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Posted: 3/25/2001 2:42:04 AM EDT
My sister got an ultrasound before the abortion and found out her baby had FAS(fetal alcohol syndrome), I still don't know what to think, because she didn't know this until just before she got an abortion, she told me yesterday.

Yesterday night, we got into a big fight about my guns, she wants locks on all of them, I want one of my pistols loaded, next to the bed, my shotgun, next to the bed loaded, and the AR in the closet, with mags nearby, no locks. I spent 2 hours explaining the fact that while I'm not paranoid, I don't want to have the same thing happen like before (4 black men tried to kick down the door of my house, but I had my Glock) and not be prepared. She says your gonna shoot someone your crazy, all I said was: "FUCK YOU YOU STUPID BITCH, YOU ALREADY MANAGED TO KILL A DEFENSELESS CHILD THIS WEEK, DON'T FORCE YOUR DISGUSTING VIEWS OF YOURSELF ON TO ME!", she ran away crying, and me and her fiancee talked about 2 hours, he agreed, he wanted to have the child too, and told me about the FAS, I feel bad (a little), but I just finally got tired of her dictating rules to me, he said that the way I want to keep my guns is fine, none are visible, and no one comes in my room anyway,

PS> sis woke up and acted like nothing happened this morning, I think I got my point across.
Link Posted: 3/25/2001 2:43:42 AM EDT
Link Posted: 3/25/2001 2:57:06 AM EDT
Link Posted: 3/25/2001 2:59:09 AM EDT
my sentence is 2 months longer, my house will be finished then
Link Posted: 3/25/2001 3:16:02 AM EDT
Exactly...what the hell are you doing living with your sister?

Let her lead her own life and you yours. Free from each others judgements.

Link Posted: 3/25/2001 3:17:31 AM EDT
Link Posted: 3/25/2001 3:18:19 AM EDT
I dont wanna seem like Im messing in..but I went through this ...a long time ago with a woman who has the exact feelings about firearms...have mercy on her when things get settled down...she could be pretty shook up physically and mentally over this If that isnt enough incentive she wouldnt be the first "upset" women to call the cops and told them what you just confessed to saying to her...in our state those very words are enough to earn you a domestic abuse charge and you can kiss your firearms goodbye forever..not trying to mess in just a word of caution..let cooler heads prevail
Link Posted: 3/25/2001 3:19:46 AM EDT
Link Posted: 3/25/2001 3:26:56 AM EDT
I concur.  With all do respect I think she has some problems based on what you've shared on this board.  I'd also be very cautious about leaving my weapons around where someone that unstable would have access to them.  

I suggest keeping your mouth shut and getting out of there ASAP.  I'm not saying ditch your family, just don't get sucked into problems you can't solve. One of the most frustrating things about situations like this is the more you try to help someone you love, the more they end up resenting you for it.  Trust me, I've been there.
Link Posted: 3/25/2001 3:29:11 AM EDT
Is there a doctor in the house?  Can you tell that early in the pregnancy if FAC is present?
Link Posted: 3/25/2001 3:29:43 AM EDT
she is known to have psychological problems, and an alcohol problem, I just got to a point where I couldn't take it, I helped them get this apartment when mom died with inusurance money, I was trying to help and I do pay more than half the bills, I just hope they can afford it after they leave, I was just making a point, I do try to solve problems, and do the best I can, I hate living here too, but can't move till my house is done, but we now have an understanding, my guns are my business, her reproductive organs and drinking are her business, unless she asks for help.

PS> the cops won't do anything, they know she's irrational and a drunk, heck, I happen to be good friends with the one that has brought her home from the bar twice now. once on her friends B-day right after she got pregnant, and last week when she found out she was pregnant.
Link Posted: 3/25/2001 4:59:25 AM EDT
What you did was right, I know that.
Link Posted: 3/25/2001 5:14:24 AM EDT

A question--are you certain that (despite what she said) that she is not afraid that you might shoot someone with your unlocked guns but rather, that she knows that if there is an unlocked/loaded gun in her house she might use it on herself??

I will add one thing--as distasteful as it is to me, if I am a guest (regardless of how she got the house) in someone else's home, I respect their wishes.  If it is something I cannot do, I will leave.  
Link Posted: 3/25/2001 9:49:20 AM EDT
I just got a deadbolt for my door, so only I can get in my room because I thought about her using one on herself.

AFARR, lets see, both of our names are on the lease, I pay $300 of a $450 rent payment, and I pay for cable, and groceries, etc., so I am most assuredly not a guest, in fact, this apartment was sposed to be mine and mom's, but mom died and my sister wanted to get out of her fiance's parents house, I figured great, I hadn't really spent time with her since dad died tho....and didn't know she went psycho, I recently, tossed out her booze collection, and won't let her go anywhere but work without me or her fiancee (he cares as much as I do so I'm not alone), both of our parents dying within 6 months did a job on her, but I ain't gonna hold her hand, if she gets pregnant and an abortion, shes gonna hear about it, if she calls me at a bar cuz she's drunk, the cops are gonna pick her up and take her home.

She has many friends (one whom I've been dating for more than a month. helps to have inside contacts who will tell me everything thats happened in the 6 months I wasn't around. :D) and they all want to help her, she used to be an intelligent Person, hell or highwater, she is gonna be again.
Link Posted: 3/25/2001 12:12:18 PM EDT
I didnt read all posts but, this is what i got:

you live with your sister, and her fiance...

seems to me, you both need to mind YOUR OWN (and ONLY your) buisness, and get another appartment!

my .02 cents
Link Posted: 3/25/2001 5:04:59 PM EDT
My sister got an ultrasound before the abortion and found out her baby had FAS(fetal alcohol syndrome), I still don't know what to think, because she didn't know this until just before she got an abortion, she told me yesterday.

Yesterday night, we got into a big fight about my guns, she wants locks on all of them, .
View Quote

I don't mean to be ugly, but here's teh thought that popped into my head when reading this....


Now you tell me, what here should have a lock put on it - your guns , or her ________????
Link Posted: 3/25/2001 10:52:03 PM EDT
Garandman, thanks, its always nice to know that there are people out there that think like I do.....  I wouldn't have been pissed if she would've had the abortion due to FAS, but she didn't even know, and was gonna do it anyway.

Greenlabel, the last time I minded my own business, both my parents died within six months of each other, I want to help her, and am the only one who has made an effort to, everyone else just feels sorry for her cuz mommy and daddy died, but hey, they were my parents too, and I am not gonna see my future niece/nephew killed because she doesn't want it, the fact that the baby had FAS (my sister said so, so I don't even know if thats true) doesn't take away the fact that someone who could've been a living breathing human in 6 more months is dead now, deeply affects me, I got tired of minding my own business, I feel I have to help, since no one else will.

I watched 2 parents die from stupidity, damned if I'm gonna watch my sister go down that road.
Link Posted: 3/25/2001 11:03:07 PM EDT
Well, I am sorry that she went through with the abortion.  That in it self is bad enough, but as to your guns, well you need to prepare for fires and escape routes, you need to prepare for bad weather and where to go for safety, Same same with self protection in my book.  But check the laws on how you go about using them for your protection.  It can get complicated.  I hope things work out for you...
Link Posted: 3/26/2001 3:54:26 AM EDT
Pro life is great choice. seems like all the ones that want abortons are the ones holding the candles at the midnight excutions. They want to kill all the babies and let the murders go free. my .o2   Hayboy
Link Posted: 3/26/2001 4:32:04 AM EDT

From your original post, it sounded like you were rooming with them temporarily.  If you are paying rent, you are no longer a guest--you should have absoloute say in what happens in your room (barring real endangerment of the rest of the house).  

It sounds like your sister needs some serious professional help, and possibly committed for a short term.  If the fiancee is willing, discuss with a mental health provider the possibility of long term counseling or short term in-patient care.  It may be expensive, but how expensive is a funeral now-a-days??

Link Posted: 3/26/2001 9:38:57 AM EDT
AFARR, I want to get her help, she goes to therapy 3 times a week, and does better day by day, I can't afford to have her commited, and don't want to do that yet, She has till I move out to show improvement, if not, I take more drastic measures.

As far as the guns, my sister says she hates them because supposedly my dad pointed one at her head cuz she wouldn't shoot, nope, uh-uh, didn't happen, and I didn't appreciate her saying that about dad, after he's dead and can't defend his name, but she has offered to go shooting with me, so we'll see what happens!
Link Posted: 3/26/2001 10:56:46 AM EDT
It's good you stood your ground w/ respect to the guns. A person who would take an innocent life obviously has no right to tell ANYONE else what to do.

Link Posted: 3/26/2001 11:10:37 AM EDT
AFARR, I want to get her help, she goes to therapy 3 times a week, and does better day by day, I can't afford to have her commited, and don't want to do that yet, She has till I move out to show improvement, if not, I take more drastic measures.
View Quote

Time for some cold hard facts.

1. No amount of theraphy is going to help until she stops drinking.

2. It's not your job to fix her,  that's her job.

3. You can love someone but still not put up with there bullsh!t.

Take it from a guy that knows.  I used to drink alot, to the point it caused a lot of problems.  I stopped for a while and things got much better.  But years later when I started again (because I thought I could handle it), the wife kicked me out of the house.  Not because she didn't love me, but because she knew I had to travel my own path and she loved herself even more.  Hardest damn think she ever did she says.

Point is this: One of you has a drinking problem and the other one wants to fix everything.  I suggest Alchoholics Anom and Alanon, you can figure out who goes to what.

Seriously think about what I said, and I hope the best for you.


PS  My e-mail is just a computer away.
Link Posted: 3/26/2001 6:51:16 PM EDT

Whatever your feeling about abortion are, I think your statement about the abortion in your disagreement about the guns was a very low blow.  The two are totally seperate and it smeemed as if you just used it as a weapon against her.  From my understanding of the situation, you are in her house and therefore should be more respectful of her wishes.  I would however still probably keep one pistol ready though.
Link Posted: 3/27/2001 7:41:17 AM EDT
MOD, can you read?!?! I pay most of the rent here and my name is on the lease.... I would have no problems making a compromise with the guns, but I hate getting yelled at when I carry in the house, dammit, I have a CCW, and I aint doing the off and on thing all the time, in my FRIGGIN APARTMENT!  I bought a pelican case, and put the AR and other pistols away, but my CDP stays in the nightstand, and my Benelli in the corner, full tube and carrier, empty chamber, safety off, for her fiancee if I'm not home.

I know that was a low blow, but I got tired of her screaming irrationally,"I DON'T LIKE GUNS!"

she has said nothing since, so, tho mean, my comment served its purpose.
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