Oh Good God, this one had me crying I was laughing so hard. Mostly cause I've damn near cried from the same torture before. I feel your pain 'Frige, trust me.
'Bout 15 years ago I decided to lose 20 pounds. Running & SlimFast was the method. SlimFast is a powder that is mixed with milk. You're supposed to drink it in the morning and at lunch and eat a healthy, balanced, low-cal, light, leafy dinner. Well, I had a better idea.
In order to maximize the effect I went 3 days on nothing but Slimfast. Huge mistake. On the fourth day I knew I had a serious problem. On the 5th day there was absolutely no doubt.
Ever try to crap out a concrete golfball? That's pretty much what you get when you mix nothing but sand and milk together. Ain't been right down there since then.
Reno's correct about the cheese. Started a month ago, Screw you Atkins. I swear there's nothing funny 'bout a 'roid if you got one.