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Posted: 1/1/2002 9:58:18 PM EDT
My wife has a friend who is always whining that she cant find a man. Don't women realize that if they are even moderately attractive, they can go anywhere and have their pick from all the single guys and roughly half the married guys too?
Link Posted: 1/1/2002 10:01:31 PM EDT
Originally Posted By AR15fan: Don't women realize that if they are even moderately attractive, they can go anywhere and have their pick from all the single guys and roughly half the married guys too?
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LMAO! That has to be one of the greatest quotes in history, and if it weren't so long it would be my sig line!
Link Posted: 1/1/2002 10:01:57 PM EDT
They don't like sex. It really is that simple. Just ask my wife. She doesn't like it - it is a constant cause of contention in our house (and I'll probably get skinned for this post alone). Seriously - if I had known then what I know now about her, I probably would have passed her by. But she was/is soooo good lookin' [:)]
Link Posted: 1/1/2002 10:24:44 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 12:31:59 AM EDT
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 12:52:02 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/2/2002 12:52:48 AM EDT by Master_Blaster]
I'd attempt to go one better on Big Bear's post, but I don't think I can. Big Bear, you definitely [smash] [BD]
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 1:56:05 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/2/2002 1:57:00 AM EDT by reddobie]
You guys need to start litening to Tom Leykis Radio show [url]http://www.blowmeuptom.com/[/url] and his Leykis 101, how to get guys laid. [sex]
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 4:20:07 AM EDT
Originally Posted By AR15fan: Don't women realize that if they are even moderately attractive, they can go anywhere and have their pick from all the single guys and roughly half the married guys too?
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Sure.. if you want just [i]any[/i] guy.. strangely enough, we're looking for one that we enjoy being with. And not all women hate sex. I've always had a higher sex drive than the men I've been with. Women will stop being interested in sex, however, if their lover isn't making sure they get theirs. [;)]
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 4:41:33 AM EDT
Great joke, Big_Bear! [:D]
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 4:53:59 AM EDT
I think it's a combination of the situation typified by Big Bear's joke and the fact that men and women communicate in two different languages. Men say things, and try to communicate information with the words that come out of their mouths. That's it. The dictionary meaning of the words spoken, plus a little basic seventh grade sentence diagramming, will translate the noises coming out of a man's mouth into the meaning he is trying to impart. Women, on the other hand, view words as mere vehicles for some deeper meaning. They spend a great deal of time trying to pry into a man's head and heart to divine what he really means by the noises that come out of his mouth. "I'd like some more macaroni and cheese," must be some sort of value judgement on the person who prepared the mac and cheese or a judgement on the mac and cheese preparation skills of the woman hearing those noises. What women fail to recognize is that men only communicate on the direct, concrete, literal level. There [b]is no deeper meaning[/b] behind the words we say. It's like a cryptographer trying to decipher the meaning of a bowl of Alpha-Bits. Hey, it's just breakfast cereal, and it's getting soggy so get outta my way.
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 4:57:45 AM EDT
Originally Posted By jhasz: They don't like sex.
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You are [b]kidding[/b] us, right? Man, you have had some bad experiences if that's the conclusion you've arrived at. Makes me feel really thankful, actually.
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 5:12:10 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Miss_Magnum: Women will stop being interested in sex, however, if their lover isn't making sure they get theirs. [;)]
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Or they get a wedding ring on their finger. Either way, daddy ain't getting none.
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 5:19:13 AM EDT
I remember seeing a picture of some super model with the caption "No matter how hot she is, someone somewhere is tired of putting up with her shit"! And most men and women have the same problem, we choose poorly. But then if more women were like Miss_Magnum, at least I would be happier. Ron
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 7:26:38 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Miss_Magnum:
Originally Posted By AR15fan: Don't women realize that if they are even moderately attractive, they can go anywhere and have their pick from all the single guys and roughly half the married guys too?
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Sure.. if you want just [i]any[/i] guy.. strangely enough, we're looking for one that we enjoy being with. And not all women hate sex. I've always had a higher sex drive than the men I've been with. Women will stop being interested in sex, however, if their lover isn't making sure they get theirs. [;)]
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I think women have a genetic code which directs them to mate with the man most capable of providing a secure life for them and their future offspring. I've been in sales of one kind or another for 20+ yrs., and as soon as 90% of the women I've dealt with see my ring and the fact that I'm not hitting on them, start to hit on me. They love a challenge and are surprised for the most part when some guy treats them just like another person instead of another p***y.
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 7:30:21 AM EDT
Originally Posted By jhasz: They don't like sex. It really is that simple. Just ask my wife. She doesn't like it - it is a constant cause of contention in our house (and I'll probably get skinned for this post alone). Seriously - if I had known then what I know now about her, I probably would have passed her by. But she was/is soooo good lookin' [:)]
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That's why you, um, check under the hood before you buy the car, right?
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 7:31:42 AM EDT
Jarhead_22 got it right. And that's all I'm sayin'. [:D]
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 8:01:42 AM EDT
i can't say about wemen... but this guy is single because.. 1) i have never met a girl who is singlew and interested in the same things as me. 2) when i am not working, sleeping, or running around trying to pay bills, i am here, so i have no time / money for them.. 3) i dont drink, so i have no life (personally or otherwise). no way to find em. 4) the "one" for me will have to be,,,,,,,well,,,,,, like me. unattached with no emotional baggage, no kids (absolutely no risk of that here[;)]), and big time into guns, and survivalism. so there you have it, i am single and if there is a woman out there like tis for me, ill go almost anywhare.. (kalifornia, and other states exempted)
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 9:18:33 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/2/2002 9:22:30 AM EDT by ET3_SurfaceWar]
Originally Posted By FreeAmerican: ... "No matter how hot she is, someone somewhere is tired of putting up with her shit"! ...
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Aint that the truth! I just broke up with my GF a couple days before X-Mas. Man, was she gett'n on my LAST DAMN NERVE!! Beautiful woman, I'd say one, if not THE best looking woman I've ever been with. But I cannot stand her arse, and I don't see how anyone else could either after getting to know her. Everything is fine with her (at first). Until she gets comfortable with you, and the real her comes out. Stand-by when that happens... [Edited because of dyslexia]
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 9:27:45 AM EDT
Originally Posted By the_survivalist: ...and big time into guns, and survivalism.
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Isn't procreation the ultimate "survival"?
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 9:28:13 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Bearlaker: I think women have a genetic code which directs them to mate with the man most capable of providing a secure life for them and their future offspring.
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With exceptions, I believe this is a mostly correct statement. So far as the growth of the human race, yes we're now living (mostly) outside the cave but I believe we still stand in the cave's shadow. The need for a capable/protective mate has not disappeared. [smoke]
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 9:29:56 AM EDT
Originally Posted By soylentgreen:
Originally Posted By the_survivalist: ...and big time into guns, and survivalism.
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Isn't procreation the ultimate "survival"?
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Obviously to the human race as a whole the answer must be yes. However, individually we still have a choice. [smoke]
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 9:30:47 AM EDT
From what I've seen, women suffer from biology. They chase after "dominant/alpha male" guys regardless of whether or not those men would actually make them happy, and they tend (imho, both because of biology and social conditioning) to tend away from solving their problems themselves, hoping others will do so for them.
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 9:31:37 AM EDT
I don't know where you guys are finding these girls that don't like sex, that goes against almost every girl I have dated. Not that I am any good at it. Tell her to quit trying to force her opinion and rules down every guys throat, and be pleasant for a change. Its about being able to be nice and talk about things other than ME. Let her know that her attitude is scaring guys off because she is too whinny.
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 9:32:25 AM EDT
Originally Posted By ET3_SurfaceWar:
Originally Posted By FreeAmerican: ... "No matter how hot she is, someone somewhere is tired of putting up with her shit"! ...
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LAST DAMN NERVE!!
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ET3, any womens on your ship ???? [smoke]
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 9:34:52 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Ice: I don't know where you guys are finding these girls that don't like sex, that goes against almost every girl I have dated.
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I would feel a whole lot better if this response wasn't from a guy named "ICE." [smoke]
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 9:35:40 AM EDT
Yes... there still are some who haven't gotten pregnant and transfered to shore duty (yet). (I hear many still talking about it.)
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 9:35:44 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Miss_Magnum: Women will stop being interested in sex, however, if their lover isn't making sure they get theirs. [;)]
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Stop getting their what? I am a patient man, and I am an understanding person. My wife doesn't work, I pay for someone to come and clean the house, I pull down a fairly large salary, so bills aren't a problem, I don't cheat, steal or lie. I enjoy it most when she does, so how am I failing to ensure that she "gets hers"? (I don't mean to sound belligerent - I'm just very frustrated... in more ways than one) - I mean, I'm not perfect, but I would say that I'm a long shot better/faithful/nice-guy/etc... than most (and, yes, I do love my wife, very much) Jarhead_22 has it right - up to a point - the other side of that story is that they then expect us to be able to decipher what they mean - because they [b]do[/b] tend to talk in standard words, but have further meaning. To them, Macaroni and Cheese, means that [b]and[/b] something else - and that something else doesn't mean the same thing every time, either a3kid - I kid you not... I feel like someone stranded in the desert at times, not knowing where or when my next meal or drink will come from. Well, I really don't want to sound like a whining idiot, but the holidays just seem to bring out the argument on this issue and I guess I needed to vent - thanks.
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 9:40:48 AM EDT
5subslr5, Thanks
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 9:41:56 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Ice: 5subslr5, Thanks
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[:D]
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 9:42:44 AM EDT
Originally Posted By 5subslr5:
Originally Posted By Bearlaker: I think women have a genetic code which directs them to mate with the man most capable of providing a secure life for them and their future offspring.
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With exceptions, I believe this is a mostly correct statement. So far as the growth of the human race, yes we're now living (mostly) outside the cave but I believe we still stand in the cave's shadow. The need for a capable/protective mate has not disappeared. [smoke]
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Yes. I should have typed "most" women.
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 9:47:27 AM EDT
Originally Posted By 5subslr5:
Originally Posted By soylentgreen:
Originally Posted By the_survivalist: ...and big time into guns, and survivalism.
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Isn't procreation the ultimate "survival"?
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Obviously to the human race as a whole the answer must be yes. However, individually we still have a choice. [smoke]
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DITTO..
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 9:48:26 AM EDT
When I was single, I was very successful (read promiscuous) with women. The biggest reason women shy away from men, in my experience, is that SO MANY guys act desperate and needy. "Bill" on "King of the Hill" is an only slightly exagerated example. I, on the other hand, always bore myself with an air of self-confidence and made it clear in a nonverbal way that "I don't need to go home with you, honey, plenty more here equipped just like you." As a result, I never lacked for female company. Most men, on the other hand, tended to regard me as an arrogant a$$hole. I'm exactly the guy they meant when they turned to their buddy on the stool next to them and whined "Why do women always pick the biggest a$$hole in the room to go home with?" Get a clue, gentlemen. Women want a man when they want a man. If they want a whimpering baby, they'll give birth to one.
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 9:52:32 AM EDT
Originally Posted By jhasz: ...... expect us to be able to decipher what they mean - because they [b]do[/b] tend to talk in standard words, but have further meaning. To them, Macaroni and Cheese, means that [b]and[/b] something else - and that something else doesn't mean the same thing every time, either
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Well, you just proven that you're smarter than most of us ! You recognize the existence of a "female" language far more complez than even English. (English example: Since, sense, cents, etc., complex and difficult to learn.) Now you walk into your "crib" and ask your "hide" how's everything going ? The "hide" answers.."Fine." Now the communications problems start. "Fine" may mean .."I'm ready to screw your brains out and then let's order Chineese. "Fine" may mean you're fifteen minutes late scumbag if you want to eat you'd better order Chinese. Finally, admittedly unlikely but still possible, "Fine" might mean fine - but I doubt it ! [smoke]
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 9:57:32 AM EDT
Originally Posted By mattja:
Originally Posted By Miss_Magnum: Women will stop being interested in sex, however, if their lover isn't making sure they get theirs. [;)]
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Or they get a wedding ring on their finger. Either way, daddy ain't getting none.
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AMEN Brother mattja! [BD]
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 9:58:44 AM EDT
Originally Posted By jhasz: I don't cheat, steal or lie. I enjoy it most when she does
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jhasz, I'm going to allow time for your correction here !! (That "Hun" guy would not - much less "Velveeteer!"
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 10:01:57 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/2/2002 10:05:09 AM EDT by ET3_SurfaceWar]
Originally Posted By Golgo-13: Women want a man when they want a man. If they want a whimpering baby, they'll give birth to one.
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Teehee... funny, but very true.
Originally Posted by 5subslr5: Now the communications problems start.
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They started a while back ago, and I'm tired of trying to decipher them and to read facial expressions to see how she feels. Damnit, how in the hell are we supposed to know what kinda mood shes in if she doesn't say sh!t and she looks like she always does, regardless if she's happy or angry. (I need to stop because you've hit a nerve.) [Edited because I wrote like I was writing to her.]
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 10:03:28 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/2/2002 10:03:43 AM EDT by MC_Man]
Jarhead, you are exactly right. Problem is, your answer was incomplete. Don't forget that when you say something, there is also HOW you say it... your tone, the expression on your face, if you use your hands when you talk. They see all of that plus hear what you are saying and will come up with the most absurd conclusion (to men, anyway).
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 10:07:30 AM EDT
The big thing is that women expect us to be in tune with their feelings and maybe its just me, from reading some of your comments, its not, but I have trouble telling what mood I am in, let alone how she is feeling. Just like what 5subslr5 said.
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 10:09:56 AM EDT
Originally Posted By 5subslr5:
Originally Posted By jhasz: I don't cheat, steal or lie. I enjoy it most when she does
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jhasz, I'm going to allow time for your correction here !! (That "Hun" guy would not - much less "Velveeteer!"
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Hmmm, I see nothing that needs correction here. I don't cheat. I don't steal. And I don't lie. That doesn't mean I haven't been tempted to - or that I don't struggle with it, I do, but I learned quite a while back, in the long run, it doesn't pay. And yes, I enjoy it most, when she enjoys it
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 10:12:28 AM EDT
Originally Posted By MC_Man: there is also HOW you say it...
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OMG, You done did it!! I told my GF once before we were going out to ", put on a belt." because she was still getting ready, and seemed to me that maybe she forgot. And she says, "Your not my Daddy, you don't have to tell me how to dress. I know how to dress myself." I'm like, "Damn, where in the world did all that come from? Asking you to put on a belt wasn't an innocent request?" She says, "It's not what you said, it's how you said it." Just plain B/S to me. Little B/S like that is why we broke up.
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 10:12:49 AM EDT
Originally Posted By garandman: Jarhead_22 got it right. [:D]
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Damn! Jarhead speaks the truth!
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 10:16:38 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/2/2002 10:18:28 AM EDT by 5subslr5]
Originally Posted By jhasz:
Originally Posted By 5subslr5:
Originally Posted By jhasz: I don't cheat, steal or lie. I enjoy it most when she does
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jhasz, I'm going to allow time for your correction here !! (That "Hun" guy would not - much less "Velveeteer!"
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Hmmm, I see nothing that needs correction here. I don't cheat. I don't steal. And I don't lie. That doesn't mean I haven't been tempted to - or that I don't struggle with it, I do, but I learned quite a while back, in the long run, it doesn't pay. And yes, I enjoy it most, when she enjoys it
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To some illeterate jerk-offs such as myself your phrase might be read...."I don't, cheat, steal, or lie. I enjoy "IT" most when she does (cheat, steal and lie !) [:D] (Miss Ward (English teacher) might call "IT" an unclear antecedent.)
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 10:21:18 AM EDT
I like women. Maybe thats why i put up with thier sh*t. :D
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 10:25:03 AM EDT
Originally Posted By ET3_SurfaceWar: Yes... there still are some who haven't gotten pregnant and transfered to shore duty (yet). (I hear many still talking about it.)
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Now tell me SurfWar, is your Captain rated on how many females (as a percentage) remain unpregnant or......?(I'm new to this womens on ships bidness.) Have any of the "ladies" gone into bidness for themselves ?? If there are any female officers are they porking only other officers or........?? I probably missed this earlier but what type ship are you on ?? [smoke]
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 10:33:11 AM EDT
I serve on a large deck amphib. I'm not sure if the Captain has to keep a certain percentage of females onboard or not, but I wouldn't be surprised if he did. As far as women going into "business" for themselves, hell if I know. I know some of them are strippers on the side, but I've heard of nothing worse than that. Female officers are banging other officers (for the most part). There is only one that I can think of that is with the enlisted. I'll provide no further information than what I have already. I'll just let your imagination run from there. [:X*]
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 10:51:49 AM EDT
Originally Posted By ET3_SurfaceWar: I serve on a large deck amphib. I'm not sure if the Captain has to keep a certain percentage of females onboard or not, but I wouldn't be surprised if he did. (I've got to believe there's data kept somewhere on how many women get pregnant.) As far as women going into "business" for themselves, hell if I know. I know some of them are strippers on the side, but I've heard of nothing worse than that. (Weel being strippers isn't all bad - if they're attractive.) Female officers are banging other officers (for the most part). There is only one that I can think of that is with the enlisted. (At least there's one without discrimination.) I'll provide no further information than what I have already. I'll just let your imagination run from there. [:X*]
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Nothing hedonostic - just a few more run-of-the-mill questions. No tongue-in-jowl - I'm just truly interested. Is yours a good, proficient ship - "E" material, very good....? Is the crew happy ? (Obviously I mean as happy as any crew gets.) As a group officers and enlisted are the females good, proficient sailors ?? Assuming that some females have reached the state of impregnation on the ship and to a person other than spouse is there any effort to I.D. the father ?? Not looking for tit-a-lation - just interested. [smoke]
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 11:01:50 AM EDT
Gentlemen, (and I use that term in the loosest possible way [:P]) thank you for validating my conclusions and for completing my extemporaneous thesis. It is absolutely true that: 1. Women expect us hang-danglers, who only speak the English language (for the most part), to understand them when they speak in that Men are from Mars/Women are from Venus bullsheet language they speak where "I'd like some macaroni and cheese" can mean either, "Why haven't you met my simple need for sustenance, you uncaring prick?" or possibly "Do I look fat in these jeans?" or even "Where are the truffles, caviar and champagne you promised me in the unspoken female code language the day we met?" 2. The way you say something and the circumstances surrounding the statement aren't the icing on the cake, they're the cake itself when women are listening in that language that only they speak. Asking "Are you done in the bathroom?" takes on whole different shades of meaning depending on where you're standing, what look you have on your face or whether or not you're wearing that sweater that really makes the blue in your eyes stand out. Accept it and move on with life or get yourself a [url]www.realdoll.com[/url].
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 11:07:20 AM EDT
Keep lick'n that MEG'R and it will shock you... Ok, I'll add one last thing. We are Battle "E" proficient, and we get the mission accomplished even though we are undermanned. It just means alot less duty sections than we would like, and more watches per person. Each person has to be that much more qualified because of it. And because of all those things, crew morale is low. But I believe that crew morale is low onboard any naval vessel except those floating cities that cannot ever seem to be undermanned. Little to no effort is made to identify the father of the "Sea-babies". Well, not that I can tell.
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 11:17:32 AM EDT
You guys just don't know where to LOOK. Try an Oriental or Latino, you can have your pick of literally thousands of them, with an ad that costs you $50 or so. If they get snotty after they get US citizenship, there are more where she came from. She will KNOW that, too. Just be careful about how much ANY woman knows about your business, and don't necessarily buy a house, new car, etc with her around, or even have a joint checking account. I have always maintained several "caches" of valuables that NO ONE but me knows about.
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 11:26:09 AM EDT
They don't like sex.
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That's not true. I've known some women who were much hornier than me.
Link Posted: 1/2/2002 11:28:40 AM EDT
But if you marry a Latina be sure to sleep on your stomach! I've been divorced for years and live with a cat. The cat is good company but you still need a woman to take care of your primal urges.
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