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Posted: 3/30/2006 10:27:41 AM EDT
What do you do when your mother insults your spouse behind his/her back?
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 10:29:48 AM EDT
Draw down?

Link Posted: 3/30/2006 10:30:20 AM EDT

Originally Posted By m_jacobs_wife:
What do you do when your mother insults your spouse behind his/her back?



You have a moral obligation to stand up for your spouse however you shouldn't tell your spouse what your mother said.

Patty
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 10:32:15 AM EDT
did she begin or end the insult by saying "bless her heart"?
like bless her heart your wife is as sharp as a sack of wet mice or

if so there is not much you can do.
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 10:33:43 AM EDT
Blood's thicker than water...BUT:

Cum's thicker than blood.

*Shrug*

So sayeth the unmarried guy..

Link Posted: 3/30/2006 10:34:45 AM EDT

Originally Posted By garandman:
Draw down?







Stand up for my spouse. Not that it's an issue, I hardly ever talk to my mother.
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 10:39:52 AM EDT
    Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

    Mat 19:5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh
    Mat 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.


Your mother, literaly, is insulting you in the process. Ask yoursef, what do you do when your mother insults you to your face? I suggest a loud "STFU" and slamming the door on your way out.

Shok
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 10:41:31 AM EDT

Originally Posted By m_jacobs_wife:
What do you do when your mother insults your spouse behind his/her back?


Wonder why she did not insult me too?
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 10:42:02 AM EDT
You tell her that if she had the guts to say that in front of your spouse she might be worth listening to.
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 10:44:02 AM EDT
My mom doesn't do that - she loves my wife - but if she did, I'd stand up for her.

As it is my dad insults women all the time, saying things about "all women" this or "all women" that... I always say "(Mrs. Macman37) isn't like that..."
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 10:44:41 AM EDT

Originally Posted By QShok:
    Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

    Mat 19:5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh
    Mat 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.


Your mother, literaly, is insulting you in the process. Ask yoursef, what do you do when your mother insults you to your face? I suggest a loud "STFU" and slamming the door on your way out.

Shok



Big +1. I caught my grandmother insulting one of my girlfriends behind my back because she was overweight. She was talking to my uncle on the phone and was telling him that I had to be "brave' to "date a girl like that". Even though that was a long time ago and the girl and I have long since broken up, it still pisses me off and I'm very distant with my grandmother (and other involved family members) because of it. It really was as much of a slam against me as it was a slam against the girl, and even more so, it's a slam against my judgement. It's very hard to continue to respect anybody who would insult you like this.
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 10:48:43 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/30/2006 10:49:37 AM EDT by TomJefferson]
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 10:50:58 AM EDT
I come from a family of the worst cattiest bitches you will ever meet.

If they ever say anything bad about anyone, I will tell them to shut the fuck up.
Probably just like that.

My crazy grandmother tried to talk about one girl I brought to thanksgiving. I told her to shut up or we're leaving, and I'll do anything and everything in my power to avoid her for the rest of my life.

(I kinda wish she would've kept going, I would be free and clear of the crazy mafia)

But now she's senile, so she forgets how to be mean.
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 10:55:24 AM EDT
Well, mine never did, at least not in my presence. If she had I would have calibrated her on the spot. If she did not apologize and cease those personal attacks, me and Mom would have a less than agreeable parting of the ways.

I left home at seventeen for very good reasons. Although my parents and I achieved a certain civility over the years, we were never very close. Miz LWilde and I on the other hand have been hitched for 33 years...about twice the years I lived in anger at home. No way I accept bad behavior like that.

Mom and Wife are altogether different and must be treated as such.
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 10:55:58 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Evil_Ed:
Blood's thicker than water...BUT:

Cum's thicker than blood.






ewwwwww
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 10:57:37 AM EDT


State that you don't and won't take part in those kinds of conversations.

After 3 wives I have learned. sort of
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 10:58:25 AM EDT
My mother saved any insults she had for my first wife till after we were divorced.
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 10:59:49 AM EDT

My dad use to insult my step-sister's husband right to his face. Spoiled rich kid; he washed out of the Marines, alcoholic, and couldn't keep a job. My step-sister divorced him when he smacked her once.

We laugh about it now.

Shok
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 11:00:21 AM EDT

Originally Posted By macman37:
My mom doesn't do that - she loves my wife - but if she did, I'd stand up for her.




For who??

Link Posted: 3/30/2006 11:00:46 AM EDT
My mom did that some when my wife and I first got married. My mom didn't know her, and she was mainly just being overprotective. She didn't really mean to be insulting, and she was just trying to make sure I wasn't making a mistake. But after a few times, I'd had my fill of defending her to my mom, so I told my mom to knock it off, and that I could take care of myself, and I could deal with my own wife.

She never did it again, and as she got to know my wife better, things have become much improved.
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 11:02:16 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Spade:

Originally Posted By Evil_Ed:
Blood's thicker than water...BUT:

Cum's thicker than blood.






ewwwwww



By that he means, you ain't getting pie from Mom.... follow the pie.
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 11:06:05 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/30/2006 11:09:06 AM EDT by m_jacobs_wife]

Originally Posted By pattymcn:

Originally Posted By m_jacobs_wife:
What do you do when your mother insults your spouse behind his/her back?



You have a moral obligation to stand up for your spouse however you shouldn't tell your spouse what your mother said.

Patty



Why can we not tell our spouse what our mother said?

Just other day, my mother made an insulting gesture with her hands behind my husband's back
indicating that he's fat. When I caught my mother doing that, I told my husband right away.
Afterwards, the three of us (hubby, mom, and myself) sat down at the table and discussed
the situation. By the way, this is not the first time my mother did this.

My husband said straight out to my mother, "I don't like you insulting me." My mother tried denying
it by telling him that I was too sensitive and her gesture was not targeted towards him.
I said to mom, "Well, mom, the moment he walked by you, I saw you made that fat gesture. Plus, you laughed when you did that."

All my mother could is this, "If you don't like the way I joke, you can move out of the house.".

Well, that's our next step. We'll be out of the old lady's house in a few months and she'll never
see our daughter (her granddaughter) again because we don't our daughter thinking it's cool to insult her dad that way.

What do you think?
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 11:09:40 AM EDT
Deal with it like an adult.

“Mom, that’s my wife you’re talking about and I’m not going to tolerate anyone insult her in my presence. You taught me better than that.”

Odds are you will get an apology and that will be the end of it. If not, draw down.
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 11:10:00 AM EDT

You chose your spouse, not your mother.

Link Posted: 3/30/2006 11:11:02 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/30/2006 11:14:21 AM EDT by FITTER]
LOL... they've already tried it, over the phone. My sister got real nasty, so I just handed the phone to my wife.

At one point I didn't speak to my Dad for months because of her. She still trys to manipulate him from time to time, and tries to manipulate me through him, and I have to constantly try to get him back to reality.

ETA: Mother is deceased; never met my wife.
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 11:12:42 AM EDT

Originally Posted By hk940:
did she begin or end the insult by saying "bless her heart"?
like bless her heart your wife is as sharp as a sack of wet mice or

if so there is not much you can do.



sack of wet mice...hehehe
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 11:15:05 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/30/2006 11:16:23 AM EDT by Ginger]

What do you think?


I tell my husband everything. I wouldn't hide that from him.

Your mother telling you that you can move out is a power play on her part, IMO. As soon as you can, move out and, once you've had some space and time apart from her, then take the time to evaluate your relationship. You see things from a different perspective once you're not up close.



edit because I forgot the quote
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 11:16:13 AM EDT
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 11:18:28 AM EDT

Originally Posted By The_Macallan:
You chose your spouse, not your mother.




Exactamundo.

Mothers need to know when to let go and they need to learn when to respect the choices that their grown up children make.
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 11:19:01 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/30/2006 11:23:22 AM EDT by m_jacobs_wife]
It's going to totally break my mother's heart when she no longer sees our 4 year-old daughter.
My mom is crazy about her one and only grandchild. I can't wait to see my mother balling like an
old cow.

"DING! DONG! The witch is dead!" Remember that song from "The Wizard of Oz"?

I'll be singing that song when hubby, my daughter, and I move into our new home.
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 11:21:15 AM EDT
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 11:22:27 AM EDT

Originally Posted By garandman:

Originally Posted By macman37:
My mom doesn't do that - she loves my wife - but if she did, I'd stand up for her.




For who??




Exactly.



I'd stand up for my wife... LOL
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 11:28:05 AM EDT

Originally Posted By hk940:
did she begin or end the insult by saying "bless her heart"?
like bless her heart your wife is as sharp as a sack of wet mice or

if so there is not much you can do.



I'm pretty sure the "bless his/her heart" rule only holds in the States formerly known as the Confederacy.
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 11:55:43 AM EDT
My Mom doesn't do that, but if she did I'd have to say, "Mom, she's my wife. If you're going to talk like that I won't be coming around."

Also, there would be no reason to mention it to my spouse.
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 11:58:44 AM EDT

Originally Posted By eswanson:

Originally Posted By hk940:
did she begin or end the insult by saying "bless her heart"?
like bless her heart your wife is as sharp as a sack of wet mice or

if so there is not much you can do.



sack of wet mice...hehehe



That's a Foghornism!
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 3:51:33 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Brohawk:

Originally Posted By eswanson:

Originally Posted By hk940:
did she begin or end the insult by saying "bless her heart"?
like bless her heart your wife is as sharp as a sack of wet mice or

if so there is not much you can do.



sack of wet mice...hehehe



That's a Foghornism!



"BLess her heart"......the ULTIMATE Southern slam.

Translation: "BLess her heart" = "what a friggen idiot" (in Northern parlance)

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