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Posted: 12/15/2010 10:51:31 AM EDT
[#1]
You ever think of helping him out?
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Posted: 12/15/2010 10:52:21 AM EDT
[#2]
Not to take anything away from the guy Travis but some folks quit and other try harder.. I am willing to bet this wasn't the first thing he has just given up on..
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Posted: 12/15/2010 10:54:13 AM EDT
[#3]
Quoted: You ever think of helping him out? I did what I could today...Given my current situation...I will keep an eye out for him, and do what I can.... |
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Posted: 12/15/2010 10:54:28 AM EDT
[#4]
Definitely makes you appreciate what you have.
I have sometimes wondered what would become of me if I was to lose my wife and two children.....still have no answers. 
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Posted: 12/15/2010 10:57:21 AM EDT
[#5]
Quoted:
Quoted:
You ever think of helping him out? I did what I could today...Given my current situation...I will keep an eye out for him, and do what I can.... 
'For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.' "Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You drink? 'And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? 'And when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?' "And the King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.' |
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Posted: 12/15/2010 11:02:37 AM EDT
[#6]
Quoted:
Not to take anything away from the guy Travis but some folks quit and other try harder.. I am willing to bet this wasn't the first thing he has just given up on.. Everyone's breaking point isn't the same. |
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Posted: 12/15/2010 11:11:39 AM EDT
[#7]
Quoted:
You ever think of helping him out? The only one that can help him is himself. The OP could provide some comforts, I suppose. Unless the guy is willing to change, I'd buy him a lunch and wish him the best in which he strives for. |
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Posted: 12/15/2010 11:26:34 AM EDT
[#8]
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Posted: 12/15/2010 11:29:32 AM EDT
[#9]
Friends are friends. You should help him out when you can because, well, that's what friends are for. It's up to him to decide whether to get back in the game. I won't even dare to judge him.
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Posted: 12/15/2010 11:33:28 AM EDT
[#10]
My wife and I were talking about various charities recently. I refuse to give money. Most charities waste my hard earned money. And, churches have "overhead" costs.
However, if and when the opportunity arises, I gladly give directly to a person in need. That is clearly the right thing to do. |
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Posted: 12/15/2010 11:38:18 AM EDT
[#11]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Not to take anything away from the guy Travis but some folks quit and other try harder.. I am willing to bet this wasn't the first thing he has just given up on.. Everyone's breaking point isn't the same. Trust me I know this very well.. ... I have dealt with this loss first hand.. I have set in group with others and I have seen the people who quit and those who dig down to live the way there family would want them too.. |
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Posted: 12/15/2010 12:06:46 PM EDT
[#12]
Quoted:
Quoted:
You ever think of helping him out? The only one that can help him is himself. The OP could provide some comforts, I suppose. Unless the guy is willing to change, I'd buy him a lunch and wish him the best in which he strives for. My fiancee was killed by a drunk driver shortly after I found out I was medically disqualified for military service which had been my only plan for a career. At that point I figured my life was over, I gave up, I wasn't ready to purposely off myself but I was doing every destructive thing I could, My family and most of my friends just kind of ignored what was going on but two of my friends took on the job of pretty much baby sitting me for months. No matter what I did, no matter how shitty I treated em they wouldn't give up. They talked me out of stupid shit or pulled me out of the messes I created until I finally came out of the daze I was in. I still managed to fuck up a good portion of my life but if it weren't for them I would have taken a dirt nap or ended up pushing a shopping cart and talking to the flying spaghetti monster. I don't know if the OP could actually help this guy or if he would even want to put that kind of effort into it but some of us can be saved from ourselves. You're right that he has to choose to change himself but sometimes coming to the decision requires a bit of effort from those around us. |
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Posted: 12/15/2010 1:09:33 PM EDT
[#13]
Quoted:
Not to take anything away from the guy Travis but some folks quit and other try harder.. I am willing to bet this wasn't the first thing he has just given up on.. While I agree with your point, I hesitate to judge someone who loses a wife and child so abruptly. |
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Posted: 12/15/2010 1:28:27 PM EDT
[#14]
He may just surprise you if you keep in touch, sometimes the smallest thing can be a catalyst.
I have a friend who spent his early life in Canada living under bridges, in cars and dumpsters. Today he owns many properties in Indianapolis, and has a great job. |
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Posted: 12/15/2010 1:36:45 PM EDT
[#15]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Not to take anything away from the guy Travis but some folks quit and other try harder.. I am willing to bet this wasn't the first thing he has just given up on.. While I agree with your point, I hesitate to judge someone who loses a wife and child so abruptly. This plus... Well, plus higher than any of us can count. What a terrible loss, I would be a mess too. I hope he gets back on his feet. 
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Posted: 12/15/2010 1:42:51 PM EDT
[#16]
Quoted:
Friends are friends. You should help him out when you can because, well, that's what friends are for. It's up to him to decide whether to get back in the game. I won't even dare to judge him. This is how I live my life. |
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Posted: 12/15/2010 1:47:03 PM EDT
[#17]
If I lost my wife and kid, I figure someone may find awesome artwork on the ceiling. I sure hope we never find out.
45 through the upper palate. Long live my wife and child. |
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Posted: 12/15/2010 1:50:12 PM EDT
[#18]
let no one judge the man or woman that has lost a child and how that effects them.
no one can understand or relate unless they have gone through it. it has nothing to do with strength, it is simple wiring. |
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Posted: 12/15/2010 1:53:39 PM EDT
[#19]
I would be there for him as much as possible, stuff like that can mess someone up big time in the head for quite a while. I know just being told I'd never be able to go back to the police academy and become a cop after my arm got so messed up made me kind of lose it for a while (and by it, I mean interest in pretty much anything, most depressed and angry I've ever been). I can't imagine what it was like for him to lose his wife and kid in one incident.
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Posted: 12/15/2010 2:01:05 PM EDT
[#20]
Quoted: Absolutely!My wife and I were talking about various charities recently. I refuse to give money. Most charities waste my hard earned money. And, churches have "overhead" costs. However, if and when the opportunity arises, I gladly give directly to a person in need. That is clearly the right thing to do. If I can see exactly where my money is going and know that its a legit need, I'll give till it hurts! |
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Posted: 12/15/2010 2:02:29 PM EDT
[#21]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Not to take anything away from the guy Travis but some folks quit and other try harder.. I am willing to bet this wasn't the first thing he has just given up on.. Everyone's breaking point isn't the same. +1. It's easy to see how something like losing your entire family can make "starting over" seem...pointless. |
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Posted: 12/15/2010 2:12:46 PM EDT
[#22]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Not to take anything away from the guy Travis but some folks quit and other try harder.. I am willing to bet this wasn't the first thing he has just given up on.. While I agree with your point, I hesitate to judge someone who loses a wife and child so abruptly. This plus... Well, plus higher than any of us can count. What a terrible loss, I would be a mess too. I hope he gets back on his feet. Life pretty much wouldn't be worth living without my family. I can understand why a person would give up. Sad story.
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Posted: 12/15/2010 2:14:59 PM EDT
[#23]
Loss like that can put you in a depression you'll never get out of on your own. When a person is depressed and stuck in one stage of the grieving process that long, it changes their brain chemistry. It's called clinical depression If it was my friend I might pay for him a visit with my doc and for his first months anti-depression med.
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Posted: 12/15/2010 2:17:30 PM EDT
[#24]
Quoted:
He may just surprise you if you keep in touch, sometimes the smallest thing can be a catalyst. I have a friend who spent his early life in Canada living under bridges, in cars and dumpsters. Today he owns many properties in Indianapolis, and has a great job. This. There is a reason your paths crossed when they did. There is no such thing as coincidence. |
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Posted: 12/15/2010 2:22:44 PM EDT
[#25]
Very sad. Makes my "problems" seem stupid.
Hope thing's work out for him... |
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Posted: 12/15/2010 2:24:54 PM EDT
[#26]
Quoted: Quoted: Not to take anything away from the guy Travis but some folks quit and other try harder.. I am willing to bet this wasn't the first thing he has just given up on.. Everyone's breaking point isn't the same. And everyone has a breaking point. |
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Posted: 12/15/2010 2:29:33 PM EDT
[#27]
this does give one to think especially around this time of the year.
Perhaps you helping him will give him a boost and he will get back in his feet. |
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Posted: 12/15/2010 2:31:05 PM EDT
[#28]
Prayers sent for your friend.
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Posted: 12/15/2010 2:32:36 PM EDT
[#29]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
You ever think of helping him out? I did what I could today...Given my current situation...I will keep an eye out for him, and do what I can....
'For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.' "Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You drink? 'And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? 'And when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?' "And the King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.' Amen. |
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Posted: 12/15/2010 2:38:33 PM EDT
[#30]
Quoted:
If I lost my wife and kid, I figure someone may find awesome artwork on the ceiling. I sure hope we never find out. 45 through the upper palate. Long live my wife and child. Your wife impressed a lot of people when she rescued you at the Hun Farm. How long did it take for your wrists to heal? |
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Posted: 12/15/2010 3:23:44 PM EDT
[#31]
Quoted:
Quoted:
If I lost my wife and kid, I figure someone may find awesome artwork on the ceiling. I sure hope we never find out. 45 through the upper palate. Long live my wife and child. Your wife impressed a lot of people when she rescued you at the Hun Farm. How long did it take for your wrists to heal? 
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Posted: 12/15/2010 3:35:04 PM EDT
[#32]
Terrible to hear that. I guess when youre worst nightmares come true you dont know how to react. Hope he gets some help and gets his life back. Do what you can to help him even if its just talking to him. Good luck.
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Posted: 12/15/2010 3:37:29 PM EDT
[#33]
Good for you OP.
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Posted: 12/15/2010 3:45:59 PM EDT
[#34]
Losing a wife and son in a car accident would break alot of people, I am sure.
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Posted: 12/15/2010 3:49:34 PM EDT
[#35]
Quoted: Due to some bad life choices... Curious. If you don't mind sharing? Anything that might be a lesson or caution to anyone here? THanks. |
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Posted: 12/15/2010 3:57:07 PM EDT
[#36]
he should of made better life choices
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Posted: 12/15/2010 3:58:33 PM EDT
[#37]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
If I lost my wife and kid, I figure someone may find awesome artwork on the ceiling. I sure hope we never find out. 45 through the upper palate. Long live my wife and child. Your wife impressed a lot of people when she rescued you at the Hun Farm. How long did it take for your wrists to heal?
He fell forward and tried to stop himself with his hands. In the process he severely sprained his wrists. His wife flew from IL to Dallas then drove 3 hours out to the Hun Farm to drive him back to IL. She was a damn good sport about the ordeal. TRG was unable to "seduce" him. |
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Posted: 12/15/2010 4:05:53 PM EDT
[#38]
Quoted:
he should of made better life choices Extreme stress, like the kind you would have from losing your wife and child, tends to effect your judgment slightly, I would imagine. |
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Posted: 12/15/2010 4:06:53 PM EDT
[#39]
I have mixed feelings. I have lost kids. If I lost them all, I have a feeling it would be a struggle to stay on the straight and narrow. I realize my God would be there for me no matter what.
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Posted: 12/15/2010 4:53:37 PM EDT
[#40]
Quoted: Quoted: Due to some bad life choices... Curious. If you don't mind sharing? Anything that might be a lesson or caution to anyone here? THanks. He did what a lot of us "Tough Guys" would do....He started self medicating with alcohol....Then the next level....Lost a successful business, and the rest of his family along the way...Too "macho" to ask for a hand...Just folded into himself I guess.... |
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Posted: 12/15/2010 5:02:16 PM EDT
[#41]
I lost my wife years ago and wanted to go suck start my pistol, but thankfully chose not to. Its a tough road to travel, and it definitely strained me mentally to go forward when every fiber of your being wants to just stop doing everything. People telling me they understood, or that they knew what I was going through only served to drive me further away. When you are that deep in despair nothing is comforting, even if you know that they are speaking truth.
You did the right thing, and keeping in touch is not a bad idea either. Its winter time and the guy might need some gear to survive if the weather takes a turn for the worse. I thought about giving away my old sleeping bags to the homeless, but after my last encounter with a homeless "veteran" I am jaded. He had a sign up saying hungry and will work for food, Viet Nam veteran. I offered him a couple MRE's and he spit on my window! Granted, it was not a bottle of booze or double whopper with cheese but it was food and his sign claimed he was hungry. Being a vet I assumed he would get a kick out of it and appreciate the matches, tobasco sauce, and toilet paper if nothing else. Hoping you have better luck than I with your old friend! |
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