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Posted: 2/22/2006 1:56:41 PM EDT
[#1]
My wedding was five people.. me, my wife, my parents, and a judge. I didn't need any material or 'showy' bullshit, and I wouldn't put up with a woman who insisted on it.
It's amazing that people put up with all this, ignore the warning signs, and wonder why the divorce rate is 60% |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 2:00:40 PM EDT
[#2]
As evidenced by the broken homes, abandoned children, and abused wives, people are putting FAR too much into the stupid ceremony and not enough into the actual relationship. I'm not married or engaged, but if/when that ever happens, I hope to skip the BS and have a small ceremony without all the crap.
The problem is that little girls are brought up from childhood to believe that their day has to be this extravagant, perfect ceremony, and plan all that stupid stuff. Guess what, in 30 years you'll be laughing about how the best man left the ring on the bathroom sink and not talking about how perfect the song list was. |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 2:02:56 PM EDT
[#3]
Reminds me of a former roommate who sold his unfired Bushmaster AR15 I helped build for him (at his profit) to sponsor an engagement ring. He doesn't even have male friends now because his fiance doesnt approve of them. He has alienated everyone outside of his "circle of trust" which is now only 2-3 married couples. Great guy with no life now - who sold his soul for pie he met not even be getting.
Another guy at work is excited "In a few more months I get the rings paid off!!". Idiots. Why do people have to impress a girl with things they can't realistically afford? |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 2:04:02 PM EDT
[#4]
Short answer: Women are crazy, but they've got all the vaginas. 
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Posted: 2/22/2006 2:04:38 PM EDT
[#5]
Oh come on Smiddy! Every kiss begins with Kay!
Some people want the marriage, some people want the wedding. Some people can't tell the difference. |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 2:05:34 PM EDT
[#6]
Fixed it for you. |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 2:06:35 PM EDT
[#7]
Evolution all comes down to a small cleft of skin that contains all of the control
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Posted: 2/22/2006 2:09:45 PM EDT
[#8]
Pretty sad really - unfortunately the world contains some people who are shallow. Finding a woman with good values who knows what REALLY matters in life is a true gem - worth more then any monetary symbol. Yeah, yeah - some of us guys can be assholes - but a bad woman will scorn you forever.
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Posted: 2/22/2006 2:09:46 PM EDT
[#9]
Why do they do it?
Because it is likely their first marriage and they don't know any better. Women think this is THEIR day that they have pined for their entire lives. If they get this just right, their marriage will be perfect and they will live happily ever after with no troubles at all in their marriage. Men think that if they just shut up and go along with it, it will please their life and it will help them in the future considerations. Shortly thereafter, reality sets in. |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 2:12:27 PM EDT
[#10]
it's simple... girls grow up being fed loads of bullshit about being a little princess. they watch the disney movies, read the stories, and come to expect the same for themselves. nothing is good enough for them.
this is why a lot of younger girls in their late teens are total bitches. once they enter the real world, these fantasies begin to fade away - but a lot of women refuse to let go of them. when it comes time for their wedding, they want an exact replica of what they grew up dreaming about. |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 2:18:02 PM EDT
[#11]
I am sure it's the "Princess" fantasy that drives this frenzy.
Every little girl's MOTHER schools her spawn that this is the one day in her life that will be "Perfect". My niece is getting her wish this coming year. She and the Groom will have three kids together by then, don't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. The father of the bride said he'd rather they spent the thousands of dollars for the wedding as a down payment on a house, but NOOOOOO, she's got to have a coupla hundred of her "Closest" friends and family at this extravaganza. If he doesn't pay for it, he'll probably end up in divorce court for ruining his little girl's life. Tell me why a girl will spend a thousand bucks plus, on a dress she'll only wear once, but a guy will rent a $300 tux he could wear maybe once a year for ten years if he just bought it? |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 2:21:19 PM EDT
[#12]
This is one area where having 3 sisters has granted me a little insight.
All girls are programmed with the desire to be princesses. Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Barbie...it starts from birth and just snowballs. As they grow older they start to realize that they will never get to be princesses. Instead of a castle they get a 3 bedroom house in the 'burbs. Instead of a coach they get a minivan. They are going to have to work, they are going to have to clean, they are going to have to have children, gain weight and wind up just like their mothers...except on their wedding day. The day that they get married is the day that all of their fantasies about being a princess and having prince charming sweep them off their feet gets to come true. And there really is no substitute for it. They have to have their high dollar nutso wedding or else their lives will be miserible and whoever stood in the way of it will be responsible for depriving them of their one chance to be a princess. Even if they say that they don't mind...they really do. It's all bullshit. A woman HAS to have a fancy wedding (at least the first time she is married) or she will secretly hate whoever talked her out of it forever. Simple as that. |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 2:23:50 PM EDT
[#13]
Good point. Reverts back to the whole role of values instilled by parents. If a mom is a materialistic wanna-be diva with unrealistic goals or views on life - she'll serve as a bad form of mentorship. Her daughter should be looking for a marriage based on strong values and real love - not a Hollywood perversion of what real romance or love is. You don't have to spend 30 bucks on a wedding ring to test character - but if a woman loves you - it won't be a ring that matters. Nor will it be a dress, song list, cake, excessive amounts of visitors who don't really like you, etc I just aggrevated seeing so many people set themselves up for total failure. Thank you MTV for teaching us what matters in life! [sarcasm] |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 2:28:39 PM EDT
[#14]
I have I mean had a friend like that. His wife controls his entire life. He is not "allowed" to hang out with "his" friends, only hers. He came home one day and saw a new sofa in the living room and asked how much. She said she got a great deal and it was 65% off. Again how much. "It was only $3,500.00." The checks for the mortgage and the car note bounced. She made the list out for people to invite to his father’s funeral. Me and some other people who had known both he and his father for 20 years were not on the approved list. I used to feel sorry for him, now I just think he is a punk with no visitation rights to his own testicles. ARH |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 2:30:38 PM EDT
[#15]
I have a daughter(#2) getting married in June to a Navy Lt. She's getting $2,500.00 to do the whole thing. Same as daughter #1. I figure that's plenty for 2.5 hours of activity. Tha AVERAGE cost of a wedding in the U.S today is $20,000.00! People think I'm some kind of crazy skinflint. I DO NOT CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK!!! Nor do I really care how they waste their $$$ on their 2.5 hours called a wedding ceremony. Most people are stupid. I'm not one of them. Thank you for your time.
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Posted: 2/22/2006 2:30:46 PM EDT
[#16]
What he said. |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 2:32:53 PM EDT
[#17]
HO LEE SHIT! |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 2:34:23 PM EDT
[#18]
My wedding, also, was five people. Myself, My Bride, the Preach, a Ukilali player and his wife. Best day of my life. The only people who mattered on that day was my Bride and Myself. Truly magical. |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 2:34:30 PM EDT
[#19]
Expensive weddings make for poor marriages, in my experience.
If its about love, the woman won't give a shit about the wedding. My wife's and mine was done simply and pretty cheaply. The only thing that sucked was it rained. Make every day special for your wife/fiancee and she won't stress about that one day. |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 2:35:47 PM EDT
[#20]
Sounds like you raised 'em well. Another guy I work with was talking of getting married on our recent deployment. His girlfriend insists that the wedding cost no LESS then $17,000. Minimum. Because her sister spent around $15,000 and there is no way in HELL she will be "abused" and short-changed with a "cheap" wedding. He's falling for it. He's an E4 in the military - so that may not quite be one years pay but its up there. But what can ya do. Pray the girl you're seeing has parents who raised her right I guess.
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Posted: 2/22/2006 3:05:52 PM EDT
[#21]
didn't even take the time to read the first post, but the big problem is the princess/daddy's little girl mentality.
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Posted: 2/22/2006 3:16:22 PM EDT
[#22]
I don't think that expensive weddings make for poor marriages, but expensive weddings don't help marriages either - nor do cheap ones. It has no bearing either way. When my wife and I got married (six years ago) I think we spent around $20,000. It was great event that all of the attendees still remember. We had excellent food and drink, a great jazz band, etc in a great setting. We could afford it, so what's the harm? My sister-in-law, OTOH, has been married three times....the reception for the last one was held at the newlyweds' double wide, complete with box wine and hard boiled eggs. That one lasted 3 mos. |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 3:24:47 PM EDT
[#23]
I have been married and divorced once, been to dozens of weddings. When I get married again it will be some place tropical and I will be wearing a Hawaian shirt, Burmuda shorts and have a boat drink in my hand. I hope to god that everyone who is getting married has already done so I don't think I can take another one.
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Posted: 2/22/2006 4:00:55 PM EDT
[#24]
I just hope I end up with a girl like my best friend did. she was like fuck that and they ended up simply going before the justice of the peace. there using the money to put a nice down payment on there new house.
World needs more women like her. |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 4:12:48 PM EDT
[#25]
How expensive the wedding is has no bearing on the success of the marriage.
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Posted: 2/22/2006 4:15:25 PM EDT
[#26]
I'm getting married in 3 weeks.... here's the guest list
0 Family ~8 friends 1 Judge total cost? >$200 including license fees and everything (except rings) |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 4:18:41 PM EDT
[#27]
Because it is a special time that everyone goes into thinking it's only going ot happen once in their lives.
Different strokes, different folks. But the guy you know needs to hand in his man card cause the shit he's saying is just out of control. |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 4:21:51 PM EDT
[#28]
For some, its all about the wedding. For others, it's about the marriage. Guess which group will be married in 10 years?
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Posted: 2/22/2006 4:23:15 PM EDT
[#29]
sig line material right there |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 4:23:30 PM EDT
[#30]
Special and Important, yes. Ceremonial in nature - very much so. Weddings have been bastardized into a big moneymaker today for certain industries - cheapening the true meaning of it. Money can't buy what isn't there. And if the relationship is based on shallow shit - it'll collapse. One guy at works says......"Heh - well if I have to pay $17,000 for the wedding she demands - I had better get a 52" plasma screen TV out of heh" - somehow I don't feel bad for him........Two selfish people meant for each other's pathetic existence. Fuck em. |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 4:23:36 PM EDT
[#31]
Some girls want to get married.
Some girls want to have a wedding. Be careful of the latter. |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 5:20:08 PM EDT
[#32]
I want a marriage, I really don't care too much about a wedding. I've seen how crazy my friends are all getting over theirs and it's so unbelievably retarded, I can't even fathom why it's so important to them. I guess they want bragging rights at their next trophy wives' cocktail party.
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Posted: 2/22/2006 5:31:36 PM EDT
[#33]
But if you don't spend what your new wife wanted, to the penny, it will 
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Posted: 2/22/2006 5:33:50 PM EDT
[#34]
I am getting married in 2 months and total spent for the wedding will be about 5k.
It is a huge waste of money.......but I am not paying for it! |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 5:48:36 PM EDT
[#35]
I had a friend who got roped into the big shebang, with the psycho bride, country club reception, and everything.
She left him a year later. She said that marriage wasn't, and I quote, "The fairy tale I thought it would be" 
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Posted: 2/22/2006 6:11:35 PM EDT
[#36]
His balls are already in her purse... What a way to start a marriage  |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 6:41:17 PM EDT
[#37]
Marriage in our society, for the most part, has been turned into what is mostly a joke now. People go into it with unrealistic expectations. Think it's going to be like living a dream, and quit when it isn't.
People aren't raised much today to WORK for things, and to realize that having a good life takes WORK. When I get married, IF I ever get married, I'm going to make sure she KNOWS what I think about it. It will be WORK. It won't always be sunshine and roses, we'll fight, we'll have our differences, we'll have rough times, and if she can't handle that, then I won't marry her in the first place. But when I find that woman that thinks and feels the same way I do, a wedding only has to be: Me, her, and a few simple promises. |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 6:47:46 PM EDT
[#38]
Consider this:
The same folks that have big weddings today, will have big cars tomorrow, big motorcycles next summer, bigger houses, bigger credit card bills, and ultimately, bigger DIVORCES!!! Don't get exercised over it... Kick back, have a cold one, and enjoy another man's pointless suffering while the truly lucky ones can enjoy quality time with a lady, not just a trophy wife. 
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Posted: 2/22/2006 6:54:52 PM EDT
[#39]
Even people who spend 25 cents on a wedding will end up getting divorced
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Posted: 2/22/2006 7:00:29 PM EDT
[#40]
I can post pics of my wife on our wedding Night if it helps?
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Posted: 2/22/2006 7:04:04 PM EDT
[#41]
It is completely out of hand now...
The friggin ceremony is more important than the marriage. A couple blows tens of thousands (Of Daddy's Gold) on a lavish ceremony and then their divorced in a year or two! How stupid is that?  That damn "Father of the Bride" screwed all of us... 
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Posted: 2/22/2006 7:07:21 PM EDT
[#42]
Marriages=Man-made prisons
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Posted: 2/22/2006 7:07:40 PM EDT
[#43]
That never came out in a "spanish language" format, did it??? 
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Posted: 2/22/2006 7:15:34 PM EDT
[#44]
Because most females are conditioned from birth to find their prince charming, have a magnificent wedding, and ride off into everlasting bliss in the distant sunset just like the fairy tales they read and had read to them growing up.
The reality is quite different. Ever watch the show Bridezillas? I've been to big weddings that cost at least $100K and all I can do is shake my head. What a waste of resources and all it does is stress everybody out. Chances are within 10 years they'll be divorced anyway so it's an even bigger waste of resources, but I guess somebody has to support the wedding industry. |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 7:22:05 PM EDT
[#45]
There is definitely a line that is called "Excess". Like going and having your tux and dress handmade, and having a $10k cake and a 5k person guest list is ridiculous. My girlfriend and I plan to get married down the road and have agreed on a nice wedding, but nothing ridiculous. She wants and outdoor reception with big white tents and a wooden dance floor. Other than that she isn't too picky. I figure, hell when we get tired of dancing, I can break out the toys that go bang and have a real weddin'! hippie.gif
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Posted: 2/23/2006 4:27:57 AM EDT
[#46]
Our wedding is planned for August. We are planning to build a house so the wedding is going to be low budget all the way.
We spent last weekend at SAMS making a list of items for the wedding. Her parents are great people but I have heard no offer from them to front the costs. I am not asking them to either. If I am paying for the wedding reception as it may happen, it will be on my terms. Luckily my fiance is in perfect agreement. So far we are planning on an outdoor wedding, reception is going to be BBQ party style. Neither of us are big fans of the fancy weddings that we have been to. We love them, and I think they are beautiful. But, it is not our style. Kids will be invited and I am actually planning on having activities set up for them with an onsite babysitter. That way people do not feel like they have to run off after the wedding is over to pick up the kids. As for me, I went to the doctor on Friday and got diagnosed with an enlarged spleen. I have to go for a CT scan next week. The cause... probably an ulcer. I wonder where that came from??? :-) |
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Posted: 2/23/2006 4:29:25 AM EDT
[#47]
Girls have been brainwashed since birth that they need to have their "perfect" wedding
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Posted: 2/23/2006 5:15:04 AM EDT
[#48]
I know two women who got married for the sole purpose of having a wedding. They knew their men were losers before, but the ceremony was so grand!
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Posted: 2/23/2006 5:34:59 AM EDT
[#49]
It's not just the brides. It's also both the bride's and groom's mothers. At my wedding, my wife was a big enough PITA, but then we also had to make everything right for both of our moms.
My wife and I, trying to keep costs down, tried to keep the guest list as small as possible. Them my mom comes along and invites just about EVERY person she'd ever met. |
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Posted: 2/23/2006 5:40:49 AM EDT
[#50]
+1 It's even worse in other parts of the world. I was in India a few months ago and weddings are a HUGE deal. Families will often go into debt (and sometimes bankruptcy) just to pay for a big fancy wedding. Things were getting so bad they had articles in the newspaper about how this was out of control. Hell, it's so big they even have entire malls dedicated solely to wedding items. I was walking around in Hyderabad and I had to take a pic. Keep in mind that this big fancy mall is nestled in an area of the city where most typical people have to burn wood to cook their meals .... 
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