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1/25/2018 7:38:29 AM
Posted: 12/10/2001 3:28:29 PM EST
[Last Edit: 12/10/2001 3:22:30 PM EST by Norm_G]
A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his. A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. Barbara Streisand sings for you. A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows, your neighbor has none. So? A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour. A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage which ultimately blows up the cows. CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows. DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government. BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the 2 cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts that you have reduced your expenses. Your stock goes up. A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch. Life is good. A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school. A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good. A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge for storing them for others. If they give milk, you tell no one. A FLORIDA CORPORATION: You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who like the brown one best vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best looking one. A NEW YORK CORPORATION: You have fifteen million cows. You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd, so you pick some cow from Arkansas.
Link Posted: 12/10/2001 4:00:12 PM EST
That's excellent. Norm_G! [>]:)]
Link Posted: 12/10/2001 4:05:58 PM EST
Thank you (taking an undeserved bow). There had been an earlier version posted. This one has the New York cow at the end. I though it greatly improved the list. [:)]
Link Posted: 12/10/2001 4:06:33 PM EST
Good post...if Zen was still around on the board we'd have to call it the "two sheep" theory........
Link Posted: 12/10/2001 4:07:16 PM EST
Now [i]there's[/i] a character.
Link Posted: 12/10/2001 4:10:32 PM EST
A CNN REPORTER You have two cows,one is being oppressed because it is homosexual and has mad cow disease so it deserves 24 hour coverage. The other is a normal so it doesnt really exist. Ted Turner gives it to the starving fallowers of Kofi Anon
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