I was at Camp Lejune, NC in 97' when Hurricane Danny paid us a visit.  In the middle of the downpour and gusting winds, one marine from the ANGLICO barracks decided it would be an ideal time to test his new invention.  

The invention:

1 skateboard
1 poncho

Rigging the poncho to the skateboard and using himself as a mast to deploy the sail, he began to windsurf the parking lot.  Well, it was working until a 65mph gust got ahold of him and tossed him into a Tahoe.  The imprint he left in the car looked exactly like a Willie Coyote imprint.  Broke every bone in his body, he finished his EAS in the hospital, and added an additional 3 months extra due to his prolonged hospital stay.

I can't think of any one single incident that even remotely compares to this as far as "Not the best idea".  Anybody got anything else?

Too many to list them all but I do remember Klinton visiting an elementry school in SoCal while I was stationed at MCAS Tustin. We were all told to get into the hangers and shut the doors with a warning not to come out of the hanger until the guy left the base. The crewchief of HMX-1 wouldnt even let us near the helicopter and we were all mechs or crew ourselves...what an asshole!

All most forgot...while on Westpac in Somalia we were not allowed to test fire the .50's before feet dry and were not allowed to load ammo unless we were taking fire from Somalies...damn I hate that Klinton.

while Mout training, i was a 60 gunner, and it was in the hours of darkness when we got an ammo resupply. My AG proceeded to load my M60 when i noticed instead of blanks, he was laying Ball ammo into my feedtray!!
somehow some ball ammo had been brought out along with blank ammo, i dont think ball would have worked very well with my BFA attached.
i also had a buddy who broke his leg tipping a coke machine over trying to steal a soda, so he got a field grade, pluss a broken leg, and didnt even get a soda!!
the BN SDNCO found him stuck under the soda machine!!

While in Germany, some guy came out of a bar, and seeing a light beige car which he took to be a taxi (cabs in Germany are ALL the same light beige-as are police cars-read on), got in the back, and demanded to be taken to Pinder Barracks. Well, in his drunken stupor, he failed to notice that besides the light beige paint, this car also had a blue light on top, and a green stripe w/ "POLIZEI" in white letters down the side of the car. When the Cops politely (the Cops are so polite in germany, it's frightening) asked him to un-ass their car, he tried to, but fell down, so they took pity on him, and brought him back to post. As they were trying to help him out of the car, he suddenly realized they were cops, and started yelling (this is when me and my friends arrived on the scene, drunk ourselves) at them that he wasn't paying any fare, that since they were cops, they didn't deserve shit, yadda, yadda, yadda.......dumb MFer.....after begging the cops to not beat the hell out of him (which wasn't all that hard--they thought the whole thing was kind of funny), WE ended up carrying this dumb ass back to his unit.

Two young soldiers robbing a pizza delivery guy .... for the pizza!

Both went to Ft. Leavenworth.


Chris

Having to repaint the whole base inside and out (at least it seemed like it) tan instead of gray because a general was doing a base inspection and tan was his favorite color.  

This one is a must....One of the crewchiefs in my squadron was testing a CH-46E and had missed a pizza party, but because he was working so hard a fellow jarhead saved a few slices for the hardcharger. Although hungry he kept at his duties until he was airborn and thought it might be a good idea to "re-heat" his pizza by setting the box next to the fuel control. Well after a few moments the fine crew gets a fire warning light in the cockpit and as the pilots are going to emergency procedures he runs back and opens the engine bay doors to find his pizza in flames. He tells us that the box hits the deck and the first thing he thinks is "get the fire out of the bird" so as he kicks this flaming pizza out of the back of his helo @ 1500' AGL he notices that after the box leaves is that he is right over the base c.o's house. The sqaudron was never notified of anyone hurt by the flaming pizza.

one was a ssg, a medic, and a pfc dickin around with a law rocket that had been a dud (fired but didn't explode), in GWI. Two were killed, the other was maimed when the got it to go off.

another I only heard about, but didn't see was someone shot a camel with an AT-4 during Desert Shield.

The third was my own doing. They were repainting/insulating the barracks at Bragg, and there was scaffolding around the building. This big assed hurricane comes in, Hugo I believe, so we have a cherry stnd on the top of it, in a poncho, a bunch of chemlights in his k-pot band, and a compass. We told him he had tornado watch. every 1/2 hour or so the cq would go out and yell up to him, inquiring which direction the wind was blowing.

[hijack mode] what was your best cherry story? (ie box of grid squares, chemlight batteries, etc.?) [/hijack mode]

Iraqi truck(full of 122mm arty rounds) + 1 pound of C4= RUN LIKE HELL!

Trying to get 2 scorpions to fight = badly stung finger, which swelled up like a sausage.

MILES gear, 20 round mag's with blank ammo and 30 round ammo with live rounds.

RIP Cpl Russel Smith

2Lt asked me once: "What time is the noon formation going to be?"

you should use a stick or something (cleaning rod, rifle barrel, etc) next time (yes, I realize you'll probably never try it again, but still ...)

I had a friend who was stationed in egypt a few years ago, and he said they'd try to get scorpions and spiders and stuff to fight all the time.  he never mentioned anyone getting hurt by it ...

We used to get the newbies to get us a bucket of rotorwash. My favorite one is the "500 hour inspection", we would have a new guy take oils samples from the aircraft and then ask him to take an jet engine exhaust sample, trick was not to burn the trash bag, then we would send him around trying to turn in the bag of air for samples to be taken.(carefull not to let any exhaust out while showing it to the C.O., X.O. and SGTMAJ.)

These two are tossups:

While at AIT at Goodfellow AFB, in San Angelo, Texas, we had a nice little (large) thunderstorm come through, complete with marble-to golfball sized hail.  Several fellow soldiers and some firedawg Marines (who obviously hadn't seen hail) thought that the falling ice was just like "warm weather snow."  As they went out to play in the hail, it started come down heavier, and all I heard was "OW, SHIT!  OW!"  

The other story:

Right before I ETSd, one of the supply specialists, in order to impress some girl, decided to rob a cabbie.  He and an accomplice held the cabbie at gunpoint demanding money.  The cabbie, seeing what punks these guys were, lunged after the specialist, and proceeded to kick his ass.  He got away, but since he had called the cabbie to where he lived, the police had no trouble finding him.  I think, after spending time in the local jail (no one bailed him out) for a week, he was qickly court martialed and kicked out...within two weeks.  He ended up going to jail.

The last thing was while at DLIFLC, one female jumped out of a male barracks room from the third floor, and broke her leg and hip, just to escape the PSG doing a walkthrough.  Too bad she didn't know how to execute a PLF.

-Zmeja

Our platoon lanes exercise was cancelled in Korea so the BC decided to conduct it around the motor pool and barracks. My squad leader made us pull our Bradley on the front grass in front of our the motor pool fence where we had to erect camo nets and around the vehicle while 1-9 Mechanized Infantry across the street was laughing their asses off at us.

During the "Rifles Rampage" exercise in 1997 at Pinon Canyon Colorado, my ADA platoon was attached to 2 Squadron 3ACR.  One of their Cavalry scouts left his LBE with M-9 holstered pistol on the rear track skirt of his Bradley and rolled off.
The pistol was caught in the tracks and chewed up and spit behind the vehicle. The whole Squadron was at double arm interval for three hours until we found the chewed up pistol at 0100 hours. The scout was at attention for four hours in the TOC until we found the pistol.

While stationed in ROK in 89-90 we had an E-4 supply puke that would not let you order anything unless you told him in writing why you needed it.  I wrote him a letter that explained I outranked him and was the shop chief and if I wanted it, he was supposed to order it. Our Smsgt asked me to write him an apology because, "if we made him mad, he would not give us things". NO Kidding, I called the supply commander and had this loser replaced by the end of the day, our Smsgt was later made the "snackbar NCO" until he retired. A very strange place. Shop chiefs had to be at their desks at 0730 and 1700 for "phone checks" to insure we "worked a full day", we could go to lunch from 1000-1500 everyday though.

We had quite a few, one was we had our own MP's and he decided to clean his weapon, but failed to clear it before hand and in cleaning shot a bullet into the ceiling, needless to say afterward our mudpuppies only got 1 bullet.

Another time when we had to pull guard duty right after the Beirut bombings, we were given 2 rounds for our M-16's and not sure what they let the LS guards at our gate have?

Armorer2111 were you with 2nd SRIG.  I was with 2nd SRIG in 95 when I got out.  At that time Anglico was a part of SRIG but I've heard rumors that all of the SRIG's were were disbanned.  

I don't know when you were there but I saw damn near the same thing! I was station @ Goodbuddy AFB from July 98-Dec 98. Durring a nice little thunderstorm I decided to take in the sights from the balcony (I lived on the 3rd floor facing the gym). Sure enough as soon as the hail started to fall all the jackasses that were acting dumb started the "Ow, SHIT, OOOOOOW, Ouch,Shit, GOD DAMN THAT HURTS...." as they ran for cover. I laughed my ass off.

I didn't go to DLI but a few budies told me of some chick who broke her back after jumping/falling from the 3rd floor. Stupid.
I once had to guard 12 Koreans in an AHA (Ammo Holding Area) with nothing but an M16 and 7 empty mags. They all split up and went different directions. I chased one behind a stack of MRLS only to see that he was working on something in the back. One guy asked my what they were and I just said "I don't know". They had something like "298mm Rockets ..." clearly written on them in English. After I said I don't know hey made hand gestures and used broken English to convey that they went zoom up into the air and went boom. I realized that I really couldn't "watch" all 12 or so of these guys at all so I sat down on the wall, put in a chew and read my book. It turnes out that one of the workers was a KATUSA and was pretty cool. They gave me some ramyen for lunch and we exchanged cigaretts.

That's fucked up.

I have one more for you, hubby might kill me for this one....but here goes. Our unit pulled duty for putting the flag up and down on our casern, keep in mind we're all MI and some of these guys had never been in the boy scouts from what we gathered, a bunch of our 33s's were to hoist the flag etc. they got the flag up the flag pole but it was upside down, did not go over well. We all pulled extra duty for that one.

When we had CQ duty and we'd get a newbie in and they'd come back to the barracks all liquored up we'd tell them they were in the wrong barracks and send them next door to DetA. They'd come back white as a ghost. ( If you're a green beanie you'll understand DetA)

Let's see...
While at BWT at Paige Field, Parris Island, an EOD   officer went out on the grenade range to dispose of a (no so) dud. Had no protective clothing, and PICKED UP THE DAMN THING. Then BOOM.
Of course, the D.I.'s went around for a week talking about how stupid officers were.

Back in 1993, I was working in Phase Crew, and we had a jack and cycle to do.
The rule was that you didn't touch the bird for maintenance without checking with Phase Crew on the phase bird. Well, 2 Avi guys decide to do some work without checking with us, and were in the main landing gear wheel well, hidden by the main strut and tires. I failed to do a walk around before applying external hyd power. Had the other guy select gear up and slowly applied hyd power to bring the gear up slowly. Saw 1 body come flying out of the main wheel well, and another jump fro mthe other side of the bird into view. I got an ass chewing for not doing a walk around, but the Avi shop gt chewed for doing work on the phase bird without checking with us first.


In 1999, we had one of our Cpl's doing a jack and cycle of the landing gear on one of our harriers. Had external electrical and hydraulic power applied. Well, the nose doors wouldn't close, so the Cpl climbs up in the nose wheel well, with hyd power STILL ON, and figures out what the problem is. Needless to say, since he was IN the wheel well, the nose doors CLOSED ON HIM. Lucky for him, the other Marine FINALLY noticed what was going on, and shut down the hyd power. Lucky for him that he didn't get killed.


Had a pilot get his wings pulled for dumping a perfectly good Harrier over the side of a boat.

The games we played with boots:
1. Go to S-1 and get some I d 10 T forms.
2. Go get some pneumatic fluid.
3. Go get a stack of 6015's (the MOS for Power Line) and they would get stacked by Line.

Stationed at a SAC base, there was this cute little (female!) crew chief newly assigned to the squadron.  One day a couple guys sent her to bench stock to get 20 feet of fallopian tube.  Right after she asked for it she realized what she said and turned bright red.  She had a sense of humor about it, though.

HydGuy- I floated with 214 in Operation United Shield, I was flightline HMM-161 but we had lawndarts with us on that float, Id have to get out my float book to see if you ever worked with any of the guys there.    

I was 13B on M109s for a few years (whaddya say!?) and during a live fire exercise in Germany had an interresting experience:

We were in the middle of a fire mission when we got a cease fire.  Helicopters flying through our air space or such we were told.  Pulled the powder charge out of the tube and kicked back as we ended up with about 30 minutes of downtime.  FDC then sent us a fire mission.  Shell HE, Fuse SQ, charge 5 greenbag, blah, blah...

Load the bullet, stick the powder in the chamber and the friggin powder is stickin halfway out.  Look up and the base of the bullet is sitting only half up the chamber.  Pull the hydraulic rammer back out and hit the overhead handle and ram it again.  Look up in there, and it aint budged.  WTF? Hydraulics must be low.  Hit the handle again and let the hydraulics whine for a few seconds before every one of us in the gun had the exact same realization.  We had two rounds in the tube.  

Ooops.  Pulled the second round out and the fuse was smashed all to hell.  Everyone in the gun was white it looked like we had all been rolled in flour.

We forgot that before we got our cease fire that we had a round in the tube and by the time we got another fire mission, nobody remembered it was still sitting up there.

I floated with 263 in '95 with the 24th MEU on the Kersarge, and with 264 in '98 with the 26th MEU.

A C-17 was making a night approach to Baghram AB in Afghanistan.  The pilots were wearing NVGs.  The kicker is that the pilot set the airplane down 2,000 feet short of the runway in a MINEFIELD!  His wheels were only on the ground about 3 seconds before he got it back into the air, but I'm sure that bit will follow him the rest of his days.

The pilot was blaming it on not having depth perception with the NVGs, or something like that.  Uh-yeah-um...  It was the NVGs!  Yeah- that's it!

Honduras 1987. We sign out our weapons for the bus ride from Camp Powderhorn back to Palmarillo air base. One of our M-60 gunners sat down thumping the butt stock of the MG on the floor of the bus and it went off! The round went through the roof of the bus. The troop got powder burns on his hand in the shape of the flash supressor.

AP Hill 1985. We had half a case of grenades go 'dud' on us. EOD calmly walks out, picked up the 'dud', and took it to the end of the range for detonation with some C-4. Once is enough, but they did this at least 15 TIMES!

There is more, but these two stand out.

I had a guy (Pv-2)ask me for Fallopian tubes once. His smart-ass section chief sent him to get them. I was quick. My neighbor off post was an O-2 and a nurse nurse and was a pretty good neighbor. I picked up the phone and called the hospital and as luck would have it, she could sneak off for a bit.

You shoulda seen the look on the E-6s face when good old pvt E-2 whasisname came in with the nurse alongside him.

"Sergeant, I hope you'll be gentle with them, as I've grown quite attached to them."

Talk about an E-6 turning red!

Pulled BN guard duty during basic training with this hooah private and a hard-ass drill. The Drill wanted us to strip, buff, polish, buff, polish the floor all night. He wanted the CSM to be able to see his reflection in the morning.

Well it rained all night, and the private forgot to put back the floor mats in front of the entry doors.

CSM comes in at 0400, La ti da like, takes one step inside and slides all the way across the lobby to the door of his office (directly across from the front doors).

I laughed so damn hard I was crying, and I thought the Drill was going to pop a vein he was so mad. Thank God it was the last week of OSUT, because I didn't get a wink of sleep that week the Drill rode me so hard.

UHLEK reminded me of this one. A female MP I know had her whole platoon shine the floor of their bay with baby oil! It did make the floor shine like a mirror, but it also put BG Hines right on his ass when he came stroling in to perform his inspection. It seems that the soles of the issue combat boots don't slip much, but the leather soles of the one star didn't grip to well. The general had a sence of humor and no one caught too much flack for the incident.

Pony-Rider:  I was there at Goodfellow from Jan-Jun 98.  I was B co, 344th MIBN.

-Zmeja

Heres another, WestPac, USS Essex, Operation United Shield of the coast of Somalia:  Im a young Cpl and have been stiffed into ship store duty (breaking down boxes and stocking shelves on the ships store) but we are short gunners so I am on call for medivac and trap.  Well we had a few Somailies on board with us a linguist(including Adid's son)and these guys would visit the store 2 or 3 times a day-mostly between brwakfast, lunch and dinner. At around 1400 6 of them want in and I tell them that they will have to wait until I have more room in the store. So this asshole tells me "Do you know ho I am" ...Im like what the..., now I tell this guy he had better step off unless he wants a blackeye and he keeps at it until a squid comes by and tells me that they can come in because they are guest.  All I could think was "typical, bullshit rules which overlooked us in uniform" All I can remember is this dude telling me he owned a hair salon in the US and he didnt need to be there. Thats the last Somaili I spoke to.

Last duty night before EOS and assigned to line watch.  There was only one aircraft on the line due to decommissioning.   All of the others were gone and this one was due to leave the next day for the same.  The watch officer came out and recognizing me and knowing it was my last duty night, said he would get this aircraft towed into the hanger and secure me for the night.  Before he could get this done a couple of mechs came out and removed a wheel and screwed it up.  My last duty night was spent guarding one aircraft, without a wheel and due to be decommissioned within the week on a freezing cold winter night.  

The pilot was blaming it on not having depth perception with the NVGs, or something like that. Uh-yeah-um... It was the NVGs! Yeah- that's it!
OK, I can believe that one.  Pulling a field exercise, I was wearing NVG's and had a captain with me without NVG's.  He couldn't see anything and I couldn't tell how far away it was.  Definitely blind leading the blind.  

AIT at Ft. Huachuca finishing morning PT run.  Had a hyper company commander.  He sees a male and female walking down the sidewalk.  The male has his arm around the female.  He stops the formation and hollers at them about PDA (public display of affection)  The guy sounds off that he better back off.  Captain heads over to get into his face.  OOPS.  A major was assisting an injured female to the medical facility which was only another 100 yards away.  

Summer of '86.  7ID recirtification exercise @ hunter ligget cali.  The intel types from my unit went out to play POW and test their POW processing procedures.  One mission, a 2LT has us laying in the middle of a field trying to interrogate us.  (3/4 of us were interrogators)  One of the females states she needs to go to the rest room.  He starts being belligerent.  I point out that according to the geneva conventions...  He definitely didn't like that and smarted off.  So I told him he was a dumbass (I was playing a civilian so no disrespect charges could be filed.  I was playing my part)  He commences to scream at the top of his lungs that he is a LT in the US Army and I can't speak to him that way.  I look at the controller and simply say "Sniper check".  Controller calls the LT killed and his unit applauds me.

Same exercise, different mission.  Play enemy combatant and have several plastic knives from mess hall strategically hidden in my Japanese field uniform (Gift from JGSDF Colonel on previous TDY.  I used it as OPFOR uniform)  Get captured and a cursory search.  Not secured, have 2 guards posted and sitting against tree.  I slide 1 knife out of boot and throw it at one of the guards (both had backs turned)  Controller calls him dead.  Get searched again, they find one knife in each breast pocket and confiscate.  Tie my hands in front of me and set me back down against tree.  I slide another knife out from my other boot and throw it at another guard.  Controller calls him dead.  I get pulled aside and strip searched.  They find 6 more knives strategically hidden in various compartments of my uniform.

1st One was just stupid.  The last 2, if actual combat situations could have gotten someone killed.  I saw a bunch more stupid crap out there like using POW's as shields and rifle supports during a firefight (C company forgot where they were and got into a firefight with B company)  An E6 confusing the unit crest on my Beret as Major rank when I was a SP4.  I just loved messing with the grunts...

Small world eh? A Co 344th. LTC Dalton R. Jones Commanding! CPT Thomas was my Co. CO. B Co was full of interesting people. One of the hottest girls I'd ever seen was in B Co. She dipped Copenhagen and swallowed! I knew then and there that the Army was going to be an interesting place. Ever get to the ROK?

[b]#3[/b] When I was a private there was a  career SP4 who told me I did not know WTF I was doing when I was making a repair and proceeded to drill a hole clean through his hand with a hand drill.

[b]#2[/b] When I was a SGT I saw a guy talking to one of his buddies and absent mindedly tapping a pressure gage for the high volume fire suppression system in the hanger.  This dip shit looked and me and started tapping harder.  Next thing the hanger is wall to wall water and they had a bunch of Snakes with wet avionics.

[b]#1[/b]  When the Fort Hood Female aviator of the year set a Chinook down on a CONNEX and punched a 5 foot hole in the bottom.  (A week later she also jettisoned a door when we were out in the field).

NVG stuff...

I'm not a pilot, nor do I play one in the movies.  I'm fairly familiar with the C-17 and have flown the sim a couple of times.  For a big booger, it's a fairly easy jet to land (I crashed to C-141 sim a few times, but the C-17 is soooooooo easy).  If you can see the runway through the HUD, you can land it.  Input from air data displays, radar altitude, etc. will put you on the numbers.  It's not like landing an airplane on outside visual cues.  The HUD has a predictor symbol that shows where you are going.  Just plant it on the approach end and maintain your glideslope & it will put you on the numbers.

For an airplane without these avionics the depth perception thing can be a challenge.  

How about a guy on parachute recovery detail trying to parasail behind a truck using a 120' rope and a reserve chute? He went up ok and was doing great, but the chute collapsed and the dust from the truck was sooo thick that the driver couldn't see him fall. Yep, he bit the big one and got himself a ride to the morgue.[nono]

Holy shit! That's almost funny, right up until he died. Man people do some dumb shit sometimes. Like the guy who was waiting on a pizza and got into a spitting for distance contest right before he graduated A.I.T. 3 stories later his head made contact with the concrete sidewalk. He was medically retired before they pulled the plug on life support. What a waste of a soldier.

The following is second hand but it has to be told.

A DI at MCRD gets a call from the SgtMaj that Recruit X's mother had just passed away and that he needs to be brought over to battalion. The DI rogered out. Looking at his watch it was close to chow time so he figured he would multi-task. He leans out of the house and yells "Get on the road for chow!" Being good little recruits, they fly out the hatch and form up outside.

The DI walks up and says, "Everyone here who has a mother, raise your hand." The recruits comply. "Recruit X, put your down, your mother just died. RIGHT FACE! FORWARD, MARCH!"

The scuttlebutt goes that he was relieved.

Saw a SSgt put a CDROM in a 5 1/2 inch floppy drive once.

Saw a harrier pilot eject while doing a verticle landing at 50 feet. Chute didnt deploy and he almost landed on his bird.

Saw several guys get alcohol poisoning and die in Haifa during a MEU stop there.

The greatest wisdom was passed on to me by a lance coolie. We may be fucked up, but we still win wars.

And thats all that matters. Killing people and breaking things.

I was with OMC/IW in 97'.  The fate of SRIG is something I can tell you almost nothing about.  To be honest, I'm not even sure if ANGLICO was still around, but the barracks was refered to as the ANGLICO house.  At the time of the incident I was talking about I was living in French Creek, with the rest of OMC.

 

Officer's get a pretty easy ride through EOD school compared to the enlisted.  At least he managed to kill only himself, Dumbass!  Reminds me of a Female Army Capt (EOD) at Yakima Training Center, she can boast of being one of the few people alive who have managed to pick up a Dud LAW rocket and live to tell about.  The Moron picked it up out on a Range Clearance with plenty of personnel around her, she soon found herself alone minus a SFC who told her to [b]gently[/b] place it on the ground!  From there on out, no one wanted to work around her and luckily she (for everyone else' safety) was forced out of the program.

The dumbest thing I ever saw was at Yakima Training Center,  I was on Duty team and we got a response call to go to the field ASP about Hoffman's.  We get there and we see a big crowd of mostly officers (Yes, dumb ones) and a Quasas civilian trying to untangle a Charlie Foxtrot of at least 200 unshunted Hoffmans.  Also this field ASP was well stocked with Land mines, HE Artillery projectiles,etc.  My team leader talks to the Quasas guy and asks "Why are so many people around next to these things", secondly asks "Why the Hell are you not wearing any protective gear like safety glasses and Flak vest", Thirdly "Why the hell were these Hoffman's allowed back next to the ammo".  The Quasas guy, only real answer was these leather gloves will give me some protection.  For those who don't know, a Hoffman is an electrically intiated version of the artillery simulator, and if it blew up in your hands next to your body would blow your limbs off, open your guts open, and probably at a minimum blind you.  With that response, we radioed Range Control and told them that we were leaving as this crew was unsafe (When you see EOD leave due to safety concerns, its BAD). Luckily, none detonated, if they had that field ASP probably would have went up and a bunch of deaths.  

We turned in the Quasas dude's name to the Ft. Lewis Safety officer as a major safety violator, he got REAMED, and reprimanded.  

As Einstien once said, "Intelligence is finite, [b]Stupidity is Infinite!!![/b]

There is one thing that has definitely become abundantly clear bsed on this thread.  Holy shit I don't see how I made it out alive with all these dumbasses in the military!!!!!!  It honestly makes one wonder what the hell we are getting into when someone that stupid is allowed to handle firearms/explosives/vehicles/aircraft.  It truly makes me wonder...

Something dumb I remembered at basic training:

Some fellow private accidentally put floorwax in the then empty CLP bottle (hey, she had to put it in something, right?).  So, at the range, the drill sergeants found out we were putting floorwax on our bolts for qualification.

No malfunctions, but everyone invloved surely felt stupid for not noticing the clean, pine scent!

-Zmeja

While in Bosnia, the commander, 1SG and both SFC's wrote up EVERY Small Arms Bullet (under 20mm) as an explosive ordnance item to pad their awards!  "CPT XXX safely supervised the disposal of over 680,000 explosive ordnance items..."

 I didn't learn though, as I griped & complained to my new head shed in Kosovo.  I thought they might have some INTEGRITY!  But, NO, they did the exact same thing...  Nothing like EXORBITANT "Quantitative Data" to make a smelly turd look shiney!  

Yeah, perception IS reality!  Riiiiiiiiiight!  [pissed]

Edited to correct spelling, DUH!