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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 5/20/2003 7:49:13 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/21/2003 1:10:31 PM EDT by Valkyrie]
Went to pick up my daughter to go to the State Fair. Mom's asshole drug addict, drunken boyfriend starts running his mouth. Takes a couple of swings at me. I tagged him back but I figured a streetfight on a non-custodial day, at her house wasn't in my best interest not to mention the legal and criminal problems it would raise. So I walked away and filed a police report. My daughter was privy to all of this. I'm devistated. I just got in from an emergency meeting with an attorney. I feel drained. It has been 7 years with this woman and it gets worse every day. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing my daughter is lost without me. I am initiating a full custody battle. Tomorrow I am having the attorney supeona all the police records of this incident and the past domestic violence reports as well as the reports from Phila. child abuse agency that I and the neighbors have filed. I will be visiting the school, doctor, and dentist of my daughter to get all her records. Mom is refusing to give me my ordered custody now so I guess I won't see my daughter until I get all this together which the attorney said will be a cpourt date no earlier than September. I can't imagine how my little one feels right now. She sees this guy beat her mom, now fighting with me. She had her heart set on the State Fair and we had a vaction trip planned for this weekend to a family reunion, pony rides etc. There is no justice in the world. I pay support, never late. I follow all the rules, clean cut, straight shooter, good ghead on my shoulders and I get shit on at every turn. Fucking bitch mother is gonna be sorry when I'm done with these legal proceedings. I don't care if I have to sell a fucking Kidney to get the money.
Link Posted: 5/20/2003 8:06:03 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/20/2003 8:08:11 PM EDT by TheKill]
You and your daughter will be in my prayers my friend. It sure does seem like nice guys finish last, doesn't it? Way to go, showing the restraint you did BTW. To get swung at, start defending yourself, and then back down is damn hard! You just proved yourself the better man. Now go get the best lawyer you can find and make it stick in the courtroom!
Link Posted: 5/20/2003 8:54:21 PM EDT
thx
Link Posted: 5/20/2003 9:19:56 PM EDT
If I'm reading your post correctly, your ex-wife is failing to follow a court order by denying you custody of your daughter. Is that right? September court date my ass!! Contact the judge who presided over the custody hearing and tell him/her what's going on. A contempt of court charge and maybe a few days in jail might change your ex-wife's tune. Good luck to you, Valkyrie
Link Posted: 5/20/2003 9:20:01 PM EDT
Originally Posted By TheKill: You and your daughter will be in my prayers my friend. It sure does seem like nice guys finish last, doesn't it? Way to go, showing the restraint you did BTW. To get swung at, start defending yourself, and then back down is damn hard! You just proved yourself the better man. Now go get the best lawyer you can find and make it stick in the courtroom!
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what he said.
Link Posted: 5/20/2003 9:31:15 PM EDT
Don't forget to drag the boyfriend's history into the custody fight. From your few descriptive words, chances are he has a police record. Drag that into the fight, and the police records of any other former 'Uncles'. Get all your records in order, get all the dirt you can, and hammer the shit out of the system. Hope your State isn't one of the ones that sides with the mother 95% of the time.
Link Posted: 5/20/2003 9:33:01 PM EDT
Thanx guys really! I feel like a shit for backing down but I have too much to loose even in my humble little life. Military career, guns, CUSTODY, are all too important to cast off over a looser punk. I did for one second consider taking his head off. I swept his left leg and he immediatly started favoring his other and I thought for a split second of smacking his temple in with a good hammer fist but I stepped back instead of forward. It was a classic set up. Dumb fuck had no idea how close he was to getting his lights put out. Oh well glad nobody got hurt. I'm a good fighter but I abhore that shit. Plus my kid doesn't need to be privy to any of that.
Link Posted: 5/20/2003 9:44:11 PM EDT
Can you prove he's a drug user? Filling a police report was perhaps the smartest move you could have made, consider it check mate. The courts will not allow your daughter to be raised in a hostile environment. Soon enough youll be bringing your baby home my man.
Link Posted: 5/20/2003 9:58:58 PM EDT
Well aside from he doing it on the steps outside, and my daughter telling me last week he burns something in the kitchen that smells real bad. He says he's cooking but she said he throws the food in the trash because he burned it. Kid talk for getting high and making the odor out to be something else. I have many police reports. I'll be getting all of them soon. I am so heartbroken over all of this. I am gonna call the base JAG office tomorrow to see what they can help me with. Here's some background. Mother also has a 17 month old girl, and is pregnant with another(boy) due in August. One bedroom row-home, no job, no income except the support I pay her, sells her food stamps, boyfriend beats her, he's drunk and high constantly, refused me to see my kid many times(all reported to police), threatening messages on my home phone(also police reported), Dept. Human Services have recieved several complaints from neighbors as well as myself, Daughter missed school because of domestic disturbances between mom and boyfriend(documented), much much more. Had here Christened without my knowledege or consent, enrolled her in school with out my consent, currently trying to pull her out of the school to another without my consent, told my wife several times she and I were sleeping together to cause me grief, accused my sister and myself of child molestation for taking video of my daughter getting a bubble bath and playing with her tub toys, berates my kid, runs me down to her, doesn't clothe her, bathe her, feed her well, tells my kid she doesn't love her as much as her sister, tells her she's ugly when she cries for falling down etc. Need I go on?
Link Posted: 5/20/2003 10:12:38 PM EDT
WOW!! Think I'll go hug my wife. Sgtar15
Link Posted: 5/20/2003 10:14:48 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Valkyrie: Need I go on?
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No. No kid should be put in that position. Good luck. Hope it all works out.
Link Posted: 5/20/2003 10:23:13 PM EDT
You did the right thing with the BF. Regardless of how bad you wanted to kick his ass, you did exactly what you should have. Go back to court with a pit bull lawyer who understands that you are going for blood, and make BF & your ex look like POS in front of the judge. He had nothing to lose today by getting in a brawl, you did. Don't give up, don't let your lawyer give up. Keep after custody, assuming you want to get your daughter back, and document everything she does and everytime she tries to screw you over. Sic Social Services on her, talk to the local police about the BF, do anything you can to make them sweat in court. Eventually even judges will see the light if you keep shining it in their eyes. But to get the child away from her you will have to be squeaky clean in the court's eyes. The last thing you need is an assault charge.... Good luck to you......
Link Posted: 5/20/2003 10:27:01 PM EDT
That's what I was thinkng as all of this transpired. Well I guess I'm on the night shift tonight as sleep isn't coming. I rand a couple of miles and it helped releieve some stress but I still can't sleep.
Link Posted: 5/20/2003 10:29:57 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/20/2003 10:32:27 PM EDT by Balzac72]
Here's a solution for her not allowing your visitation....DON'T PAY THE CHILD SUPPORT. Whats your bet that the money is worth more to her than pissing you off? Women are easily bought, talk to your lawyer about it.
Link Posted: 5/20/2003 10:34:56 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Balzac72: Here's a solution for her not allowing your visitation....DON'T PAY THE CHILD SUPPORT. Whats your bet that the money is worth more to her than pissing you off? Women are easily bought, talk to your lawyer about it.
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No. You want to be squeaky clean when this goes to court.
Link Posted: 5/20/2003 10:43:03 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Balzac72: Here's a solution for her not allowing your visitation....DON'T PAY THE CHILD SUPPORT. Whats your bet that the money is worth more to her than pissing you off? Women are easily bought, talk to your lawyer about it.
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As much as you would like to do this, don't!!! The order by the court to pay child support is directed to you, for the benefit of your child. If you deliberately violate the order, you will cause yourself great harm in court. You need to be totally clean to ask the court for help, and cutting off child support will only hurt you in the long run. If the judge sees this as a pissing contest between parents, using the child as a weapon, neither one of you will win in the long run. Document everything, go back to court as a shining knight, prove to the judge that you have gone above & beyond to try to do what is best for your child, and you'll have a much stronger position in the eyes of the law. Get witnesses when she refuses custody, talk to your daughter's teachers, do everything you can to obtain proof that your ex is an unfit parent. But above all, don't do anything that will help her claim that YOU are unfit.....
Link Posted: 5/20/2003 10:45:07 PM EDT
omg...hang in there man. You could turn your life into a movie someday...hmmm Why not make a "documentary" film on DV then sell it to cover your atty costs, Now that would be awesome! Seize the moment
Link Posted: 5/20/2003 11:01:14 PM EDT
I have no intentions of suspending her support. It is garnished from my wages by court order and my UC benefits so even if I wanted to I couldn't. The lawyer advised that I will be subjected to lots of emotional stress over this and he wanted me to understand that I have to be committed to a long term endeavor to gain full custody, which he said I can do if what I describe is true and it is. So right now all I can do is focus on becoming better at everything I do. Not only do I have to appear to be a shining knight, I indeed need to be that good. Mothers in the eyes of the system are the best option even when better options are evident.
Link Posted: 5/20/2003 11:20:36 PM EDT
I remember you posting another incident some time back. My thoughts are with you and your daughter. I'm glad you didn't kick the guy's ass, that would have been "domestic violence" and would have gone against you. Follow NCCop's advice and that of your attorney. You'll come out on top. Keep up the fight and remember you have guys here who care. TS
Link Posted: 5/20/2003 11:24:27 PM EDT
Yeah this is another incident in a long line of problems. It is just getting worse as time goes on and I can't leave her there any longer. The whole situation is FUBAR and I realize that it has to be changed. My little girl depends on me to take care of her and I will. She's the center of my universe.
Link Posted: 5/20/2003 11:28:17 PM EDT
Good luck man, I hope you save your daughter from them before it's too late. All I can say is do whatever it takes.
Link Posted: 5/20/2003 11:46:38 PM EDT
Hang in there, my friend. Just keep thinking that what you are having to deal with is for your daughter, and you'll make it. If I can be of any help, IM me anytime....
Link Posted: 5/21/2003 12:18:44 AM EDT
Hang in there big guy, our thoughts and prayers are with you. Had a couple of friends who had to deal with bitches from hell that rolled off the same assembly line. Good advice is to document EVERYTHING...make a paper trail of all the conversations, notes, phone calls, police reports,children's svs,support payments...all of it. Have pics / medical records for any unusual bruising or injuries your daughter might have, and momma's explanation. Note conversations with your daughter about her daily routine, what she had to eat; clothing;homework,etc. You'll need all of this for the courts and if you have to switch lawyers too...both friends had to go thru about 3 attys each to find one willing to get off their ass and go to bat for them. Even if you don't win full custody, your efforts will probably make home-life at momma's a bit more bearable for your daughter. If this is a live-in boyfriend, that's usually a Major no-no even for mother-friendly courts. Don't know how old your daughter is but in some states the courts will allow the child to decide where they want to live at 11-12 yrs old. You may have a local chapter of Dads Against Discrimination in your area, they might be of some help. They help divorced dads with advice,support group, general info (scoop on judges & attys), etc. So Chin Up, Bud....you're still Superman to that little girl. And you probably got 10ft. taller after you popped that POS boyfriend.
Link Posted: 5/21/2003 11:46:59 AM EDT
You are a great dad. Good luck
Link Posted: 5/21/2003 11:57:01 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/21/2003 11:57:36 AM EDT
Thanx again all!
Link Posted: 5/21/2003 12:07:08 PM EDT
Valkyrie, Sorry about your problems. I hope everything works out for you and your kid. You did well not dropping that shit bag. Good luck. BTW, I'm in Philly too.
Link Posted: 5/21/2003 12:08:44 PM EDT
"He conquers who endures" -Persius It took alot of character not to beat the shit out of that punk, man- one day you'll look back and be glad you didn't make the situation alot more fucked up than it is now. Stay strong, Valkyrie. I'll be prayin for you, your daughter and your situation.
Link Posted: 5/21/2003 12:40:59 PM EDT
whats the guys name again? sure be damn shame if us errr.. I mean if he fell down some stairs. j/k This sucks, but like everyone here said your heart is in the right place and you got 10 ft taller in everyone else eyes when you popped him, but still backed down, I would've been picking molars out of my hands for weeks.
Link Posted: 5/21/2003 1:07:36 PM EDT
Keep your chin up V, you did the right thing. Prayers sent for you and your daughter.
Link Posted: 5/21/2003 1:09:53 PM EDT
So the ex calls my wife and tries to be all friendly etc. Wants to be friends with her but not me. She is trying to play my wife because she mentioned the custody stuff. I know she's thinking she can get my wife to have be back off the issue. She cracks me up she says she's a fit mom because there is food in the fridge all the time. What a fucking brainless twat!
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