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Posted: 9/13/2004 8:20:23 AM EDT

There was a cucumber, a pickle, and a penis sitting around talking about how their lives sucked.

The cucumber "Man, my life sucks. When I get big, fat, and juicy, they cut me up and stick me on a salad."

The pickle looks at him and says, "You think you have it bad? When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick me in vinegar, put spices on me, and stick me in a jar."

The penis looks at him and says, "You think you have it rough? When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick a rubber tarp on my head, stick me in a dark room, and bang my head against the wall until I throw up and pass out!."
Link Posted: 9/13/2004 8:21:42 AM EDT
hate it when that happens
Link Posted: 9/13/2004 8:22:26 AM EDT
Three Inches - HOT!

An Italian man enters his favorite ritzy restaurant and while sitting at his regular table , he noticed a gorgeous woman sitting at a table nearby.... all alone.

He calls the waiter over and asks for their most expensive bottle of Merlot to be sent over to her, - knowing that if she accepts it, she is his.

The waiter gets the bottle and quickly sends it over to the girl, saying this from the gentleman. She looks at the wine and decides to send a note over to the man.

The note read: "For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and 7 inches in your pants.

The man, after reading the note, sends one of his own back to her and it read:

"Just so you know - I happen to have a Ferrari Testarosa, a BMW 850iL, and a Mercedes 560SEL in my garage; plus I have over twenty million dollars in the bank."

"But, not even for a woman beautiful as you, would I cut off three inches. Just send the bottle back!!!
Link Posted: 9/13/2004 9:18:18 AM EDT
My girlfriend said, "Give me 12 inches and make it hurt!", so I screwed her three times and slapped her when I was done.
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