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Posted: 12/4/2007 5:37:16 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/4/2007 5:37:58 PM EDT by 57Strat]
2:30 AM last night.

I am in a deep sleep. I am awakened by my wife hitting me and yelling at me. The lights in our bedroom are on. She yelling, "SOMEONE IS BREAKING INTO THE HOUSE!!! SOMEONE IS BREAKING INTO THE HOUSE!!! "

Well...I am half asleep, and as I reach for my P226 .357, my heart is pounding out of my chest. I am asking my wife what she heard. She says "DON'T YOU HEAR THAT????"

I have my P226 pointed at the bedroom door, hammer cocked. Then I notice a chirping sound. So I ask my wife again what she heard. She says the burglar alarm is going off. I said, "You mean that chirping sound?". She says, "yes". I told her that sound "IS THE FOOKING SMOKE DETECTOR LOW BATTERY WARNING. THANKS A FOOKING LOT FOR GIVING ME A HEART ATTACK."

She tells me to hurry up and change the battery and come back to bed.

Link Posted: 12/4/2007 5:38:27 PM EDT
anti-climatic
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 5:38:54 PM EDT
Good test, but get your wife on the same page.
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 5:39:10 PM EDT
.1/10
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 5:39:23 PM EDT


I call B.S.

Sig 226 in 357 is

Link Posted: 12/4/2007 5:39:34 PM EDT
You did not change the batteries when you changed your clocks?
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 5:39:35 PM EDT

Originally Posted By roboman:
.1/10



Link Posted: 12/4/2007 5:39:50 PM EDT
So, did you shoot it?
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 5:39:59 PM EDT
Sounds like tons o fun.
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 5:42:36 PM EDT
did you do a quick practice choke on the wife before going back to sleep?
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 5:42:40 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Surf:
You did not change the batteries when you changed your clocks?



Is that the routine? Twice a year?
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 5:47:50 PM EDT

Originally Posted By 57Strat:

Originally Posted By Surf:
You did not change the batteries when you changed your clocks?


Is that the routine? Twice a year?


From people who sell batteries. Mine last 3 years before the low alarm goes off, twice a year is a little overkill.
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 5:47:53 PM EDT

Originally Posted By dedfella:
did you do a quick practice choke on the wife before going back to sleep?




No...I told her I was extremely stressed NOW and needed to be "relaxed". Evidently she was feeling very, very, very guilty.
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 5:50:13 PM EDT

Originally Posted By 57Strat:

Originally Posted By dedfella:
did you do a quick practice choke on the wife before going back to sleep?




No...I told her I was extremely stressed NOW and needed to be "relaxed". Evidently she was feeling very, very, very guilty.



ah

much better plan
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 5:50:40 PM EDT

Originally Posted By O_R_B_1:


I call B.S.

Sig 226 in 357 is




Thank God I didn't have a Glock in the nightstand, because I would have likley had an AD.
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 5:53:03 PM EDT
Having the wife be sensitive to unusual sounds at nite is not the worst thing in the world... A lot of us have to buy dogs for that!
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 5:53:42 PM EDT
To get back at her, the next time she screams that, do nothing.
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 5:54:42 PM EDT
I bet that took a few years off of your life. At least you were prepared. Althtough your wife yelling a burgular is coming may not be the best tactic.
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 5:59:16 PM EDT
Try figuring out which of the 3 in the hallway is chirping at 2:00 AM in the morning.

Link Posted: 12/4/2007 6:03:08 PM EDT

Originally Posted By innocent_bystander:
Try figuring out which of the 3 in the hallway is chirping at 2:00 AM in the morning.





Yep...been there. I changed all the batteries and one of them was still chirping. I ended up just unplugging the detector from the ceiling in the bedroom and the one outside in the hall. Then went back to bed with my eyes filled with insulation and sheetrock.
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 6:04:17 PM EDT
One night, our alarm did go off, but it did not wake me up. The wife screams in my ear to wake up that the alarm was going off. It is like 2:30 am and I am in my B_Day suit. I grab my 357 and start trying to clear the house half asleep (before kids). I make it to the kitchen and the door to the back stair case is open! I walk down the rear stairs with my revolver at the ready to clear the stairs like the best of them. When I get downstairs, all of the exteriors doors are still locked from the inside! I then realized that the kitchen door must not have been bolted and was blown open by the wind. We could not get back to sleep for the rest of the night.
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 6:05:47 PM EDT
This reminds me of my alarm story. About 3am one night the burglar alarm goes off. I roll out of bed and grab my Glock and flashlight and head for the stairs to get to my 2 y/o daughter’s room. My wife rolled out of her side of the bed and headed for the alarm panel and to grab a phone.

I storm up the stairs full blast. I’m not caring if I’m sneaky, tactical or smart. No m.f.’er is getting out the house with my daughter. (This was during the time period just after the little girl in Utah was kidnapped by the lunatic handyman, so I had that on my mind.) I get to the baby’s room and she’s gone. I died for just a second and then starting yelling at my wife, “the baby is gone, do you see her, are there any doors or windows open?” Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

The wife finds our daughter in our bed. She climbed out her crib, came down stairs and climbed into our bed between us without waking us. When we rolled out of our sides of the bed nobody noticed the little girl in our bed. She slept through the whole thing. It turns out a major wind storm rattled the windows enough to set off the alarm.
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 6:24:14 PM EDT

Originally Posted By -AR18-:
Having the wife be sensitive to unusual sounds at nite is not the worst thing in the world... A lot of us have to buy dogs for that!


You wind up with a bitch to have to feed either way.


Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. Two shows twice daily. Try the veal, and be certain to tip your waiters.
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 6:25:38 PM EDT
Put her on Kitchen Patrol for the rest of 2007.
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 6:30:18 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/4/2007 6:31:21 PM EDT by Fro1911Nut]
I was home sick from work and the wife had set the alarm when she left...we dont have a phone upstairs and the cell was downstairs....well she cant get me on the phone and im outa it on cold med..
Well she starts to get worried and calls mom to come over and ck on me....well the wife left without shutting the damn garage door...so mom comes threw the door from the garage and sets off the alarm...
My loving mother shuts the door and goes back to her car to get the alarm code [://
I round the corner coming into are den with Glock in hand as the door swings open...well Mom is luck I dont shoot 1st and ask questions latter....she about passed out when I screamed "DONT FUCKING MOVE OR ILL SHOOT"! "O hey mom"
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 6:36:05 PM EDT
If a situation occurs where you have to be "ready" for something right after waking up, punch yourself in the face. Works like a charm.


If you wear glasses, punch yourself BEFORE you put them on.

Nothing ends grogginess like a punch in the face.

Last time I used it was for a 4am doorbell ring. Brother flew in a day early and decided not to tell me.

- BG
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 6:39:41 PM EDT
Didn't happen. Your post count isn't high enough.
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 6:40:29 PM EDT

Originally Posted By DernHumpus:
So, did you shoot it?



Good question...............



Link Posted: 12/4/2007 6:41:56 PM EDT
I killed a smoke detector one night.
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 6:41:57 PM EDT
Why does that shit only happen at 2-3am?

Smoke alarm , shelves falling of the wall, had a powered sub woofer go ape shit once and start thumping as hard as it could with a shorted out amp

that crap never happens at 8pm when you are sitting there watching TV

fuck you Mr Murphy
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 6:44:21 PM EDT

Originally Posted By DernHumpus:
So, did you shoot it?


...or shoot her.
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 6:47:32 PM EDT

Originally Posted By 57Strat:

Originally Posted By dedfella:
did you do a quick practice choke on the wife before going back to sleep?




No...I told her I was extremely stressed NOW and needed to be "relaxed". Evidently she was feeling very, very, very guilty.


Only on Arfcom could a draw down story turn into bragging about getting pie a few minutes afterwards.

Pie is a good thing.

I like pie.

John
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 6:48:32 PM EDT
Fooking? Are you Irish?
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 6:50:47 PM EDT
I have observed something odd.

My wife wakes me all the time because she hears stuff. I just sleep through it and it turns out to be nothing. When my wife does manage to wake me, I can barely move or think and all I want to do is sleep.

But sounds of real stuff, someone coming in late at night, the garage door opening, a window getting knocked, etc... wake me immediately and makes me wide awake mentally.

It is as if my subconscious mind can tell the difference and filters out the explainable stuff. I have always found this trait odd. Anyone else observe this or have heard of it.

Now, I do not count on it. I live in fear that one time there will be a real problem and I will not be able to wake up.

Link Posted: 12/4/2007 7:00:27 PM EDT
Ever test a smoke or carbon monoxide detector to see how the family, esp children, react?

>30 years ago I crawled under the bed and cried, whereas now I would surely leap from the bed and be fully sober alert and armed within seconds
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 7:04:41 PM EDT

Originally Posted By 57Strat:

Originally Posted By Surf:
You did not change the batteries when you changed your clocks?



Is that the routine? Twice a year?


I think once a year on a date important to you. We use my first sons birthday. The used batteries then get used in guitar effects and kids toys until dead.
Link Posted: 12/4/2007 7:09:17 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Robby9:
This reminds me of my alarm story. About 3am one night the burglar alarm goes off. I roll out of bed and grab my Glock and flashlight and head for the stairs to get to my 2 y/o daughter’s room. My wife rolled out of her side of the bed and headed for the alarm panel and to grab a phone.

I storm up the stairs full blast. I’m not caring if I’m sneaky, tactical or smart. No m.f.’er is getting out the house with my daughter. (This was during the time period just after the little girl in Utah was kidnapped by the lunatic handyman, so I had that on my mind.) I get to the baby’s room and she’s gone. I died for just a second and then starting yelling at my wife, “the baby is gone, do you see her, are there any doors or windows open?” Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

The wife finds our daughter in our bed. She climbed out her crib, came down stairs and climbed into our bed between us without waking us. When we rolled out of our sides of the bed nobody noticed the little girl in our bed. She slept through the whole thing. It turns out a major wind storm rattled the windows enough to set off the alarm.



I know how you felt.

Glad she was OK
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