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Posted: 5/12/2004 2:44:47 PM EST
[Last Edit: 5/12/2004 2:54:11 PM EST by Kodiak-AK]
What kind of a person has thier five year old daughter say" You have to promise to be nice to my mommy." And "My daddy here is going to be my real daddy soon." to thier father . FUCK!!!!


And this bitch is stupid enough to wonder why I wanted to leave her ass?Our daughter is five , you don't discuss shit like this with a five year old .Frankly we can hate each others guts as much as we want but you don't run down the other parent in front of a child . So much for I would never bad mouth you in front of her.Why would she ask me to promise to be nice to mommy if she hadn't?This whole Mommy always gets custody because they are better movement is such a crock of fucking shit .



I just need to vent here for a bit .


Anybody else hav a ex try to force them to sign adoption papers so the guy she cheated on you with can adopt your kid?
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 2:46:38 PM EST
Breathe deep.

Forget it, she wants you to stew over it, just have a good time with your kid when your with her.


Best Wishes.
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 2:47:23 PM EST
trust me been there before........
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 2:51:42 PM EST
[Last Edit: 5/12/2004 2:52:21 PM EST by Kodiak-AK]

Originally Posted By cyanide:
Breathe deep.

Forget it, she wants you to stew over it, just have a good time with your kid when your with her.


Best Wishes.

That's just it .Today is the first time in two years she even let me talk to her.

Link Posted: 5/12/2004 2:52:36 PM EST
Hang in there, buddy.

You cannot be "forced" to sign any papers. Your daughter is yours.

Don't pay any attention to what her Mom coaches her to say. She's only 5 years old. She doesn't understand what she is doing.

However, remember this. Regardless of what your ex is thinking, your daughter will grow up some day and mature. When she does, she will remember who acted like an ass and who acted kindly.

Never say an unkind thing about your ex to your daughter. Be kind. Love your daughter and make sure she knows that you love her.

Some day, she will remember and you will have a daughter that knows who was right. And she will love you and hold her mother responsible for the hateful things she did.

Trust me on this. Experience is speaking.
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 2:52:58 PM EST
Don't sign shit and lawyer up.
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 2:53:40 PM EST
That's sad. I used to work in a family law court and it never ceased to amaze me at the way the childish parents would bring their kids into the shitstorm.

A. If you think fathers get any justice, you're wrong... and

B. They can't adopt away your child w/o you "terminating" your parental rights in an open court.

If this is ongoing and there are custody orders in place, I would file a contempt action on her.
I'm no lawyer but have seen so much of that shit in my tenure.

Good luck.
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 2:56:21 PM EST

Originally Posted By Old_Painless:
Hang in there, buddy.

You cannot be "forced" to sign any papers. Your daughter is yours.

Don't pay any attention to what her Mom coaches her to say. She's only 5 years old. She doesn't understand what she is doing.

However, remember this. Regardless of what your ex is thinking, your daughter will grow up some day and mature. When she does, she will remember who acted like an ass and who acted kindly.

Never say an unkind thing about your ex to your daughter. Be kind. Love your daughter and make sure she knows that you love her.

Some day, she will remember and you will have a daughter that knows who was right. And she will love you and hold her mother responsible for the hateful things she did.

Trust me on this. Experience is speaking.

It is so hard to bite your tounge. But I know saying anything isn't good for our daughter . 13 years . That is all I have to ride out and I can try to make things as right as I can .
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 2:58:56 PM EST
SOunds like why my Wife did not have her original last name when I met her, her father caught her mother with the Mother's new husband.......

Your daughter will remember your good actions in the future......
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 3:01:34 PM EST
You just be a good father and do all you can to assist your daughter. When she grows up she'll figure out your ex-wife is wrong about you. And if the new guy gets in the way stomp his ass.
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 3:08:47 PM EST
Seen this many times in life and went through it as a child myself for a short time. The one thing I have learned from it all is children have minds and will formulate their own opinion with time.

Sadly they typically blame themselves but when they figure out it was no ones fault really they also sadly will hold lies against the parent who lied for years.

Hold the high moral ground pal!

Tj
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 3:13:57 PM EST
My step was convinced to sign such paperes based on what his 2 kids doctor told him. He lost his chance to have anyinput in thier lives, & I remember him sad, & crying many times over the years for having signed. Don't do it. Ever, for any reason. Keep your kids your kids. You will regret it if you sign. Just ask my step dad.
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 3:24:14 PM EST
You should play "Hide-the-Salami" every now and then like me and my Ex
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 4:28:16 PM EST
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 11:41:20 PM EST
[Last Edit: 5/13/2004 1:24:14 AM EST by Kodiak-AK]

Originally Posted By BigJohnStacey:
You should play "Hide-the-Salami" every now and then like me and my Ex

No way . I do not wat to catch any more diseses from her . Besideds I now have a very understanding and loveing woman in my life .
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 12:04:08 AM EST
Dr. Phil had a show today about nightmare divorces.

He said that when one parent uses the kids as a tool for revenge against the other parent, it ultimately backfires. When the kid grows up to the age when he realizes how he was used, there is great hatred for the badmouthing parent.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 12:46:44 AM EST

Originally Posted By Imbroglio:
Dr. Phil had a show today about nightmare divorces.

He said that when one parent uses the kids as a tool for revenge against the other parent, it ultimately backfires. When the kid grows up to the age when he realizes how he was used, there is great hatred for the badmouthing parent.



OMFG....you watch Dr. Phil. You might wanna check your pants for a missing penis.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 1:11:09 AM EST

Originally Posted By Imbroglio:
Dr. Phil had a show today about nightmare divorces.

He said that when one parent uses the kids as a tool for revenge against the other parent, it ultimately backfires. When the kid grows up to the age when he realizes how he was used, there is great hatred for the badmouthing parent.


I agree with that . That is why I bite my tounge , but it is hard to do som times .
Honestly the best revenge is served 18 years cold .
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 1:17:05 AM EST
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 1:23:28 AM EST

Originally Posted By Naked80:
Next time BRING THE TAPE RECORDER! Use it against the bitch in court.


I did that before we where divorced . I even had her concent . She got royally pissed when she lied to the judge and I had my lawyer play the tape for him . (Oops) She doesn't concent anymore and I can't legaly do it now .
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 1:27:26 AM EST
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 1:39:03 AM EST
When my parents divorced my Mom tried to turn me & my brothers against our Dad. It had the totally opposite effect.

I adopted my elder daughter (from my wife's first marriage) when she was about 3-1/2. When she was in her teens she learned of him. She wanted to find him and after she turned 18 she tracked him down and met him. The point here is that she never knew him, yet felt a need to find him. I say that to tell you that you will always be her Daddy.

How could she legally keep her from you for two years? It sounds like a little legal counsel may be in order.

Calm down, think rationally. You have to be in this for the long haul. Don't react emotionally to your ex's provocation. Be in control. And don't make the biggest mistake you'll ever regret.

It's a very pathetic person who uses a child to beat up a former spouse. Be bigger than that. Don't let her call the shots. Also, take advantage of every opportunity in every moment to bond with your daughter. That doesn't mean spoiling her rotten, because that will create problems of its own, but be her Daddy. Give her the hugs she needs, play with her, listen to her.

I hope this helps.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 1:55:41 AM EST
[Last Edit: 5/13/2004 1:56:28 AM EST by Aimless]
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 6:36:47 AM EST
[Last Edit: 5/13/2004 6:40:13 AM EST by u-baddog]
My parents divorce when I was 5. She had way too many mental problems for him to deal with so he split. Mom was in and out of the hospital a few times so there is not doubt she was not right. She would bad mouth my dad on rare occasions , late with the $25.00 aweek child support. Thats about it.
Well I didnt give her talk much weight so I still thought dad was A ok. As I got older I saw he didnt fight to help us and that soured me on him. Your action have alot more to do with how your daughter feels about you than what your Ex says. Two years is along time.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 7:30:56 AM EST

Originally Posted By Aimless:

Originally Posted By Kodiak-AK:
That's just it .Today is the first time in two years she even let me talk to her.


Two years? Don't you have a court ordered visitation schedule? Can't you either apply to the Court for visitation every other weekend at least? Then if she does not comply file a violation petition

Here are the forms, took me 12 seconds to find them with google

www.state.ak.us/courts/forms.htm

It is a real long story as to what all happened , but I will keep it short and as polite as I can here .

Last I knew she was still active duty . We had a very messy divorce.Nobody was faithful in the end , and we where both preaty emotionally abusive to each other for awhile .She had friends in Mill Pol and as it stands I am lucky to even have RKBA now .What realy irks me is I never laid a hand on her even when she kicked my mother down a flight of stairs and I kept my mouth shut to "protect her carear."
She transfered out as soon as the divorce was finalised after she sold off and shipped out everything of mine that she could before fileing .I got a phone number a month or so later , and a P.O. Box address.I tried to call a few times , and then the number said it was disconected . About a month ago she calls up and says she married one of the guys she cheated on me with and they have a kid now so I need to let him adopt our daughter so they can be a family .

That is the short version.

Honestly I could be happy never haveing to talk to my ex again.She is a scum bag and I don't need that shit in my life anymore . I bite my tounge and don't say that because it won't help our daughter any.The entire divorce was do this and I will let her see you . She never came through after I did some of the things she wanted and I wised up and don't fall for the crap anymore .After talking to my ex a few times about this it reads as "Do as I say or else." I have to admit at times it seems it would be easier to just say fine to not have to deal with her crap .But I don't think it is the right choice to make for our daughter .I know very little about this guy . In fact all I realy know about him is that she has slept with him through out all of her major relationships .I don't feel comfortable signing over our child to someone I don't even know .That's about all I can type about it right now .
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 7:41:11 AM EST
i say kill her and toss her body in the river.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 8:07:46 AM EST

Originally Posted By nick13:
i say kill her and toss her body in the river.

No thanx.She isn't worth the effort .Besideds . It doesn't realy solve anything.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 8:24:54 AM EST
A different knd of divorce story:

My mom divorced my natural father when I was five. She re-married about a year later and her new husband adopted my brother and me. That was 34 years ago. The best thing my natural father did was to walk away. I harbor no ill will towards him. I have no burning desire to find him. I only think about him when I have to fill out a medical history questionaire. If I meet him one day, I'll probably thank him for staying away.

I hate to think about how screwed up my life would have been if I had had to deal with the "two dads" (where am I going to stay this week?) bull shit that other kids with divorced parents have to deal with.

But then again, I consider myself to be lucky. My "new" dad took us in and made us his own. There was never any doubt that he was my dad, even though my brother and I knew from the get go that he had adopted us. Even during my "disgruntled teenager" years, I never considered pulling the "your not my real dad" crap.

Link Posted: 5/13/2004 8:27:42 AM EST
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 8:48:47 AM EST

Originally Posted By swingset:

Originally Posted By Imbroglio:
Dr. Phil had a show today about nightmare divorces.

He said that when one parent uses the kids as a tool for revenge against the other parent, it ultimately backfires. When the kid grows up to the age when he realizes how he was used, there is great hatred for the badmouthing parent.



OMFG....you watch Dr. Phil. You might wanna check your pants for a missing penis.



Have you ever seen the show? I doubt it.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 9:02:15 AM EST
What a f*cked up situation.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 9:20:23 AM EST

Originally Posted By Old_Painless:
Hang in there, buddy.

You cannot be "forced" to sign any papers. Your daughter is yours.

Don't pay any attention to what her Mom coaches her to say. She's only 5 years old. She doesn't understand what she is doing.

However, remember this. Regardless of what your ex is thinking, your daughter will grow up some day and mature. When she does, she will remember who acted like an ass and who acted kindly.

Never say an unkind thing about your ex to your daughter. Be kind. Love your daughter and make sure she knows that you love her.

Some day, she will remember and you will have a daughter that knows who was right. And she will love you and hold her mother responsible for the hateful things she did.

Trust me on this. Experience is speaking.



This bears repeating.

Been there, got the T-shirt.

Hang tough buddy.
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