Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
Member Login

Site Notices
Posted: 1/8/2005 5:57:30 AM EDT
Pulled from the Stuff magazine web page:Homemade Honey Pot

"I'm horny and desperate, but women are repulsed by me and I can't afford a prostitute. Is there anything I can do to get some action?
—Josh, via e-mail

I feel your pain, Josh. Oh, who I am kidding? I so don't, because I can get laid whenever I damn well please. It's one of the perks of being a chick. So to get yourself out of the sex pickle you're in, you can either: 1) grow a vagina; or 2) make one. And since scientists are all wrapped up in cancer research and don't give a patoot about things that matter, like men growing vaginas, you'll have to go with the latter. Luckily, making your own vadge is easy and all you need are a few items, including a hand towel, rubber glove, sock, lotion and zero self-respect. Gather your poonani parts and assemble like so: Lay the towel flat, and put the rubber glove at one end of it with the opening of the glove facing you. Now loosely roll the towel while the glove is in it, and jam the roll into a sock. For the final touch, squirt some lotion into the glove. Now boink it. Or wear it over your foot at night. (Your foot will be silky smooth by morning!)

Link Posted: 1/8/2005 5:59:44 AM EDT
Link Posted: 1/8/2005 6:18:06 AM EDT
Link Posted: 1/8/2005 6:20:42 AM EDT
That is some funny shit.
Link Posted: 1/8/2005 6:31:10 AM EDT
Lame! use your hand boy, thats what it's there for
Link Posted: 1/8/2005 7:01:23 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/8/2005 7:02:23 AM EDT by mjrowley]
Here is another one....personal ad

"I want to write a personal ad so that I can get laid. Will lying pay off?

It depends. If you say you’re six-foot-two with a chiseled body and a great smile but you’re actually a short, flabby, snaggletoothed troll, girls will pretty much realize you fibbed when they see you. However, after surveying my girlfriends about the matter, I found that 70 percent think that lying is acceptable—to an extent. Sure, you can still feed her whoppers to impress her pants off, but this will work only for a one-night stand. If your relationship continues, she’ll eventually figure out that you’re not a Red Cross volunteer and ex?Giants quarterback who loves romantic comedies. The best advice I can give you when writing your ad is to be charming, funny and—the key here—original. If you write, ?I’m charming and funny,? you’re boring and hackneyed. Better: ?I’ll serve you milk and cookies in bed, then make you laugh so hard that the milk will come shooting out of your nose.? Stuff like that will get you the most sex over the long haul. Oh, and please use proper grammar and spelling. Nothing turns me off more than dangling participles. Except for dangling boogers. Get a tissue, already! "
Link Posted: 1/8/2005 11:51:51 AM EDT

Gather your poonani parts and assemble like so:

Link Posted: 1/8/2005 12:09:37 PM EDT
Damn thats a good idea.  I am all out of rubber gloves though.
Link Posted: 1/8/2005 12:19:01 PM EDT

I bet that first guy commited suicide after reading that.  That was pretty harsh...especially coming from a woman.  
Link Posted: 1/8/2005 12:20:14 PM EDT
Was it Clean_Cut?
Link Posted: 1/8/2005 12:23:58 PM EDT

Originally Posted By mjohn3006:
Damn thats a good idea.  I am all out of rubber gloves though.

let me tell you its way better than the real thing and talks less!
Link Posted: 1/8/2005 12:26:36 PM EDT
It wasnt me.
Top Top