't envy them in the least.  Ironically, the summer before I began dating my wife I met a single mother who I was very interested in.  Interestingly enough, though I believe she liked me, I didn't fit into her required criteria:  owning an expensive car...as a sign of financial wealth (or financial "stability" as I'm sure she said it in her own mind).  At the time I was a bit hurt and offended at what struck me as selfish materialism, but now as a parent I better understand where she was coming from.

I would argue that a girl can win.  Just as not all men are doomed to the Arfcom curse.  "Winning" requires good judgement, a lot of loving effort, and IMHO some help from above.
Link Posted: 9/4/2008 10:51:20 AM EDT

Originally Posted By PlaymoreMinds:

Originally Posted By Skillshot:

Originally Posted By TechGal26:
I could very well be thought of as a crazy cat lady, I just happen to have no interest in dating at the moment and I don't see any hurry to find someone tomorrow.  (I'm 25)  


But your expiration date for child bearing is nearing, and when you pass it the pool of interested men is going to dwindle significantly.


Suddenly, I feel like a dairy product.



Let me guess:  Cheese?



[Realizes which forum I'm in and attempts to casually head for the exit]
Link Posted: 9/4/2008 12:29:08 PM EDT

Originally Posted By daisywench:
<----  has 3 cats.

<---- is NOT a crazy cat lady.



Has 4 cats and isn't crazy either. Although my son and husband say that when hubby dies I will become the cat lady. Not so.
Link Posted: 9/4/2008 3:48:16 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Skillshot:

Originally Posted By TechGal26:
I could very well be thought of as a crazy cat lady, I just happen to have no interest in dating at the moment and I don't see any hurry to find someone tomorrow.  (I'm 25)  


But your expiration date for child bearing is nearing, and when you pass it the pool of interested men is going to dwindle significantly.
What???  I turned 25 a few weeks ago and now I find out that I am getting old?

I don't deny that there are problems that occur in pregnancies of older women, but those aren't always going to happen.  My mother was 37 when she had my brother and 39 when she had me.  
Some women - myself included can't have a baby of their own.  My hubby and I would likely have to go through an adoption, and, from what I hear they don't have issues of someone who is pushing or pulling their 30's adopting.  
So when I think of having kids, I know it'll be a long wait.  I want a child, but I want to have a happy home to raise them in.

GG26 - It does look like women can't win either way.  

Link Posted: 9/4/2008 3:49:16 PM EDT

Originally Posted By wildearp:
Once you get a second cat, that red flag will outweigh 'standards'.


I have two.  
Link Posted: 9/5/2008 11:58:40 PM EDT

Originally Posted By daisywench:
<----  has 3 cats.

<---- is NOT a crazy cat lady.



and needs to move to colorado
Link Posted: 9/6/2008 12:07:45 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Shane333:
The answer is the same for any man with high standards:  If you're looking for a companion of similar standards you need to be where other people of similar standards are and associate with people who have the standards you're looking for.

For example:  A man looking for a "virtuous woman" (as described in Proverbs 31) isn't very likely to find her at a bar or strip club.  That's just common sense.


YOu are correct.  I am on a couple dating sights.  It kills me when a woman who is 60 pounds over weight 40 years old and not very attractive says she is only looking for buff guys who are hot and other odd inconsistancies.  Standards are good but be reallistic.  Some one who looks like rosie odonnell and has a similiar personality but no where near the money should not be expecting a hot 23 year old stud to be chasing her down.
Link Posted: 9/6/2008 6:03:15 AM EDT

Originally Posted By paddymurphy:

Originally Posted By daisywench:
<----  has 3 cats.

<---- is NOT a crazy cat lady.



and needs to move to colorado


If she does, I ain't helping this time.
Link Posted: 9/6/2008 8:35:57 AM EDT

Originally Posted By paddymurphy:

Originally Posted By Shane333:
The answer is the same for any man with high standards:  If you're looking for a companion of similar standards you need to be where other people of similar standards are and associate with people who have the standards you're looking for.

For example:  A man looking for a "virtuous woman" (as described in Proverbs 31) isn't very likely to find her at a bar or strip club.  That's just common sense.


YOu are correct.  I am on a couple dating sights.  It kills me when a woman who is 60 pounds over weight 40 years old and not very attractive says she is only looking for buff guys who are hot and other odd inconsistancies.  Standards are good but be reallistic.  Some one who looks like rosie odonnell and has a similiar personality but no where near the money should not be expecting a hot 23 year old stud to be chasing her down.


Holy Jumping up and Down Martha talk about double standards. I belong to a dating site as well and believe you me there are far more men that are 6-7 inches shorter than me, out weigh me by a good 50-60 pounds, balding and can't spell hitting on me than visa versa.  
Link Posted: 9/6/2008 7:55:31 PM EDT

Originally Posted By QueenDeNile:

Originally Posted By paddymurphy:

Originally Posted By Shane333:
The answer is the same for any man with high standards:  If you're looking for a companion of similar standards you need to be where other people of similar standards are and associate with people who have the standards you're looking for.

For example:  A man looking for a "virtuous woman" (as described in Proverbs 31) isn't very likely to find her at a bar or strip club.  That's just common sense.


YOu are correct.  I am on a couple dating sights.  It kills me when a woman who is 60 pounds over weight 40 years old and not very attractive says she is only looking for buff guys who are hot and other odd inconsistancies.  Standards are good but be reallistic.  Some one who looks like rosie odonnell and has a similiar personality but no where near the money should not be expecting a hot 23 year old stud to be chasing her down.


Holy Jumping up and Down Martha talk about double standards. I belong to a dating site as well and believe you me there are far more men that are 6-7 inches shorter than me, out weigh me by a good 50-60 pounds, balding and can't spell hitting on me than visa versa.  


Ouch!  Direct hit, dead center.  Balding here and 60 lbs heavier than my wife.

I'll go sit in the corner now.
Link Posted: 9/6/2008 8:02:23 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Shane333:

Originally Posted By QueenDeNile:

Originally Posted By paddymurphy:

Originally Posted By Shane333:
The answer is the same for any man with high standards:  If you're looking for a companion of similar standards you need to be where other people of similar standards are and associate with people who have the standards you're looking for.

For example:  A man looking for a "virtuous woman" (as described in Proverbs 31) isn't very likely to find her at a bar or strip club.  That's just common sense.


YOu are correct.  I am on a couple dating sights.  It kills me when a woman who is 60 pounds over weight 40 years old and not very attractive says she is only looking for buff guys who are hot and other odd inconsistancies.  Standards are good but be reallistic.  Some one who looks like rosie odonnell and has a similiar personality but no where near the money should not be expecting a hot 23 year old stud to be chasing her down.


Holy Jumping up and Down Martha talk about double standards. I belong to a dating site as well and believe you me there are far more men that are 6-7 inches shorter than me, out weigh me by a good 50-60 pounds, balding and can't spell hitting on me than visa versa.  


Ouch!  Direct hit, dead center.  Balding here and 60 lbs heavier than my wife.

I'll go sit in the corner now.


The question is: do you expect her to be a perfect woman when you aren't a perfect man?
I think that was Queen's point.  
Link Posted: 9/6/2008 8:41:02 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/6/2008 8:43:56 PM EDT by uglygun]

Originally Posted By TechGal26:


<~~Has high standards, and cats - I choose to think that way~~


Clearly, pictures are needed.

In standard Caturday fashion, include pictures of the cats as well.   Scoring will be determined by a direct correlation of cuteness of said kittehs and the magnitude of disarray of said cat owner's hair.

Somebody needs to see the episode of the Simpsons where they show the making of the cat lady progressing from a young 20 something lawyer Alley McBeal type into the horror...





BTW, I like cats just fine so it's not the women with cats that scare me.   It's when I would prefer the cats OVER the woman that gets me scared.
Link Posted: 9/6/2008 9:14:02 PM EDT

Originally Posted By QueenDeNile:

Originally Posted By paddymurphy:

Originally Posted By Shane333:
The answer is the same for any man with high standards:  If you're looking for a companion of similar standards you need to be where other people of similar standards are and associate with people who have the standards you're looking for.

For example:  A man looking for a "virtuous woman" (as described in Proverbs 31) isn't very likely to find her at a bar or strip club.  That's just common sense.


YOu are correct.  I am on a couple dating sights.  It kills me when a woman who is 60 pounds over weight 40 years old and not very attractive says she is only looking for buff guys who are hot and other odd inconsistancies.  Standards are good but be reallistic.  Some one who looks like rosie odonnell and has a similiar personality but no where near the money should not be expecting a hot 23 year old stud to be chasing her down.


Holy Jumping up and Down Martha talk about double standards. I belong to a dating site as well and believe you me there are far more men that are 6-7 inches shorter than me, out weigh me by a good 50-60 pounds, balding and can't spell hitting on me than visa versa.  


No, it is not a double standard.   If I say it is ok for guys to do it then it is a double standard.  I just do not know what guys put in their profiles on dating sites cause I am there for the girls.  Seocndly the question was unrealistic women.  I never said men could not have unrealistic expectations.  YOU ASSUMED that is what I was saying.  Point of fact one of the dating sites I am on has a very active social group that I am a part of.  I am friends with several of the women on there and have heard the stories.  I know there are equally unrealistic men out there.  I never said there weren't.

Secondly, I was not talking about writing some one (or as you put it hitting on).  I was talking about stating in your profile and/or using contact filters to automatically eliminate people.  As far as contacting that is a whole nother ball game Martha.  
Link Posted: 9/6/2008 9:17:50 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TechGal26:

Originally Posted By Shane333:

Originally Posted By QueenDeNile:

Originally Posted By paddymurphy:

Originally Posted By Shane333:
The answer is the same for any man with high standards:  If you're looking for a companion of similar standards you need to be where other people of similar standards are and associate with people who have the standards you're looking for.

For example:  A man looking for a "virtuous woman" (as described in Proverbs 31) isn't very likely to find her at a bar or strip club.  That's just common sense.


YOu are correct.  I am on a couple dating sights.  It kills me when a woman who is 60 pounds over weight 40 years old and not very attractive says she is only looking for buff guys who are hot and other odd inconsistancies.  Standards are good but be reallistic.  Some one who looks like rosie odonnell and has a similiar personality but no where near the money should not be expecting a hot 23 year old stud to be chasing her down.


Holy Jumping up and Down Martha talk about double standards. I belong to a dating site as well and believe you me there are far more men that are 6-7 inches shorter than me, out weigh me by a good 50-60 pounds, balding and can't spell hitting on me than visa versa.  


Ouch!  Direct hit, dead center.  Balding here and 60 lbs heavier than my wife.

I'll go sit in the corner now.


The question is: do you expect her to be a perfect woman when you aren't a perfect man?
I think that was Queen's point.  


No, perfection died on May 1st of this year.  However, the point was unrealistic expectations.  I have dated women that were smoking hot and butt ugly.  Incredible bodies and 350 pounds.  My point was if you filter/write you can only be contacted by super buff guys with 8"+ penis size age 20-30 and you are a 35 year old woman 60 pounds over weight and average looking you are not going to get a lot of matches.  She could very well have a wonderful personality and be the perfect woman.  But most guys are going to read that and move on.
Link Posted: 9/6/2008 9:43:46 PM EDT

Originally Posted By paddymurphy:

No, perfection died on May 1st of this year.  However, the point was unrealistic expectations.  I have dated women that were smoking hot and butt ugly.  Incredible bodies and 350 pounds.  My point was if you filter/write you can only be contacted by super buff guys with 8"+ penis size age 20-30 and you are a 35 year old woman 60 pounds over weight and average looking you are not going to get a lot of matches.  She could very well have a wonderful personality and be the perfect woman.  But most guys are going to read that and move on.


That is a good point.  However, high standards doesn't not mean obseanly unrealistic demands.  I have pretty realistic standards, I also understand that people aren't going to be the normal them all the time.  There are stresses in life, along with sorrows, losses, and anger.  
Having standards is important, but understanding in times of trial is as well.  

In my standards I could care less if someone has a short temper - it is how they behave when they are angry that matters.

Link Posted: 9/6/2008 10:16:50 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TechGal26:

Originally Posted By paddymurphy:

No, perfection died on May 1st of this year.  However, the point was unrealistic expectations.  I have dated women that were smoking hot and butt ugly.  Incredible bodies and 350 pounds.  My point was if you filter/write you can only be contacted by super buff guys with 8"+ penis size age 20-30 and you are a 35 year old woman 60 pounds over weight and average looking you are not going to get a lot of matches.  She could very well have a wonderful personality and be the perfect woman.  But most guys are going to read that and move on.


That is a good point.  However, high standards doesn't not mean obseanly unrealistic demands.  I have pretty realistic standards, I also understand that people aren't going to be the normal them all the time.  There are stresses in life, along with sorrows, losses, and anger.  
Having standards is important, but understanding in times of trial is as well.  

In my standards I could care less if someone has a short temper - it is how they behave when they are angry that matters.


That makes sense.  So, how does a guy that talks about it rationally and then shuts up vents to friends and lets the crap go sound?
Link Posted: 9/7/2008 12:42:31 AM EDT

Originally Posted By paddymurphy:

Originally Posted By TechGal26:

Originally Posted By paddymurphy:

No, perfection died on May 1st of this year.  However, the point was unrealistic expectations.  I have dated women that were smoking hot and butt ugly.  Incredible bodies and 350 pounds.  My point was if you filter/write you can only be contacted by super buff guys with 8"+ penis size age 20-30 and you are a 35 year old woman 60 pounds over weight and average looking you are not going to get a lot of matches.  She could very well have a wonderful personality and be the perfect woman.  But most guys are going to read that and move on.


That is a good point.  However, high standards doesn't not mean obseanly unrealistic demands.  I have pretty realistic standards, I also understand that people aren't going to be the normal them all the time.  There are stresses in life, along with sorrows, losses, and anger.  
Having standards is important, but understanding in times of trial is as well.  

In my standards I could care less if someone has a short temper - it is how they behave when they are angry that matters.


That makes sense.  So, how does a guy that talks about it rationally and then shuts up vents to friends and lets the crap go sound?
To good to be true!
Link Posted: 9/7/2008 12:45:49 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/7/2008 12:46:11 AM EDT by JBlitzen]
Good thread for a nice pic I found on google earlier.

Link Posted: 9/7/2008 2:56:09 AM EDT

Originally Posted By TechGal26:

Originally Posted By paddymurphy:

Originally Posted By TechGal26:

Originally Posted By paddymurphy:

No, perfection died on May 1st of this year.  However, the point was unrealistic expectations.  I have dated women that were smoking hot and butt ugly.  Incredible bodies and 350 pounds.  My point was if you filter/write you can only be contacted by super buff guys with 8"+ penis size age 20-30 and you are a 35 year old woman 60 pounds over weight and average looking you are not going to get a lot of matches.  She could very well have a wonderful personality and be the perfect woman.  But most guys are going to read that and move on.


That is a good point.  However, high standards doesn't not mean obseanly unrealistic demands.  I have pretty realistic standards, I also understand that people aren't going to be the normal them all the time.  There are stresses in life, along with sorrows, losses, and anger.  
Having standards is important, but understanding in times of trial is as well.  

In my standards I could care less if someone has a short temper - it is how they behave when they are angry that matters.


That makes sense.  So, how does a guy that talks about it rationally and then shuts up vents to friends and lets the crap go sound?
To good to be true!


 That hurt.  Medic!!!!!!!!!!

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