Woman vicegrips mans testicles until they explode

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Woman vicegrips mans testicles until they explode (Page 1 of 2)

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:04:38 PM EDT

Well, not exactly... but that could have been the worst case scenario.

...
According to the police report, the husband was lying on the couch in his living room when his wife noticed her $15,000 ring was missing from the place she normally kept it.

...grabbed a knife and threatened to kill him...

...she put down the knife and walked over to him as he lay on the couch, the report said. She reached down and "firmly" grabbed his left testicle and refused to let go, authorities said.

The police report stated that she held on for about two minutes before finally releasing her grip.
...
When authorities arrived at the scene, a photo of the testicle showed red marks and bruises.
...

http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/weird/Woman––135258578.html

Picture by mustardtiger

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:05:45 PM EDT

[#1]

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:06:31 PM EDT

[#2]

They'd have had to take me to jail.

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:07:44 PM EDT

[#3]

My balls hurt just by reading that.

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:09:08 PM EDT

[#4]

Quoted:
They'd have had to take me to jail.

And clean her remains off the carpet.

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:11:17 PM EDT

[#5]

Couple 12-6 elbows to the face or fingers into the eyes and she'd let go

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:11:39 PM EDT

[#6]

She looks like Kathy Bates playing Annie Wilkes in "Misery".

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:12:42 PM EDT

[#7]

"Look at my balls, officer! LOOK AT THEM."

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:13:47 PM EDT

[#8]

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:13:52 PM EDT

[#9]

"I was in fear of great bodily harm. I wish to speak with an attorney. My chest hurts, will you call me an ambulance?"

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:15:05 PM EDT

[#10]

That's just nuts.

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:15:06 PM EDT

[#11]

Fat vile whore.
Ew.

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:17:48 PM EDT

[#12]

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:19:37 PM EDT

[#13]

My brother's second wife did something similar to him twice (grabbed his family jewels).
The first time he told her to never do it again.
The second time she did it he knocked her out with a fist.
She filed charges on him and a judge evicted him from their home with the kids.

That was about 20 years ago. Times may have changed but domestic violence can be one hellacious mess for a family.

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:19:50 PM EDT

[#14]

Those are the craziest googly eyes I've ever seen.

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:20:12 PM EDT

[#15]

I screamed after reading the headline.

I screamed like a little bitch.

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:20:14 PM EDT

[#16]

Winner of the most painfully exaggerated thread title of the day.

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:22:32 PM EDT

[#17]

S
S
S

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:28:46 PM EDT

[#18]

No cross-eyed jokes yet? Come on people.

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:29:27 PM EDT

[#19]

15 K$ ring for THAT?

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:36:38 PM EDT

[#20]

I don't even have balls and that hurt. What the crap?!

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:36:38 PM EDT

[#21]

True story:

I have a close friend named Travis who was assaulted by his ex-girlfriend. She stalked him at his home one night and found his new girfriends car there. She started by bashing the windshield then when Travis came out to stop her (wearing only boxers) he pushed her down and stood over her screaming. She grabbed his balls and yanked as hard as she could ripping one out of his sack.

She then calmly left.
He was in ICU for a few days after that while they tried to save his balls. I remember him cussing at me when I would make him laugh because it hurt. He used to show people the blood stains on his hardwood floor and say "that's when my balls got ripped off". This all happened back in the early 90s.

What I gathered from this is to NEVER date the crazy.

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:37:00 PM EDT

[#22]

That woman is herp derp strong!

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:44:18 PM EDT

[#23]

I would have kicked that bitch's eye straight.

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:44:51 PM EDT

[#24]

never trust a woman with a wonky eye

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:46:30 PM EDT

[#25]

Reminds me of the subpoena joke.

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:48:58 PM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:

never trust a woman with a wonky eye

Seems like a good rule of thumb.

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:53:26 PM EDT

[#27]

Quoted:
http://i878.photobucket.com/albums/ab344/MustardTiger2009/crazybish.jpg

Maybe she was looking in the wrong place for the ring.

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:54:38 PM EDT

[#28]

Florida is the Capitol of Crazy.

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:54:40 PM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:
15 K$ ring for THAT?

That's what I was going to post. That guy must have the worst luck in history when it comes to getting tail to marry that.

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:55:24 PM EDT

[#30]

That's not how you give a handjob.

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:55:29 PM EDT

[#31]

The eyes just do not get any crazier than that.

Posted: 12/11/2011 8:55:50 PM EDT

[#32]

I guess she got a bit testy.

Posted: 12/11/2011 9:04:02 PM EDT

[#33]

How the deuce do you get a smiley face in a poll?

Posted: 12/11/2011 9:15:45 PM EDT

[#34]

She is a lazy eyed dike. Trust me.

Posted: 12/11/2011 9:21:02 PM EDT

[#35]

Posted: 12/11/2011 9:23:04 PM EDT

[#36]

Quoted:

I lol'd

Posted: 12/11/2011 9:27:40 PM EDT

[#37]

Quoted:

She is a lazy eyed dike dikfer. Trust me.

So THAT'S what a dikfer is.

Posted: 12/11/2011 9:28:05 PM EDT

[#38]

Quoted:
http://i878.photobucket.com/albums/ab344/MustardTiger2009/crazybish.jpg

What's she lookin' at?

Posted: 12/11/2011 9:35:48 PM EDT

[#39]

Wasn't me.

Posted: 12/11/2011 9:39:47 PM EDT

[#40]

Quoted:

Quoted:
http://i878.photobucket.com/albums/ab344/MustardTiger2009/crazybish.jpg

Maybe she was looking in the wrong place for the ring.

Posted: 12/11/2011 11:01:38 PM EDT

[#41]

Quoted:
"Look at my balls, officer! LOOK AT THEM."

Posted: 12/12/2011 12:45:40 AM EDT

[#42]

Why would any one in their right mind pay 15k for a ring??? Hell, you could buy 5 M4's and a shit pot of ammo for that much money.

Posted: 12/12/2011 12:53:20 AM EDT

[#43]

...and then she yelled I AM A BOY DAMON!

Posted: 12/12/2011 1:16:47 AM EDT

[#44]

After working a 16 hour day,she was tired of coming home and finding him on the sofa.

Posted: 12/12/2011 1:22:05 AM EDT

[#45]

That right eye seems problematic

Posted: 12/12/2011 1:36:57 AM EDT

[#46]

Where's that damn "do not want" pic?

Posted: 12/12/2011 1:38:05 AM EDT

[#47]

Daym!!!!! That bitch could pick apples and look for snakes at the same time!!!!

Posted: 12/12/2011 1:49:03 AM EDT

[#48]

Her left eye must be really interesting. Her right eye keeps looking at it.

Posted: 12/12/2011 1:51:15 AM EDT

[#49]

That would hurt. Bitch would get knocked out, and I don't hit women. Well, once, and in a similar situation.

If any of you were around in the 1980s and a teen around oh, say 16 years old, you'll understand. One of the horrible fashions or that time for guys, were these silk looking shorts. Sure, they were comfortable, and on girls, looked absolutely fantastic, but in retrospect, were not real manly on us. Anyway. I was at the river house with my girlfriend and her cousin. We'd been drinking and swimming and other things and I got tired, and I passed out on the recliner under the a/c. Cousin, hot as she was, decides it's a bright idea to get a lighter and see how flammable my nuts were.

Answer? Nuts are indeed flammable when shorts are set on fire first. Drunk bitch was down there trying to blow the fire out. I just felt warm at first, and cracked open an eye to see her on her knees between my legs with her lips half an inch from my pecker. Heaven right? Until, the intense pain actually woke me up. I leaned forward and swung for the nearest thing to my pain, hitting her in the chin as she tried to stand up and knocking her out cold.Then I noticed the actual fire that had spread rapidly along my groin area. In less than a second, the girlfriend threw a glass of water on it, putting it out. I was pissed. I did receive restitution from the cousin about a week after the incident. So I guess all went well.

Posted: 12/12/2011 2:02:04 AM EDT

[#50]

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Woman vicegrips mans testicles until they explode (Page 1 of 2)

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