NSC accidental death list, US, 1997:
1. Motor Vehicles 2. Falls 3. Poisoning [solids & liquids] 4. Drowning 5. Fire and Burns 6. Suffocation 7. Firearms 8. Poisoning [gases]
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I as a resonable Govt legislator propose the following resonable safety regulations:
1. Ban cars and trucks. Bring back the horse and buggy. Is getting from point a to b quickly really that important?? Think about your children for one second you selfish bastard.
2. Ban gravity.
Hundreds of people can be saved each year if the earth would stop "smacking" into them.
I propose a $200 fine for all people who continue to use gravity. And once a month cops can have a special "awareness\revenue generating" campaign. Stopping anyone they see who still walks using gravity.
3. Ban all poisons! Anything that when consumed in a large enough quantity should be banned. This includes all cleaning products. (use spit and a rag instead) Since Salt can kill you if enough is taken that shall go also. Paint thinner is also wicked so it shall also go. Painting is overrated anyway i reckon.
4. Ban all pools, tubs, buckets and anything that could cause a person to drown (this includes soupbowls) More people take showers anyway. And pools are only for rich scumbags. I also suggest that all natural ponds be heavily taxed and regulated. The money should be used to fund a program that determines if Ponds pose a threat to our communities.
5. Ban all things that can "combust". This includes Matches and lighters , an unfortunate and i assure you completely unintended side effect of this will be Smoking will be impossable therefore banned. Any gas burning product is now outlawed including stoves and grills.
6. Ban pillows. that one is a no brainer.
7. and lastly since Guns have "no benefical Purpose" to society and the second Amendment was about the national guard all guns are hereby banned.
Have a nice* day.
* and safe.