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Posted: 4/19/2017 11:05:22 AM EDT
Saw a wasp buzzing around my office this morning so I opened the window to let it out. What do I get for my troubles? It flew up my shorts and stung me on the ass. I now have 4 stings on my ass and inner thigh from this bastard and will be spending my lunch hour with a coworker's bag of frozen peas shoved down my pants! He's still flying around and I now have a jar to catch him in.



What is the ARFCOM approved method of execution? Any sting remedies would be useful also.
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 11:07:22 AM EDT
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 11:08:50 AM EDT
Dad, is that you?
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 11:09:29 AM EDT
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*looks at handle and laughs harder*
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 11:09:38 AM EDT
LOL
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 11:12:06 AM EDT
Why the hell are you trying to catch a damn wasp?
.... Or provide it's means of escape?

All out war, man.... Is the only way
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 11:12:34 AM EDT
You were waaaaay too nice


Link Posted: 4/19/2017 11:12:37 AM EDT
Pic of swollen ass
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 11:13:21 AM EDT
Benadryl.

Sorry to hear about the ass.

Wasps will fuck your shit up, yo.

Link Posted: 4/19/2017 11:13:29 AM EDT
and he's still flying around

LOL
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 11:15:02 AM EDT
Attachment Attached File



Once you catch him in the jar, I would microwave him.


Just to be sure.
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 11:17:15 AM EDT
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Best first reply screen name and avatar in the entire history of Arfcom.

Link Posted: 4/19/2017 11:18:23 AM EDT
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Pic of swollen ass
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Link Posted: 4/19/2017 11:19:55 AM EDT
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished.
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 11:22:45 AM EDT
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My sides!
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 11:23:51 AM EDT
Lesson learned.  Never try to be nice to a wasp.

Same goes for liberals, sharks, and crocodiles.
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 11:28:29 AM EDT
Stung 4x and wasp isn't dead ?? OP, fails at CQB skills...I am disappoint.
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 11:29:28 AM EDT
OP....why you do dat?  
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 11:30:00 AM EDT
My favorites
1. Mapp gas torch
2. Spray adhesive, they can't fly with wings stuck together and as they come out of the hole, they stick to each other
3. Carb cleaner or brake clean, smell goes away quickly when indoors
4. For long range,  wasp&hornet spray
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 11:39:04 AM EDT
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Stung 4x and wasp isn't dead ?? OP, fails at CQB skills...I am disappoint.
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It was a 6 legged, winged ninja. I feel lucky to be alive.
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 11:40:28 AM EDT
The dip?  What does that do to organics?
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 11:41:02 AM EDT
We've used fire, freon, electric tennis rackets, m80 firecrackers, blackcats, carb cleaner, soapy water, and weedeaters.
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 11:41:37 AM EDT
Holy FPNI, batman!
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 11:45:18 AM EDT
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https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/136311/This-is-a-wasp-o-47234-190725.JPG


Once you catch him in the jar, I would microwave him.


Just to be sure.
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WHAT?!  Are you trying to make an angry mutant super wasp?
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 11:45:48 AM EDT
Lol
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 11:48:53 AM EDT
Brake cleaner.
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 11:51:35 AM EDT
Quoted:
He's still flying around and I now have a jar to catch him in.
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Link Posted: 4/19/2017 11:53:37 AM EDT
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The most appropriate user name of all time
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 11:58:39 AM EDT
Mash up some charcoal mix some water and rub on skin.
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 12:06:42 PM EDT
Years ago, we had a wasp hive that I didn't know about.  As my wife and daughter were walking up to our front door, minding their own business, a few wasps started stinging them.  As they ran up the sidewalk, the wasps chased them.    Now, had they stung me, I would have been a little upset.  But they stung my wimminz.  They crossed the line.

I did the obvious, I obtained copious quantities of wasp-killing chemical weapons from Home Depot, and laid waste to them, their friends, their families, and any wasps they once dated.  I got the kind that not only works right away, but sticks around for a week, so if any of their friends or ex's come to check up on them, they get deaded, too.  If I see anything that even LOOKS like a wasp hive in my yard, it gets doused in generous quantities of WMWD - weapons of mass wasp destruction.

As for a "remedy", take a couple of benedryl, and put some lidocaine on the sting for temporary relief, and hydrocortisone cream on it for longer-term relief.
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 12:09:39 PM EDT
I have one of these. Works great and is fun-
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 12:19:39 PM EDT
So when this creature invaded some of your most personal space, what exactly did you do?

How did it not suffer any damage that would preclude any further attack?

Your narrative is short on details and borders on the incredulous.

4 stings on your lower body and you could not crush it while it was contained within your clothing?

I'm going to need a MS Paint diagram of how this went down, for science of course.
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 12:42:29 PM EDT
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Quoted:
So when this creature invaded some of your most personal space, what exactly did you do?

How did it not suffer any damage that would preclude any further attack?

Your narrative is short on details and borders on the incredulous.

4 stings on your lower body and you could not crush it while it was contained within your clothing?

I'm going to need a MS Paint diagram of how this went down, for science of course.
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The first sting was about 7" up my inner right thigh as I shifted my body to reach the telephone. Startled I jumped straight up out of my chair, allowing the demonic insect access through the now loose fabric of my shorts to crawl further up my thigh and deliver two more stings nearly simultaneously. Realizing what was happening, I employed the same muscle memory I had developed for accessing a glock 43 in an ankle holster. I.E., I grabbed my shorts/underwear and forced them to my ankles in a squatting motion. Luckily, the wasp bypassed the twig & berries, but landed a final blow right below the asshole.
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 12:47:24 PM EDT
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The first sting was about 7" up my inner right thigh as I shifted my body to reach the telephone. Startled I jumped straight up out of my chair, allowing the demonic insect access through the now loose fabric of my shorts to crawl further up my thigh and deliver two more stings nearly simultaneously. Realizing what was happening, I employed the same muscle memory I had developed for accessing a glock 43 in an ankle holster. I.E., I grabbed my shorts/underwear and forced them to my ankles in a squatting motion. Luckily, the wasp bypassed the twig & berries, but landed a final blow right below the asshole.
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Holy shit I'm dying over here!

Link Posted: 4/19/2017 12:55:24 PM EDT
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The first sting was about 7" up my inner right thigh as I shifted my body to reach the telephone. Startled I jumped straight up out of my chair, allowing the demonic insect access through the now loose fabric of my shorts to crawl further up my thigh and deliver two more stings nearly simultaneously. Realizing what was happening, I employed the same muscle memory I had developed for accessing a glock 43 in an ankle holster. I.E., I grabbed my shorts/underwear and forced them to my ankles in a squatting motion. Luckily, the wasp bypassed the twig & berries, but landed a final blow right below the asshole.
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Yes, almost exactly how I imagined it.
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 1:00:39 PM EDT
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The first sting was about 7" up my inner right thigh as I shifted my body to reach the telephone. Startled I jumped straight up out of my chair, allowing the demonic insect access through the now loose fabric of my shorts to crawl further up my thigh and deliver two more stings nearly simultaneously. Realizing what was happening, I employed the same muscle memory I had developed for accessing a glock 43 in an ankle holster. I.E., I grabbed my shorts/underwear and forced them to my ankles in a squatting motion. Luckily, the wasp bypassed the twig & berries, but landed a final blow right below the asshole.
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It just gets better with each post OP.
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 1:01:00 PM EDT
Got stung 5x in the hand last year at the range.   Now I carry an EpiPen. 
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 1:03:32 PM EDT
you serious clark? why not just smash him when he was in your clothes.. wtf.    Had one sting me on the arm that got in the house, fucker only stung me once cause I crushed that motherfucker fast.

after his replies thinking its a troll
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 1:07:54 PM EDT
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you serious clark? why not just smash him when he was in your clothes.. wtf.    Had one sting me on the arm that got in the house, fucker only stung me once cause I crushed that motherfucker fast.

after his replies thinking its a troll
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The worst things about wasps is that they are one of the few insects that actively chases and holds grudges. I had one chase me and sting me several time before I made it to safety.
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 1:10:55 PM EDT
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Got stung 5x in the hand last year at the range.   Now I carry an EpiPen. 
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What I carry

Link Posted: 4/19/2017 1:24:16 PM EDT
LOL, been there done that!

Most recent was about 3 weeks ago.

Standing at the plate rack, just finished on 12 of them.

Standing watching other shooters, when all of the sudden, my right inner thigh gets hit with a slight ricochet. Pat at my leg.....bbbzzzzzzzzzzzzttttt....ouch! WTF!?!?! Then about 1/2 second after that.....bastard flew around and stung me on the back of the thigh.....SOB!!!!!

I hop around like a retard and 1/2 the line bust out laughing.

Bastard falls out of my shorts and is sorta 1/2 rolled up.

DONT SHOOT BEHIND THE LINE!

Picked that fucker up by the wing and walked him out to the burm ( 7 yards)....17 rounds latter, not one hit......stomped his ass.
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 1:30:06 PM EDT
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Link Posted: 4/19/2017 3:12:57 PM EDT
  
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 3:15:09 PM EDT
Thanks, I needed that.
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 3:20:28 PM EDT
W.A.S.P. - Wild Child


A.W.D.
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 3:22:26 PM EDT
"I'm a snake bitch, what did you expect?"
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 3:22:54 PM EDT
Be sure to give the peas back.

And, you should really add BREAKING to the title. Most of us are oblivious about their temperament.
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 3:22:57 PM EDT
Balls and thigh here.

Plus pinched and slapped my own nuts.

Indoors a fly swatter works good. If you miss it really livens up the party.
Link Posted: 4/19/2017 3:26:43 PM EDT
As soon as peas thaw, eat them. Share with coworkers.
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