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Posted: 9/23/2004 8:19:34 AM EST
I'll try and keep this as short as possible. I was living by myself, then my good friend's parents moved, so he had to move out, I got a place with him even though he didn't have a job, but was getting one. It was against my better financial judgement, but he's a good friend, and he couldn't afford a place by himself.

Been living in this place for 4 months and he owes me a month and a half rent, about $600. Right before we got the place he got fired from his job, so I hooked him up with a friend of mine who got him a job. He got fired from that job about 3 months later. He's been without work for about 3 weeks. He has no money, can't pay me, can't pay his bills.

He tried to get a loan from the bank, they said they wouldn't do it without a cosigner. He asked me to cosign for him and said I was his last resort because he's asked everyone else.

I'm very hesitant because he's shitty with money and is already in a mountain of debt. If I help him out, I get my money, but put my credit on the line. If he fucks up on the loan, my credit gets hurt, and right now my credit is pretty much flawless.

What would you do?
Link Posted: 9/23/2004 8:21:24 AM EST
You alerady know the answer.
Make the hard choice and cut him loose.
He has proven he can't hold a job, doesn't respect/value your friendship (your rent loan), doesn't understand the responsibility of rent.


Get out.
Get out now.
Link Posted: 9/23/2004 8:23:47 AM EST
Is this a trick question?

Hell no.

You will get YOUR money on a loan YOU will cosign?

Chalk up your losses now and move on.

Link Posted: 9/23/2004 8:24:20 AM EST
I would avoid getting in any deeper. Any money he "owes" you is probably money you are never going to see. If you co-sign for a loan with a guy like this, you have to be prepared to pay it off all by yourself. If you're not willing to take that risk, do not sign. Based on how you're describing him, he WILL fuck up on the loan.


Ultimately, it's your choice. Is he such a good friend that you are prepared to lose lots of money, risk your credit, etc for him - or do you need to find a better quality of friend?


Link Posted: 9/23/2004 8:24:31 AM EST
cut your losses. if he doesn't understand, fuck him, he's retarded anyway.
Link Posted: 9/23/2004 8:25:00 AM EST
Don't do it. I've already heard enough to see that you are not going to be able to help this guy. He won't even help himself. Maybe being cut loose will make him grow up and take responsibility for his own actions, instead of depending on others.
Link Posted: 9/23/2004 8:25:57 AM EST
"He has no money, can't pay me, can't pay his bills."

That should be enough reason NOT to co-sign!

Link Posted: 9/23/2004 8:27:58 AM EST
He'll screw you again. He's young, boot him out, he ain't gonna die.

Just give him the money if it suits you and don't bother with the charade of a loan because you will never see the money again. If he has a car, hold the title; that's about your only recourse.
Link Posted: 9/23/2004 8:28:16 AM EST
I was in this exact situation about a year ago.
I did help him out.
Lent him money to pay off his bills.
Covered his portion of the rent for 6 months while he was "looking" for a job.
Payed for all the food, gas, electricity, etc. on my own.
Piled up a mountain of my own debt trying to keep him afloat.

Now, my credit is shot to hell, the guy dropped off everyone's radar, and he still owes me well over 2 grand.
So now I've spent the last year trying to recover from that debacle and you know what?
I'm still not done paying off shit left over from that.

So the only reasonable answer you should consider is: Cut him loose. A little tough love to make him learn the world isn't free and you have to pay your own way. You risk a friend, but what kind of friend would you be if you didn't try to teach him the most valuable lesson of his life?
Link Posted: 9/23/2004 8:28:54 AM EST
Do you have enough cash on hand to cover the amount he is borrowing? Hell, why involve the bank, you’ll just end up paying it either way. Just give him the money now and be done with it.
Link Posted: 9/23/2004 8:28:55 AM EST
Friends and loaned money don't mix. Don't sign for him, that what parents are for.

Fired from 2 jobs in 3 months is a BAD sign.
Link Posted: 9/23/2004 8:30:50 AM EST
Don't let people drag you down with them. My brother is the same way
Link Posted: 9/23/2004 8:33:50 AM EST
Maybe I'm reading too much into this, and I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm picking on your friend, but let me see if I can make this a little more detailed.


Originally Posted By jtusa:
I'll try and keep this as short as possible. I was living responsibly and gainfully by myself, then my good friend's parents moved so they could be rid of their worthless freeloading son, so he had to move out. Against my better judgement, 'cause even I make a mistake once or twice a year, I got a place with him even though he didn't have a job, but was getting one. It was against my better financial judgement, but for reasons even I don't know he's a good friend, and he couldn't afford a place by himself and I felt sorry for the poor fool.

Been living in this place for 4 months and he owes me a month and a half rent, about $600. Right before we got the place he got fired from his job which he must have only been at for a week or so, so I hooked him up with a friend of mine I could palm this loser off on who got him a job. He got fired from that job about 3 months later to no one's surprise. He's been without work for about 3 weeks. He has no money, can't pay me, can't pay his bills.

He tried to get a loan from the bank, they laughed VERY hard and said they wouldn't do it without a cosigner friend even dumber than he is who actually HAS some credit. He asked me to cosign for him and said I was his last resort because he's asked everyone else and is so far beyond desperate that I thought for a moment he was going to offer certain favors.

I'm very hesitant because I'm not COMPLETELY stupid and he's ****ty with money and is already in a mountain of debt. If I help him out, I get my money for a little while until I need to repay the loan, but put my credit on the line lose every trace of my good credit. If WHEN he ****s up on the loan, my credit gets hurt, and right now my credit is pretty much flawless.

What would you do? Make me feel better about cutting this loser off and losing his friendship forever.



Did I miss anything? Yes, help a friend in need, but sometimes that means saying, "No, I will not help you dig this hole any deeper."

I will surely edit this to fix code....


Link Posted: 9/23/2004 8:33:52 AM EST
He owes you a lot of money already. Why would you co-sign for him? The amount you've "lent" him is enough.
Link Posted: 9/23/2004 8:36:26 AM EST
Money isn't the answer, its a job. Also, I've come to the realization that you don't lend what you cant give. I give people money, and if I get it back, great, if not, than so be it. Good luck.
Link Posted: 9/23/2004 8:36:47 AM EST
DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT COSIGN FOR THAT LOAN!
Link Posted: 9/23/2004 8:37:24 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/23/2004 8:39:45 AM EST by jtusa]
I pretty much agree with you guys I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being unreasonable.

What other options could I tell him about? He's tried loans as little as 2 grand from two different banks and both said the same thing. I told him to go to a credit union or something and put up his car title for a loan but he said he didn't think that would since his car isn't completely paid for.

I've never taken out a loan from a bank or credit union so I don't know. Any of you that are more well-versed in the financial world have some input I could pass along to him.

I don't want to pay for him to exist, however, I don't want to put him on the street either.

ETA: As far as the money I've put up for rent, I can afford, it's just seriously cut into my toy fund(But hey, I worked my ass off in college and got a real job so I could have lots of toy money.)
Link Posted: 9/23/2004 8:38:10 AM EST

Originally Posted By jtusa:
I'll try and keep this as short as possible. I was living by myself, then my good friend's parents moved, so he had to move out, I got a place with him even though he didn't have a job, but was getting one. It was against my better financial judgement, but he's a good friend, and he couldn't afford a place by himself.

Been living in this place for 4 months and he owes me a month and a half rent, about $600. Right before we got the place he got fired from his job, so I hooked him up with a friend of mine who got him a job. He got fired from that job about 3 months later. He's been without work for about 3 weeks. He has no money, can't pay me, can't pay his bills.

He tried to get a loan from the bank, they said they wouldn't do it without a cosigner. He asked me to cosign for him and said I was his last resort because he's asked everyone else.

I'm very hesitant because he's shitty with money and is already in a mountain of debt. If I help him out, I get my money, but put my credit on the line. If he fucks up on the loan, my credit gets hurt, and right now my credit is pretty much flawless.

What would you do?





Kick his ass, Seabass!!!
Link Posted: 9/23/2004 8:44:00 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/23/2004 8:46:36 AM EST by drache]

Originally Posted By jtusa:
I pretty much agree with you guys I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being unreasonable.

What other options could I tell him about? He's tried loans as little as 2 grand from two different banks and both said the same thing. I told him to go to a credit union or something and put up his car title for a loan but he said he didn't think that would since his car isn't completely paid for.

I've never taken out a loan from a bank or credit union so I don't know. Any of you that are more well-versed in the financial world have some input I could pass along to him.

I don't want to pay for him to exist, however, I don't want to put him on the street either.

ETA: As far as the money I've put up for rent, I can afford, it's just seriously cut into my toy fund(But hey, I worked my ass off in college and got a real job so I could have lots of toy money.)



He's at least right about that. Banks won't loan you money against a car unless you hold the title. Credit unions are a little more lenient with their lending, but even they won't do this. Unless he's a member at that credit union then the likelihood of them granting him a loan at all is very slim.

edited to add: With his credit (or lack of) he might as well skip trying to get a bank or credit union to loan him money. I doubt you'll find one with less restrictive terms than was already offered.
Link Posted: 9/23/2004 8:48:44 AM EST
If you cosign for him you are a sucker.

Cut your losses and kick him out.
Link Posted: 9/23/2004 8:48:53 AM EST

Originally Posted By jtusa:
I pretty much agree with you guys I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being unreasonable.

What other options could I tell him about? He's tried loans as little as 2 grand from two different banks and both said the same thing. I told him to go to a credit union or something and put up his car title for a loan but he said he didn't think that would since his car isn't completely paid for.

I've never taken out a loan from a bank or credit union so I don't know. Any of you that are more well-versed in the financial world have some input I could pass along to him.

I don't want to pay for him to exist, however, I don't want to put him on the street either.

ETA: As far as the money I've put up for rent, I can afford, it's just seriously cut into my toy fund(But hey, I worked my ass off in college and got a real job so I could have lots of toy money.)


Show him this thread. What he needs is a chance to look at his life through someone else's eyes. In your position, the only assistance I'd consider (and it's a lot) is to sit down with him, explain that he needs to be responsible for his own life and to give him two months to get a job together and start paying his share plus a little towards back rent and such. Anything else is carrying him rather than helping him.

I went through a similar situation years ago. If he's a friend, offer him honest feedback, even when it's harsh. I've told friends they were fucking up, and I've had friends tell me when I was fucking up. I'm greatful that they did it, and my life is pretty good in large part because the people I care about give me unvarnnished feedback.

A great philosopher once said 'build a fire for a man, and he will be warm for a night. Light a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life'. Wait, that doesn't sound quite right...
Link Posted: 9/23/2004 8:51:50 AM EST
Absolutely NOT!

The longer you let this guy slide, the longer it will be before he learns responsibility, and the harder that lesson will be.

Do you want to spend the rest of your life covering the bills this guy can't pay?
Link Posted: 9/23/2004 8:55:06 AM EST

Originally Posted By tommytrauma:

Originally Posted By jtusa:
I pretty much agree with you guys I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being unreasonable.

What other options could I tell him about? He's tried loans as little as 2 grand from two different banks and both said the same thing. I told him to go to a credit union or something and put up his car title for a loan but he said he didn't think that would since his car isn't completely paid for.

I've never taken out a loan from a bank or credit union so I don't know. Any of you that are more well-versed in the financial world have some input I could pass along to him.

I don't want to pay for him to exist, however, I don't want to put him on the street either.

ETA: As far as the money I've put up for rent, I can afford, it's just seriously cut into my toy fund(But hey, I worked my ass off in college and got a real job so I could have lots of toy money.)


Show him this thread. What he needs is a chance to look at his life through someone else's eyes. In your position, the only assistance I'd consider (and it's a lot) is to sit down with him, explain that he needs to be responsible for his own life and to give him two months to get a job together and start paying his share plus a little towards back rent and such. Anything else is carrying him rather than helping him.

I went through a similar situation years ago. If he's a friend, offer him honest feedback, even when it's harsh. I've told friends they were fucking up, and I've had friends tell me when I was fucking up. I'm greatful that they did it, and my life is pretty good in large part because the people I care about give me unvarnnished feedback.

A great philosopher once said 'build a fire for a man, and he will be warm for a night. Light a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life'. Wait, that doesn't sound quite right...




Link Posted: 9/23/2004 8:56:23 AM EST
It'll be hard to say no to him now, but do it , it'll be better for you in the long run and hopefully him. The more people bail him out, the longer it will be before he'll stand on his own 2 feet.

Roy
Link Posted: 9/23/2004 9:12:35 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/23/2004 9:14:13 AM EST by rxdawg]

What other options could I tell him about?


Nobody is going to lend him money in his current situation. Tell him to grow the fuck up and get a job. Give him 30 days to be gainfully employed and paying his way (and paying you back), or you will point him toward the closest shelter. He is overdue for his lesson about life being harsh sometimes.

ETA: A real friend wouldnt sponge off you like that. Something to think about.
Link Posted: 9/23/2004 9:51:00 AM EST

Originally Posted By rxdawg:Nobody is going to lend him money in his current situation.


Pawn shop?
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