Dear Consumers:
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 98 KENTUCKY EDITION may have been shipped outside of kentucky. If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands.

The kentucky edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen.
It reads: WINDERS 98, with a background picture of Gen. Robert E. Lee superimposed on a confederate flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazzard screen saver.

Please also note:
The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
Dial up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
Control Panel is known as "Dashboard"
Hard Drive is referred to as "4 Wheel Drive"
Floppies are "them little ol plastic disc thangs"
Instead of an error message, a "garbage bag and roll of duct tape" pops up.


CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN KENTUKY EDITION:
OK................ats aw-right.
Cancel............stopdat.
Reset.............try er agin.
Yes...............yep.
No................noop.
Find..............hunt fer it.
Go to.............over yonder.
Back..............back yonder.
Help..............hep me out here.
Stop..............kwitit.
Start.............crank er up.
Settings..........settins.
Documents.........stuff ah done did.
Programs..........stuff at duz stuff.

Also note that KENTUCKY EDITION does not recognize capital letters and punctuation marks.

Some programs that are exclusive to winders 98:
Tiperiter..........a wurd processing program.
Colerin Book.......a graphics program.
Cyferin Mersheen...calculator.
Outhouse Paper.....notepad.
iner-net...........Microsoft Explorer 4.0
Pichers............A graphics viewer.

We regret any inconveniece it may have caused you if you received a copy of the KENTUCKY EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft@ for a replacement version.
I hope this heps al y'all!!!


Billy Bob Gates.

he he he
hoo hoo hoo hoo
HA HA HA HOO HOO HOO
BWWWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHAAAAAAAHHHAAAAAAA !!!!!!
its funny cuz its true...
[x]

Continuing whid dis high tech stuffdoohickey:

You know you're a High-tech Redneck when:

1. You bring your laptop to all the Tractor Pulls.

2. When you're friends comment on your "nice boots" and you say "Yea, thanks. Its my spiffy, new Phoenix BIOS."

3. When you're honked off at your computer warranty because it doesn't cover damage from "Bovine Saliva."

4. When your computer toolkit contains a pitch fork.

5. When your MS-DOS boot menu contains an entry called, "Cow Tipping Configuration."

6. When you spend too much time browsing "http://www.hee-haw.com."

7. When your wife catches you again with your "Farm Animals of the Orient" CD-ROM.

8. When you order your new pick-up truck with a gunrack AND PCMCIA sockets.

9. When, in a pinch, you use your laptop battery to jump-start the Combine.

10. When you have 17 different versions of DOOM, but you still can't write your name.

11. If your e-mail address ends in ".over.yonder.com."

12. If you connect to the World Wide Web via a "Down Home Page."

13. If the bumper sticker on your truck says "My other computer is a laptop."

14. If your laptop has a sticker that says "Protected by Smith and Wesson."

15. If you've ever doubled the value of your truck by installing a cellular phone (with modem and fax option).

16. If your baseball cap reads "DEC" instead of "CAT."

17. If your computer is worth more than all your cars combined.

18. If your wife said "either she or the computer had to go," and you still don't miss her.

19. If you've ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster to set your beer on.

20. If you ever refer to your computer as "Ole Bessy."

21. If your screen saver is a bitmap image of your favorite truck, tractor, or farm animal.

22. If you start all your e-mails with the words "Howdy y'all."

23. If you think NORTON UTILITIES is a tool shop.


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