Someone I care about a lot is going through a really tough time dealing with a career change...giving up a lifelong pursuit. Its been hard trying to find a new path for them.

It got me thinking about the toughest things we face.

For some its boot camp...
For others it might be in battle...an ambush along a highway in Iraq for example...
Having to bury a child comes to mind...
The eventual coping that follows the loss of parents...
Overcoming alcoholism, smoking, or other drug addiction...
For a few folks, climbing Everest was probably pretty tough...
Rebuilding after a flood, earthquake, tornado, fire, etc...devastating I am sure...

What is the toughest thing that you have successfully overcome? (or that you reasonably think you might have to in your life?)

For me I suppose its tied between the loss of a close friend and the loss of a parent, both at a young age. I am quite sure life will challenge me in harder ways some day, but so far, those were probably the biggest challenges I felt as though I have gotten past completely and put behind me.

I always felt that rebuilding ones life after the total loss of a home due to fire would be pretty damn hard. I have heard of a few cases among people I have known....it always seemed so hard on those folks...losing every personal effect...pictures of their babies, clothes, heirlooms, etc. I cant even imagine that reality.

So, besides the tragic boating accident that claimed all your guns (except for the 10/22 and .38 of course).....what has put your back up against the wall?

The fact that my lovely wife has cancer. It's very tough for me to see her going through this, and in a sense, I'm going through it, too. Not complaining here, but you asked.

Nothing I have ever suffered is anything in comparison to what people I know have suffered and overcame.  

None of your business.

My mom's passing has probably been the worst for me, even though it wasn't a big surprise given her age and a string of strokes and heart attacks she had suffered over 10 years or so before her death. That was 9 years ago this past Wednesday, and I still think about her every day. My dad is 91 now so that too is something I always have to deal with. I spend as much time with him as I can though - he's only 20 miles away.

Interestingly, I recently quit smoking which I just knew was going to be really hard for me, but in reality it was pretty darn easy thanks to modern pharmaceuticals (nicotine patch).

Another toughie was a thorough back stabbing I received from what I thought was my best friend. Life got him back for me though - 20 years later he's a crack head parolee unemployable worthless POS. I, on the other hand, have never been better, thank you!!

I have had it better than most and I know it. Being born American is about the luckiest thing that can happen to a person.

Quoted: Nothing I have ever suffered is anything in comparison to what people I know have suffered and overcame.

So true.

Finding out that my 2 year old (at the time) son had a kidney disease.  Finding out that of the immediate family members, I was the one with the kidney match so if he did need one I was going to be the one to save his life.  Having to go through several types of medications to find out what combination of drugs will work to get it and to keep  it working.  Having to help him through the side effects of the medication.  And finely getting the combination that works and having my prescription insurance not pay for one of the drugs and having to pay $645 out of my pocket each month for it.

The last four months have pretty much been it for me as far as the "Hardest" thing i've ever delt with.    

Without going into too much detail, I "knew" I had some sort of abdominal cancer and spent the winter undergoing tests, surgeries, CT scans and preparing myself and my family for an early exit

Yesterday was "D-Day" as far as deciding weather or not I needed to initiate my departure (for insurance reasons) or to fight (and most likely lose).  Just about the most un-fun shit I've ever had to consider.

Anyway, I found out yesterday that everything was benign and that I still have a long string of tomorrows in front of me.  I'm trying to process that fact right now.  It's been a NASTY four months.

Divorcing my soul mate  

Addiction.

Been 11 years now.

Quoted: The last four months have pretty much been it for me as far as the "Hardest" thing i've ever delt with.     Without going into too much detail, I "knew" I had some sort of abdominal cancer and spent the winter undergoing tests, surgeries, CT scans and preparing myself and my family for an early exit Yesterday was "D-Day" as far as deciding weather or not I needed to initiate my departure (for insurance reasons) or to fight (and most likely lose).  Just about the most un-fun shit I've ever had to consider. Anyway, I found out yesterday that everything was benign and that I still have a long string of tomorrows in front of me.  I'm trying to process that fact right now.  It's been a NASTY four months.

That't incredible!  I've never been faced with my own mortality like that, my hat's off to you for keeping your wits about you.  

I've overcome very little in my life that's been truly difficult.  

I have NOTHING to complain about.  Divorce, father's death, son in prison, father-in-laws death, etc., nothing.  My heart goes out to the ones that have lost children.  I just have an old man's normal life and no right to complain, compared to others here.

Me living in TX and my son living in UT


I havnt overcome it yet though

Losing my mother.
My divorce.
I live in NC and my daughters live in FL.



I've had an easy life. I'm not going to complain. Some things other have had to go through still curl my hair.

Quoted: Quoted: The last four months have pretty much been it for me as far as the "Hardest" thing i've ever delt with.     Without going into too much detail, I "knew" I had some sort of abdominal cancer and spent the winter undergoing tests, surgeries, CT scans and preparing myself and my family for an early exit Yesterday was "D-Day" as far as deciding weather or not I needed to initiate my departure (for insurance reasons) or to fight (and most likely lose).  Just about the most un-fun shit I've ever had to consider. Anyway, I found out yesterday that everything was benign and that I still have a long string of tomorrows in front of me.  I'm trying to process that fact right now.  It's been a NASTY four months. That't incredible!  I've never been faced with my own mortality like that, my hat's off to you for keeping your wits about you.   I've overcome very little in my life that's been truly difficult.

Thanks for the kudos Chair' .  It's something we'll ALL have to deal with eventually.  I've tried to keep things in perspective.  The week this all started for me ( At 42) my local paper ran an obituary for an 11 yr old girl who died of cancer.  I have nothing to complain about.  I've treated my body like a toilet for decades and probably deserve anything at this point.  An 11 yr old girl doesn't.  That fact kept me from feeling too sorry for myself these past weeks.

Im young, so I have a wealth of pain to experience. But in 22 years, the following 4 things made me break (chronological order)

1 - knee surgery (complete rebuilt ACL from hamstring graph w/meniscus repair), WHILE still going to college fulltime

2 - Watching my mother go through chemo

3- Being medically sep. from the Army 2 months before commissioning.

4- living apart from my wife this last year (she is active duty in FL, im finishing school), and saying goodbye to her last week since she deploys to the horn of Africa for 7 months next week

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: The last four months have pretty much been it for me as far as the "Hardest" thing i've ever delt with.     Without going into too much detail, I "knew" I had some sort of abdominal cancer and spent the winter undergoing tests, surgeries, CT scans and preparing myself and my family for an early exit Yesterday was "D-Day" as far as deciding weather or not I needed to initiate my departure (for insurance reasons) or to fight (and most likely lose).  Just about the most un-fun shit I've ever had to consider. Anyway, I found out yesterday that everything was benign and that I still have a long string of tomorrows in front of me.  I'm trying to process that fact right now.  It's been a NASTY four months. That't incredible!  I've never been faced with my own mortality like that, my hat's off to you for keeping your wits about you.   I've overcome very little in my life that's been truly difficult.   Thanks for the kudos Chair' .  It's something we'll ALL have to deal with eventually.  I've tried to keep things in perspective.  The week this all started for me ( At 42) my local paper ran an obituary for an 11 yr old girl who died of cancer.  I have nothing to complain about.  I've treated my body like a toilet for decades and probably deserve anything at this point.  An 11 yr old girl doesn't.  That fact kept me from feeling too sorry for myself these past weeks.

Thanks for putting it in perspective.We all have shit to deal wit,but there's ALWAYS someone in a worse way.

No problem Dave.

It;s a fact.  Little ones  have to deal with it

Breaks my heart.

You're all good guys and I KNOW you'll pony-up to help the little ones who're needing your help right now.

At the point in life, my dad going through and dying of cancer. Never thought we would have buried him at 51 years old.

Quoted: At the point in life, my dad going through and dying of cancer. Never thought we would have buried him at 51 years old.

God bless you kiddo.

None of us KNOW WHAT'S  THE TIME.  

The best you can do is to (try) and control  his time.

Cookie is waiting,

Love you both,''
\\\\\\\\

I have truly been blessed so far in life.
The worst thing I've experienced is a Crazy psychopathic unstable femanine lifeform playing games with my heart and mind.  Partly my fault for not removing the blinders.  I eventually lost 30 lbs, somewhere between $1K-2K in expenses, and had my good name dragged into court for no reason.

temptation
& I don't always over come it

1) Not knowing my father for the first 27 years of my life left a pretty huge chip on my shoulder for the better part of it.

Finally meeting him and facing the reality that he had many problems and was human and that I need to forgive him and move on took me over 10 years. Once I finally let go of that shit he got cancer and died within a period of about 8 months; I am glad that I was able to get to know him.

2) Being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis at the age of 26. I was doing well in a career in underground construction and was on my way to taking a foremans position when it took hold. It took the Doctor almost 3 years to properly diagnose it and treat it and by then I could no longer work in the field I was in due to severity of the onset of it.

I went back to a trade school and got into the IT realm after hard deliberation on what I would truly enjoy. The hardest part in all of this was changing my ideas about who I was. I had always been a physical hard charging kinda guy and the illness literally kicked the crap out of me physicaly, mentaly and spiritualy. It took me a long time to adjust to the fact that I was not my job and that I could be just as happy and productive in a more sedentary position and that the people close to me would accept me. Its all a bunch of healy feely BS to be honest but I had to come to grips with it and it was a bitch.

3)The death of my Aunt and then her son the next day. Kicked the crap out of me.

Being diagnosed with cancer two days after giving birth to my baby boy. It's been a rough year.

Driving my mother around to her rounds of lung cancer treatments that were for the sole purpose of  "improving her quality of life at the end"  

Going to bed in the house I grew up in [ and hadn't slept in for 23 yrs ] not knowing if she would be dead in her bedroom the next morning.

10 months from very early detection to dead.

Cigarettes, don't ya just love em ?

rj

Cancer was rough.  Getting divorced in law school was rough.  Having to fight in the courts was harder.  Seeing my son only 4 days a month is even harder.

But, the one thing that is the hardest for me to get over is when I was 9, my dad and I went to my grandpa's house a few miles from our place.  We found my grandpa laying on the couch, ashen gray, barely breathing (early signs of heart attack).  My dad ran to get a mirror to see if he was breathing (fog on mirror).  I ran out of the house to the neighbors, stopped neighbor's car (she was backing out of driveway), said "help help, my grandfather is dying of a heart attack!!"  

Neighbor said "not my problem, I have to go get my mom to take her to a doctor's appointment" and she backed out and drove off.

I ran back in the house, my father had called 911, I told my grandfather to hang on.  He looked at me, smiled weakly, his eyes rolled back in his head, he let out a long moan, and died.

That woman is the only person I have ever sincerely wished a horrible slow painful death upon.... and if I saw her getting eaten by pitbulls I would just watch in stony silence as I poured A1 sauce on her.

Losing my Dad to lung cancer.  Nov. 17, 2005  at 9:45am.  Watched him die, with his family that loved him dearly around him, in the house he built, the house he raised us in.      

I still miss my Dad something fierce.    THAT, is the hardest thing I've ever gone thru, and still go thru every day.  It is hard to let go.  

vmax84

Having a senior staff member and close friend commit suicide by hanging, and finding out it he did it because his wife was fucking another one of my employees.

Retired from the service as E-6.  Survived Desert Storm, but couldn't survive betrayal.

I would have to say being with a man for 8 years, only to find out he was cheating the whole time. Went through the seperation/divorce subject. Fell in love again, shortly after found out I had cancer. No chance of bearing a child now, then to be told by new love that he doesn't love me only 4 days after major surgery. It has all made me a stronger woman today. I will never take for granted my life. Will enjoy life around me as it happens and have put that wall around my heart.

Thanks for sharing your stories, it really does make you think. My problems are so much less after reading some of your stories.

My brother's suicide.  My parentss where out of town so I went by his house.  I thought something might br wrong so I went to the neighbors house (County Coroner).  He wasn't home so his wife called the police.  They entered and found him.  

I thanked them for doing a difficult job.  I just didn't want that he be my last memory.

biopolar girlfriend...................still learning and dealing.  It is only tough cause i love her.
Other than that...............my job hands down

eta: forget the second half of this post.  i'm lucky to have a job and that was ridiculas and petty.

Quoted: Nothing I have ever suffered is anything in comparison to what people I know have suffered and overcame.

+1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

well said

Quoted: biopolar girlfriend...................still learning and dealing.  It is only tough cause i love her. Other than that...............my job hands down

I have bi-polar disorder and I can tell you that you really need to educate yourself to help her . I can tell you that people really treat you as though mental illness is your fault and make you feel worse about yourself . Remember to tell her that you love her no matter what , and keep up with the meds .   maxx

Quoted: 1) Not knowing my father for the first 27 years of my life left a pretty huge chip on my shoulder for the better part of it. Finally meeting him and facing the reality that he had many problems and was human and that I need to forgive him and move on took me over 10 years. Once I finally let go of that shit he got cancer and died within a period of about 8 months; I am glad that I was able to get to know him. Being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis at the age of 26. I was doing well in a career in underground construction and was on my way to taking a foremans position when it took hold. It took the Doctor almost 3 years to properly diagnose it and treat it and by then I could no longer work in the field I was in due to severity of the onset of it. I went back to a trade school and got into the IT realm after hard deliberation on what I would truly enjoy. The hardest part in all of this was changing my ideas about who I was. I had always been a physical hard charging kinda guy and the illness literally kicked the crap out of me physicaly, mentaly and spiritualy. It took me a long time to adjust to the fact that I was not my job and that I could be just as happy and productive in a more sedentary position and that the people close to me would accept me. Its all a bunch of healy feely BS to be honest but I had to come to grips with it and it was a bitch. 3)The death of my Aunt and then her son the next day. Kicked the crap out of me.

he hit the problems that relate to me as opposed to family and relationships.  the second part(blue) is something that i try every day to accept.  I want to protect and serve and being older and knowing myself and reactions under intense situations i want to help keep other younger soilders safe while protecting my country/family but no waiver in the world is going to get me in so i teach myself and anyone who is interested including VERY uninformed reservist'  VETS!!  Army and airforce the art of the rifleman.  It helps me to help them.

Mine might sound bad, but it doesn't compare to some of the posts that I've read on here about the hell that parents go through when their kid is diagnosed with something that could be terminal.  Actually my problem was harder on my family than me.

In November 1992 I had a HALO accident that put me in ICU for 3 weeks due to life threatening complications.  In addition to the other problems I broke my back in 3 places severing my spinal cord and putting me in a wheelchair for life.  I wound up retiring from the army 2 days shy of 10 years as an E-7.

The worst part for me was following 9/11 when many of my former team mates from the 5th Special Forces infiltrated into Afghanistan and later went to Iraq and all that I could do was watch them leave.  That's a pain that I've yet to get over.

death.

Being DX'ed with Myasthenia Gravis at 21. My thymectomy. The immune suppressants I have to take and the constant concern about dying from what should just be a bad flu because of them.

Oh well, I guess when you can't hold your eyelids open and your speech is slurred, and you have problems chewing food, the news that it isn't a brain tumor is good.

 I had a child with a girl in high school. Her name was Zoey Elizabeth. I had to quit school to support my daughter and her mother. I moved us into a house at 18 and was doing pretty good under the circumstances. One day we decided to explore the area we had just moved to and went for a car ride. It really was a beautiful day and we had been out for a few hours. My then fiancee decided she would drive us home after we had stopped for lunch. About half way back to the house she ran off the road a bit. We were traveling about 60/65 in a 55 zone. The drop off for the road to the dirt was higher than normal so when she corrected to come back on the road we got side ways in a front wheel drive car. She was inexperienced and over corrected and after about three good fish tails we went off into the woods. The baby was in a car seat however it was her side that we hit on and the Ford Escort we were in just collapsed on her. I was in the back with her with no seatbelt on. I got pretty fucked up but nothing life threatening. She would have been 10 on May the 6th.

Losing my grandmother (whom I was very close with) the same week as my wife informed me she wanted a divorce fucked me up for awhile.

Quoted:  I had a child with a girl in high school. Her name was Zoey Elizabeth... She would have been 10 on May the 6th.

Quoted:  I had a child with a girl in high school. Her name was Zoey Elizabeth. I had to quit school to support my daughter and her mother. I moved us into a house at 18 and was doing pretty good under the circumstances. One day we decided to explore the area we had just moved to and went for a car ride. It really was a beautiful day and we had been out for a few hours. My then fiancee decided she would drive us home after we had stopped for lunch. About half way back to the house she ran off the road a bit. We were traveling about 60/65 in a 55 zone. The drop off for the road to the dirt was higher than normal so when she corrected to come back on the road we got side ways in a front wheel drive car. She was inexperienced and over corrected and after about three good fish tails we went off into the woods. The baby was in a car seat however it was her side that we hit on and the Ford Escort we were in just collapsed on her. I was in the back with her with no seatbelt on. I got pretty fucked up but nothing life threatening. She would have been 10 on May the 6th.

So sorry.

I think that the loss of a child has to be the hardest thing to bear.

Quoted:  I had a child with a girl in high school. Her name was Zoey Elizabeth. I had to quit school to support my daughter and her mother. I moved us into a house at 18 and was doing pretty good under the circumstances. One day we decided to explore the area we had just moved to and went for a car ride. It really was a beautiful day and we had been out for a few hours. My then fiancee decided she would drive us home after we had stopped for lunch. About half way back to the house she ran off the road a bit. We were traveling about 60/65 in a 55 zone. The drop off for the road to the dirt was higher than normal so when she corrected to come back on the road we got side ways in a front wheel drive car. She was inexperienced and over corrected and after about three good fish tails we went off into the woods. The baby was in a car seat however it was her side that we hit on and the Ford Escort we were in just collapsed on her. I was in the back with her with no seatbelt on. I got pretty fucked up but nothing life threatening. She would have been 10 on May the 6th.

... I havent got the words man... I am so sorry.

damn, thats some harsh shit you guys have... my little stuff

recently happened

girlfriend of 4 years cheated and left (thought we were going to get married, guess not)
cat died
dog died
moved to LA where I know no one and the place sucks

on the plus side I moved to LA for a new job and make good money, but it dont mean shit when everyone left you.

It was one of the things in my life that made me who I am today. I am a better person because of her. That is the best thing you can do when faced with tragedy. Learn from it and grow. Thank you all for the kind words.

Ended my Military Service early to come home and look after Mom
8 years of Bone Cancer, Chemo, Remission,Relapse
I hated to see her suffer

My Divorce   I would've went thru fire for her AND her family and I did
In the end I had to say good riddance even though she eventually admitted "I made a mistake"
I miss my former extended family more than her ( Nieces, Nephews ) she took that from me

Boot Camp US Army Ft Jackson was the best 8 weeks of my life not hard at all
Sheriff's Dept Academy was a Joke

Recently the hard things are Work  After 16 years of being a Correction Officer I've burned out
Battling Burnout Depression Mood Swings
Trying to be a Good Father to Twin 7 year old boys
Even Harder trying to be Stepdad to my 12 year old daughter

Wife had surgery back in Dec that was tough
Dealing with her "Negative Body Self Image Diet Crap "  ( Just eat right and exercise Damnit ! )

Both my Boys appear as Normal and Healthy as can be
Ryan Diagnosed with PDD ( a form of Autism ) and Aspergers and slightly Asthmatic can be a Challenge  I was originally told  "He'll always require special education " he's proven them wrong
Matthew is extremely athletic loves Karate but suffers from Headaches alot has to undergo an MRI on Monday  ( I pray that it's normal ) He gets periodic episodes of Angry Outbursts and then I get the stupid phone calls from the teacher

The Hardest is is Definitely my Childrens Health    That wears on me the most

Life is where the rubber meets the road
The Nitty Gritty Day to Day stuff

I recntly heard Sean Hannitty and Larry the cable guy comment about visiting Walter Reed Army Hospital and seeing all the wounded troops
"For the rest of my life I dont have any problems" they said

In a sense I think Americans have become soft  I myself wants life to be easy

My mother dying   Yeah that sucked  But she had Cancer   That's life
My Divorce   Hey that's a choice she made   Her loss

People that I've known that have been Murdered      Now that's hard to deal with
People that I've known that have committed suicide     That's real hard to deal with

Co-worker killed himself two weeks before Christmas  Left Behind a Pregnant Wife and two children
That was hard and Administration and even the Union just shrugged it off like it was nothing

There's a saying "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you deal with it " I think that's true

"I just wanted a Normal Life "- Wyatt Earp
" There is no such thing as a Normal Life, there's just....Life " - Doc Holiday

Now a Spiritual Perspective on Circumstances :
" And he has made from one blood every nation of men to dwell on all the face of the earth and has determined their preappointed times and boundaries of their dwellings " Acts 17:27

"For our light affliction which is but for a moment" 2Cor 4:17

Quoted:  I had a child with a girl in high school. Her name was Zoey Elizabeth. I had to quit school to support my daughter and her mother. I moved us into a house at 18 and was doing pretty good under the circumstances. One day we decided to explore the area we had just moved to and went for a car ride. It really was a beautiful day and we had been out for a few hours. My then fiancee decided she would drive us home after we had stopped for lunch. About half way back to the house she ran off the road a bit. We were traveling about 60/65 in a 55 zone. The drop off for the road to the dirt was higher than normal so when she corrected to come back on the road we got side ways in a front wheel drive car. She was inexperienced and over corrected and after about three good fish tails we went off into the woods. The baby was in a car seat however it was her side that we hit on and the Ford Escort we were in just collapsed on her. I was in the back with her with no seatbelt on. I got pretty fucked up but nothing life threatening. She would have been 10 on May the 6th.

Man, I miss my Dad like crazy, however, he DID get to live into his early 70's...............I feel like an ass now for being so selfish.  

Sorry.  Don't have the words except sorry, bro.

vmax84

nothing.

i have had a very easy and priviledged life.

Mom,killed  by a Drunk driver accident the ASSHOLE that murdered her was ejected over 50 ft. and dead as F*uck,,,,I'm glad for that,,,,I still resist desecrating his grave

My introverted personality.  I am still dealing with it. It's a major handicap.

.