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Posted: 11/29/2007 5:52:59 AM EST
Post the ones you have heard...

The three that stick out to me the most are:

* Some guy got sectioned 8 out of the Marines because he faked bounced a basketball all day and night, and when they discharged him, he handed the S1 guy the 'ball' and said "here you take it, I don't need it anymore"


* CG's wife who got blown up by a stray 155mm round in Lejeune.

* Marines were SPIE rigging and somehow ended up hitting a dumpster at the PX.

Post 'em up.



cmmg
Link Posted: 11/29/2007 5:59:22 AM EST
[#1]
Stress cards?

The Ether bunny?

The M-16 was designed to wound - not kill, and the bullet tumbles end over end in flight - which is what makes it so accurate.

I also heard from a tank mechanic fresh out of AIT that the 155mm gun tube from a Paladin will 'bolt right in' an M1A1/2 tank.  I think he really believed it too .





-K
Link Posted: 11/29/2007 6:05:21 AM EST
[#2]
Floor buffer suicide.

Saltpeter in the food/drink during basic.
Link Posted: 11/29/2007 6:12:07 AM EST
[#3]
I heard the "basketball" legend, with a twist. I heard it was a Navy guy, who pretended to ride a motorcycle everywhere. He didn't start until he was actually assigned to a ship. As was leaving the ship, with his discharge, he "dismounted" the "motorcycle" next to the brow and walked off the ship.

Floor buffer suicide is always a good one.
Link Posted: 11/29/2007 6:34:45 AM EST
[#4]
All Combloc weapons can fire NATO ammunition. The build their's 1mm bigger just so they can do this.

The AK-47 was designed to fire 5.56x45 in an emergency.

The saltpeter one was always good for a laugh.

Never heard of the floor buffer suicide.
Link Posted: 11/29/2007 6:38:20 AM EST
[#5]

Never heard of the floor buffer suicide.


+1, a little more than 8 years in, I never heard this one. Whats the dope?
Link Posted: 11/29/2007 6:41:06 AM EST
[#6]

Quoted:

Never heard of the floor buffer suicide.


+1, a little more than 8 years in, I never heard this one. Whats the dope?

Too many variations to recount really. The basics of the story involve a recruit that is having a tough time in basic/boot. He decides he cannot stand it anymore and decides to use the cord from a floor buffer to commit suicide. That's when the variations start. One even includes the recruit miscalculating how long the cord is and not successfully committing the act.
Link Posted: 11/29/2007 6:43:09 AM EST
[#7]
http://www.snopes.com/military/buffer.asp
Link Posted: 11/29/2007 3:11:13 PM EST
[#8]
Guy while on deployment (Insert current AO here) gets video child's birthday party then tape switches to wife getting banged. They showed this is the (lame movie/book) Jarhead too.
Link Posted: 11/29/2007 3:57:55 PM EST
[#9]
It's illegal to shoot people with a .50 BMG.

Link Posted: 11/29/2007 4:00:42 PM EST
[#10]

Quoted:
It's illegal to shoot people with a .50 BMG.



It's against the Geneva Convention to shoot paratroopers.
Link Posted: 11/29/2007 5:54:12 PM EST
[#11]

Quoted:

Quoted:
It's illegal to shoot people with a .50 BMG.



It's against the Geneva Convention to shoot paratroopers.


You can shoot paratroopers, not aircrew parachutists.
Link Posted: 11/29/2007 6:05:41 PM EST
[#12]

Quoted:
Guy while on deployment (Insert current AO here) gets video child's birthday party then tape switches to wife getting banged. They showed this is the (lame movie/book) Jarhead too.

The way I heard it, it was the Super Bowl.
Link Posted: 11/29/2007 6:13:25 PM EST
[#13]
I heard about a sgt that was going to get married after a deployment, he came home to loving soon to be wife. just a day before the wedding he finds a tape( jarhead type) of his wife banging some other guy. He marries her! then during the reception, he shows the tape to all who attended, then tossed his ring to her, as he left to get the marriage annulled.
Link Posted: 11/29/2007 6:34:04 PM EST
[#14]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Quoted:
It's illegal to shoot people with a .50 BMG.



It's against the Geneva Convention to shoot paratroopers.


You can shoot paratroopers, not aircrew parachutists.


The minute their hand touches that sidearm they just became paratroopers.
Link Posted: 11/29/2007 9:31:46 PM EST
[#15]
This is a SFAS urban one.

This was told to me by an SFAS instructor when I was in SFAS. Apparently this SFAS candidate during the STAR exam ran across the road to take a shortcut and was observed by a SFAS instructor with NODS. The instructor quickly started chasing the candidate though some deep brush and started yelling "candidate stop.....do you know who I am?" The candidate stops turns around and the instructor hears the distinct noise of an E-tool being opened and unfolded. The candidate then yells back "come and get me" The instructor then yelled back "continue to train candidate"
Link Posted: 11/30/2007 1:31:20 AM EST
[#16]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Quoted:
It's illegal to shoot people with a .50 BMG.



It's against the Geneva Convention to shoot paratroopers.


You can shoot paratroopers, not aircrew parachutists.


That's where the confusion lies.
Link Posted: 11/30/2007 2:46:17 AM EST
[#17]
Jackass EOD guys taping a block of C4 to a jackrabbit and lighting the fuze. Problem is the rabbit runs under their truck and blows it up...

but that one is real...I swear.  

Link Posted: 11/30/2007 4:36:17 AM EST
[#18]
LOL    

I heard this one at Drill last month from PVT..


His tattoo artist is a ex Navy seal, just last month the tattoo artist was called back by the SEAL's and the CIA to help them test a new type of explosive device (He was a ordinance SEAL)

They flew him first class to the secret location and had him specifically do the testing then sent him back. They do this with him (the tattoo artist) all the time.


Me being the new Sergeant tried to gently let him down but he was a bit leary of the story being false..Next week I am going to get the tattoo shops name and pay it a visit...


It was hard not to choke from laughing as all these young PVT's sat there listening in awe of his story..
Link Posted: 11/30/2007 5:37:00 AM EST
[#19]
Forgot this one.  During the night infiltration course (where you low-crawl under live M-60 fire), some kid in the last class stood up and was killed.  
Link Posted: 11/30/2007 5:47:37 AM EST
[#20]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Never heard of the floor buffer suicide.


+1, a little more than 8 years in, I never heard this one. Whats the dope?

Too many variations to recount really. The basics of the story involve a recruit that is having a tough time in basic/boot. He decides he cannot stand it anymore and decides to use the cord from a floor buffer to commit suicide. That's when the variations start. One even includes the recruit miscalculating how long the cord is and not successfully committing the act.


Always the first one to come to my mind. Ending with his miscalculation of the cord length, the buffer hitting the deck before it could snap his neck... and then having to pay for the busted buffer...
Link Posted: 11/30/2007 6:01:39 AM EST
[#21]

Quoted:
Post the ones you have heard...

The three that stick out to me the most are:

* Some guy got sectioned 8 out of the Marines because he faked bounced a basketball all day and night, and when they discharged him, he handed the S1 guy the 'ball' and said "here you take it, I don't need it anymore"


* CG's wife who got blown up by a stray 155mm round in Lejeune.

* Marines were SPIE rigging and somehow ended up hitting a dumpster at the PX.

Post 'em up.





'Stress Cards' in Army Basic Training...

LT hangs a live grenade from his vest by the pin on FTX, grenade pulls free while LT is in the prone, and is left 'spoon down' so it doesn't go off... Upon discovery of missing grenade, hands-across-the-range is done, and grenade is found when it is kicked by a soldier & detonates, killing said soldier....

The RPK and the M240B both fire the same ammunition, and are approximately the same weapon...

The M240B was adopted to replace the M249

5.56:
-Designed to wound, not kill
-Tumbles in flight
-Bounces around in your body like a ping-pong ball

.50BMG:
- Is illegal to use on personell, you may only shoot equipment
- Can kill you even if the round misses, due to the 'shock wave'

The AK-47 is a jam-proof, super-relaible weapon, and is thus better than the M16...

7.62x39 is a more accurate round, and does more damage than 5.56 NATO....

7.62 NATO and .45ACP always stop the enemy no matter where he is hit...

We are using the M1 rifle in Iraq & Afghanistan

All of the above are mostly to completely FALSE, of course....
Link Posted: 11/30/2007 6:12:10 AM EST
[#22]
Another Section 8'er -

Sailor starts "looking for something" everywhere on the ship. Under mattresses, behind lockers, inside magazines. Frantically searching while saying to himself "where is it? where is it?"

He continues this everyday, even while in the shrinks office, etc. When they finally Section 8 him they slide his discharge papers across the desk, he picks them up, looks at them and says "THERE IT IS!" and walks out.
Link Posted: 11/30/2007 6:30:24 AM EST
[#23]
A guy I know told me a couple of nasty ones.  Not sure if you've heard them or variations of them.  One was he knew some SEALs who used to play the "cookie" game, they would throw down an oreo and beat off on it, last one to nut had to eat it, first one drank free all night.    He also claimed to be partying with some crazy ass Brits and one of them bet him $20 he wouldn't drink a pint of his own piss.  He grabbed his empty pint glass, unzipped, filled it up and downed it.    I've heard most of the other ones posted of course, especially the "jarhead" one with the video from the wife, heard a variation on that one too.  A young married guy was hanging out in the barracks with his single buddies, a girl down the hall was running a train so they got in line, all was well until he got close enough to see the girl was his wife.  
Link Posted: 11/30/2007 11:33:04 AM EST
[#24]

Quoted:

LT hangs a live grenade from his vest by the pin on FTX, grenade pulls free while LT is in the prone, and is left 'spoon down' so it doesn't go off... Upon discovery of missing grenade, hands-across-the-range is done, and grenade is found when it is kicked by a soldier & detonates, killing said soldier........


Kind of what happened to Max Cleland...


"When the helicopter landed, Cleland jumped out, followed by the two soldiers. They ducked beneath the rotors and turned to watch the liftoff. Cleland reached down to pick up the grenade he believed had popped off his flak jacket. The blast slammed him backward, shredding both his legs and one arm. He was 25 years old..."


My favorite one was about the Vietnam vets sent to an island to live out their lives because they had the , "Black Syphilis"  and the family was told they were KIA.



Link Posted: 11/30/2007 2:06:11 PM EST
[#25]
During an airdrop training mission, a Gamma-Goat missed the DZ and landed in a McDonalds parking lot...
Link Posted: 11/30/2007 2:29:30 PM EST
[#26]
Variations in the "black syphilis quarantine island" are still going around, and people believe it.... or the "crystal ghonorhea" where they have to hit your cock with a hammer to break the crystals...

The OP mentioned a "Marine SPIE riggers VS dumpster" story, IIRC that may have happened.
Link Posted: 11/30/2007 2:41:00 PM EST
[#27]

Quoted:

* CG's wife who got blown up by a stray 155mm round in Lejeune.



That's almost true, it happened while I was there.  It was a commanding officers wife, but not the CGs.

The round hit in the middle of the road WAY outside the range fan.  

Jim

Edited to add:  Stress Cards.  The USMC had them, too, circa 1988-90.
Link Posted: 11/30/2007 6:33:17 PM EST
[#28]
Link Posted: 11/30/2007 6:50:24 PM EST
[#29]
what about the square needle left nut after fun time in Korea
Link Posted: 12/1/2007 12:54:20 AM EST
[#30]
Almost forgot my favorite.

There was a "nuke" in a bunker under Guard Post Oulette (U.S. outpost in the DMZ) and someone was supposed to detonate it if the North Koreans overan the position.
Link Posted: 12/1/2007 4:47:35 AM EST
[#31]

Quoted:
Guy while on deployment (Insert current AO here) gets video child's birthday party then tape switches to wife getting banged. They showed this is the (lame movie/book) Jarhead too.


The bad part about this one is that it happened in Jnuary of 1990 while I was in Saudi Arabia at a MWR tent.
Link Posted: 12/1/2007 6:40:09 AM EST
[#32]

Quoted:

Quoted:

* CG's wife who got blown up by a stray 155mm round in Lejeune.



That's almost true, it happened while I was there..


Camp Pendelton Marines on TWS say it happened to a CO of theirs as well...

I guess the Marine who got his kidneys stolen in Vegas was in your unit as well, right?
Link Posted: 12/1/2007 6:48:01 AM EST
[#33]
I have a myth that actually turned out to be true.

I was on guard duty at Hohenfels, Germany the summer of 1985. This was one of the last times “live-fire” was allowed on Hohenfels. We were on a summer gunnery and I was out alone in BFE guarding the rear entrance to the range.

A civilian vehicle approached the guard post and stopped. I went up to the vehicle and the driver presented me his credentials stating he was a armament tech rep on the Cobra. I took his ID and radioed for permission for him to enter the range and proceed to the FAARP.

As I was talking on the radio I couldn’t help but notice that the tech reps left hand had fingers missing and the left top tip of his ear was missing as well. He also had a large scar on the left side of his cheek. I was given the ok for him to enter the range and he was on his way.

That evening back in the GP medium I excitedly explained what I had saw. The other guys in my company said that there were rumors of a guy who walked into a Cobra tail rotor and survived. Maybe that was him.

Well 5 years later while attending the Army’s Aviation Safety Inspectors Course we were out smoking and joking during a break in class where we had just watched a slide show with pics of deceased aviators and their crashed aircraft. We were swapping war stories about accidents and I mentioned the tail rotor story and the guy I saw 5 years earlier at Hohenfels.

Seems the myth was true. Turns out standing across from me was a guy who was present at the moment of the accident. This guy explained that a Cobra was running at ground idle on the armament pad during an exercise. The tech rep was troubleshooting a problem and needed to move to the other side of the aircraft. Instead of going around the nose of the aircraft, avoiding the tail rotor as was ingrained into us, this guy attempts to go around the REAR of the aircraft.

It was explained to the class that once he realized what was going on he threw up his left hand to shield his head, was struck by the tail rotor in the hand cutting of his fingers and grazing his left ear and cheek. He fell to the ground in shock and was medivac’d out.
Link Posted: 12/1/2007 8:12:05 AM EST
[#34]

Quoted:

I guess the Marine who got his kidneys stolen in Vegas was in your unit as well, right?


I wouldn't know about that, but I was at Lejeune for six years and DO happen to know a little about that place.
Link Posted: 12/1/2007 8:55:58 AM EST
[#35]
wow I heard the kidney thief one at SOI in 1995 ha ha
the black siff from vietnam vet

the VCR wife bang vid one from a gulf war 1 Marine vet in 1995



not a urban legend but I heard this in person from a SPC that was to replace me after I did my one year stint in the Guard. I noticed him about a month before with SGT rank and CAB on with another unit.

He is in my Unit on his first day (my last day)and I am supposed to cross train quick and I notice no CAB and No SGT stripes


I don't say anything and there are a bunch of pvts around and such and the new CO
he is like "sir if we deploy DON'T put me in the FOB I have to be out past the wire..my last deployment I had a cast on my wrist and they were going out and I said "I'm going with" and was told no because of my cast so I told them to cut it off and went with them"

the CO just gives him a weird look and I am trying not to laugh because I just heard that verbatim in "blackhawk down"

then later he says how he punched his CO in Iraq and got demoted from SGT to specialist

and that he was given so many purple heart that he tore the papers up because they are a joke

oh and his M4 jammed and he had to kill insurgents with a battlefield pick up ak






Link Posted: 12/1/2007 11:14:25 AM EST
[#36]
When I was in the Marines in the early 90's one of the rumors I heard there was that they were going to get rid of the Marines all together and stick us all in the Army because we were too small and not usefull enough. I ended up there anyways.

One rumor I heard in Kuwait before going home after the invasion was that as soon as we turned over our FOB to the Iraqi Army the insurgents attacked it and blew it up completely. Ten months later I drove past it again on my second trip over there and it was still standing in perfect condition.

I also heard most of the other ones including the buffer suicide one and the basketball one. I even heard the one about the Colonels wife getting hit by artillery, but I heard it at Fort Hood.

Link Posted: 12/1/2007 12:59:20 PM EST
[#37]
What about the guy they stuck in a wall locker and threw him out a second story window? I heard that one at Ft. Sill and in Germany.
Link Posted: 12/1/2007 1:05:14 PM EST
[#38]
When I was in SOI I caught a guy ducking out of field day in a wall locker and I locked him in it and we pushed him outside the backdoor and down two flights of stairs (not gently either). Very true story on that one. We were caught (obviously) by our troop handlers but did not get into any trouble over it.
Link Posted: 12/1/2007 1:25:51 PM EST
[#39]
Forgot another one.

Soldier is in basic training and manages to steal a live frag grenade.  He sneaks it back to the barracks and stashes it in the drop ceiling near a wall at the end of his bay, which is on the second floor.  A few days later he's the first one back from chow.  He goes to retrieve the grendade, but he fishes around in the ceiling for a while before finding it.  He manages to snag it with one finger and pulls back only the pin.  

The frag rolls a bit and drops down inside the wall, clattering down to the first floor.  It blows a 5-foot hole in the wall of first floor (which happens to be the drill sergeant's office) just as the drill sergeant steps out.  Drill sergeant searches the barracks and finds the private standing on a bunk with the ceiling open and a pin on his finger.  Much hilarity (and UCMJ action) ensues.

While that's a myth, a kid did get arrested by the MPs out of formation while I was in basic.  He'd stolen a stripper clip of 5.56 from the ammo point and stashed it in the drop ceiling.  Another private saw him and ratted him out.  Never saw the guy again after the MPs took him away.
Link Posted: 12/1/2007 2:08:22 PM EST
[#40]
When I was in Germany in 1983 the exact same thig occured, although it only involved one flight of stairs. The guy in the locker got f&%$!d up bad.

I knew a medic that claimed to have seen a wall locker go airborne out of a second story window during a full field inspection. The inspecting SGM was not impressed with the layout.


Quoted:
When I was in SOI I caught a guy ducking out of field day in a wall locker and I locked him in it and we pushed him outside the backdoor and down two flights of stairs (not gently either). Very true story on that one. We were caught (obviously) by our troop handlers but did not get into any trouble over it.
Link Posted: 12/1/2007 2:21:22 PM EST
[#41]
I dont remember anything bad happening to the guy we did it to, I believe he finished SOI with us with no problems. We got a big cussing out while the Gunny was there but as soon as the Gunny walked away our troop handler walked up to us and said basicly good plan, poor execution and had a laugh and walked off.

Me and a few guys also taped one of our platoon suck dicks to his rack on graduation night of boot camp with medical tape. We also enclosed the bottom portion of the rack where he slept with tape and then stacked all the foot lockers in front of the Drill Instructors Door and in the morning we all in unison announced "SIR, TIME ON DECK IS......" well, the Senior was standing behind us. Seems like the DI's new it all along But at least it was fun. Nothing like one more IT session from your DI's before the big moment right?
Link Posted: 12/1/2007 2:24:00 PM EST
[#42]
Heard this one plenty of times....

www.snopes.com/military/flagball.asp
Link Posted: 12/1/2007 2:32:33 PM EST
[#43]

Quoted:
What about the guy they stuck in a wall locker and threw him out a second story window? I heard that one at Ft. Sill and in Germany.



We had the story going around post about the German girl with the amputated legs. Used to see her at the bars outside post a lot. Seems she ended up one night in some grunts wall locker. They found her the next morning.
Link Posted: 12/1/2007 2:34:24 PM EST
[#44]

Quoted:

Quoted:

I guess the Marine who got his kidneys stolen in Vegas was in your unit as well, right?


I wouldn't know about that, but I was at Lejeune for six years and DO happen to know a little about that place.


I was there to and heard about it plenty...heard it was all BS...not fight and bitch, I just think the story is bogus...we can work to confirm it..dates, wife, unit CO..etc...

Because 'it' happened when I was there (minus the three floats) too...90-late 94 (before I lat moved).



Link Posted: 12/1/2007 2:35:50 PM EST
[#45]

Quoted:

Never heard of the floor buffer suicide.


+1, a little more than 8 years in, I never heard this one. Whats the dope?

Not a suicide, but middle 1988, Ft. Gordon, GA.  Frayed cord, water on floor, zap.  End of story.
Link Posted: 12/1/2007 2:37:14 PM EST
[#46]

Quoted:
I knew a medic that claimed to have seen a wall locker go airborne out of a second story window during a full field inspection.



We had a drunk Medic fall two floors down the center of the barracks stairwell and end up at the front of the CQ’s desk. The guy barely missed a BIY artillery shell fire alarm. He got up unscathed and walked back up to his room.
Link Posted: 12/1/2007 2:37:23 PM EST
[#47]
The notch in dogtags being for sticking between front teeth and kicking into place on dead bodies.
Link Posted: 12/1/2007 2:44:17 PM EST
[#48]
We had a guy store his beer on the shelf outside his room at Ft. Sill and fall out of the second story window reaching for a beer. CQ found him an hour later doing police call all fucked up and unable to walk.
Link Posted: 12/1/2007 2:51:30 PM EST
[#49]
The Afganies that were getting hit with 50 BMG exploding on the mountain sides. I hear that all the [email protected] time in the gun shop. Im talking about the videos of the woodchucks getting blown to bits in the rocks.
Link Posted: 12/1/2007 2:52:59 PM EST
[#50]
We had a guy very first night in Germany get taken out on the town. Guys got him drunk, he passed out in front of the bar on the side walk. He woke up when the bar maid started flushing his puke down the gutter with buckets of hot water.

His new buddies made sure he got back on post. Back at the barracks he woke up in his bunk. Except his bunk was not in his room, it was in front of the latrine. Man he had one hell of a time, stoned drunk, dragging that bunk back down the hall to his room.

Hey! Wait a minute! That guy was me!  
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