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Posted: 8/22/2006 1:11:22 PM EDT
I work for a big company based out of another city and I work in a small office.
We have no HR rep on site.
You have a benefit question?
Call India
You have a question about our 401k?
Call india
You have a complaint?
Call India

the ONLY time that HR ever comes on site is when we have layoffs.

Guess who is in the guest office on site today and tomorrow?


It ain't India

Link Posted: 8/22/2006 1:13:00 PM EDT
[#1]
Tink yoo com agin.
Link Posted: 8/22/2006 1:26:55 PM EDT
[#2]
Shit.....I need to move to India.


Link Posted: 8/22/2006 2:44:46 PM EDT
[#3]

Quoted:
.
.
the ONLY time that HR ever comes on site is when we have layoffs.

Guess who is in the guest office on site today and tomorrow?
.
.

The "Hatchet" person(s) cometh.
Link Posted: 8/22/2006 2:52:44 PM EDT
[#4]
I thought it was because HR is populated by Bolsheviks.
Link Posted: 8/22/2006 2:59:40 PM EDT
[#5]
I wish our HR dept. was in India!!

The person that runs it is a friggen' ICE QUEEN and Hatchet Lady.

She is good looking, but as they say, "Pretty on the outside, ugly on the inside....."



Link Posted: 8/22/2006 3:03:05 PM EDT
[#6]

Quoted:
I wish our HR dept. was in India!!

The person that runs it is a friggen' ICE QUEEN and Hatchet Lady.

She is good looking, but as they say, "Pretty on the outside, ugly on the inside....."





"Isn't it all pink on the inside?"
Link Posted: 8/22/2006 3:04:07 PM EDT
[#7]

Quoted:
I wish our HR dept. was in India!!

The person that runs it is a friggen' ICE QUEEN and Hatchet Lady.

She is good looking, but as they say, "Pretty on the outside, ugly on the inside....."

She is wears clothes that dont fit and is irritating and backstabbing.





ours is a real bitch--thankfully her assistant is great--she does all the work, poor woamn
Link Posted: 8/22/2006 3:07:44 PM EDT
[#8]

Quoted:
I work for a big company based out of another city and I work in a small office.
We have no HR rep on site.
You have a benefit question?
Call India
You have a question about our 401k?
Call india
You have a complaint?
Call India

the ONLY time that HR ever comes on site is when we have layoffs.

Guess who is in the guest office on site today and tomorrow?


It ain't India



Wow, sounds like we might work at the same place.  Are you guys having an "all-hands" meeting tomorrow by chance???

Fearless
Link Posted: 8/22/2006 3:19:36 PM EDT
[#9]
I have a co-worker from India, India doesn't sound all that bad actually.  Worth a 2-3 month extended stay at least when I can get one.
Link Posted: 8/22/2006 5:24:36 PM EDT
[#10]

Quoted:

Quoted:
the ONLY time that HR ever comes on site is when we have layoffs.

Guess who is in the guest office on site today and tomorrow?
It ain't India



Wow, sounds like we might work at the same place.  Are you guys having an "all-hands" meeting tomorrow by chance???

Fearless


Actually no, they do it one by one
usually
although I did work for a place that had a mandatory all hands meeting and said "sorry, we're out of money, doors lock tomorrow"
that sucked

BTW, my job is in gunbarrel by boulder, hope that's not yours.
Link Posted: 8/22/2006 5:29:54 PM EDT
[#11]
I hope you don't get your red stapler confiscated or get a nice office in the basement.....
Link Posted: 8/22/2006 5:36:22 PM EDT
[#12]

Actually no, they do it one by one
usually
although I did work for a place that had a mandatory all hands meeting and said "sorry, we're out of money, doors lock tomorrow"
that sucked

BTW, my job is in gunbarrel by boulder, hope that's not yours.


Ah nope, I work in Louisville.

Fearless
Link Posted: 8/22/2006 5:38:57 PM EDT
[#13]
Sounds like somebody had a case of the Mondays...
Link Posted: 8/22/2006 5:47:32 PM EDT
[#14]
5 months ago corp HR came to visit.  Our local HR mgr didn't know they were coming.  He figured out what was up as they escorted him and his staff of two to the door along with several other co-workers.

As it stands now, if I need HR I have a far worse place to call...SLOHIO.
Link Posted: 8/22/2006 5:48:37 PM EDT
[#15]
99% of HR people are like leeches on an orginization, they contribute nothing.

There jobs exist because of government regulations.
Link Posted: 8/22/2006 5:53:17 PM EDT
[#16]

Quoted:
99% of HR people are like leeches on an orginization, they contribute nothing.

There jobs exist because of government regulations.



  They are nothing but corporate policy clowns!

Link Posted: 8/22/2006 5:57:41 PM EDT
[#17]

Quoted:
99% of HR people are like leeches on an orginization, they contribute nothing.

There jobs exist because of government regulations.



Not true.

HR is an extremely important function for large modern corporations (especially multinations), and only a very small proportion has to do with compliance with government regulations.

Things like designing selection systems and compensation systems, creating the appropriate incentives, and aligning HR strategy with overall organizational goals is difficult, and can add considerable value and competitive edge to a company.

Link Posted: 8/22/2006 6:00:41 PM EDT
[#18]
Gee, I thought it had to do with promoting "diversity" and holding "gay pride" celebrations and such.
Link Posted: 8/22/2006 6:09:21 PM EDT
[#19]
HR handles layoffs? I thought they were the sexual harrassment department.
Link Posted: 8/22/2006 6:23:49 PM EDT
[#20]

Quoted:

Quoted:
99% of HR people are like leeches on an orginization, they contribute nothing.

There jobs exist because of government regulations.



Not true.

HR is an extremely important function for large modern corporations (especially multinations), and only a very small proportion has to do with compliance with government regulations.

Things like designing selection systems and compensation systems, creating the appropriate incentives, and aligning HR strategy with overall organizational goals is difficult, and can add considerable value and competitive edge to a company.





well, now we know what DKProf does for a living.

stop, you're killing us.
Link Posted: 8/22/2006 7:48:20 PM EDT
[#21]
Link Posted: 8/22/2006 7:50:47 PM EDT
[#22]
HR Managers are like lawyers, you hate em until you need em.

Can't tell you how many people give me the cold shoulder, and then kiss my ass when they need to have authorization for a leave of absense that guarantees their job upon return.
Link Posted: 8/22/2006 7:53:17 PM EDT
[#23]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Quoted:
99% of HR people are like leeches on an orginization, they contribute nothing.

There jobs exist because of government regulations.



Not true.

HR is an extremely important function for large modern corporations (especially multinations), and only a very small proportion has to do with compliance with government regulations.

Things like designing selection systems and compensation systems, creating the appropriate incentives, and aligning HR strategy with overall organizational goals is difficult, and can add considerable value and competitive edge to a company.





well, now we know what DKProf does for a living.

stop, you're killing us.


DK is right, you think YOUR manager gives a shit if you get paid correctly? You think he gives a shit if you miss a day of vacation, or have other issues?

My profession is unthankful, and without HR, massive corporations would be a ringling brothers circus.

Accept it.
Link Posted: 8/22/2006 8:08:19 PM EDT
[#24]
Most of the so called "Professional HR" people I have met don't have a clue!  The ones I have met that work for multinational corporations (that I have worked for) really don't know what they are doing, one of their jobs is to make sure the company goes by the law, most don't have any idea what laws apply, or make sure they cross the t's and dot the i's to make sure they are in compliance.  Some of the people at HQ might know what they are doing, but the ones in the local office don't, they are over paid clowns.
Link Posted: 8/23/2006 1:08:32 PM EDT
[#25]

People hate HR because HR's job is to protect the company, not to protect the innocent, or to act justly, or to act humanely.
Link Posted: 8/23/2006 1:20:43 PM EDT
[#26]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Quoted:
99% of HR people are like leeches on an orginization, they contribute nothing.

There jobs exist because of government regulations.



Not true.

HR is an extremely important function for large modern corporations (especially multinations), and only a very small proportion has to do with compliance with government regulations.

Things like designing selection systems and compensation systems, creating the appropriate incentives, and aligning HR strategy with overall organizational goals is difficult, and can add considerable value and competitive edge to a company.





well, now we know what DKProf does for a living.

stop, you're killing us.






Or, alternatively, I actually KNOW what HR really does in large multi-billion-dollar corporations.

How do you think large corporations decide what incentive systems, bonus packages, and compensation schemes to use in order to motivate and attract/retain employees?  
How do you think large corporations decide what training and development is necessary for which job positions, and how to manage it?
How do you think large corporations decide who to hire, and how to separate the incompetent moron applicants from the competent ones?
How do you think large corporations decide how to structure contracts, non-compete agreements, etc?
How do you think large corporations monitor and manage issues of employee satisfation, justice, equity, etc,  in large geographically dispersed organizations?
How do you think large corporations figure out how to fire employees without exposing themselves to huge lawsuits all the time?

Do you think these things happen magically?  Or generalist managers just make it up?  Designing incentives systems and compensation packages, or selection systems, etc - are specialized skills.  There's a reason that top HR people have specialized Master's degrees in ILR or HR from schools like Cornell, Illinois or Ohio State that specifically teach this stuff.  (Along with the MBA and a couple others, it's one of the few functional and useful master's degrees out there)

If you don't understand how any of those things (and a whole host of other HR functions) contribute to the bottom line ofr Fortune 500 companies, then the problem is your ignorance, and not anything to do with what I do for a living.


And, no, my job has actually NOTHING to do with HR. The difference is that I know people who teach HR in top MBA programs in the country, and I know some top executives at Fortune 500 companies, and have talked to them about these things - so I actually have an understand of what HR actually is, and why it is important.
Link Posted: 8/23/2006 1:25:17 PM EDT
[#27]
Heh actually I'm waiting for a call from HR right now. Just waiting for them to finalize the paperwork so I can tell my current job to fark off and start my new one with similar money and less stress.
Link Posted: 8/23/2006 1:33:41 PM EDT
[#28]

Quoted:



Or, alternatively, I actually KNOW what HR really does in large multi-billion-dollar corporations.

How do you think large corporations decide what incentive systems, bonus packages, and compensation schemes to use in order to motivate and attract/retain employees?  
How do you think large corporations decide what training and development is necessary for which job positions, and how to manage it?
How do you think large corporations decide who to hire, and how to separate the incompetent moron applicants from the competent ones?
How do you think large corporations decide how to structure contracts, non-compete agreements, etc?
How do you think large corporations monitor and manage issues of employee satisfation, justice, equity, etc,  in large geographically dispersed organizations?
How do you think large corporations figure out how to fire employees without exposing themselves to huge lawsuits all the time?

Do you think these things happen magically?  Or generalist managers just make it up?  Designing incentives systems and compensation packages, or selection systems, etc - are specialized skills.  There's a reason that top HR people have specialized Master's degrees in ILR or HR from schools like Cornell, Illinois or Ohio State that specifically teach this stuff.  (Along with the MBA and a couple others, it's one of the few functional and useful master's degrees out there)

If you don't understand how any of those things (and a whole host of other HR functions) contribute to the bottom line ofr Fortune 500 companies, then the problem is your ignorance, and not anything to do with what I do for a living.


And, no, my job has actually NOTHING to do with HR. The difference is that I know people who teach HR in top MBA programs in the country, and I know some top executives at Fortune 500 companies, and have talked to them about these things - so I actually have an understand of what HR actually is, and why it is important.


Actually I have an HR minor in my degree (1991)
and well
they try to put stuff around it, but like women's studies, it's a made up science
if it wasn't for HR people wanting new HR laws, we wouldn't need any HR people
funny how that works.
Link Posted: 8/23/2006 1:39:06 PM EDT
[#29]
HR folks are lower than lawyers.
Link Posted: 8/23/2006 1:40:24 PM EDT
[#30]

Quoted:

Actually I have an HR minor in my degree (1991)
and well
they try to put stuff around it, but like women's studies, it's a made up science
if it wasn't for HR people wanting new HR laws, we wouldn't need any HR people
funny how that works.



Whatever makes you feel better about your grotesque ignorance, I guess.  

I'm actually perversely curious what those "HR" classes were, because you clearly have NO IDEA whatsoever of what you are talking about when it comes to most of the actual functions of HR in a large company.  



Link Posted: 8/23/2006 1:42:19 PM EDT
[#31]
By the way, don't get me wrong - the kind of HR people that you often end up in CONTACT with in companies, can often be real assholes.

There's nothing wrong with hating HR people , I can dig that!

I'm purely trying to correct the misperception surrounding the large function of HR in big corporations.
Link Posted: 8/23/2006 1:43:33 PM EDT
[#32]
I just posted this in another thread a couple days ago.  At least in my experience, HR has been staffed with a bunch of idiots who can't hack it doing the real work.  

They may have a useful function, but every HR shop I've seen seems to have hired from the bottom of the barrell.  
Link Posted: 8/23/2006 5:33:43 PM EDT
[#33]

Quoted:
I just posted this in another thread a couple days ago.  At least in my experience, HR has been staffed with a bunch of idiots who can't hack it doing the real work.  

They may have a useful function, but every HR shop I've seen seems to have hired from the bottom of the barrell.  


exactamundo

and please, if HR was real
Ohhhh, they have to come up with a compensation package
yeah, that's hard, every other company with less than 100 people manage to do that without an HR person
hey, how much do you want?
no, that's too much, how about X and so forth
and then, deciding on a health plan
Hey, Mr CEO, how much money we got for health plan?  ok, call up blue cross and some HMO and United Health adn go "we got this much money and this many employees, what do you have?"

yep, obviously need a professional for those jobs.
Let me tell you about HR weinies
I'm sitting in one job with all the new hires (and it's august) and she tells us all about this new vision plan and says "well, the plan says you can only get one new pair of glasses each 18 months."
Hmmm, and there is open enrollment each fall right?
yes, she says
Great, i say outloud, then why would anyone sign up for it two years in a row?
She was utterly flabbergasted, she had never thought of it.  stupid HR weinie probably made more than me.  The whole group of us signed up in august, all got new glasses, and dropped it in open enrollment in November.  

Do you know about those cafeteria plans, where you put aside pre-tax money to pay for medical bills?  and you have to use up all the money before the end of the year or you lose it?
Did you know the reverse is also true?  They will never tell you this, but you can read the law yourself.
If you sign up to have $1000 withheld each month, you can have a $12,000 operation on Jan 2nd, and then quit on Jan 3rd
and there's not a damn thing they can do about it

Yeah, that takes a damn pro to read a book
HR is a bullshit made up science to keep people employed who would otherwise have no jobs, because they add absolutely zero to any productive company.  Look how many HR weinies are in government?  case closed.

HR did do layoffs today.  WTF do they need to be there for?  You send out packages to the manager and the manager calls int eh person says, "here's your money, give me your keys, have a good life"
yeah, that's a professional job.

HR didn't exist until the 1970's, why is that?
Link Posted: 8/23/2006 5:38:37 PM EDT
[#34]
DON'T EVEN get me started on what I think of HR people.

The ONE HR person I ever put any trust in......

Time for me to go get a beer.
Link Posted: 8/23/2006 5:39:47 PM EDT
[#35]

Quoted:
HR is an extremely important function for large modern corporations (especially multinations), and only a very small proportion has to do with compliance with government regulations.

Things like designing selection systems and compensation systems, creating the appropriate incentives, and aligning HR strategy with overall organizational goals is difficult, and can add considerable value and competitive edge to a company.


Uh, huh.

Right.
Link Posted: 8/23/2006 5:47:57 PM EDT
[#36]

Quoted:


HR is an extremely important function for large modern corporations



 The restroom also provides an important fucntion for modern corporations.

  And like HR it is usually full of shit!



Link Posted: 8/23/2006 5:49:17 PM EDT
[#37]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I just posted this in another thread a couple days ago.  At least in my experience, HR has been staffed with a bunch of idiots who can't hack it doing the real work.  

They may have a useful function, but every HR shop I've seen seems to have hired from the bottom of the barrell.  


exactamundo

and please, if HR was real
Ohhhh, they have to come up with a compensation package
yeah, that's hard, every other company with less than 100 people manage to do that without an HR person
hey, how much do you want?
no, that's too much, how about X and so forth
and then, deciding on a health plan
Hey, Mr CEO, how much money we got for health plan?  ok, call up blue cross and some HMO and United Health adn go "we got this much money and this many employees, what do you have?"

yep, obviously need a professional for those jobs.
Let me tell you about HR weinies
I'm sitting in one job with all the new hires (and it's august) and she tells us all about this new vision plan and says "well, the plan says you can only get one new pair of glasses each 18 months."
Hmmm, and there is open enrollment each fall right?
yes, she says
Great, i say outloud, then why would anyone sign up for it two years in a row?
She was utterly flabbergasted, she had never thought of it.  stupid HR weinie probably made more than me.  The whole group of us signed up in august, all got new glasses, and dropped it in open enrollment in November.  

Do you know about those cafeteria plans, where you put aside pre-tax money to pay for medical bills?  and you have to use up all the money before the end of the year or you lose it?
Did you know the reverse is also true?  They will never tell you this, but you can read the law yourself.
If you sign up to have $1000 withheld each month, you can have a $12,000 operation on Jan 2nd, and then quit on Jan 3rd
and there's not a damn thing they can do about it

Yeah, that takes a damn pro to read a book
HR is a bullshit made up science to keep people employed who would otherwise have no jobs, because they add absolutely zero to any productive company.  Look how many HR weinies are in government?  case closed.

HR did do layoffs today.  WTF do they need to be there for?  You send out packages to the manager and the manager calls int eh person says, "here's your money, give me your keys, have a good life"
yeah, that's a professional job.


 Keep posting.  It is hilarious and priceless.  Every time you do, you demonstrate your ignorance even more.

You have ZERO idea of how a modern coporation is run, and only see your little corner of it, and think you understand the bigger picture.


But I'm sure you are MUCH smarter at managing a big company than all the CEO's of Fortune 500 companies, right?  




HR didn't exist until the 1970's, why is that?


Because it was called Personnel, you gibbering nincompoop.  

That fact that you would even ask something so retarded (and THINK you were making a point) is the final evidence of your complete lack of knowledge of this.

I'm done wasting my time - it's like discussing infantry platoon tactics with a 10 year-old who plays counterstrike in his mom's basement.


Enjoy your willful ignorance.  I'm sure you'll be a powerful captain of industry someday.  
Link Posted: 8/23/2006 7:13:46 PM EDT
[#38]
HR people are Oxygen Thieves!!!
Link Posted: 8/23/2006 7:21:24 PM EDT
[#39]

HR people are Oxygen Thieves!!!


You really shouldn't insult thieves like that.
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