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Posted: 10/7/2007 11:43:06 AM EDT
Am I the only one with a wife that can't drive worth a shit most of the time?

I find it impossible to sit quietly under the constant bombardment of a lacking skillset.

I always end up driving home.

Link Posted: 10/7/2007 11:44:10 AM EDT
The man is supposed to drive anyway!
Link Posted: 10/7/2007 11:44:44 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Alien:
The man is supposed to drive anyway!


+1
Link Posted: 10/7/2007 11:46:38 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Alien:
The man is supposed to drive anyway!


Hell-I even freak out when she's driving me home from the ER when my back gets squirrely, and then I'm usually on valium and dilaudid....

That's the fastest way to piss my wife off-scream in fear of dying....
Link Posted: 10/7/2007 11:46:47 AM EDT
the only time the wife drives is when I'm so drunk that I dont care how poorly she drives
Link Posted: 10/7/2007 11:53:33 AM EDT

Originally Posted By anjan9:
the only time the wife drives is when I'm so drunk that I dont care how poorly she drives
Link Posted: 10/7/2007 11:53:54 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Alien:
The man is supposed to drive anyway!



+.9bar

Link Posted: 10/7/2007 11:54:28 AM EDT
I need to start with a belt, and NOT the seat kind
Link Posted: 10/7/2007 11:55:29 AM EDT
My husband drives at work all the time. I can count the number of times he has driven off-duty since we married on one hand.

I don't like it when he drives though because he drives like a cop and it scares ME to death!
Link Posted: 10/7/2007 11:56:37 AM EDT
I will not let mine drive. I had a horse bust my nose recently and was bleeding everywhere and I still wanted to drive, rather than let her.

The things that bug me the most are that she starts braking 30' before the white line and doesn't come to rest until she has past it.
Link Posted: 10/7/2007 11:57:07 AM EDT

Originally Posted By bdgenz:
I need to start with a belt, and NOT the seat kind


What does a chastity belt have to do with driving?
Link Posted: 10/7/2007 12:00:21 PM EDT
My g/f says she drives fine, and my only problem is I feel like I always have to be in control. That's bullshit. I just find that it's less stressful for me to drive than to be having constant mini-coronaries every time she drifts towards the lane barrier, shoulder, etc. Then there's the constant looky-loo - rubber-necking and commenting on things out the side windows. Jesus farking Christ, just pay attention to the damned road!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When we take long road trips, that is the only time I've ever let her drive, so that I could sleep a bit and then drive again. But I can't even sleep because I am always feeling car make little jerks as she corrects when she realizes she's drifted too much to the edge of the lane, so it's useless. Now I just pull over and nap...
Link Posted: 10/7/2007 12:00:34 PM EDT
The gf drives terribly, I'm constantly shaking my head and turning away... Sometimes taking in a deep breath, the kind that you think will shield your testicles from danger. She sees this, and she hates to drive with me in the car.

This is why I'm a hermit.

Link Posted: 10/7/2007 12:01:26 PM EDT
It might be best to have the passenger seat facing backwards, supposed to be safer in the course of a head-on impact as well.

Link Posted: 10/7/2007 12:02:55 PM EDT

Originally Posted By BadgeBunny:
My husband drives at work all the time. I can count the number of times he has driven off-duty since we married on one hand.

I don't like it when he drives though because he drives like a cop and it scares ME to death!


What could you possible mean?

Every law enforcement professional on THIS board drives like the consummate professional off duty, and would only drive in a scary manner on duty because they are hurrying to a call that does not quite warrant lights and siren.

Link Posted: 10/7/2007 12:04:27 PM EDT
Bunch of control freaks on here, sit back and relax or close your eyes............geeze.
Link Posted: 10/7/2007 12:07:07 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/7/2007 12:22:14 PM EDT by Tacberry]
What fun is it if she's on top with the ball gag and zipper mask? I'd rather drive when she's in that attire.


Never mind. I just re-read the thread.
Link Posted: 10/7/2007 12:11:46 PM EDT
My wife drives safe, she is just super-herky-jerky......she can make me car sick is 33 seconds, I NEVER let her drive for that reason.
Link Posted: 10/7/2007 12:18:00 PM EDT
My wife will get so close to the driver in front of us I can read the small print on their tag. Drives me totally nuts. I am just waiting until we are in someones back seat after a wreck.
Link Posted: 10/7/2007 12:22:19 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Bohr_Adam:

Originally Posted By BadgeBunny:
My husband drives at work all the time. I can count the number of times he has driven off-duty since we married on one hand.

I don't like it when he drives though because he drives like a cop and it scares ME to death!


What could you possible mean?

Every law enforcement professional on THIS board drives like the consummate professional off duty, and would only drive in a scary manner on duty because they are hurrying to a call that does not quite warrant lights and siren.



I know nothing of "every law enforcement professional on THIS board". I only know of my darling husband, and he drives like he was taught to drive. Which makes me oh, so carsick!! Soooooo, I drive. That and I am an admitted control freak!!
Link Posted: 10/7/2007 12:23:31 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/7/2007 12:23:43 PM EDT by bala_shark]

Originally Posted By Tacberry:
What fun is it if she's on top with the ball gag and zipper mask? I'd rather drive when she's in that attire.


Never mind. I just re-read the thread.


I dunno, it can be fun whens she's driving by feel alone.
Link Posted: 10/7/2007 12:24:28 PM EDT
The only time the wife drives, is when I've been drinking.
Link Posted: 10/7/2007 12:29:40 PM EDT
My wife thinks she's in her little car when she's in the 2500HD with a 20' trailer and a 6000lb tractor on it.
DRIVES ME CRAZY.
It's ok to brake a little early honey, you don't have to do all the braking in the last 10 feet.
It's ok to slowly accelerate up instead of flooring it, it's going to go a little slower with all that weight in back.
that's it, pull over, let me drive.

snow plowing this winter should be fine.
Link Posted: 10/7/2007 12:48:44 PM EDT
Ex-fiance cracked up EVERY car she ever owned: never paid attention to her driving, always talking on the cell phone, looking out the side windows, adjusting her make-up.

Scary gal. Behind the wheel, and otherwise...

Link Posted: 10/7/2007 1:20:46 PM EDT

Originally Posted By BadgeBunny:
My husband drives at work all the time. I can count the number of times he has driven off-duty since we married on one hand.

I don't like it when he drives though because he drives like a cop and it scares ME to death!


Yeah, my Mom hates my driving these days too! Strangely enough, My Wife, Dad, Brother and partners never bitch!
Link Posted: 10/7/2007 1:54:07 PM EDT
why is she driving??

i have to admit, my wife is probably a better driver. remember, rubbins racin. right?
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 2:36:43 PM EDT
When I sold cars I sold a bunch of "loaded" vans to husbands because they wanted the sensor/camera that would help keep their wives from backing into things and fucking up the bumper, and also the front collision sensor so they would not crash into the front of the garage.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 2:43:04 PM EDT
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 2:43:06 PM EDT
I usually go to sleep. I want to die in my sleep.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 2:47:06 PM EDT
The only way my wife drives me around is if I am drunk.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 2:50:21 PM EDT
I got the wife the nice car for a reason, she drives when we are going somewhere together.


One key to good service is knowing when to keep your mouth shut.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 2:58:22 PM EDT
The GF drives me nuts. She tailgates religously. There could be two cars left on the earth, hers and one other, and she'd be about 3 feet behind his bumper.

She drives way too fast in the rain.

The problem is that she leaves very little margin for error. I have asked her, "What would happen if we had a blowout right now?" Her answer - "I think the tires are OK."

The only reason she drives is that I cannot fit in the driver seat of her Corolla.

Link Posted: 10/8/2007 3:09:03 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/10/2007 4:53:13 PM EDT by 101_proof]
I watched a soccer ball roll 50 yards over the course of 20 seconds into the path of our car and my wife still managed to run over it.

Link Posted: 10/8/2007 3:09:28 PM EDT
The ex is a horrible driver. Tailgaiting, excessive speed when entirely unwise, talking OR texting on her cell phone, fucking with the radio/cd player...the list is endless. I'm sure she does all of that shit with my son in the car, too.

However, the one before her was an excellent driver. Payed attention quite well, left the cell phone alone...she could find a radio station or cd and stick with it. She could also cut a faster light than I at the dragstrip AND speedshift, though we were still working on that. Then she moved to Hawaii.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 3:14:20 PM EDT
Women driving manual cars are worse.

Thankfully they don't make minivan manuals in the US.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 3:52:18 PM EDT
Here is how bad my wife is.

Had a 2002 Chevy Venture with the back up warning alarm.

She still backed into a car.

Numerous parking lot "incidents" just happened, no idea how.

Too fast in the winter=ditch time.

Paid $33,000 for it in 2002

Traded it in a few months ago. Got $500.00 for it.

What does that tell you? (Besides that my pimp hand needs work).
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 4:25:31 PM EDT
You guys need to relax. My wife is a great driver. Every chance I get I kick back in the passenger seat and watch the scenery.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 4:35:06 PM EDT
My wife and I have been married for 10 years. In those 10 years, I can think of maybe 10 times she has driven with me in the vehicle.

Link Posted: 10/8/2007 4:37:59 PM EDT
Basically we are just saying what we already know, most women suck at driving, cannot handle the remote and its impossible to watch football with them because of the incessant questions.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 4:38:36 PM EDT
I drive for some of your wives' every day when I avoid squishing the ever lovin' s^&* out of'em with a 40 ton semi. That goes for some guys too. Why can't people merge? not be distracted by talking to a passenger, the cell phone or reading the daily paper, cutting others off in traffic especially big trucks etc? [Highjack rant off]
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 4:44:21 PM EDT
I cannot count how many times I wanted to remove my wife from the auto insurance policy. Once, I refused to get in the car with her on the way home from dinner, because she drove terribly on the way to the restaurant. I took a cab home, gladly
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 5:06:31 PM EDT
In my entire life, I have observed only one female who could drive worth a damn.
She was an ex who had a gearhead older brother who taught her how to drive.
He was an amateur stock car driver and she had taken a few laps at the track in her time.

The rest of them suck.

I would definitely cite 'doing all of the braking in the last ten feet' as a popular option.
Also, the stopping at the foot of the on-ramp trick and the tailgating but not passing ploy.

I would hope that the spatial reasoning deficit is more than made up for by the matching pot holder gene.

Colonel Hurtz
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 5:30:15 PM EDT
wth is she doing out of the kitchen?
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 5:30:28 PM EDT
My wife drives great; she is probably the only person I have ever ridden with as a passenger that didn't scare me to death constantly.
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