My Classroom instructer was telling us stories of student a few classes ago that was a US Air force special ranger. Apparently a fitness buff also. He was in the driver's gym on the treadmill one day and didn't have the key hooked to his shirt. Of couse we all know that US Air Force Special Rangers don't need safety items, and that they can run 100 paces a minute forever. Well this Special Ranger set the treadmill to that very speed and got on, sometime later, no doubt several hours, his pants fell down. Causing him to trip and strike his Uber tactical head on the treadmill knocking him smooth the fuck out. The treadmill promptly transported mister Ranger to the rear of the unit and left his head resting on the end until it rubbed through to clean white bone.
Upon return from the hospitial, 3 days later he was discovered taking a special Ranger power nap. In the drop yard, with his legs in a pot hole, a pot hole filled with water, and oil and the bandages from his head.
Later that day as he was put on the bus after getting his medical DQ he awed our instructer with stories of the Rangers and how he was going back to them to "kill japs"
He was last seen selling Beef Jerkey and Hellfire triggers.
How are people so fucking stupid?