User Panel
Posted: 9/7/2010 1:12:38 PM EDT
I'm 32. Right in the middle, I guess. I look back at my life and through all the good and bad, there's quite a lot I'd like to be able to take back, to do over. Maybe I spend too much time worrying, thinking over the mistakes. Maybe it's part of getting older? I don't know.
My top 3, off the top of my head - 1) The girl I left 6 years ago. I should have seen then what I can see so clearly now. 2) I never joined the .mil. My mother said she wouldn't have it, and I foolishly listened. My life would be completely different now, and I believe much better, now if I had gone with my gut. 3) Wild youth. I drank, fought, and fucked my way through most of my 20's. I severed a lot of friendships because I couldn't hold my booze, check my temper, or keep my dick in my pants. Good people who I wish I had around now. It just seems the older I get, the less I live and the more I regret. Maybe I'm stuck in a rut. I don't know. And I'm posting in GD. Dear God. Anyhow... Anyone else? Regrets? Advice? Is this normal?? |
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I regret not having a better, more assertive plan for myself earlier in life.
I was content to roll with the changes, not MAKE the changes. |
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Quoted:
never got a chance to smoke weed with tupac beat me to it! |
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I regret being an apathetic shithead in high school, in particular, about physics and towards my teacher. I was too busy chasing ass (and not catching it ) to make use of the opportunities I was given.
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Quoted: I regret not having a better, more assertive plan for myself earlier in life. I was content to roll with the changes, not MAKE the changes. Me too, man. I honestly grew up with the mentality that "Shit will work itself out".. Boy was I off. |
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You woke up just 2 years later than I did...its still not too late.
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Thinking about that shit is a waste of time. You can't change it, might as well concentrate on changing the future. I really like these quotes from the book "No Country for Old Men"
"You think when you wake up in the mornin yesterday don't count. But yesterday is all that does count. What else is there? Your life is made out of the days it’s made out of. Nothin else." "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from." You can't look at all the "what ifs", because there is no way to know what else would have changed in your life. For all you know you could have died in a car wreck at age 20 if you didn't chose the path you did. Also, 32 is not old. I work with people who've had the same job longer than that.
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A lot of stuff but it wont do me any good. I just try and do better going forward.
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Too much
Bully in school. My x wife. Not going to medical school. Joining the Army instead of the Air Force. Not slapping the piss out of a whole list of fuckers before personal injury lawyers started taking on those cases Long list no time. |
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I honestly don't regret many things.
Maybe some unkind words that I spoke. Not having one more chance to hug dad's neck and tell him I loved him while he was still alive. |
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Not studying harder at USNA.
Marrying my first wife. Having had kids with my first wife. |
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Quoted: Thinking about that shit is a waste of time. You can't change it, might as well concentrate on changing the future. I really like these quotes from the book "No Country for Old Men" "You think when you wake up in the mornin yesterday don't count. But yesterday is all that does count. What else is there? Your life is made out of the days it’s made out of. Nothin else." "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from." You can't look at all the "what ifs", because there is no way to know what else would have changed in your life. For all you know you could have died in a car wreck at age 20 if you didn't chose the path you did. Also, 32 is not old. I work with people who've had the same job longer than that. Good stuff. Thanks. |
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not banging one chick and going out with another. spending too much time at church.
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Marriage. Should have never done it with the person I did. All the signs were there from the start, I didn't heed them.
Last serious relationship. I either needed to pull the plug earlier or make a bigger effort to make it work. She was a perfect fit for me in almost every way but we had some "fracture point" issues that ended up dooming it. Not joining the .mil. Dad was career Navy, Vietnam was just ending and he told me NFW that I'd enlist. There's a few other big "fork in the road" things for me as well. I'm 52. |
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Quoted:
Exactly the same for me. I also wish I had not become involved in the activities that caused my ongoing relationship with the judicial branch.
I regret not having a better, more assertive plan for myself earlier in life. I was content to roll with the changes, not MAKE the changes. |
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Not buying a few-hundred pounds of Silver when it was $3.00 an ounce... (it's around $19.00 now)
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Losing my temper at the ex's drunk son a year ago. Cost me a 10 year relationship.
Like you I never joined the military either. Not drinking, fighting, and fucking my way through my 20's........Mr. Straight Arrow here. Pav |
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1) Not going into the Military after Highschool (but would have never met my wife in college and had our two daughters who are the center of my universe)
2) Not having a better relationship with my Dad. He called one day and I told my wife to tell him I was not home, he was dead 2 days later. J- |
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Joined the Coast Guard instead of the Army for a girl.
The girl and I split after basic. Two big regrets. |
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Quoted: I'm 52. Wow, I never would have guessed that. Seriously. Just based on the "hipness" of stuff you post, I figured you were in your mid-30's. |
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1.) Leaving school after two years to go serve as a mormon missionary. Biggest waste of time and my money IMO. Still haven't gone back to school but I am enrolling this coming semester.
2.) Not serving in the military either right after school or in a ROTC program. 3.) Getting fat after high school/college, I'm 26 now. I lost all the weight and live very healthy but stretch marks are a motherfucker 4.) Not spending more money on guns and more ammo 5.) Not applying to be CHP years ago when I should have, those guys make $$$ |
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I'm fifty three. I regret lots of shit but I don't dwell on it. Life only goes in one direction.Make the best of it.
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I wish I'd eaten breakfast this morning, I'm fucking hungry.
Honestly, no real serious regrets. I'm young, though. I still have time to fuck it up |
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Quoted:
I regret not having a better, more assertive plan for myself earlier in life. I was content to roll with the changes, not MAKE the changes. well said for both of us |
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Going to college.
Going to law school. Listening to others about what I should do with my life to be happy. |
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You can still join the military at age 32. I knew plenty of people in OCS who were around that age. If you want to find out what its like sign the papers and make it happen. I don't know if I'll stay in, but I'm glad I'm giving it a try.
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Not buying that RDIAS with a host and other 4 uppers for $3500 back in 1993.
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Quoted: I wish I'd eaten breakfast this morning, I'm fucking hungry. Honestly, no real serious regrets. I'm young, though. I still have time to fuck it up And you will. There is no escape. |
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regret not joing the marine corp when i was 17 and was all ready
to sign my name on the dotted line. her name was Ginger and she was a red head........ |
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Quoted: Nothing. Oh, and dwelling on the past is a waste of time. I'm not trying to start anything, bu I was looking for this exact answer of "nothing". The people who usually say "nothing" to this question are usually sociopaths, manipulators and/or narcissistic....or at the minimum, in denial about something. People with a healthy conscious ALWAYS have some sort of regret, big or small. Check out this video...this woman is typical of the "no regrets" crowd. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=196yY9hnuXU I find it funny that you think people who are content with their life must be disturbed or deceiving themselves. Anyways, are there things that I could have done differently with a positive outcome? Probably. Do I sit here and feel a great deal of sorrow for not doing them or waste my time trying to figure out what they are? Nope. It is a waste of the limited time I have to dwell on the past. I can not undo it. Mistakes that are made are learned from so as to not repeat them, but I do not waste my time with "what if?". If I spent my time thinking about the past, I would miss planning the present and future. Living life with regrets about stupid shit is like driving a car while staring in the rear view mirror. You can't see what is in front of you and you are bound to crash eventually. ETA: Watched some of the video. That is not even close to who I am, but I know that doesn't mean anything through the internet. |
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Quoted: You can still join the military at age 32. I knew plenty of people in OCS who were around that age. If you want to find out what its like sign the papers and make it happen. I don't know if I'll stay in, but I'm glad I'm giving it a try. Believe me, I'd LOVE to. I have tattoos past my wrists, and was told it was verboten. Funny story, a white van full of Marines pulled a U-turn on me about a year or so ago. It was an unmarked vehicle and I thought I was looking at an asskicking from the way they'd clocked me going past. Anyhow, they just asked if I'd served or was interested in serving, and we got to the talking. They said I might qualify for National Guard, but I never followed up on it. |
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I wish I would have gone into the military right after high school. (2008) But I'm changing that and leave for Great Lakes RTC next February.
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Quoted: Nothing. Oh, and dwelling on the past is a waste of time. I'm not trying to start anything, bu I was looking for this exact answer of "nothing". The people who usually say "nothing" to this question are usually sociopaths, manipulators and/or narcissistic....or at the minimum, in denial about something. People with a healthy conscious ALWAYS have some sort of regret, big or small. Check out this video...this woman is typical of the "no regrets" crowd. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=196yY9hnuXU |
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Quoted:
Quoted:
Nothing. Oh, and dwelling on the past is a waste of time. I'm not trying to start anything, bu I was looking for this exact answer of "nothing". The people who usually say "nothing" to this question are usually sociopaths, manipulators and/or narcissistic....or at the minimum, in denial about something. People with a healthy conscious ALWAYS have some sort of regret, big or small. Check out this video...this woman is typical of the "no regrets" crowd. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=196yY9hnuXU I find it funny that you think people who are content with their life must be disturbed or deceiving themselves. Anyways, are there things that I could have done differently with a positive outcome? Probably. Do I sit here and feel a great deal of sorrow for not doing them or waste my time trying to figure out what they are? Nope. It is a waste of the limited time I have to dwell on the past. I can not undo it. Mistakes that are made are learned from so as to not repeat them, but I do not waste my time with "what if?". If I spent my time thinking about the past, I would miss planning the present and future. Living life with regrets about stupid shit is like driving a car while staring in the rear view mirror. You can't see what is in front of you and you are bound to crash eventually. The mistakes I made contributed to who I am today. A reasonably happy guy, with a family that I love. Who is to say that one of those "better choices" might not have negatively affected what I have now. I think people who dwell on the past are some of the most miserable folks I know. JMO |
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I'm fifty three. I regret lots of shit but I don't dwell on it. Life only goes in one direction.Make the best of it. I am 45 and feel the same way. Looking back and regretting this or that is a waste of time. The best use of time is to look forward and working out ways to make the best of what is left. A few of you though seem to be in desperate need of a little humility so you can go an apologize to those you have burned the bridge with. We have a unique ability and desire to accept someone's apology if it is honest and heartfelt. OP you said you pissed off people you wish you had around now... Well change that STAT. This way you can say something you used to regret turn in to a benefit for you. Oh wait I do have 2 I can share. I passed up an opportunity to dump 100K in to Google's IPO. the only reason I didn't is because I knew the guy at the firm handling the IPO and I knew he was a coke hound. I didn't feel comfortable handing over 100K to him. but I wish I had. I also wish not investing in it the other 10 times that I should have gotten in. The other is I was given the opportunity to leave PayPal with the two guys that created youtube. I coulda been there!!!! |
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Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Nothing. Oh, and dwelling on the past is a waste of time. I'm not trying to start anything, bu I was looking for this exact answer of "nothing". The people who usually say "nothing" to this question are usually sociopaths, manipulators and/or narcissistic....or at the minimum, in denial about something. People with a healthy conscious ALWAYS have some sort of regret, big or small. Check out this video...this woman is typical of the "no regrets" crowd. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=196yY9hnuXU I find it funny that you think people who are content with their life must be disturbed or deceiving themselves. Anyways, are there things that I could have done differently with a positive outcome? Probably. Do I sit here and feel a great deal of sorrow for not doing them or waste my time trying to figure out what they are? Nope. It is a waste of the limited time I have to dwell on the past. I can not undo it. Mistakes that are made are learned from so as to not repeat them, but I do not waste my time with "what if?". If I spent my time thinking about the past, I would miss planning the present and future. Living life with regrets about stupid shit is like driving a car while staring in the rear view mirror. You can't see what is in front of you and you are bound to crash eventually. The mistakes I made contributed to who I am today. A reasonably happy guy, with a family that I love. Who is to say that one of those "better choices" might not have negatively affected what I have now. I think people who dwell on the past are some of the most miserable folks I know. JMO This is exactly how I feel. I am prefectly happy with who I am and where I am today because I got myself here by the decision I made. I think having lots of regrets is a symptom of dissatisfaction with where you currently are in life. Living in the past and saying "I should have done x instead of y" does absolutely nothing to change your current situation and is self-destructive behavior. |
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Boy is that the truth!...I regret not leaving a job I hated in 1998...I stayed there until 2007 thinking it would get better...it only got worse.
Nothing. Oh, and dwelling on the past is a waste of time. |
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I had a free ride to the Naval Academy. Partied my college days away instead, and have been on a steep uphill climb to success ever since.
Had I graduated as a officer and made a career of it (I think I would have enjoyed submarine life, and it would have been a good fit for me,) I could probably be retired by now. |
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