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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 9/24/2005 9:56:10 AM EDT

Hood, Riding, Red, Little

Once upon a time there was a female personnel whose nomenclature was Hood, Riding, Red, Little (one each). She was a girl, little, happy. Her duty uniform consisted of the following named items: (1) Dress, red, cotton, shade 76, one each; (2) Cape, HBT, red, w/ hood, (one each). Her MOS was 94B4S, food handler.

One day Hood, riding, red, little received a TWX from her Mother, Grand, Old, who was billeted off-post in a cottage, brick, red, Carhart type, w/ chimney, w/o TV, initial A/DPEN issue (one each). The TWX read as follows:

"Dear Hood. This is to advise you that morning report should read: DY to SK conf to qrts as of 0100 hrs, 1 Jan 68. Went on sick call yesterday (LD:yes), conf indef pd. However, I am feeling somewhat better. Love, related-type Mother, Grand, Your. Added: Pls see about Sep Rat for me. MGY.

Hood took the TWX to the message center with the following 1st endorsement: "Basic communication complied with. ETA your station approx 1600 hrs this day."

While enroute to the TDY destination, personnel concerned came to a forest, thick, primeval. Suddenly, out of a thicket, briar, emerged a wolf, brown, bad (one each). Wolf said, "Halt, who goes there, and what are your last four?"

Hood answered, "Hood, Riding, Red Little, 4032. I am enroute to my TDY point and am looking for the house of my Mother, Grand, Old."

"It is two clicks the road; turn left at building 2355," instructed the wolf.

"How do you know where she lives?", questioned Hood.

"I've pulled guard duty in those parts," said Wolf, who then caught a bus to the Granny's. Upon arrival, wolf, bad, swallowed Granny with a gulp, single (one each). Wolf then policed up the area, including butt cans, and jumped into bed, initial A/DPEN issue type, then pulled on Granny's AC 146-92's.

Hood, entering: "Hello, Mother, Grand."

"The fool, little, stupid, does not know that is really me, the wolf, bad, big," chuckled the wolf.

"My, what big EENT you have," exclaimed Hood, Riding, Red, Little.

"All the better to maintain maximum efficiency at minimum cost with Zero Defects,", replied the wolf.

Then, entered the chopper, wood type, handsome. Chopper killed wolf with a blow (one each) and performed necessary surgical procedures to remove Mother, Grand, from stomach of wolf, bad, big, dead. With allowance for quarters and rations, they all lived after, ever, happily.

-Unknown military author, Vietnam, circa 1968

Now that is some truly funny shit. Whoever wrote that was one talented SOB! Hilarious!
Link Posted: 9/24/2005 10:02:19 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/24/2005 10:02:54 AM EDT by photoman]
Thats some funny shit.

ETA: Wonder what the three little pigs would end up looking like.
Link Posted: 9/24/2005 10:10:47 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/24/2005 10:13:10 AM EDT by Charging_Handle]

Originally Posted By photoman:
Thats some funny shit.

ETA: Wonder what the three little pigs would end up looking like.

Bahahahahahaha. I don't know, but I may have to re-write that story sometime using the same style and jargon as above.
Link Posted: 9/24/2005 10:10:52 AM EDT
That was a good find Charging_Handle

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