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Posted: 10/27/2006 10:11:39 AM EDT
I was just talking to my buddy and in 8th grade he got caught in class trying to rub one out.

I dont know if the chick in front of him was hot or what but the poor guy was the laughing stock of the school for several weeks.

I would have refused to go back!

But he did and he survived and forgot about it until some jackass reminds him on a yearly basis!

Link Posted: 10/27/2006 10:12:37 AM EDT
[#1]


How can one even think of getting away with that...
Link Posted: 10/27/2006 10:12:50 AM EDT
[#2]
Getting a team membership why under the influence of niquill.

He was wacking in class?
Link Posted: 10/27/2006 10:25:40 AM EDT
[#3]
Wow that is so low,Thanks for you ridding your Guilt
Link Posted: 10/27/2006 10:26:23 AM EDT
[#4]
height=8
Quoted:
......until some jackass reminds him on a yearly basis!

And this doesn't happen to be you?
Link Posted: 10/27/2006 10:29:30 AM EDT
[#5]
6th grade.

The old sneeze and fart while taking a test (total silence) in a wooden desk.  Had to fart and was doing my best to hold it in, then all the sudden sneezed at the height of the clinch and totally blew it out.  Very loud when sitting in a wooden chair.
Link Posted: 10/27/2006 10:36:06 AM EDT
[#6]

Quoted:
6th grade.

The old sneeze and fart while taking a test (total silence) in a wooden desk.  Had to fart and was doing my best to hold it in, then all the sudden sneezed at the height of the clinch and totally blew it out.  Very loud when sitting in a wooden chair.




Did a similar thing.  We were being really bad so the third grade teacher told us to put our head down on the table for a time out.  She turned down the lights and BOOOOOOP! I let one fly.  Not on purpose I was trying to hold it in.  But I could hold the dam back anymore.

The kids busted out laughing and thought I did it on purpose to get at the teacher.  I got to  be the hero during recess.

Link Posted: 10/27/2006 10:39:19 AM EDT
[#7]
running down the stairs fresh out of the shower with just a towel on to answer the door. it was the AVON lady. opened the door, towel dropped. We both just stood there. I know that i turned red. her mouth dropped.
Link Posted: 10/27/2006 10:41:51 AM EDT
[#8]

Quoted:
running down the stairs fresh out of the shower with just a towel on to answer the door. it was the AVON lady. opened the door, towel dropped. We both just stood there. I know that i turned red. her mouth dropped.  Then she pointed and laughed.


Welcome to the site.
Link Posted: 10/27/2006 10:42:31 AM EDT
[#9]
When I posted in the "have you ever pooped your pants" Thread.
Link Posted: 10/27/2006 10:43:55 AM EDT
[#10]
7th or 8th grade at a campground with the fam for a few weeks during the summer.  There was a really cute girl that I had been flirting with for a few days or so.  We had talked here and there and things seemed to be going well.  

One afternoon my brothers and I were at the pool and she came with her family.  I casually swim over to the side of the pool and start talking to her (you know...trying to be the young suave stud).  As I was standing by the side of the pool talking to her, I finally got the nerve to ask her if she wanted to meet me later that night down by the lake.  My younger brother stealthily swims up behind me, jumps up from the murky depths, grabs my shorts and hauls them to my ankles.  

Everyone at the pool had a good laugh at my expense!  The water was COLD!!  

Still met her by the lake that night.  I got some sypathy make out kissing out of the incedent.
Link Posted: 10/27/2006 10:46:43 AM EDT
[#11]
thanks. pointed and was in awe. that was when i was in good shape and young. now i'm old and fat.
Link Posted: 10/27/2006 10:53:05 AM EDT
[#12]
Oh good GOD.

My entire life has been a series of embarassing moments

One recent one......

Monday morning....getting ready for work

Wife & I had become used to having the house to ourselves since both our sons went off to college.  Often the bathroom door wasn't closed when either of us showered.  My wife was blow drying her hair, I'd stepped out of the shower onto the bathmat & reached for my towel.  My son's girl friend opened his bedroom door which is directly across the hall from the bathroom.....poor thing.....

We had forgotten they both stayed over through Sunday night.  They didn't have to be back to class until late Monday.

Now the standing joke is.... "Dad make sure you have some pants on, I'm bringing my girl friend over."
Link Posted: 10/27/2006 10:56:39 AM EDT
[#13]
I was 15 years old and invited by a senior on the Cross Country team to be her date to the senior ball.  It was offically my first date.

The ball was to take place on the Hornblower yacht in the San Francisco bay.  There were six of us bunched together in a little compact car.  I had to share the front passenger seat with my date.  We stopped at a friend's house for pictures, and one of the camera flashes triggered a migraine for me.  I didn't want to spoil the date so I tried to tough it out....

The nausea hit me like a freight train as we were passing through Oakland.  I threw up in the car before they could pull over, right there while sharing the passanger seat with my date.  Fortunately I had the presence of mind to grab a bag at the friend's house, or it would have been all over the place.

When we got to the pier, I told my date to go on ahead with her friends on the boat, while I stayed at the pier and made arrangements for someone to come get me.  I was so embarrassed I wanted to crawl under a rock and die of shame.  To this day, about 16 years later, I still don't think I could look that girl in the eye I am so embarrased.
Link Posted: 10/27/2006 12:43:52 PM EDT
[#14]
My first wife and I were driving into town to go eat.  She was the one driving this time.  On the road ahead there was a cat.  She didn't even slow down until I asked here if she was going to hit the brakes as we got close.  By this time, the cat is walking off the road and into the drainage ditch.  No big deal.  I thought she would hit the gas and we continue.  But no, she continues braking and drives off into the ditch and nails the cat.  

You would have though she did it on purpose.  She drove a good 5 feet off the road.  Right when I heard the thump, we were about in somebody's front yard.  I look up at the house and there is a family with 3 young kids that had been playing in the front yard who had just seen their family pet murdered in front of their eyes.  Wife doesn't even stop to apologize.  She hit the gas and took off like a bat out of hell.  I'm sure that family thought we ran over their cat on purpose.  I felt so bad for those kids.
Link Posted: 10/27/2006 12:46:41 PM EDT
[#15]
I got caught posting on ARFCOM one time.......that was pretty bad.
Link Posted: 10/27/2006 12:52:53 PM EDT
[#16]
While I was in 8th grade I was going through some stress/emotional issues due to the death of my grandmother and three other relatives I was very close to, and was suffering random bouts of panic attack/nausea spells. I threw up in class like 3 times and once at lunch, everyone thought i was dying or had an eating disorder or something, it was pretty lame. Luckily no one held it against me, it phased out of common knowledge by highschool.
Link Posted: 10/27/2006 12:57:04 PM EDT
[#17]
This one time....at band camp----
Link Posted: 10/27/2006 12:59:42 PM EDT
[#18]

Quoted:

Quoted:
running down the stairs fresh out of the shower with just a towel on to answer the door. it was the AVON lady. opened the door, towel dropped. We both just stood there. I know that i turned red. her mouth dropped.  Then she pointed and laughed.


Welcome to the site.


Way to welcome the new guy.
Link Posted: 10/27/2006 1:31:10 PM EDT
[#19]
A bird shit on my head at applebees once, does that count ?
Link Posted: 10/27/2006 1:42:38 PM EDT
[#20]
Trying to set a record for situps in gym class in 7th grade,   let a fart sputter out.  

The person holding my feet was not amused but I started laughing as my face turned red.
Link Posted: 10/27/2006 1:51:16 PM EDT
[#21]

Quoted:
My first wife and I were driving into town to go eat.  She was the one driving this time.  On the road ahead there was a cat.  She didn't even slow down until I asked here if she was going to hit the brakes as we got close.  By this time, the cat is walking off the road and into the drainage ditch.  No big deal.  I thought she would hit the gas and we continue.  But no, she continues braking and drives off into the ditch and nails the cat.  

You would have though she did it on purpose.  She drove a good 5 feet off the road.  Right when I heard the thump, we were about in somebody's front yard.  I look up at the house and there is a family with 3 young kids that had been playing in the front yard who had just seen their family pet murdered in front of their eyes.  Wife doesn't even stop to apologize.  She hit the gas and took off like a bat out of hell.  I'm sure that family thought we ran over their cat on purpose.  I felt so bad for those kids.


Link Posted: 10/27/2006 1:52:03 PM EDT
[#22]
Not my most embarassing moment ever, but just the most recent. A woman had been flirting with me for some time and I'm recently single so I decide to ask her out. We're out with friends and I ask her, she seems excited and says yes. I tell a couple of my friends, high fives all around. Ten minutes later she's making out with some dude. Wheeeeeeeee.
Link Posted: 10/27/2006 1:56:34 PM EDT
[#23]

Quoted:
running down the stairs fresh out of the shower with just a towel on to answer the door. it was the AVON lady. opened the door, towel dropped. We both just stood there. I know that i turned red. her mouth dropped.


And your name is FULLSIZE!!!!!
Link Posted: 10/27/2006 1:56:39 PM EDT
[#24]
umm, so far its been calling this "woman" at chili's a sir...

oh, and anytime i try and call a girl
Link Posted: 10/27/2006 1:58:03 PM EDT
[#25]
No ones immune not even the new guy
Link Posted: 10/27/2006 1:58:37 PM EDT
[#26]
Not mine...


But at basic this dude Got a Boner in the Shower.

Everyone ran away screaming including me!
Link Posted: 10/27/2006 2:06:03 PM EDT
[#27]
The chili incident.
Link Posted: 10/27/2006 2:15:55 PM EDT
[#28]

Quoted:
Not mine...


But at basic this dude Got a Boner in the Shower.

Everyone ran away screaming including me!




Don't ask, don't tell.
Link Posted: 10/27/2006 2:19:15 PM EDT
[#29]
There was one story that stands out in particular. A fellow Congressional Page of mine was wearing stockings that seemed to be giving her a wedgie, so as she stood on one of the elevators in one of the House Office buildings her decided it would be best to remove the discomfort and 'pick the wedge' as she was doing this the doors to the elevator opened and in walked a Congressman. She desperately hoped that he didn't see her rearranging her stockings. After the doors closely her turned to her and said 'don't you just hate those' (refering to having a wedgie) I thought that was pretty humorous when I heard the story and can believe that she was mortified.
Link Posted: 10/27/2006 2:42:58 PM EDT
[#30]

Quoted:
My first wife and I were driving into town to go eat.  She was the one driving this time.  On the road ahead there was a cat.  She didn't even slow down until I asked here if she was going to hit the brakes as we got close.  By this time, the cat is walking off the road and into the drainage ditch.  No big deal.  I thought she would hit the gas and we continue.  But no, she continues braking and drives off into the ditch and nails the cat.  

You would have though she did it on purpose.  She drove a good 5 feet off the road.  Right when I heard the thump, we were about in somebody's front yard.  I look up at the house and there is a family with 3 young kids that had been playing in the front yard who had just seen their family pet murdered in front of their eyes.  Wife doesn't even stop to apologize.  She hit the gas and took off like a bat out of hell.  I'm sure that family thought we ran over their cat on purpose.  I felt so bad for those kids.


WTF?
Link Posted: 10/28/2006 1:19:10 PM EDT
[#31]

Quoted:
running down the stairs fresh out of the shower with just a towel on to answer the door. it was the AVON lady. opened the door, towel dropped. We both just stood there. I know that i turned red. her mouth dropped.


Well...you *are* "fullsizefan......"


Link Posted: 10/28/2006 1:21:24 PM EDT
[#32]

Quoted:

Quoted:
running down the stairs fresh out of the shower with just a towel on to answer the door. it was the AVON lady. opened the door, towel dropped. We both just stood there. I know that i turned red. her mouth dropped.


Well...you *are* "fullsizefan......"





Aren't you the quick one?
I'm sorry, please dont beat me.
Link Posted: 10/28/2006 1:28:28 PM EDT
[#33]
Im a sleep-walker.  It got me in some interesting positions while at youth camp!  Its even worse since your dad is the pastor!
Link Posted: 10/28/2006 1:37:29 PM EDT
[#34]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Quoted:
running down the stairs fresh out of the shower with just a towel on to answer the door. it was the AVON lady. opened the door, towel dropped. We both just stood there. I know that i turned red. her mouth dropped.


Well...you *are* "fullsizefan......"





Aren't you the quick one?

I'm sorry, please dont beat me.


If I beat you, they'd say the same about you.

<---runs like a bat outta hell outta thread

Link Posted: 10/28/2006 8:20:28 PM EDT
[#35]
Coitus Interuptus due to two sheriff's deputys pulling up on my highschool girlfriend and I. Luckily they just shook us up and scared us a little then sent us away with the advice to get a room next time.
Link Posted: 10/28/2006 8:26:38 PM EDT
[#36]
Not me, but I know this girl...

Link Posted: 10/28/2006 8:28:39 PM EDT
[#37]

Quoted:
Not me, but I know this girl...

i16.photobucket.com/albums/b29/1BMF/n57201509_30190344_2747.jpg
Dude, that's Peter Criss!!!
Link Posted: 10/28/2006 9:16:17 PM EDT
[#38]

Quoted:
Not me, but I know this girl...

i16.photobucket.com/albums/b29/1BMF/n57201509_30190344_2747.jpg


Holy shit thats funny.  A girl did the same thing to my buddy.  Put toothpaste in his armpits and used a sharpie on his face.

At least he got pie out of it the next day.
Link Posted: 10/28/2006 9:27:18 PM EDT
[#39]
ok,this is real fucked up.years ago i worked for a courier company,i was working the night shift and earlier that night i had some really hot chili.so im driving my shift when it hits me bad.i gotta take a shit my stomach is making  many fucked up noises and the pressure in my rectum is making me break out in sweats.now this is a big city and im going crazy trying to find a place to shit.every place is closed and its winter so with snow banks and shit i cant find place.by now tears are coming down my face and i feel like imgoing to pass out fall down and shit my pants in that order.so i look around the truck for any thing to shit into and find a olastic bag like the kind they put groceries into.i go in the back drop my pants and hold the bag up to my ass(now keep in mind ive been holding it back for a good 10 min).well the shit comes out with such vicious force that it blows the bag out of my hands and  shit sprays every wher,all over the parcels, the truck, my pants,my shirt tail and my hands.and to make matters worse i uncontrollably start pissing all over too.it is so fuckin disgusting and im so quesy taht i blow chunks all over too.IM FUCKED,IM TOTALLY FUCKED.for the next hour i try to clean everything with snow,but damn.so i get back to base and i run in to the bathroom and guys are like what the fuks that smell you sick fuck.about 15 min later i get out of the bathroom after iget cleaned up and a co worker comes up to me and says.dude you better get up to the office right away there flipping out.so now i figure im in big trouble so i go to the office and my boss yells WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO IN THAT TRUCK!!!so i explain to him and                  he yells again ARE YOU FUCKIN RETARDED and he cans me on the spot,which is just as well because the ball breaking would have been way out of control.I knew that chili had to many onions.
Link Posted: 10/28/2006 9:29:32 PM EDT
[#40]
In college I hooked up the bunsen burner to a water spout instead of the gas spout.  Turned the valve and it jumped all over the counter spraying water everywhere.
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